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RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 8:47:52 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

The sad fact is that women have been conditioned to judge men by income.


I would love to see the sad "Facts" that show that women (which infers all women) have been conditioned to judge men (which infers all men) by income.



Your'e on my ignore list, I have had enough of you.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 8:55:54 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owned1

Do you think income plays a factor in a M/s D/s relationship and where the power lies?



It's a factor... but not in where the power lies.


If you might KnightofMists please expand on your thoughts

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 8:57:16 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I think that it does have a power element. This is just my opinion and not everyone will think this way, but the person that controls the money and has more of it controls the relationship. The fact that you have money and would retain it, possibly he would end up relvolving his life around your income, this is truly power within the relationship (in my mind).

He might pass up promotions for your superior earning capabilities, or perhaps remain in a job local to your job even though he could get a better one elsewhere... it does skew the power relationships in the minds of many.


Yet and still in the supposed vanilla society high powered couples do exist and can be quite successful. Who would understand the rigors of your world other than someone enduring the same? I recall many years ago when Bob Dole submitted his candidacy for the presidential nomination, his spouse was presently serving as the director of the Red Cross. This did not hinder her ability to be supportive and an anchor of strength for him during and after that time. I believe the impact money has on any pairing is directly related to the elements that relationship is founded upon. If power is the first order of business it will have a more prominent position than if the two are simply partners first and Master and slave second.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 8:57:41 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		I want my partner to be be a responsible, self supporting adult with a decent work ethic, able to pay his share of the expenses.  Beyond that it doesn't matter.  I wouldn't be interested in someone who was a deadbeat, a leech, an alcoholic, etc, but if he's a hard working student or an entrepreneur just starting out who doesn't have a lot of cash, that's okay.  I'd also date somebody who was working hard in a low paying profession that they truly loved and were committed to even though it didn't leave them much money to spend.  I'd be very wary of someone who was low-income because of their own bad choices or fundamental deficits of character.

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 9:02:43 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Now now, children.  KoM meant "implies," not "infers," but otherwise what he said wasn't all that offensive, was it?

Of course, if all you're going to do is bicker, maybe it really is better for you to ignore each other.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

The sad fact is that women have been conditioned to judge men by income.


I would love to see the sad "Facts" that show that women (which infers all women) have been conditioned to judge men (which infers all men) by income.



Your'e on my ignore list, I have had enough of you.

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 9:03:38 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I think that it does have a power element. This is just my opinion and not everyone will think this way, but the person that controls the money and has more of it controls the relationship. The fact that you have money and would retain it, possibly he would end up relvolving his life around your income, this is truly power within the relationship (in my mind).


He might pass up promotions for your superior earning capabilities, or perhaps remain in a job local to your job even though he could get a better one elsewhere... it does skew the power relationships in the minds of many.


Julia I agree with your first paragraph, I think this is how many individuals both men and women think.  I do not nor does my Master hence we are together.

However I will disagree with your second paragraph.  I think this is dependant more on the individual and internal drive rather than what the partner is earning.  I personally would not be with someone who would not move up the career ladder simply because they did not need to. 

That being said, would it not be in the best interest if one had a high income job and the other a lower income to stay where the high income is.  The alternative might be to move so the male can get that higher paying position however the female may need to take a lower paying position or not be able to find one at all.

In the end you may have one income rather than two.  (this was confusing to write I hope it translates better).

Thanks for the comments

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 9:04:25 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Now now, children.  KoM meant "implies," not "infers," but otherwise what he said wasn't all that offensive, was it?

Of course, if all you're going to do is bicker, maybe it really is better for you to ignore each other.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

The sad fact is that women have been conditioned to judge men by income.


I would love to see the sad "Facts" that show that women (which infers all women) have been conditioned to judge men (which infers all men) by income.



Your'e on my ignore list, I have had enough of you.



He's been harassing me for months now, it's time to end it. I'm not going to bother to speak with a man who only disses me at every opportunity.

< Message edited by Homestead -- 9/5/2006 9:05:34 PM >

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 9:05:15 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

I want my partner to be be a responsible, self supporting adult with a decent work ethic, able to pay his share of the expenses.  Beyond that it doesn't matter.  I wouldn't be interested in someone who was a deadbeat, a leech, an alcoholic, etc, but if he's a hard working student or an entrepreneur just starting out who doesn't have a lot of cash, that's okay.  I'd also date somebody who was working hard in a low paying profession that they truly loved and were committed to even though it didn't leave them much money to spend.  I'd be very wary of someone who was low-income because of their own bad choices or fundamental deficits of character.



Well said Najakcharmer,  my thoughts exactly

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 9:12:17 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Hell no. The income of another does not intimidate me. On the same token, I don't want to find myself being financialy dependent on my sub. If it's her big house that I moved into, what controll do I have in not being kicked out? 

