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Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 2:51:19 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		Is there pleasure for a submissive if she can "get away with something" without a Dominant knowing she did?

Is there an out of site out of mind perception that if the Dominant can not see or is not aware of  her say playing with other dominants?

Is it the pleasure of topping the dominant...being more clever or "smarter" or topping from the bottom that the submissive enjoys?

Is she looking for the Dominant that can see though her facade or games that she seeks or is it that Dominant the one that she will run away from because he sees through her?

Is the cat and mouse game to avoid capture and rank more "smarter than him" notches or to be caught and reeled in?
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 5:35:20 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline 		Personally, speaking form the perspective of ANY  relationship, I fail to see how anyone could be happy to be sneaking around  doing things that they feel they must keep from their partner. Relationships are 2-way, they are not just one. If both can not, or will not give their all to make it work, and do so honestly...then the relationship is doomed from the start.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 5:46:04 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I can't think that the person is submissive if he/she is always trying to get away with something.  I agree with Tikkee...it's a two way street.  How can it work if one is always trying to trick the other?  No matter which one (dom or sub) it is.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 5:48:20 AM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline 		Your questions indicate that you perceive of relationships as games. I doubt that many successful relationships are founded on lies and "getting away" with things. Mutual respect, honesty and trust are usually the goals that are desirable, at least for me, so no, I don't get pleasure or any validation by trying to top the Dominant. I don't need to prove I am smarter or more clever than a partner. I also don't have a "facade" as you say. Why would someone put up a facade??

I don't really see your point, honestly.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!


(in reply to Tikkiee)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 6:15:42 AM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		Those that are not serious about the lifestyle may get pleasure from doing something behind the Dominant's back and getting away with it, but those that are serious about their submission or slavery would get no enjoyment from this whatsoever.  In fact, it would be the opposite - the guilt would get to them, and they would tell on themselves. 

Playing behind someone's back is not acceptable for either a Dominant or submissive - not in any form.  The relationship should be based on honesty, trust, and respect - not lies. 

Personally, one doesn't believe in any type of games when it comes to developing or maintaining a relationship; and one would not want to be involved with anyone that was a game player. 

~ ayasha ~ 

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 6:36:12 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

s there pleasure for a submissive if she can "get away with something" without a Dominant knowing she did?

Absolutely not.
If someone within my circle of friends and acquaintances were to sincerely ask me this question, I would take it as a sign of their ignorance as to the nature of a D/s relationship.
In fact, I would take it as a sign of their ignorance as to the nature of any healthy love relationship.

The fact is that I respect my dom and our dynamic (and what the presence of our dynamic affords us in terms of intimacy) far too much to purposefully disregard that dynamic.

I may be weak at times and make choices that are not centered and focused on him...on the dynamic... but when those moments happen I am my own worst judge and jury. The idea of revelling in "getting away with it" is the furthest thing from my mind.

And besides, I know that at any given time and any given place all he would have to do is ask "Is there anything you would like to confess to me?" and I'd fold in a heartbeat. I'm also my own worst tattletale.

quote:

Is it the pleasure of topping the dominant...being more clever or "smarter" or topping from the bottom that the submissive enjoys?

Is she looking for the Dominant that can see though her facade or games that she seeks or is it that Dominant the one that she will run away from because he sees through her?

Is the cat and mouse game to avoid capture and rank more "smarter than him" notches or to be caught and reeled in?


Edited to add: These all just seem like a sad waste of time to me.


< Message edited by justheather -- 9/9/2006 6:39:58 AM >

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 6:47:43 AM   
DomSA


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline 		I would have to agree with the other responses.  This goes against the underlying principles of trust and respect that are necessary to make a relationship...either BDSM or vanilla...succeed. 

_____________________________

Life is like a giant roller coaster. It has its highs, lows, sharp turns, loop-the-loops and crazy twists. But no matter how exciting, terrifying, thrilling or white-knuckled the ride; the worse part is always the end.

(in reply to justheather)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 6:53:34 AM   
lauren0221


Posts: 681
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Is there an out of site out of mind perception that if the Dominant can not see or is not aware of  her say playing with other dominants?

Is it the pleasure of topping the dominant...being more clever or "smarter" or topping from the bottom that the submissive enjoys?


No pleasure at all for me in that.  The second the honesty and integrity goes, the relationship is over. I don't play games or "test".  I enjoy serving, not behaving like a spoiled 12 year old.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 6:54:03 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		To me that isnt being a submissive at all by doing those things. That is being a brat which isnt cute or funny. My whole reason for being is to serve Master and by doing those things I would be disrespecting him. I fail to see how any of those things would be constructive in a M/s, D/s relationship.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 7:02:47 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Is there pleasure for a submissive if she can "get away with something" without a Dominant knowing she did?
Not for this submissive

quote:

Is there an out of site out of mind perception that if the Dominant can not see or is not aware of  her say playing with other dominants?
Not for me

quote:

Is it the pleasure of topping the dominant...being more clever or "smarter" or topping from the bottom that the submissive enjoys?
Not for me

quote:

Is she looking for the Dominant that can see though her facade or games that she seeks or is it that Dominant the one that she will run away from because he sees through her?
I am not childish, and I have no desire to play idiotic games with my Daddy

quote:

Is the cat and mouse game to avoid capture and rank more "smarter than him" notches or to be caught and reeled in?
  Again, not for me

I do not know where you got the impression that many submissives are like this, but I am not like this at all. If I want to play games like these I will go back to high school and get a vanilla boyfriend

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 7:32:55 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Is there pleasure for a submissive if she can "get away with something" without a Dominant knowing she did?

