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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/15/2006 1:26:52 PM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: petcerina

The more experience i gained about BDSM and how it worked, the more i became exactly what i said i never would, an elitist. Thinking that i knew the right way even in the most general sense. i became extremely prideful, arrogant, and manipulative. The more i got away with something through excuses, the more prideful i became. This pattern has caused a problem as of late, and there are measures being taken to correct it. Thankfully, the worst part is over. i was told that admitting my greatest fault was the hardest step, and so far that has proved true. With each day i am finding it easier to be humble, obey, and to be truly and completely honest and prevent myself from causing distrust in Master.

Very insightful answer...sounds like you have been going through some inner discovery and awareness.

Thank you for perception and sharing.

Sometimes We all need to step back and look with new eyes

Ross

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/15/2006 3:05:43 PM

raevnn

Posts: 152
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There are times, in the context of a scene, when I am expected to 'misbehave.' It is only ever intentionally done for that reason.

If I misbehave otherwise, it is not because I want to feel smarter than my owner and it is not because it is a game. It ocassionally happens however, because I am struggling with some aspect of our dynamic. But even then, it is not intentional and I must really think about why I did it before I can figure it out and discuss it.

I would also, not do things to make him angry simply for the attention. I don't get nice, sexy things as punishments; there are no cute, little 'bend over the lap and have a spanking, little girl' punishments for me. I get punishments. Big, bad, nasty punishments that I like to avoid at all costs. Besides, this dynamic is about me pleasing my owner - I enjoy that much more than I ever would enjoy 'testing' him.

Finally, I am a horrible liar (that includes keeping secrets) and would, therefore, never try to 'get away with something' behind his back.

I am curious as to why this question was asked. Discipliner: it seems that you've experienced this behaviour and seem to expect it from submissives and/or slaves? I find that awfully sad. Intentional misbehaviour would destroy the dynamic of any D/s relationship (outside the context of an appropriate scene, of course).

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/15/2006 6:42:17 PM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
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quote:

ORIGINAL: raevnn

I am curious as to why this question was asked. Discipliner: it seems that you've experienced this behaviour and seem to expect it from submissives and/or slaves? I find that awfully sad. Intentional misbehaviour would destroy the dynamic of any D/s relationship (outside the context of an appropriate scene, of course).

I am always aware of and open to the many shades of grey regarding perceptions.

The intellect and the doings of the human mind are fascinating.

Ross

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/17/2006 8:52:30 AM

maledave777

Posts: 67
Joined: 8/5/2006
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I feel honesty and trust is important in the D/s relationship. I would get no pleasure in lying to a dominant woman. Honesty and trust is the foundation of the relationship. I feel she wants to get to know the real me. I desire to get to know the real her.
I do know that if I lie about something for whatever reason, the guilt will set in. I care enough about her that I will tell her all about it.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/18/2006 9:02:53 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
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<fast reply>
I just think it's nice when we finally meet the one that doesn't like to play mind games like teenagers in high school.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/20/2006 11:59:56 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
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Hello There,
I would suggest not all subs are like the ones you describe here.
The knowing you could fib or be deceptive is not bad, but when you act on those urges not only do you sell the Dom short of the real response or circumstance, but also yourself.
For example one time I was told to pick 4 toys I wanted to play with and 1 I in no way wanted used on me.
The fear the one I did not want was going to be the one used most made me want to cheat and pick one I liked instead. that thought only stayed a second before I picked a horrid toy I honestly did not want used on me.

If I had been manipulative of his request he would have thought I did not like a toy I did like and I would be left knowing I was dishonest. In the end to me a lose/lose situation.

I think many do this trickery thinking it gives them power. Unfortunately I feel it robs them of their glory instead.
Suzanne

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/20/2006 3:35:40 PM

Celeste43

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From: NYS
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Depends when, where and why. If he left a statement open to being willfully misunderstood and it's a really minor matter that he doesn't care about, then I might willfully misunderstand it for the same reason that I'll use a pun. I like wordplay and that's part of our play. This would be playful fun for us. He wouldn't be annoyed but hopefully would give me a spanking for it.

