RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship?

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 8/30/2006 5:27:36 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
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R-E-S-P-E-C-T, pure and simple. A relationship between a dominant and a slave where mutual respect flows naturally, as each lives up to his/her obligations, is a recipe for long-term success. Because I have immense respect for toy as a person and a slave, I am even more comfortable sharing with her who and what I am, good and bad.

If you've never been in a relationship where you can fully relax and just be, then I'm not certain it's possible to explain how profoundly different it is. Rocks my world sums it up nicely.

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 9/11/2006 6:08:12 AM

totalservant

Posts: 32
Joined: 7/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

quote:

ORIGINAL: OriginalWench

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

Pumpkin ice cream.

Jeff

Ooh, if I weren't already head over heels... I'd SO offer to take you up on that! I love pumpkin ice cream.

Poo, now I'm gonna hafta go get some tomorrow.

Wow. Someone called me on my point.

I grew up in the suburbs of Cincinnati. My parents had relatives (which means I suppose I had the same relatives) in Middletown, OH. There was a mom-and-pop ice cream store that they visited once or twice that I recall. Eaton's or something like that. Started with an 'E'.

Never, not once, have I seen pumpkin ice cream since I was in single-digits. I'm 45 now.

(It rather makes you wonder why I offered that up in my response, hmm?)

Jeff

They still have it in Cincinnati...try Aglemesis

:)

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 9/11/2006 6:45:56 AM

MasterRobert1

Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
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"Being in tune" is a good way to put it. Personally, I think that their kinks have to mesh. I'll give you an excellent example of what I'm talking about. I know a newbie Dom who's fantasy/needs is to have a sub who wants to be hurt and actually is willing to BEG for him to hurt her. However, the sub he has recently met and is interested in has a very deep need to be forced into being submissive. Now, in lots of ways they have a great deal in common and seem to be compatible. Similar interests (BDSM wise), et cetera. However, they can't quite get things to work between them and they don't understand why. Biggest obstacle is, they have trouble talking about their needs to one another. They can discuss it with someone like me (which is why I know and understand where their problem stems from), but they find it impossible to expose that part of thmselves to one another.
So, in naswer to your questions: kinks that mesh with one another, and the ability to communicate. That I think is what makes for a loving, happy relationship.

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 9/11/2006 8:59:26 AM

Mavis

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Joined: 2/8/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I beat my head against a wall for hours trying to come up with 'em, and some days are just plain better than others, ....

Susan, is that really true or was it a joke? If it's really true, you mind if i ask... why? i guess i don't come up with questions just to ask questions, only if i have something i actually want to know. But if you truly enjoy asking questions just for the sake of stimulating discussion, there are companies that contract "board seeders" which CM has hired, maybe you should (or do) work for one of them?

quote:

ORIGINAL msyrjx

Pumpkin ice cream.

i make my own. also do a mean cookies and cream recipe too.

To answer the OP though.. it's been said we don't fall in love with a person, we fall in love with how we feel about ourselves when we're with that person. i think that can cover for relationships that aren't romantic love as well... i really like a good boss that makes me feel like an excellent employee. i like a lover that makes me feel like a good lover.. i like to dance with someone that makes me feel like a good dancer... i love hubby most when He makes me feel like the best wife in the world.. so i guess it's all about me. <grins>

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 9/11/2006 11:59:28 AM

jesskitty

Posts: 185
Joined: 9/4/2006
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even though we all describe it sometimes specifically different i think everyone has basics of what makes a good loving relationship be it kink filled or not which is communicat, honesty, willingness to understand and accept the person fully(can be a learning process) and having the ability to roll with the punches together.

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 9/11/2006 1:30:58 PM

thisishis

Posts: 278
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: Southeastern MA
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i can't choose just one thing.

If i choose 'communication' ... that's not enough by itself.
i need respect too. Otherwise my opinions wouldn't mean much in any conversation, nor would His.

If i choose 'love', it's not enough either.
i need compatability too. i'd been in love before, and without mutual interests and a sense of 'one-ness' felt, the love failed to grow ... the relationships died slow deaths due to lack of nurishment.

my answer is that there is not any one thing that makes for a loving BDSM relationship.
Two people (or more, if poly), who have between them, good communication, respect, trust, honor, unconditional love, compatability & dedication is what it takes ... for my Master and i.

P.S. Forgot to add ... obedience, for Him .. from me. VERY important in this relationship.

< Message edited by thisishis -- 9/11/2006 1:32:45 PM >

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 9/11/2006 2:30:18 PM

donrob

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/10/2006
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Easy one this Love then Trust (oops that two things).

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 9/11/2006 2:49:00 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
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Pumpkin ice cream is alive and well (so to speak) in Western PA and Western NY as well.

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RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relatio... - 9/11/2006 3:17:45 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship?

Loving the person (and being loved by the person) with whom you are in a BDSM relationship I think is one thing that helps a lot... Assuming of course you love as a result of you two communicating well verbally/intellectually, physically, emotional/spiritually. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 9/11/2006 3:18:22 PM >

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