RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free?

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/2/2005 3:08:05 PM

Paulnz

Posts: 411
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: REDsoon
It's interesting because for me when a man pays for services to be slave he is actually paying for a woman to conduct services and instruct/command her what to do on him and hence that man is behaving like a master in effect. He is in control by paying money. So how could that money slave who is commanding her like a master be a slave/submissive?

The client, in the circumstances, is only paying for time.

Men have tended to be the payer in the past, due to such factors as having the disposable income to be able to pay. Women have often paid in kind if not in cash.

Increasingly women are paying in cash, as they have separated their income/assets from the husband, and have more independence.

(in reply to REDsoon)

Post #: 61

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/2/2005 4:22:50 PM

REDsoon

Posts: 15
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

Don't get me wrong, I prefer a "deeper connection" with people that serve me. I find that the rewards are greater. I like to think that I get more of that BECAUSE I'm willing to see there are many ways to manifest that sort of relationship and it's the openness to their possibilities that enable that to happen. If I assumed that my understanding of things must be the only answer I'm confident that I would miss out on a lot.

Just because you or I can't imagine it doesn't mean it has no value for someone else.
......
I think the point that you're missing is that your statements are not objective and therefore your validation process is flawed.

I agree that I am not objective but it’s very hard to be very objective in BDSM. I am trying to find out if people exist that disagree/ agree with any of the 5 points in explaining why men seem to always pay. So I shouldn’t have called it a research study because doing so implies that at the end there would be a statistical answer. So this is not a poll or a quantitative study.

I looked at the Polling Mechanism and it is very restrictive for such a topic. If I used it I wouldn't have gotten such a comprehensive response from you or others.

For example, GoddessJule's response was, “The surplus of men that make the payment necessary for them when they ask for a session”. But other responded to this with disagreement/agreement and that is interesting to know. With this answer, if most men die in a national disaster, then the few who are left alive would have a greater value to FemDoms. So because of their rarity, their value would increase to the point that they won't need to pay for a session from a FemDom!!!

For Paulnz, it's paying for time is a must for a man considering traditions.

I understand that some subs like to be used like objects (like fantasizing of becoming an ashtray in a session) and I have always respected this. But your response still helped me keep an open-mind, especially when knowing that some mistresses seek a deeper connection.

< Message edited by REDsoon -- 1/2/2005 5:11:33 PM >

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 62

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/2/2005 5:43:37 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

quote:

I am trying to find out if people exist that disagree/ agree with any of the 5 points in explaining why men seem to always pay.

M. Red-

OK. you asked for it.

quote:

1) Men are not attractive physically. They are just attractive financially so the term “financial slaves” comes. .

Sheesh. speak for yourself, propellerhead. And I'd bet that if you ironed a shirt, got a haircut that wasn't strictly 1976 (and believe it- even in '76 your face wouldn't carry that hair) Ditto the John Denver glasses, and get a pair of pants that will stay on without a belt. Clean the room before you take a picture, too.

I am not that pretty- and I am sure not rich, but I make it work, and I present myself herewith good humor, compassion, and quiet confidence-just-this-side-of-cocky (At least I hope i come off that way-it's what I shoot for). And That, to women (most women, IMX) is attractive.

quote:

2) Men are more violent than women so women need money to compensate taking the risk for services. Women join for free on most web sites. Most Mistress’s prefer female slave/submissive in many cases.

Wow- I can't think of a way to put this, other to say that it seems you have not had alot of experiance with women. Kipling was right- the female is the more deadly of the speices, and often, far more the violent. and though it is more likely that a male will effectivly damage a female in attacking, I'd say that when the swinging starts, most women will not hesitate to do the most damage they canpossibly manage.

quote:

3) Men are more in number who are active socially (like at night on the streets) so their abundance make them less desirable. Keeping a 50/50 ratio is good for business so women join for free.

