RE: Cynical assumptions. (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message


Aine -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 7:21:31 AM)

*stands up and applauds*

I couldn't have said it any better.  Being a bisexual switch, apparently to some I'm all sortsa confused.


Quite happy the way I am, thanks.




HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 7:31:29 AM)

I have seen more than a few women on this site who also have both a Dom and sub profile.  One reason people do this is that not many people look at "Switch" profiles.  I see nothing wrong with it, as long as the person doing it isn't pretending to be two different people.

I myself have considered making three profiles, one Dom, one sub and one switch.  The main reason I haven't is because I can't send e-mail and have been through several different screen names trying to fix the problem without success.  If I were to create the other two profiles, however, I would explain about them and put links to the others in each of them.




RavenMuse -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 7:48:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle
I have seen more than a few women on this site who also have both a Dom and sub profile.  One reason people do this is that not many people look at "Switch" profiles.  I see nothing wrong with it, as long as the person doing it isn't pretending to be two different people.


I must be a rarity then. I have my search settings on 'any' for orientation, but limit it by what they are seeking (Dom Male). That way I get fem slave, fem sub and fem switch as well as the occassional rather confused fem domme showing up in My search.






Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 8:51:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle
I have seen more than a few women on this site who also have both a Dom and sub profile.  One reason people do this is that not many people look at "Switch" profiles.  I see nothing wrong with it, as long as the person doing it isn't pretending to be two different people.


I must be a rarity then. I have my search settings on 'any' for orientation, but limit it by what they are seeking (Dom Male). That way I get fem slave, fem sub and fem switch as well as the occassional rather confused fem domme showing up in My search.





I limit my search options by setting it to "99 year old women,weighing less than 100 pounds in uzbekistan." And just play in the forums instead.[:D]




WhipTheHip -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 8:55:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250
Whip, no I don't think that's impossable at all.  But you get some in here and
elsewhere who are "purists" I call them; "there's only one way to do it" people.


Thank you, Popeye.  I've said this before, and I will say it again. 
Every group is controlled by the most fanatical members of
the group.  This is true for Democrats, Republicans, Christians,
Muslims, atheists, animal rights groups, vegetarians, enviromental
groups, developers, etc,  Every group has their own ayotollahs,
and party purity police, their own Taliban who insist on some
extreme. 
 
The extremists are more active, more vocal, and more forceful. 
So people who tend to have a more balanced position or view
tend to be identified with the opposition.  There is an "either-or
mentality."  Either you are this way, or you are that way, you
can't be both this way and that way.  Either you are for this
or you are against this.   This is called the doughnut fallacy.  
But a large number of people think there are only two sides
to every issue, that if something is not black, it must be white.  
 
Reality tends to be analog, spectrum and continuum, rather
than digital and quantum.  Fuzzy logic is more appropriate for
most real problems than binary logic.  I disliked Bill Clinton, but
he understood the concept of fuzzy logic.  Conservatives tend 
to use binary logic.  "Either he lied under oath or he didn't." 
"Either he was a criminal or he wasn't." "Every lie under oath
is perjury and must be treated like every other lie under oath." 
"The vote was counted two times."
 
Liberals tend to see every person as an individual, and
do not make any inferences based on the larger class
that person may belong to.  Conservatives tend to see
every person first as a member of some class of people,
and secondly as an individual.  So, conservatives are
more likely to miss the fact that someone is different
in some major way from the class of people they belong
to. And liberals are more likely not to draw any probabilities
about an unknown person from the larger class of people
they belong to.
 
In other words conservatives tend to over-use generalizations,
and liberals tend to underuse generalizations.  The liberal
airport screener may not take a closer look at young, male 
Muslims even though they are more likely to likely to be
terrorists than old, female, Buddhists.  A conservative
airport screener may ignore all old, female Buddhists under
the false presumption that an old, female, Buddhist can't be
a terrorist.
 
I used to manage a hotel on Miami Beach.  At first I rented
to everybody, and gave everyone the benefit of the doubt.
Then I discovered I almost always ran into problems with
certain types of person.  For example, everytime I had to
eject a low-income, young, black, male from the hotel for not
paying their bill, they would almost always become physically
violent.  A lot of times, I would have never guessed this person
would become violent from my first lengthy interview with them.
A lot of people have the ability to change their personality from
friendly to hostile in the blink of an eye when things don't go
their way.

I didn't have security, so every time this occurred, my physical
safety was put at risk.  The police had little interest in helping
me.  So, I reached a point where I became very, very selective
when young, low-income, black males wanted to rent a room. 
 
