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DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 11:30:47 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

There is an upcoming DM class being offered in my area. I called a friend of mine who is a slave to tell her about it, thinking she may be interested. She is a very level headed and calm person who has many active years in the lifestyle. She is also a nurse which I thought would be a bonus. I think she would make a great DM.

I was rather surprised though, when she said that her Master wouldn't allow her to take the class because he feels that only Master's can be DM's....and even more surprised to hear that he thinks only MALE Master's can. Any thoughts???

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

Post #: 1

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 11:32:15 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

Pig.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 2

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 11:33:16 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

Pig.

You said that so much nicer than I would have. :)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 3

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 11:34:44 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

complete hogwash and thankful my groups don't adhere to any such silliness

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 4

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 11:36:06 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I would not want to take the class after that, and if I belonged to certain organizations I would let them know about that experience. What they wish to do with that knowledge would be up to them. I would also consider contacting capable people within the community that were up to the task of giving such classes, and if such an individual existed I would encourage them to hold a more inclusive class.

I think it sucks basically, no one ever told me I could not do something based upon my sex. I would find a way to get the knowledge I wanted through other venues. The best way to overcome this sort of thing is by creating your own reality.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 5

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 11:36:23 AM

demistress

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline

Uhm..... my thought is chauvanisitic...... But hey, I'm a Female Master who has had to intervene in vanilla and kink scenes for the protection of others. True, most men have the potential to be stronger than me, but they also have alot more vulnerable easily accessible body parts LOL. I run my dungeon, but I do have a security-guard-type who I bring in for most situations with more than 2 new-to-my world people.

_____________________________

Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 6

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 11:36:28 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

There is an upcoming DM class being offered in my area. I called a friend of mine who is a slave to tell her about it, thinking she may be interested. She is a very level headed and calm person who has many active years in the lifestyle. She is also a nurse which I thought would be a bonus. I think she would make a great DM.

I was rather surprised though, when she said that her Master wouldn't allow her to take the class because he feels that only Master's can be DM's....and even more surprised to hear that he thinks only MALE Master's can. Any thoughts???

Yeah, mist. I disagree with her...and him...and his further point.

Can I see where at a private party or even a public venue where an occasion might arise in which a dominant involved in a scene with a submissive might need to be 'restrained' physically from continuing the scene? Sure, I suppose it could happen. In all honesty though, I've never seen it happen, at either private parties or public ones. In this theoretical instance, I could see where being a male DM could have its' advantages.

Perhaps...and what strikes me as more likely...this gentleman believes that in the world of BDSM play parties, "protocol" works best when the DM is male. Perhaps he believes that females should not be dominant and therefore, only a male dominant could restrain another male dominant. Perhaps...he is just a chauvinist of the "bad" variety.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 7

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 11:38:49 AM

MASTERRocker

Posts: 277
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Kitchener-Waterloo, ON
Status: offline

well... as a MASTER ; sticking my head in cautiously - one of my closest friends was a wonderful Domme - she had a very large family - and was well respected and strict - No women can be very excellent at DM - just a diferent approach at times = makes for better variety and entertainment
MASTER Rocker

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 8

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 11:43:17 AM

Silvermoon

Posts: 156
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline

In some ways I understand this. However I do not AGREE with this decision.

One reason they MAY be thinking that, is that a submissive is not going to wish to stop a scene. That is, after all against all protocol. A submissive should never interrupt a conversation, yet alone a scene. I know a number of submissives who would never considering Dm's because they'd be too nervous to interrupt, self doubting themselves

However, that's not ALL submissives. I think it's a GOOD reason frankly because a Master does not know what those toys feel like. Yes yes you've struck yourself with them, that's not the same thing, ok, you've bottomed, STILL not the same thing.

Thankfully I haven't run into this problem, but I was sort of surprised at that fact. I do know that some will not allow submissives to staff venues at all except to DM. Again, I agree and disagree dependant on the submissive. I know personally, as a submissive when I staff I'm treated VERY differently than I was as a Female Top. Sometimes, flat out ignored. But that's not the fault of the staffer or submissive. That fault lies in the lack of respect of the guests.

Sincerely
Silvermoon

_____________________________

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"In Manus Tuas Commendo Spiritum Moum"-Into Your Hands I Entrust My Spirit

"A man's word is his honor, his honor is his worth; Therefore a man who can not keep his word, is worthless"-Self Quote

(in reply to MASTERRocker)

Post #: 9

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 11:44:41 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

I don't think that he is basing his decision on the physical abilities of the DM. From the conversation, his point of contention seems to be that for a submissive/slave type to be able to tell a Dom/Master type what to do in a scene would be in contradiction to their roles. This of course, would not explain his thoughts on "males only" though.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 10

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 11:50:21 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I don't think that he is basing his decision on the physical abilities of the DM. From the conversation, his point of contention seems to be that for a submissive/slave type to be able to tell a Dom/Master type what to do in a scene would be in contradiction to their roles. This of course, would not explain his thoughts on "males only" though.