That I'll agree with.

quote:

4) Men could not control themselves due to testosterones so what they ask is in a quick rush. They may change their minds about being slaves/submissives anytime so money has to be taken to compensate for the loss of obtaining their services from them as.

I control my 'testoserone', quite well, thank you very much. I'd say that at least that level of self control is a requirement for status as a functional human adult, never mind a man, or a dominant. It's trite, but true- the first step to mastery is to master one's self. I have read the above serveral times, and I still can't be sure I understand what you are saying here.

quote:

5) A woman’s body is more attractive. Women say they are mistresses although they are very much physically weaker compared to their slave (who might be a man 3 times her size/height). It is just the attitude that matters and feminine attractiveness of the woman, this includes being shorter than the slave and even slimmer. So most web sites have either short or slim women as mistresses even though they are physically weak as mistresses. It's just men only look for female attractiveness (i.e., no large biceps and weak arms); men just don't care about reality even for the short duration for the session. So it’s having a physically strong woman that counts.

I almost requote this line by line to say answer 'not always, not even mostly' to all of it. and particully, I know five foot tall, 80 lbs, sixty year old lady who is one of the deadliest humans I know. Like Lethality, Power is not depenant on physical statue or stregnth.

Red, some of the best advice I can give is to carefully rework your postings- I am sure it is not your intent, but much of what you write in the four posts I have examined seems to have a certain petulance, a sort of whiney arguementiveness that seems to grate on some nerves. It is a difficult thing to address, but you might want to rewrite in the future with that in mind.

Stay Warm,

Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to REDsoon)

Post #: 63

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/2/2005 7:06:17 PM

TaurusMCMLVIII

Posts: 88
Joined: 1/20/2004
Status: offline

quote:

3) Men are more in number who are active socially (like at night on the streets) so their abundance make them less desirable. Keeping a 50/50 ratio is good for business so women join for free.

This seems to be the closest in my opinion. As someone else stated, it is a supply and demand issue or something similar. I am sure the basic differences between male social/sexual behavior and a female's also has some influence on who pays and who plays for free.

(in reply to REDsoon)

Post #: 64

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/2/2005 7:38:28 PM

REDsoon

Posts: 15
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Sheesh. speak for yourself, propellerhead. And I'd bet that if you ironed a shirt, got a haircut that wasn't...

I have not made my points too political nor spent much effort for them to look nice. I just put my thoughts directly as much as I could within the forum rules. Sometimes being direct helps convey the message better without having readers process too much information. So please feel free within the rules of this forums to say your thoughts as we learn together. I still learned from your response:

1) You talked on my known ugly appearance. Also, GoddessJules did so. But now this is not the issue. The issue is points 2 and 4 (on the list on page 1). The issue is then in a form of 2 questions:
Is it due to the nature of this male violence that men have to pay money? or is it due to testestorones that could not keep them in control of what they say (like on my appearance)? One woman's reponse who hated my appearance was short and not to the extend of agitation of topcat (I am not sure if my appearance got on his nerves though just asking. I am also not generalizing since there other men on the forum who stayed neutral). This is not a question related: But if women on average don't get upset as easily as topcat (or men in general), then does this make them less fit to become FemDom? May be it's point 5 that help them be Mistresses more than their neutral attitude. I am not saying there are no women who are amazonians and get upset quickly. It's just on average.

2) topcat agreed to number 3 (on the list that's on page 1) as well as GoddessJules and TaurusMCMLVIII.

This was helpful information so far and brings hope if the surplus of men is the reason.

< Message edited by REDsoon -- 1/2/2005 8:12:21 PM >

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 65

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/3/2005 12:11:26 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

quote:

nor spent much effort for them to look nice.

M. Red-

Why the hell not? The difference between 'not looking nice'and 'looking nice'- But still making your point! is IMO, about ten minutes of thought.

