RE: Cynical assumptions.

RE: Cynical assumptions. (Full Version)

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Aine -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 9:16:50 AM)
Unfortunately my repertoire for German has been limited to Danke and Bitte, since I've stopped learning from a friend about 5 years ago. Though, I am looking back into it just for kicks.

gooddogbenji -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 9:18:58 AM)
If you want, I can teach you some German in exchange for some French.... LOL Yours, benji

Aine -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 9:20:35 AM)
[sm=tongue.gif] rofl

GddssBella -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (8/31/2006 9:30:32 PM)
G'evening all: For benji; I've taken the liberty of doing the translations for you. Note Hindu was not available, used French instead. My software does not support Chinese characters... yet. Enjoy. "Good persons, if I can throw:, despite the WhiptheHip does not read that is to say, that is to say he, does not include that or IT WOULD NOT WANT includes, the posts other and. I have been maintained enough from, I speak that partial one cannot be adversely in the kacedrjko' temple or a Unterseeboot, based in switchability. I have been maintained also by his generalisation a lot prachtvolle that all conservateurs this see types and all liberal persons seeing. I have rolled I collect in the cover, if he that it has untied that the communication was trahja', because words forecast on the contrary in the thing, because this I have known, has read this our posts THIS, upsidedown, and later has been presented the return in general this russe in Germany in the Hindu in Chinese later this in the English, this were that this has maintained. Even if i that the new girl of virus loves, says groin. Well it grants in pinakj'da! This, benji" Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others... [:D] Bella

twicehappy -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 3:36:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aine I wholeheartedly agree that some people have a hard time showing every single, itsy, bitsy piece of themselves to any one person at any given time. It's not being deceptive. It's being self-confused. Or something I like to call "shy". I, myself have been an extremely shy person in my lifetime. I'm not all that shy anymore, but there are times around certain people (generally upon first meeting) that I am still pretty darned shy. Sometimes I'm in a mood and a person who meets me for the first time might see a slightly cynical, sassy girl, when those that know me, know me for a sweet and caring person. Does that mean I'm being deceiptful? Hell fucking no. What you are talking about is normal human behavior which is worlds apart from what was originally being discussed; that is the purposeful deception of a partner. I think everybody has their moods and different reactions to situations and whom they are with. To me that is normal not deceitful. What i was calling deceitful that raiken responded to was the purposeful deception of a partner i.e. you have a profile as a sub and a seperate one as a domme, you meet a dom who thinks you are a sub, you enter into a relationship with this person never telling them you also like to dom on occasion, six months down the road they discover this either accidentally or because suddenly you feel like topping for a change, a facet of yourself you deliberately kept from this person. Put yourself in their shoes, wouldn't you be hurt or confused? PS, watch out for the mangy leg humping rug wetting mutt. (See Benji i never once mentioned how cute or smart you were, go get her boy.)

twicehappy -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 4:08:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: raiken they only can relate to that part of themselves, and are not multi-relational with their other parts. Each part seeks to be validated and fulfilled. Some folks can only show or admit the different facets if they are truly aware of them and have integrated and made themselves whole. Some are innocent and not out to deceive, but maybe are going through something deep and need time to heal and so this is their outlet. Some have fears of rejection, or other variables in this area, so they hide behind different profiles. Some are just finding themselves, and others are truly sick pervy's! smile Others just need time to see where they truly fit, so they try being everything in hopes to find out more about themselves and about others. I have no issue with those who are exploring or unsure of themselves; my issue is only if they are not upfront with any potential partner that this is what they are doing.* I have in the past contacted some who after we spoke were quite honest about the fact that were really not sure where they fit or what role they really enjoyed in the lifestyle. I always offered any assistance, open friendship, and thanks for their honesty. Of those who accepted this I can honestly say two took me up on it and after many conversations about how they lived and what they enjoyed were helped to a better understanding of themselves and what they were seeking. One ended up discovering they were a dominant who liked to bottom occasionally and is now exploring the lifestyle with greater confidence than they possessed before. And we both made a new friend. quote: Just people learning about themselves and other people as i see it. Of course there are always those who are simply here to engage in games, and just to mess with folks, the playas, etc., shame on us if we get caught up in that! LOL! These are the ones I have an issue with; how can any human being with a modicum of conscience justify to themselves purposefully practicing out right deception in order to obtain the relationship they want? Don't they stop and ask themselves what it is going to do to their partner who went into this relationship not knowing the other side of them? Do they not consider what kind of hurt or damage they do to another when a few months into an apparently working relationship of one type they discover that no you are not really , say all subbie, you are also wanting to dom? When they have no interest in being subbie and went into this believing you were a subbie because you lied to them? Are people's emotions that disposable? Is it really ok to use another human being in this manner making your justification you were only getting to know yourself or you were to shy or embarrased to mention such an important fact? Constantly in any an every source of information on WIITWD you will find the statements over and over that HONESTY along with open communication is essential to any and every facet of BDSM every step of the way from play to a serious D/s commitment; so how any one can advocate deceit is beyond me.

