RE: Cynical assumptions.

RE: Cynical assumptions. (Full Version)

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Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 7:05:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO You want me to treat you that way? Really? That sounds so sweet (truly) but - you better think it through...because this means, WhiptheHip - that we have to get married, so I can work 60-80 hour work-weeks, and treat you like you don't exist when I do come home. And when I am home, I get to spend all of my time either on the computer or in my workshop, making metal stuff nobody else needs or understands. And NO SEX - ever. No hugs or kisses, either. Okay? [:D] - Susan Perks up, you make metal stuff?

juliaoceania -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 7:06:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO You want me to treat you that way? Really? That sounds so sweet (truly) but - you better think it through...because this means, WhiptheHip - that we have to get married, so I can work 60-80 hour work-weeks, and treat you like you don't exist when I do come home. And when I am home, I get to spend all of my time either on the computer or in my workshop, making metal stuff nobody else needs or understands. And NO SEX - ever. No hugs or kisses, either. Okay? [:D] - Susan I guess he could get pregnant and cheated on and abandoned with 5 dollars in his pocket with an infant.. Gosh Susan... that was cute!

SusanofO -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 7:12:59 AM)
I'm not sadistic, in particular. But you said your fantasy was to be treated however a submissive who felt she'd "survived" something had been treated. It might not sound that bad, but the No Sex part can really get old (but - I don't want to whine on about that again). I know you might need a "Pro" for sex once in awhile, though. I am just teasin' ya - and not trying to be a meanie in any way (I haven't got a sadisitic bone in my body, actually). I just saw a show on tv about women who marry prisoners. I am not sure what the motivatons are, except the need to be needed in an intense way. I can't judge it - if it works for them, great. I hope nobody ends up dead via doing that, though. For the innocent who are in prison (and some really are there) I imagine it's a Godsend. - Susan

SusanofO -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 7:17:35 AM)
julia: What a great ex-husband! [:'(]Yeah - he'll never know what he really lost. Good riddance to the loser, I say. WhiptheHip - you are gonna wonder what you started about 10 posts from now. Women are gonna be writing you all day, now - be careful what you wish for, sweetie! [:D] Either you are a closet genius, or a real empathic guy I do think you are), or just looking for extra creative scenes...now you are gonna hear all of the "women's tales of woe" - which they deserve to let off their chest. Go get yourself some nachos and a cola, or something, and sit back - because this could get interesting for you... - Susan

twicehappy -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 7:18:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip Nor do I see anything wrong with someone pretending to be two different people. I think one person can be two different people. I think some people have a wide range of behavior how they interact with others. I can think of a lot of reasons not to do this; dishonesty, deception, deceitfulness are only a few words that pop into mind. You can either show and admit to all the facets of your personality to a perspective partner thereby cementing the trust between you or you can be deceptive and wait for the axe to fall. quote: I can understand why you might have two profiles, and not let subs know you can be submissive and not let dommes know you can be dominant. So you would start off a new relationship with lies? And what happens when your partner discovers these lies? Or you decide you want to act dom for awhile when they thought you were totally a sub during the time you have known one another? When did trust cease being the cornerstone of WIITWD? Or in any relationship for that matter?

SusanofO -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 7:20:23 AM)
Homestead: No, my husband spent a lot of time in his workshop making things out of metal. Sometimes, they were custom parts for his work with computers (he was an electrical engineer). Sometimes, he made stuff that looked like it could be furniture, but I was never really too sure. He never told me much about it, and when I did inquire, he acted like he wished I'd leave him alone, so I did. And I already know the "no sex" part might not be a huge problem - for you, so that's a plus (if this is your fantasy, too). I don't know if I could hold out for that part twice in a life-time, though. Not for fifteen more years, anyway. My husband once made a "wardrobe" from metal that was truly ugly, and then de-faced our downstairs Den with it, so he wouldn't have to go upstairs for his clothes in the morning, if he fell asleep on the main floor, reading. He was creative, though. He just didn't have an eye for color or aesthetics. Once I asked if I could paint the metal wardrobe brown, so it would look more like furniture, and he laughed at me, and said "No". - Susan

twicehappy -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 7:22:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bignipples2share It's just the slap on the wrist (or kick in the head) that seems to be given, by some people, to people who want to be topped in this manner. They're told they're wrong for thinking this, or that the dominate bottom is wrong and they should dump these thoughts and the dominate bottom who are ruining them. tsk tsk I agree, while my kink may not be your kink in a lot of cases, i do not believe in disparaging anybody's personal tastes. I was only questioning the why of the profiles i mentioned.

Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 7:26:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO Homestead: No, my husband spent a lot of time in his workshop making things out of metal. Sometimes, they were custom parts for his work with computers (he was an electrical engineer). Sometimes, he made stuff that looked like it could be furniture, but I was never really too sure. He never told me much about it, and when I did inquire, he acted like he wished I'd leave him alone, so I did. He made a "wardrobe" from metal that was truly ugly, and then de-faced our downstairs Den with it, so he wouldn't have to go upstairs for his clothes in the morning, if he fell asleep in the Den, reading. He was creative, though. He just didn't have an eye for color or aesthetics. Once I asked if I could paint the metal wardrobe brown, so it would look more like furniture, and he laughed at me, and said "No". - Susan Ahh, how sad. I would have tried to get you interested in my art, were I him. It's always more fun to do with one you care about.

SusanofO -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 7:35:17 AM)
Well, he was a very introverted guy. I appreciate your sympathy, though (truly). - Susan

Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 7:39:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO Well, he was a very introverted guy. I appreciate your sympathy, thoguh (truly). - Susan I'm somewhat of an introvert myself, but only in defense. I like to be able to pick and choose those I allow near me. I have been with social butterflies in the past, and it didn't work out. Mostly because they insisted on hanging out in places with people who simply annoyed me to no end. So with myself, it is more about desiring a harmonious enviornment. But I'd never cut myself off from my intimate parnter, it makes no sense.[&:]

SusanofO -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 7:45:12 AM)
Homestead: Most mentally healthy people would not cut themselves off from the total rest of humanity, I agree. I think he just spent so much time juggling with others' personalities at work to get the job done (which can be difficult for an introvert - I am one, too, so I know this to be true) - that it wore him out, and he had little energy left for anyone else (but that's really me cutting him some slack). Nobody ever believes I am an introvert, though, because I fake it so well being an extrovert - I had to for work, for a long time. So I did. Now it's just part of me. - Susan

gooddogbenji -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 8:05:30 AM)
Alright, people, if I may interject: WhiptheHip either does not read, or does not understand, or does not WANT to understand, posts of others and his own. I have been quite entertained by him, saying that someone cannot be entirely Dom or sub, based on his switchability. I was also entertained by his very nice generalization that all conservatives see classes, and all liberals see people. I was rolling on the floor when he decided that communication was tough, because words mean different things, because I knew he was reading our posts backwards, upsidedown, and translated from English to Russian to German to Hindu to Chinese then back to English. All in all it has been entertaining. Although I will say that I like the new girl, Aine. Welcome aboard! Yours, benji

Jasmyn -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 8:12:19 AM)
lol Benji & welcome Aine [:)]

raiken -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 8:57:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: twicehappy quote: ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip Nor do I see anything wrong with someone pretending to be two different people. I think one person can be two different people. I think some people have a wide range of behavior how they interact with others. I can think of a lot of reasons not to do this; dishonesty, deception, deceitfulness are only a few words that pop into mind. You can either show and admit to all the facets of your personality to a perspective partner thereby cementing the trust between you or you can be deceptive and wait for the axe to fall. Just a thought on this...some people don't know how to connect all of their different facets together. Some walk around very disconnected in certain areas, and haven't found a way to integrate nicely. So they split themselves up at times when different moods and mindsets come upon them. In that instant they only can relate to that part of themselves, and are not multi-relational with their other parts. Each part seeks to be validated and fulfilled. Some folks can only show or admit the different facets if they are truly aware of them and have integrated and made themselves whole. Some are innocent and not out to deceive, but maybe are going through something deep and need time to heal and so this is their outlet. i believe there is a fine line of demarcation between what one person thinks is fine to do in this area, verses what another feels is deceptive. Some know of no other way to express themselves, for many varied reasons. Some have fears of rejection, or other variables in this area, so they hide behind different profiles. Some are just finding themselves, and others are truly sick pervy's! *smile Others just need time to see where they truly fit, so they try being everything in hopes to find out more about themselves and about others. Some folks need to discover how other folks see them, or how they would like to be seen. Some are truly seeking to become that, so they feel safe to test the waters online and on cm with multiple profiles. Some just need the extra outlets for a time. Some just feel it is okay to have multi profiles, and connect in this way with others. For a time maybe they may not want the other facets of themselves revealed, perhaps until they feel more safe. i don't see this as an attempt to blantantly deceive, but just the need or desire to focus on that one part with certain folks, or just attract those who know how to stay focused on that one part also. Folks make other profiles to attract other type of folks when they need it. Just people learning about themselves and other people as i see it. Of course there are always those who are simply here to engage in games, and just to mess with folks, the playas, etc., shame on us if we get caught up in that! LOL! In my talking and sharing with others on cm, i have found there are many reasons folks have for multiple profiles and they are not all that cut and dry. They are not all dishonest and created with mal intentions to specifically deceive. i have friends who have multiple profiles, and i do understand their reasons. For myself i am fine with one, it works for me. Just adding an abstract thought to the mix.

