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Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 12:11:45 PM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		This message hit my inbox today

"It would appear that you have forsaken the physical poly or otherwise. I wanted you to appear in a biblical version of a movie about BDSM for which we already have financing, as Ruth or possibly Esther..."
I think the lengths some people go to to convince you to do what they want instead of what you say you're doing are too funny.

What's the funniest one you've ever gotten?
Suzanne

[Mod Note:  quoted email trimmed]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 9/27/2006 3:45:37 PM >
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RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 12:21:56 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Wow, that is a good one.

(in reply to onestandingstill)
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RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 12:31:35 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		So, are you going to reevaluate your decision so you can have your movie career take off?

Don't you know a similar offer was made to Julia Roberts concerning her non-movie career before she was offered her "Pretty Woman" role. She had to do some "method acting" with the producers.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
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RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 1:39:21 PM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I'm surprised there's no funny messages being recounted here. I'd have thought there'd be some doozies out there to share with us all. Any takers?
I really would be interested in hearing other's unusual or hysterical opening lines.

(in reply to onestandingstill)
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RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 1:42:30 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe it was Tom Cruise?  Or Mel Gibson?

(Sorry can't relate any "doozies"....nothing I've ever received comes close to yours! lol)

< Message edited by windchymes -- 8/23/2006 1:43:15 PM >

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to onestandingstill)
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RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 1:52:14 PM   
Steelriven


Posts: 300
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		That's funny! Most of the ones I get are either vulgar, or lack total comon sence.

Example:

Hay luv u profile u want 2 chat? What u into?

I've got tons of em...

Steelriven

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 2:04:55 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		And of course there'd be a casting couch involved, right?
You know, "just to see if you're *right* for the part!"
Would the guy give you your own dressing trailor too?
How about limo service to and fro?
I get a bunch from guys wanting me to "Dom them."
No thanks guys! I'm not into guys at all!
I've gotten a few from Dommes wanting to "whip my butt" too.
(For whatever reason I don't know.)

< Message edited by popeye1250 -- 8/23/2006 2:54:37 PM >

(in reply to Steelriven)
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RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 2:08:53 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		None of the messages I get are *that* weird, nor ever rude or offensive....... but I did get an amusing one today that simply said ...... **You may reply, politely**   Erm........I was wondering just *what* I was supposed to reply to......lol

agirl

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 3:32:53 PM   
Inhibitor


Posts: 73
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		I've been getting lots of emails from a "dom" who I did not contact, insisting over and over that we *are* going to talk despite my total lack of interest. . Oh, but he must have more pictures of me as an "act of faith" before he'll talk (even though I never prompted him to).

The best part is the constant hypocrisy (my profile states that I'm taken and not looking):

"I understand and respect your position(s)--but ..."
"I DO appreciate your position(s).  But..."

The guy's profile is as telling as a blank wall, too.
It's like...what? You found my wallet? You gonna tell me the secret to immortality?

That and this 70 year old asshat who's convinced that I'm his "domme" because I told him off for writing me a stupid and disrespectful email and he got his jollies over it. Help meeeee.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 4:30:51 PM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		too bad..."you coulda been a star!"  lol.....

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 4:39:39 PM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		I ended up getting a rude one from a Gorean FW who I asked politely for some information about being a Dominant Gorean woman. Her reply basically told me that she thought my question was just a waste of her time and that I am unworthy to know what it is like to be a Dominant woman.

Got an email from one guy that said somthing to the effect of "Hello Mistress. I would serve your every needs over webcam". Never mention the fact I already have a family, of which I am Master (I hate the female use of the word Mistress), and as such, am not looking for anyone. especially a cyber guy.

Got one from a Dom, who gave me his yahoo ID and said to IM him. Yeah, thanks for the lack of a real introduction.

I swear some people don't know what the purpose of a profile is.

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to stockingluvr54)
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RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 4:48:03 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		OMG that is utterly histerical! It would really take something to top that one lol.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 5:04:18 PM   
subinsouth


Posts: 55
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline 		how about this one and this is the first message EVER
 
'you may step forward now'
 
gaaahhhhh!! 

(in reply to SweetSarijane)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 5:45:34 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

I think the lengths some people go to to convince you to do what they want instead of what you say you're doing are too funny.

What's the funniest one you've ever gotten?



*cracking up* How hilarious! I received this one the other day:

"Guessing many here have offered to bone your china!"

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 5:51:36 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I received this note from a guy full of charm:

I will spank and fuck your ass.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 6:01:52 PM   
Donnalee


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline 		Here's one I've got:

I've read your profile and will permit you to contact Me.

Yeah, riiight.  The profile that says I'm not looking for anyone???  Ug.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 6:23:49 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Lets see, My psycho ex-gf and sub tracked down my boy and emailed hima few choice messages. That was an interesting butting of heads. She kept trying to convince him that, after 4 years of searching for me after I dismissed her for beating the hell out of one of my male subs, that she would "steal" me away from him becasue as a girl she would always be more important...

And there was a Dom who contacted my boy to have him put ina good word with me about possibly having athreesome, so that he can discover my glorious submissive side...

And then theres always the ones who demand my boys name so taht they can check and see if im actually taken and not just trying to blow them off.  those are always amusing.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Aine)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 6:26:36 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Donnalee

Here's one I've got:

I've read your profile and will permit you to contact Me.

Yeah, riiight.  The profile that says I'm not looking for anyone???  Ug.


Oh, I love these... My boy gets them on occasion.  He tells me about it, ad then his replies are usually
"My Mistress appreciates my having recieved permission to contact you.  SHE has given me permission to tell you very respectfully to go take a flying fuck.

Have a lovely day"

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Donnalee)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 6:47:03 PM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline 		I've had too many of the the "hi wanna chat? s" to mention.

I also got the "i liked your profile, you may approach"  

One of my favorites was from a young man who stated that while he had never performed oral sex on another man, he would greatly appreciate me instructing him on the fine art of fellatio.

Edited to add:  I can't believe i forgot the one from a gentleman who said "Spankmepink....have you ever truly been spanked?...my guess would be no" 

< Message edited by spankmepink11 -- 8/23/2006 7:17:58 PM >

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 6:49:33 PM   
SleeplessGypsy


Posts: 49
Joined: 6/26/2006
Status: offline 		I get, 'do you smoke'? alot...

Last week I had a dood tell me that the CocaCola company in London is interested in my picture for a world wide campaign and are going to pay me something like 10grand... All I needed to do was send this man all my private info and he'd get back to me.... Yeah, I'll get right on that...

His profile stated he was a Dom in Virginia... I told him he was full of Poop and to go bug someone else...

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 20
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