No matter how much a sub makes, I perfer myself to continue working and having one or two of my own investments.

On a last note, I never would want anyone to think "Is he with me just because of my money?"  For me, it's the reasurance to my sub/slave that the money does not matter. I'm more into using a subs body more than I in there purse or wallet.  



_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Owned1)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 9:16:22 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		IMO..if he is working and taking care of his financial responsibilities as do I..then all is good....Tempting

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 9:18:41 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Owned1

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I think that it does have a power element. This is just my opinion and not everyone will think this way, but the person that controls the money and has more of it controls the relationship. The fact that you have money and would retain it, possibly he would end up relvolving his life around your income, this is truly power within the relationship (in my mind).


He might pass up promotions for your superior earning capabilities, or perhaps remain in a job local to your job even though he could get a better one elsewhere... it does skew the power relationships in the minds of many.


Julia I agree with your first paragraph, I think this is how many individuals both men and women think.  I do not nor does my Master hence we are together.

However I will disagree with your second paragraph.  I think this is dependant more on the individual and internal drive rather than what the partner is earning.  I personally would not be with someone who would not move up the career ladder simply because they did not need to. 

That being said, would it not be in the best interest if one had a high income job and the other a lower income to stay where the high income is.  The alternative might be to move so the male can get that higher paying position however the female may need to take a lower paying position or not be able to find one at all.

In the end you may have one income rather than two.  (this was confusing to write I hope it translates better).

Thanks for the comments

Owned


Fangs n feet made a good point. A Dom worthy his salt doesn't want to be dependent on a sub. I'm not going to have one until own property, and it's MY domain. Then there won't be any doubt.

(in reply to Owned1)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 9:38:15 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I don't know about that. I can be so unconcerned about money that if I had a poly magnificent group of subs selling BDSM toys, ala, Tupperware, to keep our play palace going that I could deal with it. This doesn't mean I do that now or that I want to, but if I was in such a situation, I would not grab hold of the emotional bag.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 9:38:59 PM   
MaleModel


Posts: 65
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		I'm an international management consultant and I make 3 times what my Mistress and g/f makes (she's a mid-level staff officer with one of my clients).  Income is not an issue for us......we're both very happy that she controls one key part of my anatomy that gives us both pleasure......in the intellectual sphere, we're equals.  And in doing housework and chores, we're also equals.
 
It increases Ms. Lauren's pleasure that I function at a high level in my work and yet when I get home I'm subordinate to her in important ways.....she says that if I was junior to her it would not be as gratifying to dominate me.
 
MM

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 10:47:36 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I think that it does have a power element. This is just my opinion and not everyone will think this way, but the person that controls the money and has more of it controls the relationship. The fact that you have money and would retain it, possibly he would end up relvolving his life around your income, this is truly power within the relationship (in my mind).

He might pass up promotions for your superior earning capabilities, or perhaps remain in a job local to your job even though he could get a better one elsewhere... it does skew the power relationships in the minds of many.


Yet and still in the supposed vanilla society high powered couples do exist and can be quite successful. Who would understand the rigors of your world other than someone enduring the same? I recall many years ago when Bob Dole submitted his candidacy for the presidential nomination, his spouse was presently serving as the director of the Red Cross. This did not hinder her ability to be supportive and an anchor of strength for him during and after that time. I believe the impact money has on any pairing is directly related to the elements that relationship is founded upon. If power is the first order of business it will have a more prominent position than if the two are simply partners first and Master and slave second.

porcelaine


I did not make my statements a universal, and I am thinking more in the D/s paradigm. I have my own successes and accomplishments myself, but my Dom makes way more money than I ever will, especially when one factors in benefits. I will still continue with my own plans because that is my vocation, it is not even a career in my mind. I planned on relocating my life anyways, and I pursued men in the area my Daddy lives with the idea I wanted to relocate there. I know that even after I finish my PhD that if we have a future we must live our lives around the harbor because of these benefits. If I was the one with the better job this would be the anchor of our lives, and that would be a power position to me... I do not want to be in that position. I do not want our lives to revolve around my job. I would rather it revolve around him and his job. It has nothing to do with supportiveness, he is very supportive of my goals in life. In my opinion and through my eyes I see it this way. It is not the measure of successes or money itself, it is the power of having life revolve around your endeavors. It is the power of the purse. He has that power, and I do not, which is fine by me!

I think that there are submissives that hand over what they make to their dominants. The dominant decides where the money gets spent, where to invest, and all these sorts of decisions. I would say that even though the submissive earned the money, if the money is out of her control she is no longer in the power position. She is not making the decisions..

