Should I See a Pro Domme?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Should I See a Pro Domme?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Should I See a Pro Domme?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/2/2006 8:42:10 AM

biblicalfury

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/16/2006
Status: offline

I know there is already a topic about Pro Dommes here, but that looks to a pretty general discussion that's gotten off point. Basically, I'm basically brand new to the lifestyle and I've been thinking about seeing a Professional. I'd like to go and try a few things out and see how I like them as something of an introduction to the lifestyle.

What's everyone's opinion on this?

Recently, I did answer a newspaper ad for foot fetishes. I went to a massage parlor and had a good time. Since that went well, I'd like to take the next step and see a Pro Domme. Where's the best place to pick who to see if I would go? There are websites for Dommes in my area and there are some newspaper ads I see from time to time.

I'd appriciate any advice.

Thanks!

Post #: 1

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/2/2006 9:13:53 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Seeing a Pro is an excellent way to try exactly what you want; Pro Doms are experts in fantasy fulfillment and reputable ones do it very well. Don't expect intercourse.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to biblicalfury)

Post #: 2

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/2/2006 10:15:00 AM

USwhimsy

Posts: 5
Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline

I agree with Master Fire. Do not expect sex because a Pro Domme is not a prostitute. Prostitutes are just that. Paid for sex. Pro Domme, in my experience, do nothing for sexuality, and all for helping with expressing the lifestyle of BDSM. Seeing a Pro is exactly that. If She is reputable, and experienced it is a lovely way to try new things, especially if you are married, and do not want a relationship beyond the fantasy realm. Do a little research, and you might be amazed at how much fun you can really have.

Be well, and have fun.

USwhimsy

(in reply to biblicalfury)

Post #: 3

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/2/2006 10:34:33 AM

stockingluvr54

Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

Had a great experience with a pro! ...like the others said, just pick wisely.

(in reply to USwhimsy)

Post #: 4

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/2/2006 1:26:18 PM

LASub4Real

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

I don’t know. Maybe. But I warn that much can be missed due to a lack of context.

[Context]

Kindergarten--First day of school: You’re scared, and a little lost but you notice a little girl 2 rows across the room with long, dark hair. Her name sticker reads, “Juliet.” When you go home, you draw a picture of her with your new crayons. Your mother asks who you are drawing. You don't tell her.

Feb 14th--Third grade: Juliet in finally in your class again. It’s Valentines day and all of the kids are passing out cards. Juliet comes to your desk and hands you her card. You pause awkwardly then remember to say “thank you,” she smiles. You never throw away the card.

Middle School--The Science Fair: You’ve worked for weeks on your volcano exhibit but when you get to the gym to set it up, you realize that it’s pretty lame. Juliet comes by your table with a group of girls. They begin giggling and pointing. Your face is burning with embarrassment. You feel a hand on your shoulder and Juliet’s voice says, “I think it’s pretty neat.” Your eyes meet hers for a moment.

High School--The Big Game: From the bleachers you can make out Juliet on the field doing her cheer leading routine. She looks up, seeing you and waves. She looks so beautiful, you wave back. Then a big football player runs up and she gives him a big hug. He kisses her and your heart sinks.

High School--Graduation: The ceremony has finally ended, you’re walking across the parking lot in your cap and gown. You hear a voice behind you calling your name. Juliet runs up out of breath, “You forgot to sign my yearbook?” You exchange books, you don’t have many signatures so she signs the front inside page. You can barely find room to sign in her yearbook. Hey boyfriend Gary is honking the horn of his new graduation gift, “I have to go.” You’re both going to different colleges next year. You watch her as she disappears, probably for the last time. At least she signed your yearbook.

College--Two years later: College has been different, you’ve grown up, found your confidence. You’re popular, have had several girlfriends, currently single. You’ve just finished your chemistry lab, it’s six p.m. you turn a corner and almost bump into... Juliet? What is she doing here? She’s just transferred last week, it’s a long story. You begin to talk, she’s no longer with Gary. She keeps saying how different you are, she almost seems shy to be with you... You tell her that it’s crazy, but you want to show her something. You take her up to your dorm room, she sits on the bed while you pull a wooden box from your footlocker. You don’t know where to begin. You pull out an old picture, drawn in crayon, a Valentines card from 3rd grade, you open your yearbook to the inside cover. She does not speak but accepts these each in silence and emotion. You tell her that you have loved her all of your life and that of all the people in the world she is your favorite person. You sit next to her on your bed. A small tear rolls down her cheek, she leans into you, she looks into your eyes for what seems like the longest moment and then kisses you.

Question: Do you like kissing?
Answer: Oh yes... yes, you do!

PARALLEL UNIVERSE

You’re in your dorm room one day and a girl you’ve never met before calling herself Juliet says she’s short on cash and will kiss you for twenty bucks. You laugh and tell her you’ve only got ten. It’s a deal. She leans in, you kiss. She says thanks, and walks away. You say thanks, to her back.

Question: Do you like kissing?
Answer: Maybe I should have kept the ten bucks for pizza.

[/Context]

It's not so much about trying out things to see if you like them, it's what those things can mean to you in a real relationship.

