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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 10:16:28 AM

Tikkiee

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quote:

See, my Master loves when I'm a brat.

That's different in the respect that your Master encourages such behavior from you. You are not hiding things, sneaking around, lying...all to get your way in things.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 10:22:42 AM

LaMspeach

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I have to agree with most of what has been said. I get no pleasure out of trying to get away with anything. If anything is causes me pain and the guilt takes over to the point that I feel lost. I always tell on myself. My thought has always been--- why be in a M/s reltionship if you want to play those sort of games.

In the begining of my relationship Master gave me rules about speaking in third person and if forgot i got one punishment for each offence the next time i saw Him. Well i think i had about 10 punishment coming so i asked if there was a way i could get the punishments reduced, earn good point to take away the bad ones so to speak. After some thought He gave me a complicated task and if completed it he would take my punishments away. Well i completed the task and ended up asking for the punishemnt as well because i felt like i had some way gotten away with something and felt very guilty even thought Master agreed. So even thought i dont always understand Master's reasons and it isnt always easy to accept everything , I take what Master gives me because i know the feeling i get from rebelling against him is far worse then the punishment.

< Message edited by LaMspeach -- 9/9/2006 10:26:42 AM >

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 10:41:42 AM

cravespleasure

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a little off the point.. but if the rules are blurry, and there seems to be some kind of confusion as to what could be concieved as "getting away with something" i feel angst, and confusion. it's those moments when i'm conflicted about coming across as being willful, but really just wanting it clarified. there are times when a request will strike my funny bone because it could be misunderstood a certain way. Then I might be carried away to do said thing.. I would have to have a very close relationship and understand whether my partner had that same sense of humor. to me, finding that peace and security in having the rules be in place creates a freedom of expression that i wouldn't sacrifice. sure i test the box, understand the box, but within the dynamic..not as a "let's see what i can get away with"

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 11:09:44 AM

Steelriven

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I've been struggling a bit with this question. If you're talking about lieing, cheating, and trying to "top," a dominant-master I think that's just wrong. I'm going to try and give examples, cause I'm finding it hard to explain.

Submissive A. goes behind Dominant A. back to try and see if she can get away with anything and everything. It doesn't have to include cheating, it could be simple things to get out of every punishment, or order she's given. This is a bad way to be a brat. In my opionion this is not a healthy relationship.

I regress in my "play." So, I guess getting away with something could be totally different. Like breaking a bunch of crayons, over a fit and hidding them so I wouldn't get into trouble. I still feel quilty, but at the same time it's like "hah I fooled him hehe." I don't think I would feel the same way with larger things though. Like if I broke something very special to him on accident, I'd have to tell him. And I'd never oh, I don't know start a pinching match and not expect him to pinch back. Or punish me if I take it too far.

I think it's all in the way you percive the "getting away with it." And what you are getting away with.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 2:47:07 PM

SirDiscipliner69

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed

Your questions indicate that you perceive of relationships as games. I doubt that many successful relationships are founded on lies and "getting away" with things. Mutual respect, honesty and trust are usually the goals that are desirable, at least for me, so no, I don't get pleasure or any validation by trying to top the Dominant. I don't need to prove I am smarter or more clever than a partner. I also don't have a "facade" as you say. Why would someone put up a facade??

I don't really see your point, honestly.

Actually I do not perceive it that way at all but I am always open to other's perception..listening is a key ingredient to any relationship

I agree that the mutual trust, respect and honesty are desirable goals...

I was not stereotyping submissives but rather asking for perceptions...everyone has their own shade of grey I believe..thank you for yours..

My point was to gather insight from others....as I have already afirmed My beliefs....

Thank you

Ross

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 2:51:57 PM

SirDiscipliner69

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quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

quote:

s there pleasure for a submissive if she can "get away with something" without a Dominant knowing she did?