No, there would be no pleasure in that.  The dynamic of the relationship has then been damaged. 

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

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(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 7:38:17 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

pleasure for a submissive if she can "get away with something" without a Dominant knowing she did?

Only brief, and only bitterly.

quote:

Is there an out of site out of mind perception that if the Dominant can not see or is not aware of her say playing with other dominants?

Often.
quote:


Is it the pleasure of topping the dominant...being more clever or "smarter" or topping from the bottom that the submissive enjoys?

For some, yes.  For most, no.
quote:


Is she looking for the Dominant that can see though her facade or games that she seeks or is it that Dominant the one that she will run away from because he sees through her?

Yes.  They tend to be very insecure and irrational.
quote:


Is the cat and mouse game to avoid capture and rank more "smarter than him" notches or to be caught and reeled in?

Yes.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 7:44:55 AM   
kitty2MLoneWolf


Posts: 149
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Is there pleasure for a submissive if she can "get away with something" without a Dominant knowing she did?


There is no pleasure derived from a submissive who does this. Submissives are generally deeply disappointed and generally out of sorts when they have "gotten away" with something in this respect.

Now bottoms... maybe :)

_____________________________

used to be jessieme but I got a life <grin>

Dont worry about what other people think....they dont do it very often!

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 7:46:34 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Get away with something.  That's an interesting phrase, actually.  Exactly what has the submissive gotten away with, other than cheating both the dominant and herself out of their dynamic?  If she finds ways of being more clever than him so that she can top from the bottom and do as she pleases, then she will find in a very short time that she has lost respect for him as a dominant, and no longer desires the relationship.  She will have destroyed the relationship and hurt the man who trusted what he believed to be her sincerity.  (or he/woman, if the dynamic is sub to Domme)  This "game" may be fun for the new submissive who honestly doesn't know any better, but she will likely find herself quite unfulfilled in the long run (or maybe even the short run).

To not confess an infraction and therefore get away with it, the submissive changes the purpose and dynamic of the relationship. She is now in the practice of keeping secrets from him, and in doing so, creates a cancer within the relationship that will only worsen.

Not for me, by any means.  I would rather confess something that would result in my release than to keep that secret for the rest of our relationship (not that I would want to do something that caused my release, however). 

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 8:04:39 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Those that are not serious about the lifestyle may get pleasure from doing something behind the Dominant's back and getting away with it, but those that are serious about their submission or slavery would get no enjoyment from this whatsoever.  In fact, it would be the opposite - the guilt would get to them, and they would tell on themselves. 

It matters not what kind of lifestyle or orientation you choose to place yourself in. I fail to see how anyone, lifesyle based or vanilla, could possibly find any happiness in acting this way.
quote:

Playing behind someone's back is not acceptable for either a Dominant or submissive - not in any form.  The relationship should be based on honesty, trust, and respect - not lies.  


ALL relationships should have this foundation. Being in a D/s or M/s relationship does not give a person the corner of the market on honesty, trust, respect or lies. Such a foundation is attainable no matter what kind of relationship you have with your partner.
quote:

  Now bottoms... maybe :)

Hmm, I am a bottom, and yet I get no pleasure from deceiving a partner in such a way.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to ayasha)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 8:32:14 AM   
MLskajira


Posts: 275
Joined: 2/17/2006
Status: offline 		this girl just posted a similar comment in this forum.
when she is not observered she behaves as though her Master is sitting in a corner watching her.
she may have a couple of cigarettes more than her Master allows or something like that, but to "play" with another Master is out of the question. this girl loves her Master and would never go that far.
to her way of thinking, any slave that ventures out without her Master's consent is not His slave and should be returned to the "wild".


_____________________________

378-828-272

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 9:06:45 AM   
amor


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline 		Ok, so I was reading through the responses to the question above and felt kind of guilty.  See, my Master loves when I'm a brat.  He's one of the Men who doesn't like the "yes girls".  This doesn't mean that He wants me to never say yes, obviously, as I will be the first to attest to His need to have me behave and be a good girl, whether in private or not.  But a certain amount of playfulness is allowed, even encouraged.

Now, as to answer the above.  I find that I agree with justheather.  I have that tendency towards self-punishment, and if I know that what I did was bad, wrong, whatever, I tend to be my worst judge and jury.  If He asked, and I have not already confessed, just looking into His eyes is enough to melt away any resistance, and I'll admit without compunction. 

(in reply to MLskajira)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 9:12:34 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Um, playfulness is different that trying to get away with something.  I, too, am very playful and we have a lot of fun, but we both know that we are playing.

(in reply to amor)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 9:44:56 AM   
Casie


Posts: 450
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline 		For me no. I feel guilt when I disobey so getting away with something is not pleasent for me. I usually end up telling him 

(in reply to bandit25)
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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 9:51:33 AM   
LittleMissSub


Posts: 46
Joined: 2/23/2005
Status: offline 		to i want to entrust my well being and decision making responsibilities to someone i can pull the wool over on?  hell no! 

(in reply to Casie)
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