Why not make it look nice? why would you deliberatly make less than the best impression you could?

quote:

I am not sure if my appearance got on his nerves though just asking. I am also not generalizing since there other men on the forum who stayed neutral

No- My 'agitation' was more based on you apparent disregard for what anyone thought of you. That sounds fine and noble, but it almost seemed as though you were intentionally being insulting in your presentation

quote:

or is it due to testestorones that could not keep them in control of what they say (like on my appearance)?

My candid reply to you grew from compassion, not any sort of sexual agression. you are repeatedly and deteminatly jamming your foot into your mouth, and it is strictly from grandmotherly kindness that I responded.

I am still trying to decide if english is a second or third language for you, or if you just distain such universal concepts such as clear comunication, grammar and clarity.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

< Message edited by topcat -- 1/3/2005 12:12:09 AM >

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to REDsoon)

Post #: 66

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/3/2005 5:03:17 AM

smile2cu

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/21/2004
From: Dayton, OH
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessJules

quote:

How about responding by mentioning that you're worth it!
(I certainly assume you are.)

LOL! Me love you LONG time!!!!
*kisses*
J

I'm certainly making progress! Last I looked I was confined to the little toe.

But you'd be surprised how erotic one can get with toes.
(What am I saying??? I'm sure you wouldn't be the least bit surprised!)

Back to the topic. This does come up repeatedly, doesn't it. The last time it came up, I posted:

quote:

As I've mentioned, one of my good friends is a professional escort. She's truly a professional, in every sense of the word. I wish I could afford her more often, but I wouldn't mooch off of her. That's her job, after all.
When I can afford her, it's ecstacy. And she's a great teacher too!
And when I can't afford it, we're still friends, and just do the things that ordinary friends do.
So I'm a big supporter of professionals. ...

and at the risk of being repetitious the time before that:

quote:

As far as professionals are concerned, one of my very good friends is a professional escort. I'd no more mooch from her than from my lawyer and physician friends. I can't afford her very often professionally, but when I can she's worth every penny. I wasn't inexperienced orally, but she's certainly helped a lot. These days we can barely crawl to the door after a session. We're friends outside as well, and have seen each other through several tough times, but she clearly is a professional in the finest sense of the word.

_____________________________

Friendly, kind, cheerful, and oral.

~smile~

(in reply to GoddessJules)

Post #: 67

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/3/2005 7:53:17 AM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

Maybe instead of this question, he should have asked why some people feel the need to pick on others for the way they dress, or wear their hair, or the kind of glasses they wear, or even the kind of questions they ask.

caitlyn

(in reply to smile2cu)

Post #: 68

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/3/2005 9:06:30 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

quote:

even the kind of questions they ask.

Midear Caitlyn-

What sort of question did he ask? I reread his posts serveral times, and the gist of his statement seemed to be that prodommes are phoneys and whores, that men are somehow victimised by this.

My replies may have been a bit harsh, but please don't confuse grandmotherly kindness with anger- I was driven my real desire to help this guy before he dug a hole he'd never climb out of.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to caitlyn)

Post #: 69

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/3/2005 1:10:50 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: REDsoon
I have not made my points too political nor spent much effort for them to look nice. I just put my thoughts directly as much as I could within the forum rules. Sometimes being direct helps convey the message better without having readers process too much information. So please feel free within the rules of this forums to say your thoughts as we learn together. I still learned from your response:
The issue is then in a form of 2 questions:
Is it due to the nature of this male violence that men have to pay money? or is it due to testestorones that could not keep them in control of what they say (like on my appearance)? One woman's reponse who hated my appearance was short and not to the extend of agitation of topcat (I am not sure if my appearance got on his nerves though just asking. I am also not generalizing since there other men on the forum who stayed neutral). This is not a question related: But if women on average don't get upset as easily as topcat (or men in general), then does this make them less fit to become FemDom?