Absolutely not.
If someone within my circle of friends and acquaintances were to sincerely ask me this question, I would take it as a sign of their ignorance as to the nature of a D/s relationship.
In fact, I would take it as a sign of their ignorance as to the nature of any healthy love relationship.

The fact is that I respect my dom and our dynamic (and what the presence of our dynamic affords us in terms of intimacy) far too much to purposefully disregard that dynamic.

I may be weak at times and make choices that are not centered and focused on him...on the dynamic... but when those moments happen I am my own worst judge and jury. The idea of revelling in "getting away with it" is the furthest thing from my mind.

And besides, I know that at any given time and any given place all he would have to do is ask "Is there anything you would like to confess to me?" and I'd fold in a heartbeat. I'm also my own worst tattletale.

quote:

Is it the pleasure of topping the dominant...being more clever or "smarter" or topping from the bottom that the submissive enjoys?

Is she looking for the Dominant that can see though her facade or games that she seeks or is it that Dominant the one that she will run away from because he sees through her?

Is the cat and mouse game to avoid capture and rank more "smarter than him" notches or to be caught and reeled in?

Edited to add: These all just seem like a sad waste of time to me.

Good answer...that was along the lines I was looking for....but not all are insightful to the hopefully intended dynamics of the relationship..

Thank you

Ross

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 2:56:38 PM

SirDiscipliner69

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

To me that isn't being a submissive at all by doing those things. That is being a brat which isn't cute or funny. My whole reason for being is to serve Master and by doing those things I would be disrespecting him. I fail to see how any of those things would be constructive in a M/s, D/s relationship.

Perhaps the term Dominant rather than Master should be focused on...

Granted the long term relationship should indeed have allot of the respective qualities but what if this was not necessarily a deeply committed relationship but rather one of a casual basis?

Thank you

Ross

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 3:00:31 PM

TNstepsout

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Maybe in a playful way, but in real relationship issues I'd be VERY concerned if a sub had their focus on getting away with something. That's what teenagers are for. The trust issue is a two way street. You can't have that if the sub is being manipulative and dishonest.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 3:43:29 PM

catize

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quote:

but what if this was not necessarily a deeply committed relationship but rather one of a casual basis?

If you are referring to occasional play partners, then I believe the obligation to obey the dominant stops when the bedroom/dungeon door opens and all participants can go home happy. What is there to 'get away with' in that situation?

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 5:20:46 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Is there pleasure for a submissive if she can "get away with something" without a Dominant knowing she did?

This seems to be sneaky and underhanded to me. I don't recall exhibiting that sort of behavior even as a child.. (maybe a few times as a teenager) .. but certainly not as a fully formed adult. Such is not and would not be conducive to a healthy relationship with Himself. That's not what my submisson is about .. to him or to myself.

quote:

Is there an out of site out of mind perception that if the Dominant can not see or is not aware of her say playing with other dominants?

Again, not for me. What's OK is always OK and what's not is not whether I am physically in his presence or not. Whether or not 'he' knows is besides the point. "I" would know and I would be less than I can be in my own eyes.

quote:

Is it the pleasure of topping the dominant...being more clever or "smarter" or topping from the bottom that the submissive enjoys?

For me, neither one of those works. Seems counter productive at best to my personal growth as a submissive and the mutual growth we enjoy as an M/s couple.

quote:

Is she looking for the Dominant that can see though her facade or games that she seeks or is it that Dominant the one that she will run away from because he sees through her?

Unless we're playing poker, I'd prefer to be completely transparent. :)

quote:

Is the cat and mouse game to avoid capture and rank more "smarter than him" notches or to be caught and reeled in?

I have no idea why someone would engage in such behavior.

Celeste

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 6:57:16 PM

gypsygrl

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Oh gosh. I have too guilty a conscience to take any pleasure in getting away with something. It would make me miserable. I don't even try.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 7:15:10 PM

SweetSarijane

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To me doing such would undermine the entire relationship. It would affect or destroy open, honest communication and trust. Being playful is one thing, and I am playful, but deliberate dishonesty, sneaking around, and such is not playful, it's destructive.

