RiotGirl
Posts: 3149
Status: offline
|
Hiya Raiken,
There are alot of approaches to dealing with things actually. The whole bi polar thing, you know if i am bi polar then one or both of my parents is. They've come down to finding it in a gene or something. God knows, it’s been awhile since I’ve read up on it. But both of my parents do damn well. Saying i am bi polar is a cop out. i am responsible for all of my actions/non actions and anything i'm involved in. Getting nasty yesterday with EM, i'm responsible for. I’m responsible for feeling the way i did and responding like i did. i AM responsible.
On your approach to other ways of dealing with things, i've found that actually getting GOOD, normal sleep does wonders for me. I had a friend point out that when i don’t get enough sleep, i get a bit out there. I’ve also found that working out is really helpful. I’ve actually found many things that are helpful. Which is ... why... im.... doing... them.
The thing is also, lol, it seems retarded to have to say it, but obviously it needs to be said - CM doesn’t see the whole picture. They see what i say here, which is never the whole picture. When I make these threads all it is, pieces here and there from my mind that i'm having a bit of trouble dealing with. They dun even have a clue to as what my personality is. They dun even see the full range of though process that i go through when it comes to anything. They see parts of it. What they do see is a range of emotions, which is in fact quite healthy in a normal flow of life. Everything i say, and do here is just parts of a puzzle. To want to diagnosis me based on "parts" that you see, is pretty much unintelligent. Point blank. State your opinion, "i think this" is fine - but to beat some over the head repeatedly because of what you think is again unintelligent.
i only show what i want to show. i generally come here with JUST parts as i'm not looking for a "whole package" fix. To simplify it for those who can’t seem to grasp what i am trying to say is this: its like i am asking how to make my roses prettier and what i get back from ppl like LA is how to make my garden prettier. She hasn’t SEEN my garden. Now granted she might have seen parts here and there. But unless she wants to be completely unintelligent and ASSUME that all there is, well.
I'm not trying to be a complete ass. Only partial = ) While i do appreciate every one wanting to offer advice on the "whole garden" its not why i posted this thread. The title of this thread does not say "i'm fucked in the head what do i do?" It says "abandonment issues" Which for the simpler of mind, means "i've a weed in my garden and i want to get rid of it" The majority here might think that to get rid of the weeds one must find a way to get rid of all the weeds together, but that’s not the case. i do actually garden.
And since my garden (remember this is a analogy) is overall very beautiful, sustaining and goes about life very well i don’t need the repeated attempts to CHANGE my garden. Plus it’s all perspective. i am actually on the whole quite happy with myself. i rock and everyone else thinks so, in my daily life. Quite frankly, i do very well.
So my garden is beautiful, yet i do have some weeds. Quite possibly all i do when i come here is try to take out the weeds, because i want my garden to be prettier. i LOVE my garden and i want it to be the best that it can be, it deserves nothing less. Yet, i like friendly advice and i like to have new perspectives on what to with it. i am not ALL knowing. i cant see everything. So yes, i do come here to see further beyond what my own eyes will see.
Isn’t that what life is about folks? Being the best you can in everything you do? Its like - i may have a great body. i may be very well toned and i may be in great physical health. Does that mean i shouldn’t work out? Does that mean i shouldn’t monitor what i eat? Should i just say "hey it’s good enough - why improve?"
And to restate - i like friendly advice. What i don’t like is when i email some one in a friendly way and ask them to cut it out and they feel the need to ignore my request and sabotage my efforts in improving something as simple as a rose bush.
Not that it matters anymore as to the "rose bush" As after these two threads, i have sort of figured out that the attitude and abandonment issues come merely from anxiety. (Which lolol they do make a magic pill for) Now that i am aware that it comes from anxiety, i can make counter moves to not let it rule certain situations that i am faced with. IE become more comfortable around others i don’t know and to remember when i am starting to "feel" abandoned to take a step back and let myself know that i am basing a judgment out of anxiety. Anxiety is not real. Self talk would follow, ultimately changing my reaction to the situation.
Thanks, had fun. i appreciated the space to improve something that i decided i didn’t like. And i do GREATLY appreciate all those that really took a moment to stop and think on this with me. With out the good people that answered, i would not have been able to come to a conclusion on how to deal with it which is of course why i came here. There are alot of intelligent ppl floating around = )
P.S. for another partial puzzle, while i did check grammer and spelling in Ms Word this is not my best essay = ) I can actually write very well, which is why no matter the school or class - i always get an A Do you get it? Parts of the puzzle. Just because i can write very illiterate does not mean i do not now how to write appropriately. I was even writing college level poems at the age of 16. Its what i care to show. One of the simpler things i have not cared to share is how well i can write - grammer, punctuation, content, and spelling and all that.
< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 9/8/2006 11:19:57 AM >
|
RE: Abandonment issues - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread