RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (Full Version)

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DiamondOrchid -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/6/2006 12:08:05 PM)

Depends on the person... if they are comfortable & happy crossdressing, then I'm comfortable and happy with them crossdressing. *shrugs* I just don't want to be bothered with micromanaging their wardrobe (I don't really care what you wear to bed, so long as it's nothing [:D]) and/or makeup. Anything else is just stuff in general that I won't abide in any partner, regardless of fetish/gender/kink/whatnot.
 
D.

Edited for spelling... darn trolls invaded my keyboard!




jdtallfem -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/6/2006 12:21:52 PM)

I like alpha males.  I like CDs.  I'm not into extremes.  I'm not sure about a 24/7 CD relationship and am having a talk with a CD about that right now.  I believe if I had that I would become a cuckhold and am not into that, so it all comes down to choices.  What do we really want? 
I believe a 24/7 CD can be very service orientated, that is not out of the realm of possibility.
I have seen CDs who did become entirely absorbed with their fetish, as I have seen foot fetishistists or water sports types or whatever become entirely absorbed --- and I"m into incorporating a vanilla relationship into a  BDSM lifestyle so that's not my thing. 

I think there's been some negativity and hostility on this thread and that's too bad.  I could whine and complain about  the numerous subs/slaves who've stood me up for meetings, who've not responded, who've flaked, who've lied, who've been totally into themselves but you know what?  Most of the subs/slaves I 've met have been decent human beiings and if the 30 percent or so had personal problems or were married liars then so be it.  It's not like that wouldn't have happened on a vanilla dating site, right?
And by the way, while I admit I don't get 50 responses in a day,  have gotten a lot and have strived to respond to them all even if it is a not interested.




iwearpanties -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 3:10:21 AM)

hello Mistress

thank you for those super words many of us cds whos dont pass and those who will and are greatful too you for your posting.... if other feel upset by them im sorry but for this sub i felt a compfort level form your posting




FemmeOwner -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 7:31:17 AM)

I like CDs just fine.  I have several who are my friends.  I just don't want one as my slave, on 2 accounts: 1) I want a MALE at my feet, and that means looking like a male. 2) I've never yet met a CD who was interested in being my slave after I said I would not allow him to dress in women's clothing.  Therefore, his first loyalty/priority is his desire to cross dress, and not his Mistress.  Pass.




pinkkeith -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 8:42:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeOwner
I've never yet met a CD who was interested in being my slave after I said I would not allow him to dress in women's clothing.  Therefore, his first loyalty/priority is his desire to cross dress, and not his Mistress.  Pass.


I would say that the CDs you have met are not into BDSM.




Morrigel -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 8:49:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith
I would say that the CDs you have met are not into BDSM.


They might be, they're just less into BDSM than into CD.  And really, everyone has priorities and "must-haves" in a relationship.  There's not much point in kneeling at someone's feet if you feel you are kneeling in disguise, pretending to be  someone that you aren't.  Many CD's tell me that the female persona is much more "real" to them, erotically, than the male persona that they have to use at work and in vanilla life.  So being forced to kneel as the "male" self would be the ultimate pointless gesture--instead of having a moment of real intimacy, they would be faking it yet again to live up to someone else's ideal of "manliness".  Kinda counter to the whole point of getting into an intimate relationship in the first place...

--M





FemmeOwner -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 8:53:37 AM)

Actually, I am particularly speaking of the CD's I have met here on Collarme who want to be my slave.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith

quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeOwner
I've never yet met a CD who was interested in being my slave after I said I would not allow him to dress in women's clothing.  Therefore, his first loyalty/priority is his desire to cross dress, and not his Mistress.  Pass.


I would say that the CDs you have met are not into BDSM.




pinkkeith -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 8:56:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeOwner

Actually, I am particularly speaking of the CD's I have met here on Collarme who want to be my slave.



Well, not everyone on CM are into BDSM, they might just have some curiousity about it. I would still guess that they aren't really into the scene, or at least are new to it.  




pinkkeith -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 8:58:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith
I would say that the CDs you have met are not into BDSM.


They might be, they're just less into BDSM than into CD.  And really, everyone has priorities and "must-haves" in a relationship.  There's not much point in kneeling at someone's feet if you feel you are kneeling in disguise, pretending to be  someone that you aren't.  Many CD's tell me that the female persona is much more "real" to them, erotically, than the male persona that they have to use at work and in vanilla life.  So being forced to kneel as the "male" self would be the ultimate pointless gesture--instead of having a moment of real intimacy, they would be faking it yet again to live up to someone else's ideal of "manliness".  Kinda counter to the whole point of getting into an intimate relationship in the first place...

--M



I can agree with every thing you said here.




FemmeOwner -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 9:00:38 AM)

Truly said; yet at the same time, they write to me anyway and tell me how "wrong" I am for not considering them as my slave and how they will "do anything" as long as I will let them dress feminine.  When "do anything" is followed by "as long as" I tend to start getting snarky.  I mean... I state perfectly clearly what I want and don't want.  I am not trying to convince anyone to change to be what I want; I am trying to find someone with compatible interests.  I am more than willing to live and let live. What I don't like is so-called "slaves" insisting that I change MY parameters to meet their kink. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel
So being forced to kneel as the "male" self would be the ultimate pointless gesture--instead of having a moment of real intimacy, they would be faking it yet again to live up to someone else's ideal of "manliness".  Kinda counter to the whole point of getting into an intimate relationship in the first place...

--M






FemmeOwner -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 9:03:25 AM)

So if you met a Domina who was not into CD's, and you hit it off splendidly in every other way, and you adored Her and wanted above all else to serve Her and no one else... but She told you that you would never be dressed as a woman, ever again, because She just didn't like that... which would you choose?

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith

quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeOwner

Actually, I am particularly speaking of the CD's I have met here on Collarme who want to be my slave.



Well, not everyone on CM are into BDSM, they might just have some curiousity about it. I would still guess that they aren't really into the scene, or at least are new to it.  




pinkkeith -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 9:04:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeOwner

Truly said; yet at the same time, they write to me anyway and tell me how "wrong" I am for not considering them as my slave and how they will "do anything" as long as I will let them dress feminine.  When "do anything" is followed by "as long as" I tend to start getting snarky.  I mean... I state perfectly clearly what I want and don't want.  I am not trying to convince anyone to change to be what I want; I am trying to find someone with compatible interests.  I am more than willing to live and let live. What I don't like is so-called "slaves" insisting that I change MY parameters to meet their kink. 



I can agree with you on this. I don't know why someone would want to contact someone after reading what they want and don't want, and then attempt to talk them into living a certain way. It doesn't make too much sense to try to make someone have your interests instead of just trying to find someone who might be more compatable with you. I frankly don't know why anyone would try to do this. It is kind of a waste of time with both of you.




pinkkeith -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 9:08:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeOwner

So if you met a Domina who was not into CD's, and you hit it off splendidly in every other way, and you adored Her and wanted above all else to serve Her and no one else... but She told you that you would never be dressed as a woman, ever again, because She just didn't like that... which would you choose?



Well, first off, I never said if I was or wasn't a cross-dresser. For the record, I don't really consider myself one. Yet, to answer your question if we hit it off and she didn't like something else about me, I would give it up for her. I am a realist and understand that not everyone will be 100% compatible. There might be certain things about her that I don't like, but if overall she makes me feel happy I would over look those small faults.  




FemmeOwner -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 9:12:35 AM)

It was in your profile, hon.  And after a year and a half on collarme, you're the first male I've met with an interest in cross dressing who said he would be willing to give it up for the right Mistress.

Vive la difference!

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith

Well, first off, I never said if I was or wasn't a cross-dresser. For the record, I don't really consider myself one. Yet, to answer your question if we hit it off and she didn't like something else about me, I would give it up for her. I am a realist and understand that not everyone will be 100% compatible. There might be certain things about her that I don't like, but if overall she makes me feel happy I would over look those small faults.  




pinkkeith -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 9:19:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeOwner

It was in your profile, hon.  And after a year and a half on collarme, you're the first male I've met with an interest in cross dressing who said he would be willing to give it up for the right Mistress.

Vive la difference!



I'll have to go back and reread what I wrote. If someone else were to label me a cross-dresser I wouldn't really care, but I wouldn't really call myself that. I do like the term "sissy" better since I have some behaviors that people would consider to be feminine. If she really did love and care for me for who I am the clothes wouldn't really matter.




Morrigel -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 9:31:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeOwner

Truly said; yet at the same time, they write to me anyway and tell me how "wrong" I am for not considering them as my slave and how they will "do anything" as long as I will let them dress feminine.  When "do anything" is followed by "as long as" I tend to start getting snarky. 


Oh, I quite agree with the "as long as" clause.  Everyone needs to have their needs met in a relationship, but subs who try to dictate their needs to an unwilling domme are making a deadly error.  It will almost always backfire hugely and irrevocably.

If he needs to be cross-dressed, and she needs him to be dressed as a man--they need to let it go.  They're simply incompatible.  It's not about whether anyone is more or less into BDSM; it's about whether a person is able to be himself in a serious relationship.  I don't want a slave who is faking it--I want the person kneeling at my feet to be a true expression of self.

--M




pinkkeith -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 9:40:36 AM)

You know, I have always wondered about those CDs who say that they are into forced feminization. It almost seems like an oxymoron to me to say that. If you enjoy it, what would be so forceful about it?




Morrigel -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/7/2006 9:57:08 AM)

I believe it is a fantasy, like any other about "forcing", which allows you to circumvent the shame of confronting your own desires.  There is a lot of very heavy baggage associated with gender roles and gender preference in this society.  Sometimes it is easier to shift the burden to a domme's shoulders.

--M





pinksissyPA -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/8/2006 9:26:02 AM)

I know many mistresses who do not. Many of them suggest that cross-dressers are attracted to them like flies. I wonder what the love-hate relationship is all about.

Good point Ms Amazon.  i think it is because they are craving acceptance.  If so what could be more fulfilling than to please One who initially didn't accept you?


pinl





RumpusParable -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (12/8/2006 3:12:35 PM)

This has gotten rather side-tracked in parts, but I'll still play on the main question:

It depends on the CD.  Transvestite or transgendered in some way?  Sexual reasons or comfort?  Is THAT their focus or ME? 

And more importantly are we compatible in personalities, services, and manner of power exchange?

I'm less interested in how you dress than the whys and hows of it and how they effect me.  These all very per CD, so I've no blanket yes or not to give.




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