Why be in a D/s relationship if you are going to do those things? They tend to destroy, damage and end D/s, M/s or any type of relationship lifestyle or non. I'd rather be happy and secure in my relationships.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/9/2006 7:58:28 PM

Owned1

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This to me sounds like manipulation, that is seen more I think in the vanilla world. Where women maniputlate to get what they want. I agree with the posters who have stated it is cheating both out of the basic dynamic of the relationship.

In regard to playing and being mischevious, now that is something that is fun and playful. Pretending to push buttons with a glint in your eye. That is the fun part knowing you will be pulled back to where you should be, and gleefully going back to that place.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/10/2006 1:42:51 AM

MasterFireMaam

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All these answers are person-specfic. There's no way to say that any of these questions/answers pertain to EVERYone. So, the answers are both yes and no.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/10/2006 4:39:30 AM

eyesopened

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During my first experience with a violet wand i accidently discovered that if i had my toe on His toe or otherwise touched Him, i no longer felt the current. i was secretly very pleased with myself that i'd found this little "way out" and He didn't have a clue. Of course, once i was out of swatting distance i confessed this little tidbit of information because i would never be purposely deceitful. There's a huge difference between being playful or a "brat" and being downright dishonest. In my opinion, dishonesty has no place in BDSM.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/10/2006 9:50:44 AM

NastyDaddy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Is there pleasure for a submissive if she can "get away with something" without a Dominant knowing she did?

Is there an out of site out of mind perception that if the Dominant can not see or is not aware of her say playing with other dominants?

Is it the pleasure of topping the dominant...being more clever or "smarter" or topping from the bottom that the submissive enjoys?

Is she looking for the Dominant that can see though her facade or games that she seeks or is it that Dominant the one that she will run away from because he sees through her?

Is the cat and mouse game to avoid capture and rank more "smarter than him" notches or to be caught and reeled in?

All these things listed are daily occurances here on the messgae board. Did you miss the apologetic thoughts (I fucked up) thread? How many times daily do you see subs asking what should I do now, or do you know what my Dom said?

You know the drill.... the forbidden fruit was just hanging there in front of their eyes and the little snake "makes" them do it because they are truely submissive... so you must realize all these things are the fault of the serpent and the fruit, NOT the sub.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/11/2006 5:31:50 AM

SirDiscipliner69

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kitty2MLoneWolf

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Is there pleasure for a submissive if she can "get away with something" without a Dominant knowing she did?

There is no pleasure derived from a submissive who does this. Submissives are generally deeply disappointed and generally out of sorts when they have "gotten away" with something in this respect.

Now bottoms... maybe :)

So given the scenario of a submissive saying she wanted to exclusively continue and then being told that if she wanted to play with others to just ask or inform the dominant.

What wold that do to the existing question?

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/11/2006 9:25:45 AM

Mavis

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This is sounding much like the "I have a friend who wants to know.." gig. Could pass this along to the friend..

Would we have it right to say this sub has asked to be owned, but continues to play with others in hopes You won't find out, or possibly in hopes You WILL find out and corral her?

Then when given permission to play with others if she asks first.. shes what? "forgetting" to ask.. or asks so often You can't figure out why she wants to play with every walking top in the free world?

In all 4 cases it sounds like You've been enlisted as her service Top. and yes, that would make her smarter and more clever.. if You hadn't realised she was manipulating You so.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/11/2006 9:33:56 AM

KatyLied

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quote:

See, my Master loves when I'm a brat.

Do you enjoy behaving in a disrespectiful manner? Why bother having a power exchange if you can't respect it?

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/11/2006 9:42:34 AM

littleone35

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I find no pleasure in that and Master would not let me get away with anything anyway if by any chance i did get away with something i would feel so guilty i would tell Master what i did.

Matt's littleone

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