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Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 4:12:43 AM   
yaqeta


Posts: 59
Status: offline 		Yes, another spin-off *ducks to avoid flying shoe*

I know this general topic has been discussed to death, but I have a very specific question: for a Dom/me to own a slave completely, is it a fair expectation that the slave love him/her if they are able to?

I'm trying to be really clear here - I'm not asking about whether anyone in particular would/would not have an M/s relationship if they were/were not in love.  Another way to put my question is, if a slave is to give themselves completely to a Dom/me, should they also strive to "give their heart" by loving their owner?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 5:17:00 AM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Yes ... without the base emotion, there is not the level of trust necessary in this type of relationship.  With love, comes trust and devotion.  I cannot personally imagine My slave not loving Me ... she would have to in order to serve.  I would have to love her in order to direct and own.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to yaqeta)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 5:35:21 AM   
MasterRobert1


Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, in a perfect world, love and trust would both exist in a M/s relationship. However, it isn't necessary. I have known a number of healthy, functioning, vital M/s relationships that did NOT include love (respect, affection, but not love). Of the two, trust and love, trust is the one that is both necessary and vital.

(in reply to yaqeta)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 5:44:07 AM   
MasterC46910


Posts: 108
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline 		I have a different take on it.  I don't feel love needs to be involved. 

Respect...Yes

Love.......No

It is very possible to have a working Master/slave relationship without love.  But I do feel respect has to be there in order for it to work for any length of time. 

It is about the Master having control and the slave having limits or parameters to live within.   While each relationship is different, I personally feel the Master/slave relationship is more about a defined relationship then a love relationship.

(in reply to DivaDuchess)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 6:13:15 AM   
MIslostsoul


Posts: 43
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DivaDuchess

Yes ... without the base emotion, there is not the level of trust necessary in this type of relationship.  With love, comes trust and devotion.  I cannot personally imagine My slave not loving Me ... she would have to in order to serve.  I would have to love her in order to direct and own.


God bless you Dear Lady

I had the awful expereince of a Master telling me keep my love to myself because he didn't need what I had to offer. That he saved his intimaticies for his first girl/life mate and he could not return my love or devotion.

I told him he was crazy immediately asked to be released and ran away 3 days later for a reason i will not go into.

But i am so glad to hear a Dom/Domme say that it is true that you have to love and be loved by your slave or sub.

(in reply to DivaDuchess)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 6:15:42 AM   
MIslostsoul


Posts: 43
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline 		I am sorry but in any type of relationship you have to have certain amount of love evening if it is loving respect. Trust is a absolute but there has to be some Love

(in reply to MIslostsoul)
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RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 6:21:54 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I personally feel the Master/slave relationship is more about a defined relationship then a love relationship.

I agree


_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to MasterC46910)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 6:38:46 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I suppose there could be a long term loveless relationship in M/s situation. Certainly there are loveless relationships(mariages) in the regular world. To answer the OP question, I could not even begin to want to even think about trying not to try to give my heart to a person I would want to serve and could not trust a person who did intentially or unintentionally withold their heart. Certainly I can see if it is part time relationship and/or not long term, but an exclusive long term relationship, that simply would be a very big red flag to me personally.



(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 6:40:50 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Again the limits of the English Language on the subject of "Love" comes into play. With many other languages you have single words that discribe different types of love. Greek has Agape, Philos, Eros, each translate to love but the context is different.

Is love of some sort nessisary for M/s to work long term? I think the question presents a false choice. I believe that with an M/s relationship over any significant length of time that a form of love naturally grows. It may grow in any of the forms mentions from both directions but I think avoiding it's growth is all but impossible long term.

The Master may develope an Agape spiritual love for his slave while the slave grows an Eros love for the Master. Some form of love just naturally grows when people spend that much time together, assuming that the parties are acting honorably towards themselves and each other.

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 6:48:52 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		 Love is some thing that's given
Trust is some thing that's earned
I'll choose Trust any day


_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 7:07:41 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yaqeta

Yes, another spin-off *ducks to avoid flying shoe*

I know this general topic has been discussed to death, but I have a very specific question: for a Dom/me to own a slave completely, is it a fair expectation that the slave love him/her if they are able to?

