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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 10:47:08 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Subinside, your's is a good answer as well!
The "one thing" questions are tough because there "always" more than one thing!
Noah, lol!

(in reply to subinside)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 10:48:26 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		You know, Noah, there are some nights I just gotta love you.
I will ask a different question. Hey, gimme a minute. Where's everyone else's creative genius hiding these days, when it comes to posting questions? I beat my head against a wall for hours trying to come up with 'em, and some days are just plain better than others, really (and yes, I am teasing you). Really. I love reading your replies. And I love your sense of humor, and your  insight. I do.

You are of course, correct in what you say (not unusual).

I appreciate and understand your toaster analogy. And just to give you food for thought, I consider myself to be an English Muffin, not bread, - so you're gonna need (or someone is anyway) something along the lines of a convection oven, not a toaster. But of course, you can get back to me on that -

*P.S. I just posted another question (really) See what you think. It's up on the CM boards now...

Yours,

Susan  

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/27/2006 11:45:39 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 11:10:37 PM   
BlueHnS


Posts: 166
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline 		I think it's being able to just be together and just breathe. I dont mean inhaling and exhaling. I mean everything else just fades away in those moments and you simply ... are ... together.

_____________________________

Questions are dangerous, for they have answers. ~ Kushiel's Dart
I think I'm going to get off. ~ The Poet

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/27/2006 11:55:30 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Trust has been the most difficult thing for me to learn and experience.  It creates the relationship possibility and can distroy it as well if not cared for by both partners. 

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"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 12:01:13 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I am just wondering what people think it might be. It would be wonderful, if people can and want to do it, if they can make their answer personal. I realize "honesty", "loyalty", etc. are all important, but what, specifically for you, would make, or be an indication that a relationship very meaningful?

Personally, I like it when people are so in tune with eachother, they hardly need words anymore to communicate. They understand eachother's moods, nuances in body language, etc. Before you roll your eyes, and decide I am a hopeless romantic (which I can be, but do realize its inherent limitations) - keep in mind that I realize that it is also very dangerous to ever assume you "just always know" what a partner is thinking. But it is kind of nice, I think, when they know eachother that well. At least for me, it makes me feel secure - like there is someone out there in the world who truly "gets me".

For people to get to this point, I think they have to be willing to get to really know eachother, and put themselves out there, so to speak. There are people out there who actually are not willing to get to know someone. And if this meets their needs, then fine. But I doubt, personally, that's going to lead to any life-altering, rock-their-world relationship. But, whatever people want is fine, of course.

Any thoughts? What makes a relationship so special for you, that is just rocks your world?

- Susan


I dont think there is any one particular thing that makes for a loving BDSM relationship, or a non-BDSM relationship for that matter.  Its differerent unto each couple and my guess is that it would take more than 'one' thing to make for a loving relationship.  Furthermore, not everyone needs to be in a loving relationship to be in a satisifying relationship that works for them

For me, being valued as a possession would be the most important form of "glue".  I wouldnt even need my Sir to neccesarily be in love with me.  But, wiithout feeling like I am cared for and valued for my million and one uses , I doubt Id be able to thrive in the relationship very well.  For someone else it might be good sex.  For someone else yet, it may be keeping the romantic embers alive. For some...hee hee hee...it may be the way the bitch likes to toast the motherfuckers bread. lol.  No, Im kidding, I get Noah's point too, but it couldve been said in 2 sentences instead of causing us all eyeball bleeding.  heh.  What would be the one thing for you, Susan?

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 3:40:44 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I stated it in my initial paragraph - a feeling the person knows me well enough to "read me" without even needing to verbalize/speak to me, at times - (and uses that knowledge to nurture our relationship - this last added in a later paragraph). Thanks for the reply, Marie.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/28/2006 3:42:36 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 3:48:01 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah
Some people might say steel, because you need a material that can contain the bread and stand up to the intense heat required to toast it. But maybe there are somespace-age materials that would actually work even more reliably than steel. Some kind of high tech ceramic deal or other.


Hey, watch it now; I'm rather fond of steel.

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You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 3:52:09 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Nobody's gonna replace you, ExSteel - don't worry. Do you have any insightful comments on the original question?

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/28/2006 3:53:54 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 4:03:19 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Nobody's gonna replace you, ExSteel - don't worry. Do you have any insightful comments on the original question?

- Susan


Susan, I tried on this one, but can't come up with anything that hasn't been said well. It is such a vast topic with millions of words having been written about love which is what I see your post is about.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 4:05:16 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		ExSteel: Okay, I understand. You don't win the free door prize, though.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 6:27:17 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I guess maybe I can change my answer to trust. But I also liked the first thing I said, and it wouldn't happen if there wasn't a deep trust, so maybe trust should be my answer.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 6:39:11 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Susan, "trust" is a good answer too!
See how difficult these "One Thing" threads are to answer?

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 7:22:30 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Respect.

For me, no matter how much LOVE there is, if respect is lacking, then no relationship should exist.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 7:44:45 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Trust, love, honesty, compatibility, respect and time. Out of all of those trust is the key as with any relationship.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to subsa)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 8:15:20 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I think I can safely say, if being restricted to one thing, that *understanding* is extremely important to me. Nothing that I've experienced seems to wobble me more than being misunderstood.

There are so many intricate aspects to each successful relationship that it's not really possible to hinge it on one thing...but that's what came to mind when I read your post.

Regards, agirl



(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 8:20:18 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		For me, it is when my slave knows me so well that I can cry in front him, express doubts about myself in front of him, even have a "I hate my body" day in front of him and he still says "Mistress" and looks at me with as much respect as any other day.

I also like the fact that he can take me be (in his words) overwhelmingly cute and still want to kneel at my feet and obey my every whim.

In short, it is when he accepts me for the full human being I am.

I bet that for Fox it is very similar -- I can take his good and bad days, I can be supportive, but in it all I am his owner and will make the decisions and see them through.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 1:59:24 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Loving your bdsm partner ;-)

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 2:04:05 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		CARE

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 2:08:47 PM   
Eir


Posts: 118
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline 		The most important thing for me is the friendship... I am in a weird kind of relationship with someone special that lives in England and I live here on this icecube... we have a good relationship, I trust him with all my heart and I love him... but it can be hard sometimes because of the distance between us. That's why I think the friendship is worth alot.

Care. Eir

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With best regards from the dark corners of my twisted mind

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/28/2006 2:14:22 PM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		There was a time I thought Love was trust, caring, communication, mutual likes/dislikes, harmony, physical attraction and respect. 

I learned I was wrong

There was a time I thought that Love in BDSM relationship was trust, caring, communication, mutual likes/dislikes, harmony, physical attraction and respect.

Again I was wrong.

What make for a loving BDSM relationship?  I'm clueless.  Perhaps it is when two people of gene pools meet and there is just something about the other that speaks that they would be a good person to partner with and to reproduce with, even though many of us no longer wish to reproduce.

Or maybe it is simply pheremones? 

How can you catch a whisper on the wind?  I don't think there is a person on this planet that can describe love.  Love within a BDSM relationship is probably no different, though I could be wrong there as well.

The older I get, the less I know.  And, for the record, I don't have Alzheimer's yet.

Sunshine


_____________________________


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 60
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