I mean no disrespect to you, but, You are either dense or arrogant beyond words; 3 pages of people telling you that this research is all about your finding folks who agree with you, or about your not understanding social norms/expectations, and Lawrence/Topcat (a man who has at least 50% of the women on these boards with tongue hanging out/lusting after him because he is such a man would never be whining like you're doing here) giving you advice to save you from this apparent recklessness on your part, and still, Yah Just Don't Get It...
Did you read any of the books about this lifestyle when entering? I read something in a book once, sorry cannot remember (either "Spare The Rod, Spoil The Fun/Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns) which I'll paraphrase (until I find the exact quote);
" Men pay, weather you are a Dom(because you'd want to take care of your sub), or a Sub(because you'd want to show respect for your Mistress); no, it's not fair, but if you want to play fair, go back to your baby toys, you're not ready to pay with the grown ups yet".
Good Luck Red, M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 1/3/2005 5:23:26 PM >

(in reply to REDsoon)

Post #: 70

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/3/2005 4:15:27 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: REDsoon

I agree that I am not objective but it’s very hard to be very objective in BDSM.

I vehemently disagree with you here. It's usually the ability to objectively reason that prevents us from putting ourselves in jeopardy and rushing into things. It's objective reasoning that enables us to make rational decisions for those we are responsible for.

It's objectivity that enables us to ponder concepts and incorporate new data. Subjectivity in this process can often get in the way. I believe your original post is a good example of such.

quote:

ORIGINAL: REDsoon

I am trying to find out if people exist that disagree/ agree with any of the 5 points in explaining why men seem to always pay. So I shouldn’t have called it a research study because doing so implies that at the end there would be a statistical answer. So this is not a poll or a quantitative study.

Please see my next few sentences as feedback. You did not ask, in your original post, if people agreed with your 5 points (nor your basic premise of the power dynamic in a ProDomme/malesub relationship - see your first post, 2nd paragraph). You'll note that, in presenting your 5 points, you asked:

quote:

I just want to know if the answer is more than one of the following points:

Judging by the amount of responses that you got and what most of them had to say, I'd have to say that most people did not take your statements as an inquiry regarding agreement or disagreement with your 5 points. Your post was generally taken as something else entirely.

Further to topcat's suggestion regarding writing style I propose to you that a statement something along the lines of "I'm interested in knowing if anyone agrees or disagrees with the following 5 points as explanation for the femdom/money phenomenon and, if you disagree with them all, what is your explanation for it?" would have been more successful. I bet if you re-read your post a few times before you clicked "post now" you would have seen that, too.

I'll tell you right now, I read your post and thought "yet another person who has a very limited view of the scene and can't open his mind enough to see that his view is REALLY limited." Your post communicated to me that you are judgmentally condescending about a sector of the scene that you are intrigued by but, due to lack of experience, have stereotypical misconceptions that you present as fact (simply because you can't see another way). In short, I struggled very hard not to label you a moronic asshole.

Now, I'm not saying that's what you wrote, I'm saying that's what I read. I'd bet a number of other posters here had a similar struggle, judging by the kinds of responses you got. If the majority of your responses suggest you were misunderstood then perhaps it's not just the personality of the person doing the reading. Responsibility for clearly communicating usually lies with the speaker, otherwise why bother? I'll grant you that there are some who post specifically to be difficult and don't feel the need to consider their audience, but I don't read them and I know many who don't. So, if you want to be read you've got to consider your audience.

quote:

ORIGINAL: REDsoon

I looked at the Polling Mechanism and it is very restrictive for such a topic. If I used it I wouldn't have gotten such a comprehensive response from you or others.

I agree that the poll can be limiting. You would not have been able to post as much text inside the poll itself. However, many people use the poll to control the direct responses and then invite discussion within the thread. It means you'd have to be more concise in the poll, but I bet you could have made it work if you wanted to spend a bit of time thinking about it. Then you could have elaborated and invited discussion within the thread. Barring that, then I refer you to my earlier dissertation regarding writing style.

quote:

ORIGINAL: REDsoon

I understand that some subs like to be used like objects (like fantasizing of becoming an ashtray in a session) and I have always respected this. But your response still helped me keep an open-mind, especially when knowing that some mistresses seek a deeper connection.

