RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (Full Version)

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Homestead -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 11:30:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

Because to some of us, this lifestyle is NOT only about sex.  To some of us it is about the mind, about power and control.  Physical appearance is far less important to me than a sub's desire to serve, to adore and worship and please and give himself up to me. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Seriously though, if someone is not going to be a turn on, why bother?



Why do you assume a turn on means the body alone? And as far as it goes I am with the previous poster. If I find someone so physically repugnant that I can't stand to look a them, do you REALLY think there is any saving grace that can overcome that?

Be real!



justheather -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 11:43:10 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Can't relate.  I was attracted to him before ever seeing his picture.


Ditto. And then the first picture I saw showed only a small part of his face.
Did I mention I fell in love with his right hand first?

Sorry, Dude, I don't know what the control group looked like for your 'speriment or whether your findings were statistically significant, or whether it happened at all, but I must be *one of the eight hundred exceptional women on this site because I

1. Am in love with a dom who is over ten years older than I am
2. Fell for him based on our interactions, not based on a picture.


*If I cared enough, Id probably resent the implication that anyone who is female and responding to this thread with an opinion that differs from yours is automatically not telling the truth. It's a good thing I don't care enough.

Your personal experience is just that, your personal experience.
Im sorry you've had rotten luck.



uke50 -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 11:44:00 AM)

The op's point is not unique to BDSM. Browse the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist in pretty much any city, and you'll see the same double standard used by both men and women.

"Hi, I'm heavy, but I want you to be drop dead gorgeous."

Beauty is a power resource.  Historically, women have been denied access to a lot of power, and so focused on developing their beauty. Ugly men could get beautiful women to date them because they had either political power, business influence, wealth, or all three to offset their looks. It may be that this is changing but cultures change slowly.

Now me, I'm fat.  (Not heavy, not BBM, not plump.)  I'm fat because I haven't found the right combination of diet, exercise, internal discipline, and external support that works for me, despite a lot of "head' research and many attempts. There's something very deep inside of me that won't let go of the image. Or the pizza.

Guess I've always liked food better than sex!!



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 11:52:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: uke50
"Hi, I'm heavy, but I want you to be drop dead gorgeous."

The point is a little deeper than that (though not much).

It's more like:

I'm fat.  People who don't like fat people or want fat people in a relationship are big stupidhead meanies.  I want someone who isn't fat.

Yes, this exists all the time.  Yes, it's ridiculous. 

This isn't going to change any of that.





raiken -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 11:55:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

Because to some of us, this lifestyle is NOT only about sex.  To some of us it is about the mind, about power and control.  Physical appearance is far less important to me than a sub's desire to serve, to adore and worship and please and give himself up to me. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Seriously though, if someone is not going to be a turn on, why bother?



Why do you assume a turn on means the body alone? And as far as it goes I am with the previous poster. If I find someone so physically repugnant that I can't stand to look a them, do you REALLY think there is any saving grace that can overcome that?

Be real!



HEXACTLY! *grin



justheather -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 12:03:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: uke50


"Hi, I'm heavy, but I want you to be drop dead gorgeous."



But, really, how often do you see couples where there is a great disparity between the parties' physical attractiveness in relation to the commonly accepted standards* of our society?
(*which, I might add, are not necessarily what floats the boat of every person who happens to live in that society... and most of the people Ive cared to spend any amount of time with reject the idea that real "beauty" has anything at all to do with a person's physicality, but for the sake of my point, I will assume there is a standard upon which we are agreeing and that it is the standard of physical beauty held by this particular country, the US.)

Whether or not people value the generally accepted standard for what is "good looking", it seems to me as I look around that most people fall somewhere in the middle of the continuum between drop-dead-gorgeous and gosh-darn-ugly and that they tend to couple with people who exist around the same percentile.

That may very well be just because most people do not exist at either extreme, but still, I find it difficult to accept that there is a large number of what the OP would consider not all that great looking women on this site who are holding out for a magazine cover look-alike.




gentlethistle -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 12:15:29 PM)

I'm fat (BMI 25-26 ish), old (42) and ugly (well, there's never been a noticeable queue around the block to view my visage) and I confess to submissive tendencies.  So I guess I'm the target audience for the original post.

And no, I've never imagined that I would be a compatible mate for a handsome, slim, young dom.  Because...like many people, I actually want to be wanted and I can't imagine what on earth such a person would want with me.  I certainly wouldn't waste his time or mine by pathetically trying to attract his attention.

This isn't a matter of lack of self esteem, since I'm aware that I have other qualities which don't relate to being slim, young or beautiful.  But, it is a matter of understanding something about the economics of beauty.....and let's face it, even if, somewhere in my nightmares I came into an amount of money so vast that such a desirable catch would be willing to put a paper bag over my head (or maybe my whole body)...let's be honest about this....what the hell would I talk to the shallow, conceited git about in the morning, eh?

without bitterness, but somewhat tongue in cheek
  Laura



roughleather -> Drop and give me twenty (9/5/2006 12:29:59 PM)

There's an obesity epidemic, and it's got to stop. "Fat tolerance" was a horrible public-policy mistake. We need to take a much harder line on this.  The United States Government used to do that.  Here's the "Youth Fitness Song" from the 1960s, sent to every school in the United States by the President's Council on Youth Fitness.

http://www.downside.com/image/youthfitnesssong.mp3

We need more of this today.

"Once more on the rise.
Nuts to the flabby guys!
Go, you chicken fat, go away!
Go, you chicken fat, go!"





amuzingtoyou -> RE: Drop and give me twenty (9/5/2006 12:35:48 PM)

when did this become a thread about obesity?? Sheesh must every thread do down that road?