Aine -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 9:05:59 AM)
(Prepare for a barrage of posts giggle) Danke Benji! [sm=lol.gif]

Aine -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 9:07:21 AM)
[:)] Danke jasmyn

gooddogbenji -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 9:08:12 AM)
Aber jetzt halt! Sprichst Du Deutsch? Yours, benji

popeye1250 -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 9:12:33 AM)
Yes Aine, looks like Whip's going to be showing his submissive side for a while.

Aine -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 9:13:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: raiken Just a thought on this...some people don't know how to connect all of their different facets together. Some walk around very disconnected in certain areas, and haven't found a way to integrate nicely. So they split themselves up at times when different moods and mindsets come upon them. In that instant they only can relate to that part of themselves, and are not multi-relational with their other parts. Each part seeks to be validated and fulfilled. Some folks can only show or admit the different facets if they are truly aware of them and have integrated and made themselves whole. Some are innocent and not out to deceive, but maybe are going through something deep and need time to heal and so this is their outlet. i believe there is a fine line of demarcation between what one person thinks is fine to do in this area, verses what another feels is deceptive. Some know of no other way to express themselves, for many varied reasons. Some have fears of rejection, or other variables in this area, so they hide behind different profiles. Some are just finding themselves, and others are truly sick pervy's! *smile Others just need time to see where they truly fit, so they try being everything in hopes to find out more about themselves and about others. Some folks need to discover how other folks see them, or how they would like to be seen. Some are truly seeking to become that, so they feel safe to test the waters online and on cm with multiple profiles. Some just need the extra outlets for a time. Some just feel it is okay to have multi profiles, and connect in this way with others. For a time maybe they may not want the other facets of themselves revealed, perhaps until they feel more safe. i don't see this as an attempt to blantantly deceive, but just the need or desire to focus on that one part with certain folks, or just attract those who know how to stay focused on that one part also. Folks make other profiles to attract other type of folks when they need it. Just people learning about themselves and other people as i see it. Of course there are always those who are simply here to engage in games, and just to mess with folks, the playas, etc., shame on us if we get caught up in that! LOL! In my talking and sharing with others on cm, i have found there are many reasons folks have for multiple profiles and they are not all that cut and dry. They are not all dishonest and created with mal intentions to specifically deceive. i have friends who have multiple profiles, and i do understand their reasons. For myself i am fine with one, it works for me. Just adding an abstract thought to the mix. Amen, sista! I wholeheartedly agree that some people have a hard time showing every single, itsy, bitsy piece of themselves to any one person at any given time. It's not being deceptive. It's being self-confused. Or something I like to call "shy". I, myself have been an extremely shy person in my lifetime. I'm not all that shy anymore, but there are times around certain people (generally upon first meeting) that I am still pretty darned shy. Sometimes I'm in a mood and a person who meets me for the first time might see a slightly cynical, sassy girl, when those that know me, know me for a sweet and caring person. Does that mean I'm being deceiptful? Hell fucking no.

Aine -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 9:15:09 AM)
And mind you, those are some of the most basic of examples here. I really if left to my own devices, could come up with a much more in depth and long ass response of examples. But I've not had my coffee yet, so I won't.

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