I'm glad that I was able to be helpful to you in that post, and that you've found value in many of the responses. I again reiterate that some self examination in your communications and a greater willingness to understand that your experience may be limited might prove very helpful for you (and certainly less painful than this thread has been). It could make the difference in what you can take away from the experience.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to REDsoon)

Post #: 71

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/3/2005 5:13:58 PM

snakus

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/12/2004
From: Melbourne Australia
Status: offline

We are influenced by the standards of society. In the main women expect to be looked after, and men expect to do the looking after. That is why when involved in D/s the male dom will show his dominance by paying for things for his sub and a femdom will expect to have things payed for by her sub. We like to think we are beyond the influence of society but we are not. As for looks that is only important to the small minded.
snakus

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 72

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/3/2005 5:34:56 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: snakus

We are influenced by the standards of society. In the main women expect to be looked after, and men expect to do the looking after. That is why when involved in D/s the male dom will show his dominance by paying for things for his sub and a femdom will expect to have things payed for by her sub. We like to think we are beyond the influence of society but we are not. As for looks that is only important to the small minded.
snakus

I wouldn't argue that we are influenced by society. I would argue a gross generalization, though.

I am pretty sure the two gentlemen that asked me to marry them last year wanted to take care of me. I'm sure they'd tell you that not only is being taken care of not a priority for me (as I do quite well on my own), but they'd also tell you that I tend to eschew the notion of being taken care of. It leaves a foul taste in my mouth.

While I agree that stereotypes get their life from some level of truth in the statements, I don't agree that they are usually accurate. The notion that women in general expect to be taken care of is one of those stereotypes.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to snakus)

Post #: 73

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/3/2005 6:16:50 PM

realophelia

Posts: 168
Status: offline

quote:

I am trying to make a research and see why men usually pay money/tribute to be a submissive while women can receive services free.

I've never thought of Domming as services, but I guess I know what you're getting at.

I think the reason male subs pay (for dates and outings and dinners) is because culturally men usually do pay for these things. I don't really see any reason why a woman whose Domme should be expected to pick up the bill.

If you're paying for somebody's time, that's a different story and like somebody else said probably pretty much just a case of supply and demand.

Yours truly,
Ophelia

< Message edited by realophelia -- 1/3/2005 6:59:14 PM >

_____________________________

"And every one of them words rang true And glowed like burning coal Pouring off of every page Like it was written in my soul..."

(in reply to REDsoon)

Post #: 74

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/3/2005 10:06:08 PM

snakus

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/12/2004
From: Melbourne Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

I I would argue a gross generalization, though.

It was meant as a generalisation that's why I used the words "in the main" (even though we both speak english we don't) Most but not all of the D/s relationships I've encountered follow the generalisation I posted.

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 75

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/4/2005 12:25:28 AM

REDsoon

Posts: 15
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline

quote:

It's objectivity that enables us to ponder concepts and incorporate new data. Subjectivity in this process can often get in the way. I believe your original post is a good example of such.

What makes you think I am against objectivity? It is very hard to be completely objective is what I meant.

The potential answers to the question, “Why men (usually) pay” are presented on page 1. They are presented in a point format, points 1 through 5, in order to increase specificity. At least 3 members chose number 3 as the answer.

If you read carefully, you might also notice that some people considered culture/tradition as another important point to consider. So the 5-point system should now be expanded to ask if culture/ tradition is an important factor as an explanation to why men usually pay for BDSM sessions. However, with a very restrictive polling system, it is hard to make such a quick discovery to this new point/factor. The polling system sounds great but it’s not the right way for this.

One reason as to why it’s difficult to be very objective in BDSM here is because everybody has her/his own unique sweet way of doing/viewing things. Some find that being a “money slave” an attractive thing by itself (i.e., they find it a positive thing) while others find the money paid for a session to be a negative thing but still they pay for it. They still pay for it because the many advantages that they experience from a session outweigh the negatives so they go for it. My original post is a little more specific than how this money in this example is used (whether this money is used to be part of a fetish or be used just as a fee for a session). It is actually about why sub men usually have to pay for a session while women don't. I am not against the Dom/Sub business because it helps in making some fantasies become reality (at least for the duration of the session).

Thank you

< Message edited by REDsoon -- 1/4/2005 12:36:57 AM >

(in reply to realophelia)

Post #: 76

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/4/2005 4:52:05 AM

NiteMare4sub

Posts: 6
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline

my subs always pay for my services, even if it is a marginal amount. It is part of the service i provide, which includes a lot of toys and expertise.

_____________________________

NiteMare

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 77

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/4/2005 5:50:16 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: snakus

Most but not all of the D/s relationships I've encountered follow the generalisation I posted.

We walk in parallel universes.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to snakus)

Post #: 78

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/7/2005 10:36:41 AM

Tristan

Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline

Interesting topic, but I think most are missing some important points. There are some legitimate concerns over taking money for specific services, but I think there are no clear guidelines on when this is appropriate. Most of us understand it would not be a good idea to take money from the little old lady who needs help crossing the street, but it’s ok to take money from our employers. I think it might be a less emotionally charged question to ask “what are the guidelines you use when taking money?”

Personally, I do not make a profit from family or friends. As a cabinet maker, I get lots of requests from family and friends for work. However, I will not take money to cover any more than my expenses if doing the work for family or friends. The people I consider family and friends are people I trust will be there for me when I need them. Making a profit from these people would change our relationship. However, I don’t have a problem making a profit from acquaintances.

I enjoy the emotional connection of a relationship. There is something about mixing money or a profit with an emotional relationship that just doesn’t work for me. I suppose if I thought of “sex workers” as people who are providing just a service, it would be ok, but I see sex as a relationship and not a service. Maybe I just old fashioned or out of touch.

Tristan

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 79

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/7/2005 11:02:22 PM

REDsoon

Posts: 15
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Interesting topic, but I think most are missing some important points. …. I think it might be a less emotionally charged question to ask, “what are the guidelines you use when taking money?”

Yes, it is an emotionally charged question. I could have wrapped it with many layers of kind words as your example above. However, my direct and short way of asking the question has attracted much attention including yours. At least, this made some people think carefully about this.

However, one or two people felt very uncomfortable with my presentation. I am NOT sure why this is so but I feel some hate to face reality by questioning why things are the way they are. One person felt that I am against the FemDom business because I asked the question, “Why men pay..?”. These are just interpretations of what my intention is.

quote:

There is something about mixing money or a profit with an emotional relationship that just doesn’t work for me.

There is something about this that enticed me to ask the question. However, before I asked this question, I asked myself so many other questions. Some of them:

1) Wouldn’t it be great for male subs if many more female dominants that LOVE to acquire male sub- missives do really exist? Do female dominants exist where they are the ones willing to pay a fee for gaining sub-missives in their possession? I know I shouldn’t use the word, “gaining” here because it might imply that subs have value (to their FemDOMs) greater than the money they pay.

2) Wouldn’t be great if a sub loves a female dominant for her pure dominance and how she carries herself rather than how feminine (i.e. physically weaker than male) her body looks? It’s just a pure dominance-submission relationship that’s of interest to me. But it’s physical appearance that men are concerned about. Because of this constant drive by men to physical attractiveness, I started thinking that the reason why men pay money is due to their enormous requests to see women that could easily go out of control unless there is a fee to control it. So it’s just convenient for women and FemDom businesses to ask for a fee. So this is why I included the surplus of men in the 5-point system.

< Message edited by REDsoon -- 1/7/2005 11:05:06 PM >

(in reply to Tristan)

Post #: 80

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free?

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109