WhipTheHip -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:10:16 AM)
quote: Isn't it possible for different females to bring out different sides of a guy? Can't dominant females bring out the submissive side of a guy, and submissive females bring out their dominant side. Is this so hard to understand? I guess it must be. > Only if it is there to BE brought out. YOU seem to think that people have problems with switches... I guess you missed the thread I was responding to as to why someone might have two profiles, one as a dom, the other as a sub, and might be seeking a domme in one profile and a sub in another.

WhipTheHip -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:11:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: Isn't it possible for different females to bring out different sides of a guy? Can't dominant females bring out the submissive side of a guy, and submissive females bring out their dominant side. Is this so hard to understand? I guess it must be. By listening to so many of your comments, I would have to conclude I was a faker. Yes, we call this being a switch. There are a couple of submissive type men that I find appealing personality wise on this board myself...If I was looking it might be tempting to consider switching for some that are like these, but alas, I do not think it would work for me. I haven't seen anyone calling switches "fakes". I guess you missed the thread I was responding to as to why someone might have two profiles, one as a dom, the other as a sub, and might be seeking a domme in one profile and a sub in another.

Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:12:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip quote: Isn't it possible for different females to bring out different sides of a guy? Can't dominant females bring out the submissive side of a guy, and submissive females bring out their dominant side. Is this so hard to understand? I guess it must be. > Only if it is there to BE brought out. YOU seem to think that people have problems with switches... I guess you missed the thread I was responding to as to why someone might have two profiles, one as a dom, the other as a sub, and might be seeking a domme in one profile and a sub in another. The honest thing to do would be to call yourself a switch and have ONE profile.

SusanofO -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:15:27 AM)
Homestead: Probably it would be, I agree, but - I can imagine there might be people who honestly don't think about doing that. Maybe they will read this thread and do it? - Susan

Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:17:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO Homestead: Probably it would be, I agree, but - I can imagine there might be people who honestly don't think about doing that. Maybe they will read this thread and do it? - Susan Trust is a key issue here. Being duplicitous by having multiple and conflicting profiles is a really great way to screw yourself, if and when a potential partner finds out what you have done.

SusanofO -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:20:15 AM)
I know that, and you know that. I am not trying to sound arrogant (I am not arrogant) but - if you haven't noticed, there are some people out there who are don't have their lightbulbs turned on all the time, shall we say. - Susan

Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:22:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO I know that, and you know that. I am not trying to sound arrogant (I am not arrogant) but - if you haven't noticed, there are some people out there who are don't have their lightbulbs turned on all the time, shall we say. - Susan Oh, you mean stupid? [:D] Not really my issue, I avoid those.