In that case, he's under a misperception that the role of 'submissive/slave' pertains to the uniform of DM. One is an orientation, the other is a job title. That he also thinks it's gender based just means he's an ignorant prick.. er.. pig. In every play party I've ever attended, if you don't follow the instruction of the DM you are asked to leave. If you don't leave, I'm sure that a female DM would be happy to call upon any number of beefy burley's (if need be)to escort someone out regardless of the beefy burleys innie or outie status.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 11

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 11:57:20 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I don't think that he is basing his decision on the physical abilities of the DM. From the conversation, his point of contention seems to be that for a submissive/slave type to be able to tell a Dom/Master type what to do in a scene would be in contradiction to their roles. This of course, would not explain his thoughts on "males only" though.

In that case, he's under a misperception that the role of 'submissive/slave' pertains to the uniform of DM. One is an orientation, the other is a job title. That he also thinks it's gender based just means he's an ignorant prick.. er.. pig. In every play party I've ever attended, if you don't follow the instruction of the DM you are asked to leave. If you don't leave, I'm sure that a female DM would be happy to call upon any number of beefy burley's (if need be)to escort someone out regardless of the beefy burleys innie or outie status.

Celeste

Amen

It doesn't matter who or what orientation the DM is....you follow the rules of the DM. Period. If I were the DM and I had to get rid of someone who couldn't follow the rules..and they got combative...then yes, I would recruit those that I've already asked to be there to help me out a bit. Nothing wrong with not being able to handle someone because of your size. It's the size in numbers of sane and serious people that count in that situation.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 12

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 11:59:11 AM

RedSavageSlave

Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would not want to take the class after that, and if I belonged to certain organizations I would let them know about that experience. What they wish to do with that knowledge would be up to them. I would also consider contacting capable people within the community that were up to the task of giving such classes, and if such an individual existed I would encourage them to hold a more inclusive class.

I think it sucks basically, no one ever told me I could not do something based upon my sex. I would find a way to get the knowledge I wanted through other venues. The best way to overcome this sort of thing is by creating your own reality.

uhmm julia.. I think she said the girls Master made this statement.. not the ones giving the class.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 13

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 12:02:31 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I think Celeste and Aine pretty much covered my opinion on the topic!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 14

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 12:09:24 PM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I think Celeste and Aine pretty much covered my opinion on the topic!

*grins*

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 15

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 12:16:24 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would not want to take the class after that, and if I belonged to certain organizations I would let them know about that experience. What they wish to do with that knowledge would be up to them. I would also consider contacting capable people within the community that were up to the task of giving such classes, and if such an individual existed I would encourage them to hold a more inclusive class.

I think it sucks basically, no one ever told me I could not do something based upon my sex. I would find a way to get the knowledge I wanted through other venues. The best way to overcome this sort of thing is by creating your own reality.

uhmm julia.. I think she said the girls Master made this statement.. not the ones giving the class.

The slave was giving the reason her master would not allow this friend in the class, who knows, perhaps she misrepresented her master's opinion... You would have to clarify that with mistoferin, if I misunderstood that this master/dominant was not the person who disallowed people into his class, and it was his slave that did so instead, she can straighten me out

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)

Post #: 16

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 12:21:03 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Sorry if I wasn't clear. My friend and her Master have nothing to do with the class offered. I simply called her up to see if she would be interested in attending the class. It is her Master that won't allow her to attend....but the class is being put on in an entirely different city by people that are totally unrelated to their relationship. The presenters of the class don't deny anyone based upon orientation or gender.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 17

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 12:30:46 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

OHHHHH... I am having allergy headaches (that's my excuse and I am sticking to it)

Well, I suppose I do not have an opinion, it is her opinion about it that matters. If she is satisfied with her master being sexist and bigoted about her orientation then it suits them. I know he would not suit me, but it is his honest opinion, he does not have the ability to deny people who are not his property to take the class, and frankly he did not even owe her an explanation necessarily as to why she cannot take the class. I do not always expect an answer, and after I am collared he can tell me not to do whatever he likes.. he can even do it now after I negotiate the right for him to.

But the thread may spark conversations between people before they make a collared commitment about sexism and prejudice against orientation.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 18

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 12:32:28 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

He sounds like he is one of the unenlightened and lives in a cave aka knuckle dragger. I feel sorry for your friend.

Anyone who is competent should apply for the position regardless of gender or personality orientation.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 19

RE: DM'ing....for Master's only???? - 9/27/2006 12:36:07 PM

WhyteRavenne

Posts: 125
Joined: 9/16/2006
Status: offline

All education is helpful. Some of the best submissives came from domination classes.. some Doms can learn a few things in a submissive class...

A rule from esthetics that I think applies: You won't know what it is like, if you haven't gotten it done to yourself first! lol... this being said to shoving tiny "filements" (needles) into my own pores for electrolysis... not fun... but, half of my leg hair is gone!

_____________________________

Last night, you were, unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.... do it again! - Morticia Addams

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 20

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