LadyEllen -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 12:35:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It's more like:

I'm fat.  People who don't like fat people or want fat people in a relationship are big stupidhead meanies.  I want someone who isn't fat.

Yes, this exists all the time.  Yes, it's ridiculous. 

This isn't going to change any of that.



If one substitutes "transsexual" for "fat", it comes through much louder and clearer to those practising this kind of attitude perhaps?



justheather -> RE: Drop and give me twenty (9/5/2006 12:36:13 PM)

I love this song!
"Ten times!"
However, as the owner of a flock of black australorps and buff orpingtons, I resent the chicken fat references!


Thanks for sharing!




TreSwank -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 12:40:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: uke50

The op's point is not unique to BDSM. Browse the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist in pretty much any city, and you'll see the same double standard used by both men and women.

"Hi, I'm heavy, but I want you to be drop dead gorgeous."

Beauty is a power resource.  Historically, women have been denied access to a lot of power, and so focused on developing their beauty. Ugly men could get beautiful women to date them because they had either political power, business influence, wealth, or all three to offset their looks. It may be that this is changing but cultures change slowly.

Now me, I'm fat.  (Not heavy, not BBM, not plump.)  I'm fat because I haven't found the right combination of diet, exercise, internal discipline, and external support that works for me, despite a lot of "head' research and many attempts. There's something very deep inside of me that won't let go of the image. Or the pizza.

Guess I've always liked food better than sex!!


This fella has my respect already.



CrappyDom -> RE: Drop and give me twenty (9/5/2006 12:43:16 PM)

Heather,

One of the things I most miss about living in the country is having chickens.  Kicking over board so they can go after the meally bugs and other creatures was always so much fun.  I had a Rhode Island Red I rescued from a couple of dogs that I think escaped from a local farmers market for a while but I think someone absonded with it for dinner because it dissapeared and there was no tell tale spread of feathers to indicate a predator got it.



justheather -> RE: Drop and give me twenty (9/5/2006 12:54:44 PM)

CD:
This is the first time Ive ever raised chickens. It's been a great learning experience and I agree, it is something Id rather have in my life than not. Daddy teases me about all my chicken-raising theories (he's not a first-timer) and my elfen creature has learned quite a bit from the experience.
The cockadoodledoo'ing takes some getting used to...but we are working on thinning out the males and keeping only one Big Daddy Rooster and the hens which will hopefully start laying soon!
I hope you have a chance to raise more chickens since you enjoyed it so much...aside from the meat and eggs, they are really fun to just sit and watch, arent they!



Lordandmaster -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 12:57:01 PM)

What did you say about elephants?

quote:

ORIGINAL: anondom

So, lets see where this thread goes other than a flame fest against me for pointing out the fat elephant in the corner.



Homestead -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 12:59:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

What did you say about elephants?

quote:

ORIGINAL: anondom

So, lets see where this thread goes other than a flame fest against me for pointing out the fat elephant in the corner.



But, but, but..elephants aren't FAT, they are just BIG BONED![&:]



gentlethistle -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 1:05:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
What did you say about elephants?
quote:

ORIGINAL: anondom
So, lets see where this thread goes other than a flame fest against me for pointing out the fat elephant in the corner.



That is not an elephant in the corner!  Buff Orpingtons are just big-boned chickens, that's all.  And if she wants to sit in the corner then she can....well, she's bigger than me so....

Laura - creeping off quietly so the big chicken in the corner doesn't give chase


Edited to add: Rats...Homestead got to the punchline before me!



LotusSong -> RE: Drop and give me twenty (9/5/2006 1:06:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: roughleather

There's an obesity epidemic, and it's got to stop. "Fat tolerance" was a horrible public-policy mistake. We need to take a much harder line on this.  The United States Government used to do that.  Here's the "Youth Fitness Song" from the 1960s, sent to every school in the United States by the President's Council on Youth Fitness.

http://www.downside.com/image/youthfitnesssong.mp3

We need more of this today.

"Once more on the rise.
Nuts to the flabby guys!
Go, you chicken fat, go away!
Go, you chicken fat, go!"





Gad, I remember that song!!!! (You sadistic SOB! ROFL!)
There was always a low groan from the class when the music would begin.  Not because we didn't like to exercise.. it was just so HUMILIATING!  I mean we are in high school and we are exercising to THIS?"???  (now mommy and daddy would sue the school for traumatizing their little darlings)

There was nothing like a bit of humiliation in mid-day gym class.  Isn't that Robert Preston sinigng that?

Let us not forget the breast press from the butch gym teacher yelling "Press.. Press.. the bigger the better the tighter the sweater"

(I don't belivee I'm sitting here listening to the WHOLE song while writing this!)



MistressDeAnnya -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 1:06:13 PM)

I kinda get the feeling by the attitude, that the handsom pics wasnt himself.
 
But Id have to say your right.. even tho men are more visually oriented, women are as well no matter thier weight or age.
 
I didnt know it was written that because one is aging or over weight they must settle for the same, or is not entitled to the opposite.
 
 
 
 
Best wishes,
Mistress DeAnnya



raiken -> RE: Fat, old, or ugly submissives (9/5/2006 1:09:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

What did you say about elephants?

quote:

ORIGINAL: anondom

So, lets see where this thread goes other than a flame fest against me for pointing out the fat elephant in the corner.



But, but, but..elephants aren't FAT, they are just BIG BONED![&:]


So maybe i'll try one then, since the "big boned" statement kind of "hit" a nerve of boneless tissue...and not the Perdue kind either...*weg*



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