On the other hand, the two best friends I have ever had in life
were both black guests who lived at this hotel.  Both kept
to themselves. I only got to know each of them after quite
some time.  From their apparance and their superficial behavior,
I never would have guessed their true nature.  They were both
the kindest, nicest, gentlest people I have ever met.

I don't believe in astrology, but those who do ought to be able
to figure out my astrological sign.  It is my ideal, what I strive for. 




mistoferin -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 8:57:52 AM)

ummmmm.....I didn't see anyone say that it IS impossible. So who are all of these extremist party purity police you are referring to?




onestandingstill -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 9:07:48 AM)

Hi WhipTheHip,
You know I've been reading your posts for some time. I've agreed with most words you've written. This thread really gets me upset with your words here. I think just because your relations with Dommes has formed a negative opinion of them in your opinion. To lump all Dommes into a negative category is beneath you & quite unbecoming. I also think to generalize no male sub should want to be thinking they can have a long term commitment that's good for them with a DOMME is just bogus.
I know several male subs in long term (more than 7 year)  healthy relationships with wonderful Dommes.
Remember your opinion and perspective is yours personally. Don't be generalizing what others paths should be based on yours. You know better than that don't you????
Suzanne




Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 9:10:07 AM)

 

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

Hi WhipTheHip,
You know I've been reading your posts for some time. I've agreed with most words you've written. This thread really gets me upset with your words here. I think just because your relations with Dommes has formed a negative opinion of them in your opinion. To lump all Dommes into a negative category is beneath you & quite unbecoming. I also think to generalize no male sub should want to be thinking they can have a long term commitment that's good for them with a DOMME is just bogus.
I know several male subs in long term (more than 7 year)  healthy relationships with wonderful Dommes.
Remember your opinion and perspective is yours personally. Don't be generalizing what others paths should be based on yours. You know better than that don't you????
Suzanne


Is there such a thing as cynical altruism? (re WTH)

I'm confused![:)]




raiken -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 9:15:22 AM)

It all comes down to knowing myself and going after what i believe i need and desire to live content and fulfilled.  No one else can define me better than i can.  No one else can live my life for me. For each individual, there is an individual perspective.  Folks can learn to accept that as reality, or try to assert, or bully their view onto others.  We have the choice to waste time in debating over who has the "right" view, or we have the choice to move on and spend our time doing something more valuable for ourselves.




Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 9:16:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: raiken

It all comes down to knowing myself and going after what i believe i need and desire to live content and fulfilled.  No one else can define me better than i can.  No one else can live my life for me. For each individual, there is an individual perspective.  Folks can learn to accept that as reality, or try to assert, or bully their view onto others.  We have the choice to waste time in debating over who has the "right" view, or we have the choice to move on and spend our time doing something more valuable for ourselves.


I'd rather try to understand people than make then be me. One is too much already!




mountainpet -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 9:18:05 AM)

I don't understand why this is a problem.  If lesbians don't want to get involved with men, or with bisexual women, don't they have this right?  It seems to me that the category of "switch" was created for those people who can play in either role- so if I'm looking for such a person, I would look in the switch category.  If I'm looking for a dominant, then I might not want someone who is submissive. 




Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 9:23:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mountainpet

I don't understand why this is a problem.  If lesbians don't want to get involved with men, or with bisexual women, don't they have this right?  It seems to me that the category of "switch" was created for those people who can play in either role- so if I'm looking for such a person, I would look in the switch category.  If I'm looking for a dominant, then I might not want someone who is submissive. 


That was pretty much the initial question in twicehappie's thread. It wasn't so much about being cynical, as having clear prefferences. Someone who put down everything would confuse me. Which, if I WERE looking would put me off.

To my way of thinking, it comes off as "anything will do"

Which makes the motivations questionable to me. I'm not an item on a menu.




juliaoceania -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 9:35:18 AM)

I was wondering Whip, when your religion gets underway and you have many converts, what strategy do you plan to employ as to control this One True Wayishness that exists in ALL groups, since it is you that developed the religion, do you plan on mapping the One True Way for those who plan on following you? Just curious...




Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 9:39:09 AM)

Jesus had all sorts of altruistic intents as well. What his followers have done with it since then have been rather a mixed bag. It's never as easy as one imagines.