I'm trying to be really clear here - I'm not asking about whether anyone in particular would/would not have an M/s relationship if they were/were not in love.  Another way to put my question is, if a slave is to give themselves completely to a Dom/me, should they also strive to "give their heart" by loving their owner?
Yes.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to yaqeta)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 7:16:49 AM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline 		It all depends on what the individuals want from the relationship.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 7:17:25 AM   
Shalyn


Posts: 55
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: TN
Status: offline 		I couldnt see myself being in the D/s relationship I am in now without first loving Him. We had been together for quite some time before we decided to take it to this level. So I loved and trusted him before. I just can't see serving someone who i don't love.

But on another note, I am sure it is possible for some.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 7:53:25 AM   
badkittyamy


Posts: 41
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Nassau, Bahamas
Status: offline 		lol you don't know how many times i try to explain 'level and types' of love to people who say i use the word love too freely. I also agree on some sort of love growing out of the relationship even if it is agape love. I don't think any type of relationship works forever without some type of love towards one another.


(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 7:55:25 AM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy

lol you don't know how many times i try to explain 'level and types' of love to people who say i use the word love too freely. I also agree on some sort of love growing out of the relationship even if it is agape love. I don't think any type of relationship works forever without some type of love towards one another.




I think the biggest problem comes from confusing romantic love with less intense varieties. One can care, without going insane over it.

(in reply to badkittyamy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 8:23:11 AM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yaqeta

Yes, another spin-off *ducks to avoid flying shoe*

I know this general topic has been discussed to death, but I have a very specific question: for a Dom/me to own a slave completely, is it a fair expectation that the slave love him/her if they are able to?

I'm trying to be really clear here - I'm not asking about whether anyone in particular would/would not have an M/s relationship if they were/were not in love.  Another way to put my question is, if a slave is to give themselves completely to a Dom/me, should they also strive to "give their heart" by loving their owner?

this slave does not 'love' her owner, nor is it required that she do so. This slave's owner does not 'love' his property either, nor does this slave require that he do so.
 
from a personal opinion ONLY, this slave believes that when love enteres into the relationship, that it detracts from the ownership that Master has. Again, this is only this slave's opinion, she is very aware that there are many in the same kind of dynamic that share love between themselves.

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to yaqeta)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 8:30:23 AM   
NYMaster101


Posts: 107
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yaqeta

Yes, another spin-off *ducks to avoid flying shoe*

I know this general topic has been discussed to death, but I have a very specific question: for a Dom/me to own a slave completely, is it a fair expectation that the slave love him/her if they are able to?

I'm trying to be really clear here - I'm not asking about whether anyone in particular would/would not have an M/s relationship if they were/were not in love.  Another way to put my question is, if a slave is to give themselves completely to a Dom/me, should they also strive to "give their heart" by loving their owner?


That would be ideal, but life is not always perfect. 

(in reply to yaqeta)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 8:40:47 AM   
wild1cfl


Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterC46910

I have a different take on it.  I don't feel love needs to be involved. 

Respect...Yes

Love.......No



I have to agree here, While you can have a loving M/s relationship it is not necessary. While some feel it is, others feel it is not. I also have seen many M/s relationships that have nothing to do with love but have everything to do with respect. Many people confused the two.

_____________________________

Wild

My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

(in reply to MasterC46910)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 9:41:51 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		You are assuming that all Ds and Ms relationships are based on sexual orientations, meaning a pair of het people, a pair of gay people or a pair of lesbian people and so are assuming romantic love is ALWAYS an option. Romantic love and devotional love are different things. Romantic love is simply not possible in a relationship between people of opposing sexual orientations. Thus, requiring romantic love is simply not logical nor possible. Requiring devotional love certainly is and I'd say that, yes, devotional love is to be expected.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to yaqeta)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Ownership and love - 9/29/2006 10:03:02 AM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline
A SLAVES HEART
The young slave often feels an oppression of her heart, aching for that man to whom she would submit and for one, someday come to serve under his ownership. She whispers to herself in the silent sanctuaries of her conscience... 'where is this master to dissolve the distance between her and those needs ?' She seeks clarity and desires a muscular support from him to feed her need to serve...she wants him to be her sustenance...and her lover.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 20
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