Now, deliberately doing something that I know would anger or upset him? No way. I don't like hurting people I love.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/20/2006 8:15:06 PM

Tapestry

Posts: 226
Joined: 10/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69
Is there pleasure for a submissive if she can "get away with something" without a Dominant knowing she did?
Is there an out of site out of mind perception that if the Dominant can not see or is not aware of her say playing with other dominants?
Is it the pleasure of topping the dominant...being more clever or "smarter" or topping from the bottom that the submissive enjoys?
Is she looking for the Dominant that can see though her facade or games that she seeks or is it that Dominant the one that she will run away from because he sees through her?
Is the cat and mouse game to avoid capture and rank more "smarter than him" notches or to be caught and reeled in?

Absolutely no pleasure at all in "fooling" Master. In fact, I wouldn't and couldn't even try. And when I do something by accident I'm the one confessing, telling on myself.
I can't imagine a successful relationship of any kind based on "fooling" your partner, or getting away with something.
As far as the generalization that bottoms/subs/slaves are not as smart as tops/doms/masters that's just plain ridiculous. I'm incredibly smart, I happen to believe that Master is smarter than me, but he doesn't completely agree with me. I have submitted to doms who I didn't believe were "smarter" than me. My submission isn't dependent on something like that.
Now, I'm sure there are people of all persuasions who play cat and mouse games, and for a variety of reasons. Each one is different from the next, be they submissive or dominant, switch, straight, gay, lesbian, vanilla, you name it. So whatever experiences you've had with submissives, doesn't mean that all subs are the same.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/22/2006 9:34:26 AM

Lillithsdream

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I think SirDiscipliner69 has a particular sub in mind in posing this question. We have all come across someone that makes us ponder ones motives or actions. What is their agenda?
For myself.....getting over on a {my} Master would cause me tremendous guilt. ~~~~ah catholic school~~~~~! I want the dynamic of him knowing the inner workings of my mind, and trust that I am faithful to him. As I want to know his.....we are a compliment to one another....the other side of each others coin.
Lillith

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/22/2006 10:58:54 AM

Sub03

Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Is there pleasure for a submissive if she can "get away with something" without a Dominant knowing she did?

Is there an out of site out of mind perception that if the Dominant can not see or is not aware of her say playing with other dominants?

Is it the pleasure of topping the dominant...being more clever or "smarter" or topping from the bottom that the submissive enjoys?

Is she looking for the Dominant that can see though her facade or games that she seeks or is it that Dominant the one that she will run away from because he sees through her?

Is the cat and mouse game to avoid capture and rank more "smarter than him" notches or to be caught and reeled in?

Not that I play those kinds of games but if I did and was able to get away with something I would lose a little respect for my Master. If I did it continouisly and still didnt get in trouble then I would definetly not think of my Master as my Master because I would be able to do as I pleased and not get in trouble.

I think if I played games like that it would be to test my Master and my boundaries. I would want to get caught and get in trouble.Then I would know that the boundaries are solid and that I will be punished if I go beyond them. But as I said I dont play games like that.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/23/2006 12:52:02 AM

LittlegirlPet

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Joined: 9/22/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Is there pleasure for a submissive if she can "get away with something" without a Dominant knowing she did?

Is she looking for the Dominant that can see though her facade or games that she seeks or is it that Dominant the one that she will run away from because he sees through her?

That's absolutely terrible. If a sub is doing that, she either doesn't get the idea, or subconciously trying to sabotage the relationship. In some cases she/he might be trying to get Him/Her to be more controlling. Children who act out are usually lacking in discipline or seeking attention. If a sub is doing that, it's just that, childish.

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RE: Pleasure of getting away with something? Smarter? - 9/23/2006 2:42:36 AM

Avrilkiller

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Joined: 6/17/2006
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Personally, i agree...to a degree.
There is pleasure in getting away with a few things, much like the pleasure i got when i was little from sneaking a cookie. Half of it was the cookie, but the other half was pulling one over on Mommy.
However, not with the sort of things you mention. Playing with others, big lies, things like that....there's no pleasure there, only guilt and shame.

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