NastyDaddy -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 9:39:16 AM)

It seems progress was somewhat made regarding "your kink is not my kink"... only to immediately hit an impasse regarding "your criterion are not my criterion". Is this one step forward and two steps back, or is ir two steps forward and one step back? Albeit confused, my feets are moving!




raiken -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 9:40:20 AM)

If the "anything will do" profile doesn't float my boat, then i move on and find something that will.  Those who have these type of profiles must have their reasons, too numerous to list. Maybe they want to "sample" the variety, who knows? What is the big deal, there is plenty of variety out there, if i don't resonate with a profile, i move on.  To each their own.  There are those who just simply like playing the mind games, sometimes i am in the mood to engage them and respond back, to burn off some mental stress and just for a bit of play.  Sometimes i am serious and tell them where to get off, that is the choice we have and the risk we all take when perusing and contacting others online. *grin Sometimes i am just so damn amused by some of these profiles! *grin




Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 9:41:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy

It seems progress was somewhat made regarding "your kink is not my kink"... only to immediately hit an impasse regarding "your criterion are not my criterion". Is this one step forward and two steps back, or is ir two steps forward and one step back? Albeit confused, my feets are moving!


I'll be really confused when the sidestepping commences.[:D]




Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 9:44:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: raiken

If the "anything will do" profile doesn't float my boat, then i move on and find something that will.  Those who have these type of profiles must have their reasons, too numerous to list. Maybe they want to "sample" the variety, who knows? What is the big deal, there is plenty of variety out there, if i don't resonate with a profile, i move on.  To each their own.  There are those who just simply like playing the mind games, sometimes i am in the mood to engage them and respond back, to burn off some mental stress and just for a bit of play.  Sometimes i am serious and tell them where to get off, that is the choice we have and the risk we all take when perusing and contacting others online. *grin Sometimes i am just so damn amused by some of these profiles! *grin


Eh, it doesn't really matter to me.  I've yet to see a profile express much I find to be of any interest. Not many uberkinked artist girls with a rational world view out there.

Fantasy is fun,but it has to stand on reality to survive long. And the ability to face it seems in rather short supply here.
It's like bdsm is some sort of wierd escape drug.

Not at all my thing.




WhipTheHip -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 10:11:59 AM)

Hi Suzzane,

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill
Hi WhipTheHip, You know I've been reading your posts for some time.

I've agreed with most words you've written. This thread really gets me
upset with your words here. I think just because your relations with
Dommes has formed a negative opinion of them in your opinion. To
lump all Dommes into a negative category is beneath you & quite
unbecoming.


I apologize for not making myself clear.  I would
never lump everyone from any group into a
negative category.  I always keep an open mind.
I never prejudge anyone I haven't met in person.
I am quick to admit, I've not known any non-pro
dommes.  Though, I do have a lot of female friends
who are not into bdsm or D/s, who have VERY
dominant, controling personalities.   They are
friends with me because few other people would
put up with them.   But even I can only take so
much of any person who is VERY dominant. 
 
When I use the word "dominant" what I mean are
people who almost always  insist on things being
done their way, people who are by their very nature
controlling and uncompromising.   I dislike conflict
and confrontation.   I am a very, very easy-going
person.  ***Most*** dominant people mistake
my easy-going nature for submissiveness, and
try to force their will on me or try to take advantage
of me.   I am peculiar in that the more a person tries
to force their will on me or take advantage of me 
the more I fight back.  Though, I do have a weakness
for attrative females. 
 
> I also think to generalize no male sub should want to be thinking they
> can have a long term commitment that's good for them with a DOMME
> is just bogus.
 
I can only speak for myself.  Everyone is different.

> I know several male subs in long term (more than 7 year)  healthy
> relationships with wonderful Dommes.

Would it surprise if I said, this doesn't surprise me one bit.  I am
sure there are a lot of submissive males and a lot of wonderful
Dommes.   I once took bite out of a brussel sprout, and found it
was filled with insects.  After that, I couldn't eat brussel sprouts
for a long, long time.   Even though I knew most brussel sprouts
do not have insects in them, I lost my taste for brussel sprouts.
I have to admit that the dominant females I have met in my life
have left a bad taste in my mouth.  This is no reflection on those
I haven't met, but it has made me very wary.  People that are too
one-sided eventually grate on my nerves.

> Remember your opinion and perspective is yours personally.

I agree 100%.  I am well aware my opinion and perspective
are almost always in the minority.

> Don't be generalizing what others paths should be based on yours.

I never do.  For some reason whenever I state my opinion and
feelings on a subject a lot of people think I am telling others
what they should do.  This is seldom the case.
 
Warmest and kindest regards,
Michael




popeye1250 -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/30/2006 10:43:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

*stands up and applauds*

I couldn't have said it any better.  Being a bisexual switch, apparently to some I'm all sortsa confused.


Quite happy the way I am, thanks.



Aine, (Beautiful Irish name by the way) a Bi-Sexual Switch.
My hat is off to you! You can have fun Anywhere!  With anyone! lol




Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875