I know other people do not think this way, but it is how I think. I do not think my Daddy would mind me making more money, but I still believe we would live our lives around his job, he would make many of the decisions after asking my input. I  am not saying it is 100% that more money = more power... in my experience it does though,,,,but that is just my opinion and my thoughts on it... I did say "some", and "many".. but I certainly would not say "all" dominants feel this way.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 10:58:39 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Owned1

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I think that it does have a power element. This is just my opinion and not everyone will think this way, but the person that controls the money and has more of it controls the relationship. The fact that you have money and would retain it, possibly he would end up relvolving his life around your income, this is truly power within the relationship (in my mind).


He might pass up promotions for your superior earning capabilities, or perhaps remain in a job local to your job even though he could get a better one elsewhere... it does skew the power relationships in the minds of many.


Julia I agree with your first paragraph, I think this is how many individuals both men and women think.  I do not nor does my Master hence we are together.

However I will disagree with your second paragraph.  I think this is dependant more on the individual and internal drive rather than what the partner is earning.  I personally would not be with someone who would not move up the career ladder simply because they did not need to. 

That being said, would it not be in the best interest if one had a high income job and the other a lower income to stay where the high income is.  The alternative might be to move so the male can get that higher paying position however the female may need to take a lower paying position or not be able to find one at all.

In the end you may have one income rather than two.  (this was confusing to write I hope it translates better).

Thanks for the comments

Owned


I understand your point, but I do not think you understood my second paragraph, which is not a universal, but your OP seemed to ask what we thought about D/s and money and why men may be hesitant to attach themselves to one who makes so much more. I was just giving you an idea of what some doms may think about this and their fears of making significantly less than the female in their life, asking a submissive to give up that much for a relationship with them. They maybe faced with choices they do not want to have to make.. so why get involved when they perceive a power imbalance in the wrong direction?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Owned1)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Does income matter? - 9/5/2006 11:15:50 PM   
subjected2006


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline 		I don't judge all men by their income.
Just the ones in my life.
I'm 50 years old and I have seen time
and time again the evidence that men with bigger
bank balances have more control over their lives.
And that is a much required attribute in either
a potential sub or Dom/me.
Think about this carefully before you file me away
to the "insincere and gold digger" folder.
There are a lot of hard working people who are still always broke..
but they are generally unhappy with their lots and I prefer positive people,
if I wanted to hear someone bitching about how broke they are I'ld
go to the local Dem headquarters and hang out.
But seriously..when someone is able to  pay their way and are with you because
they want to be ,not because they need a roof and a meal..it's the best atmosphere for an
honest relationship,at least for me it has been.
I know there are a lot of decent broke people in this world,,been there ,did something about it..
But you asked for opinions..and just like assholes..everyone's got one.
If you think mine stinks ,,you don't got to sniff it.



_____________________________

a rose is a rose..

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Does income matter? - 9/6/2006 12:06:50 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		I do pretty well but I wouldn't have any problem with a sub/slave who made a LOT more than me though.
I don't know why that "intimidates" a lot of guys.

(in reply to subjected2006)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Does income matter? - 9/6/2006 12:44:10 AM   
Contesaluv


Posts: 173
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I make good money and my sub doesnt, but if he did make good money no that wouldnt bother me in the slightest. I would think that a Dominant would be happy a sub made a good salary and was doing well in life.

~Lashra 


My sentiments exactly.  If any of my subs made more money them me it would be quite refreshing.  Any sub that comes to me must be gainfully employed.  I'm not looking to take on a financial burden.  So, if they made more than me that wouldn't scare me in the least bit.  Besides it's there ass and how many times I can spank it and in how many ways that is my main focus with them.

_____________________________

Mistress C.

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
William Shakespeare
------------------------
In a world of so many variables, why do you have to be the norm? Anonymous

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Does income matter? - 9/6/2006 1:16:26 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I know other people do not think this way, but it is how I think. I do not think my Daddy would mind me making more money, but I still believe we would live our lives around his job, he would make many of the decisions after asking my input. I  am not saying it is 100% that more money = more power... in my experience it does though,,,,but that is just my opinion and my thoughts on it... I did say "some", and "many".. but I certainly would not say "all" dominants feel this way.



Your comments reflect upon a statement I made earlier that for most situations it is really dependent on where the relationship falls. I have always been the person that made the monetary decisions and provided advice in my partnerships purely due to my background and experience in finance. However, I do think that the mindset of both parties comes into play when determining who handles the role. My control in that domain in no way lessens his ability to guide or master. It is merely someone taking advantage of a skill their submissive possesses. In my world be it D/s or vanilla oriented pairings, the above is typically based upon competence, not a power dynamic.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Does income matter? - 9/6/2006 2:54:57 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		i think money plays a major part in all lives.  In any part of life.  it IS a capitalist country.  LOL 

but it all sorta digusts me so, nah it doesnt play any role in my life

(in reply to Owned1)
Profile   Post #: 40
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