Talldrkgentleman -> RE: She's far away...any suggestions? (9/7/2006 10:41:25 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote:
ORIGINAL: Talldrkgentleman I'm trying to find her a submissive friend (to know she's not alone out there), and am even trying to find her a bi-girl to play with. Stupid idea. She's JUST getting comfortable posting online. Finding pussy to present to you for threesomes in the future is not going to make her happy in the long term. You also need to work on her presentation and whining. A dom can only take so much of being told he's not doing things right. She needs to be taught to say "I am feeling needy right now. Would I be able to hear something sweet from you?" and "I feel like you're not paying attention to me in this way, is this how you feel?" and allow you to present YOUR side of things for HER to understand, rather than put you on the chopping block and have to rush to redeem yourself. WHOA!!! "Stupid Idea?" I am 3000 miles away from this woman and unless your idea of a future threesome is over the phone, I just don't understand this post. I realize that for many men a threesome is the end all of fantasy, but such things are not my cup of tea. I understand some men force their women to have bisexaul experiences against their will, yet such a thing would not only be repugnant to me, but I just don't see the turn-on. My girl is 100% bisexual and has not had a female lover for a long time. So long in fact that she has asked me to help her find someone. I do not have a problem with her experimenting sexually with her own gender (though do if the gender is like me). From the moment we met she has begged me to bring a third into our bedroom for play. For a long time I resisted (Pleasing one woman is a lifetime's work; pleasing two...well I'm not sure I am quite the God I wish I was). Yet eventually I succumbed because I finally thought of a plan that seemed original and beautiful. I thought "what if I can just teach them both to please each other." It took me months to find a suitable candidate (I'm sure there are a great deal of people here who know of that problem), yet finally I found the perfect girl for us. Of course, in her ever unpredictable way, she accused me of wanting only a threesome and that she wasn't enough for me. After pulling some hair out and a good hardy laugh, I cancelled the date, and within the month she was yet again asking me to bring in a woman. Mmmmm...I have decided that I don't wish to begin such a task again (for it is truly formitable), but opt instead to just give her someone to play with alone. My girl has many fantasies; deciding which are ones to make come true and which to keep fantasy is my job. When such decisions are left to her, she can and has gotten herself into great troubles. I am trying to guide her away from such things. I succumbed to her threesome fantasy and she turned on me when I made it actually happen (she is not used to men making her fantasies come true). I am always ever watchful that even though she likes to pretend I'm her horsey, I shant be bringing Mr. Ed into the boudoir in this lifetime. But no...I do not force my will upon her. I just know she needs the excitement of romance, the touch of another, and the thrill of exploring the wonder of her sensuality. If I am 3000 miles away, this is something we can share. I will keep her away from the fakes, flakes, and phonies, she will tell me all, and I can delight in her delight. It's as simple as that. She has been longing for a woman for months while we were together. She is not a lesbian and will never fall in love with a woman (at least not enough to make a life). If she turns out to be one, then I will have the pleasure of knowing I helped her find her true calling, but I don't think she is. Besides, I don't wish to commit my life to a future sappho and this is certainly a fine way to find out if she is one (she's not, but it seems a good way to end this thought). Yet, I see nothing wrong with letting her have the naked friendship she so desires with another woman. I am not like most men when it comes to this sort of thing. A threesome to me goes counter to my nature (had one, it wasn't that great)but then again so do many things in this new lifestyle and with this wonder of a woman whose laughter is my treasure. I have learned to never say "never." If we ever have some threesome as she so often asks, it will be done on my terms and I will make sure it is nothing less than beautiful. But that is far far in the future if it happens at all. For right now, a woman for her will have to do. Why do you feel this is wrong or stupid? You also need to work on her presentation and whining. A dom can only take so much of being told he's not doing things right. She needs to be taught to say "I am feeling needy right now. Would I be able to hear something sweet from you?" and "I feel like you're not paying attention to me in this way, is this how you feel?" and allow you to present YOUR side of things for HER to understand, rather than put you on the chopping block and have to rush to redeem yourself. The most difficult thing for me to understand was to get away from her own percieved wants and have her concentrate on being a good girl (that and her desire to be raped during argument certainly threw me!). This is sound advice. thank you
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