RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free?

Page: << < prev 2 3 4 5 [6]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/11/2005 11:13:17 AM

Starsailor

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

Hmm perhaps your should just stop generalising? There have been dominant women role models throughout history, as a dominant woman these women are who I have, and I assume many other dominant women, have identified with. Which is why I suggested you broaden your history learnings given that subservience of

Well I havn't said there weren't any dominant women in history. My whole point about generalizations was that there ARE exceptions. Don't misunderstand me, I think it's good there are dominant women, in fact there should be much more because obviously there IS a high demand. It's a very good thing that (*more or less*) liberal societies allow people to choose their roles freely. Unfortunately thus, there are only few (-> for evolutionary reasons) dominant women. And strikingly, rather many of those who are are not content to dominate and possess, as are most men, but in addition want money. That was the point under discussion, and I offered an explanation derived from evolution theory.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

I'll further add that your claim of women being unable to view their slave mates as precious in themselves, smacks of misandry given that what you are really saying is no woman dominates from a point of genuine
power because she has never had power in society and thus can't understand what it means to have it on a personal level.

Which I didn't say. My point was simply that to *those who demand money* their slaves apparently are not precious enough since they demand money in addition. I continue to think it's a strange way to be "loved and honoured", as you say, if one has to pay money to get loved. It's quite the same with vanilla prostitution - many men, especially men who can't have easily sex for free, feel bad about paying: It's degrading if you are not loved (or fucked,...) for what you are, but for what you pay. Accusing me of misogyny is just trying to kill the argument.

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Profile

Post #: 101

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/11/2005 11:53:11 AM

Starsailor

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline

nice posting

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeneathHerFeet

There are numerious good reasons why a Pro Domme can and should charge for Her time from a submissive, such as the abundance of submissive males. Personally, its not a D/s angle i'm interested in and i'm more interested a relationship, but i still respect the Pro Domme's perogative. As a submissive male who is seeking training, however, the reality is that i may have to seek out a Pro Domme and in that respect, i will pay Her without complaint.

I'm absolutely fine with Pro Dommes (BDSM community sites should include a possibility to filter them, though, for those who don't believe in paying for sex/love). You're right that for many it's the only chance. But if you do it from a professional perspective, it's just not the same. You then don't feel that your slave is something precious, or at least much less. It's not the real thing. It's doing a job, no problem with that...

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeneathHerFeet

As for Doms and female subs. again, its all about the Dom's perogative. Some pay, some don't have to. In any case, it's the same deal. Even if it's less common that the female sub pays the Dom, that's irrelevant. Its all about how the Dom/Domme wants it.

But I don't have to like it do I? Of course they can choose to demand money, but from the fact that they do I conclude that they don't appreciate the slave as much for what he is, as those do who don't take money. I think it hardly can be contested that almost all men don't feel good about paying in a relationship, and if they pay it's only because they can't have it for free. A more-or-less professional relationship is just not as good and valuable as a real one, based on mutual attraction, and trivially so. Men have evolved and have been socialized to consider the possession and love of a beautiful woman as the most desirable thing in life, and therefore demanding money doesn't make sense. It wouldn't come to my mind. Money's just not worth it.

Apparently, many women feel different about it. I suggested that for evolutionary reasons, possession of a male is normally not as valuable to a woman as it is the other way round. (This is related to child-bearing, since males in all times could exclude competitors from impregnating their women by having control and power over them.)

(in reply to BeneathHerFeet)

Profile

Post #: 102

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 1/11/2005 4:44:44 PM

REDsoon

Posts: 15
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Jasmyn,
sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. As I said, exceptions granted. Generalizations in social matters usually don't apply to EVERYONE….

There is no reason to be sorry (as long as you followed the forum rules). It's better to say what you think rather than format your answer too much to look nice and politically correct.

Sometimes I might sound rude to some readers as you could see in this forum but I tried to say what I think while following the forum’s rules. So please let us LEARN from each other by unfolding the hidden mysteries in the answers posted (or will ve posted) for this question!!

However, Jasmyn’s response seems to bring a lot of hope to many sub-missive men (& women) who are seeking to be viewed as lovely and precious.

Furious’s response is also very honest. It reveals some truth and confirms the pattern (men are expected to pay more) exist. I rarely see an ad from FemDom that says women are expected to pay more to cover expenses. I might be wrong but the pattern I see is that men are expected to pay more. So the exceptions to this pattern are rare.

< Message edited by REDsoon -- 1/11/2005 4:47:45 PM >

(in reply to Starsailor)

Profile

Post #: 103

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 2/6/2005 1:49:10 AM

ShadeDiva

Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

Found this again through a different post - and I won;t rehash what I've stated a bunch of times on other threads on this topic, but I *will* say this:

There ARE quite a few financial MALE dominants out there too yanno.

This isn't a femdom only thing, quite a few men seek financial slaves as well.

I am curious - slightly - why you'd assume this "research" should only be conducted about the femdom aspect of those that seek financial servants, and do not include the men seeking the same thing as well.

And, no, I wouldn't accept the reason of "because women are the majority that do this" as a good reason, because if you are in fact doing research, that isn't really a scientific reason to exclude that dynamic in my book.

Just curious.

~ShadeDiva

_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Profile

Post #: 104

RE: Research: Why men pay, while women free? - 2/28/2005 4:29:15 PM

REDsoon

Posts: 15
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I am curious - slightly - why you'd assume this "research" should only be conducted about the femdom aspect of those that seek financial servants, and do not include the men seeking the same thing as well.

It’s because you get more specific answers. Besides, it's more popular that male slaves existance is more popular. I may be wrong but correct me if I am wrong.

quote:

And, no, I wouldn't accept the reason of "because women are the majority that do this" as a good reason, because if you are in fact doing research, that isn't really a scientific reason to exclude that dynamic in my

The majority you mentioned above could be the answer. At the same time, it might not be the answer. This is why with the help of many participants of this forum, I came up with the list on http://www.collarme.com/forum/m_55272/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm

(in reply to ShadeDiva)

Profile

Post #: 105