SusanofO -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:23:58 AM)
Well, maybe - but I am trying to be diplomatic about coming out and saying it out-right I guess, yes. Some people can act stupidly, or are actually stupid. But - I do think there are poeple who just do things because they don't honestly realize what the ramifications could be because they aren't very "familiar with the bdsm realm", too. I remember learning a lot of new vocabulary, for example, when I first started investigating bdsm. And there is so much I still don't know. I don't think that makes me stupid, necessarily - just uninformed. There is a difference, I think. - Susan

darkinshadows -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:24:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Homestead quote: ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip quote: Isn't it possible for different females to bring out different sides of a guy? Can't dominant females bring out the submissive side of a guy, and submissive females bring out their dominant side. Is this so hard to understand? I guess it must be. > Only if it is there to BE brought out. YOU seem to think that people have problems with switches... I guess you missed the thread I was responding to as to why someone might have two profiles, one as a dom, the other as a sub, and might be seeking a domme in one profile and a sub in another. The honest thing to do would be to call yourself a switch and have ONE profile. Have to disagree - a person in this instance - just because they wish to submit or dominate, doesn't make them a switch. Nothing dishonest in that. Peace and Rapture

WhipTheHip -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:27:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mountainpet I don't understand why this is a problem. If lesbians don't want to get involved with men, or with bisexual women, don't they have this right? It seems to me that the category of "switch" was created for those people who can play in either role- so if I'm looking for such a person, I would look in the switch category. If I'm looking for a dominant, then I might not want someone who is submissive. Some switches are never submissive. Just because a guy can be submissive for a short period of time, does not mean he can't be dominant 24 / 7. If you are looking for a dominant, you do yourself a disservice by ruling out every male switch. You are the reason why some male switch may have two profiles. Because if they just had one one profile, subs would think they can't be dominant, and dommes would think they can't be submissive. Thank you for illustrating my point.

darkinshadows -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:28:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Homestead quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO Homestead: Probably it would be, I agree, but - I can imagine there might be people who honestly don't think about doing that. Maybe they will read this thread and do it? - Susan Trust is a key issue here. Being duplicitous by having multiple and conflicting profiles is a really great way to screw yourself, if and when a potential partner finds out what you have done. Thats you assuming they havent already mentioned they have two profiles. Your judging everyone on one issue - whether they are trying to fool people or not. What you are doin is generalising everyone who has two profiles as must being switches... or assuming they are with holding any information from a potential partner... and that may not be true. Peace and Rapture

Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:29:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO Well, maybe - but I am trying to be diplomatic about soming out and saying it out-right I guess, yes. - Susan I can't tell other people how to behave. But I can point out the consequences. And even if they don't mean to be dishonest, it can be taken that way when one plays games. A lot of people are drawn to this for not very good reasons-and the longer you deal with this, the more cautious one gets over players and nutjobs.

Homestead -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:34:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darkinshadows quote: ORIGINAL: Homestead quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO Homestead: Probably it would be, I agree, but - I can imagine there might be people who honestly don't think about doing that. Maybe they will read this thread and do it? - Susan Trust is a key issue here. Being duplicitous by having multiple and conflicting profiles is a really great way to screw yourself, if and when a potential partner finds out what you have done. Thats you assuming they havent already mentioned they have two profiles. Your judging everyone on one issue - whether they are trying to fool people or not. What you are doin is generalising everyone who has two profiles as must being switches... or assuming they are with holding any information from a potential partner... and that may not be true. Peace and Rapture Honesty would be mentioning thier OTHER profiles in each one, no?

SusanofO -> RE: Cynical assumptions. (9/1/2006 6:37:10 AM)
Okay, I understand. I know there are many nuts out there. Re Switches: I've known Switches that have hard time defining what Switches really are. In my case, being one is all still in the realm of my own head, although from my own fantasies, I gather it is a distinct possibility I am one. Because although I think I am 90% submissive, and being with a male Dominant as a submissive is where my real world experiences lay, I consistently also (though much less often) think about Dommeing (sp?) male submissives, and how satisfying that would maybe be to try. But - I've never actually done that (yet). I wonder where I would fall on a 'spectrum of "Switchiness" as far as this thread is concerned...?

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