LAsub

(in reply to biblicalfury)

Post #: 5

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/2/2006 4:51:46 PM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

I have to say that I had gotten the impression a lot of the good folks on Collarme were anti-proDomme. I'm glad to see a balanced reply here.

Certainly, proDommes like myself don't fulfill ALL the urges one has, especially when what a sub is really dreaming of is a D/s relationship, but it's a great way to try a few things you haven't been able to do before. I also have longer-term submissives who are in relationships, or otherwise feel a need for discretion. In addition, I have a few boys who wish to serve me, and do pay tribute, but are committed to me as fully as if we played personally.

Just a few things to think about. I wish you the best of luck, biblicalfury

Lady S

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to LASub4Real)

Post #: 6

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/2/2006 6:22:09 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LASub4Real

It's not so much about trying out things to see if you like them, it's what those things can mean to you in a real relationship.

Actually, when I was less experienced, I was intimidated by men who had seen pros...how would I measure up...would I be "dommely" enough...performance anxiety, ironically. Thank goodness those days are gone.

It didn't take long to realize that what LASub said is absolutely right. Still, I do prefer someone who has had *some* real time experience, howsoever he gets it. Feeling is not the same thing as fantasizing about feeling.

** edited because I dropped a "d"

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to LASub4Real)

Post #: 7

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/2/2006 6:23:27 PM

ladylexington

Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

Visiting a pro is a great way to try on the cuffs without all the heavy control and commitment needed for a D/s relationship. It's also a smart way to learn how to behave as a submissive and gain confidence. Here's an article that discusses why a novice should consider a pro: http://www.colormered.com/view.php?item=78

_____________________________

If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much. -- Mark Twain

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

Post #: 8

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/2/2006 6:52:20 PM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

I've sent one slave to a ProDomme. She was very new and had come to Me to be trained. It took Me about 5 seconds to realize just HOW in experienced she was. I have a friend who is a ProDomme and she agreed to session with the slave. When the slave came back from her first experience, she had a much better understanding. Try it, you might like it, you might not. Do NOT expect sex, there won't be any with a respectable ProDomme. Just an introduction to the lifestyle. They are Pro's not prostitutes. Try a 'Google' search of Pro's in your area. Key words ... Domme, Pro, ProDomme, D/s, BDSM, Fun Party, Sessions. There are other words, but those are the basics. Make sure you include your location as well.

Good luck to you.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to ladylexington)

Post #: 9

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/2/2006 9:11:03 PM

demistress

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline

I am a Pro Domme, so of course I say YES!!!

Then again I like working with newbies, and have designed a new-sub 101 "class" session.

At any rate, I recommend max fisch's domina directory, he has some of the best, and personally interacts with the domme listed on his site.

_____________________________

Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to DivaDuchess)

Post #: 10

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/2/2006 10:49:54 PM

rail

Posts: 47
Joined: 2/20/2006
Status: offline

What kind of Massages parlor offers foot fetishes and what other Service they have?

(in reply to demistress)

Post #: 11

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/3/2006 7:25:56 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

If you want to try different activities without necessarily getting involved in a local community to find partners or without risk of a personal relationship developing and you have the money, hey, a professional dominant would be a great way to get experience.

Just keep in mind that the professional experience is likely to be very different from what you'd get from a non-professional especially in terms of fetish clothes or bigger equipment they can use. Some non-pros have these things too but most folks I know don't have much of them.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to biblicalfury)

Post #: 12

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/3/2006 8:03:24 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

Mail subs local to you and ask if they have used a local pro domina would they recommend her or put a post in the professional services section asking for information about professional mistresses in your area, take advice with a grain of salt and consider the sources ... if there is a local group, join their mail lists, and ask for recommendations ... although the group scenes can aren't full of dominatrices, I've found subs in the groups are quite happy to recommend a reputable pro dom they've heard of when asked ...

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 13

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/3/2006 9:07:24 AM

biblicalfury

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/16/2006
Status: offline

Thank you everyone for all the replies so far. I'll try to keep everything in mind as I look into this further.

As to some of the specific points made, I do realize that there won't be any intercourse and this won't be the same as experiencing BDSM with someone in a relationship. I think it's probably a good fit for me, though. I'm completely inexperienced and I think it makes sense to try this out and get a sense of what I like and don't like before I go out and try to find a relationship with a Mistress.

I did do a bit more research since I posted the original message, including a stop at max fisch's web site. There are quite a few Dommes in the city and at least of couple of them appear to be very professionally run, as far as I can tell from websites. One even has a steady stream of Mistresses visiting from around the country and claims to be nationally known. It doesn't look like she takes beginners, but it's good to know that there is plenty of variety out there for down the road.

I called and spoke with a couple, and one in particular that caught my eye. It looks like it's going to be a little more expensive than I thought, so I wouldn't be able to go immediately. But extra time can't hurt in making a decision like this. I'll try to touch base with some local submissives for recommendations.

For the question about the massage parlor, I saw an ad advertising for foot fetishes and another one for mild domination with the same number. It just happened to be a massage place, although, from the looks of things, they might do that legitimately too. I don't think they do much in the way of domination, mostly spankings and the like. The foot worship was great, though, and really quite a steal at the price.

Thanks again for the help!

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 14

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/3/2006 9:09:51 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

If you go to a respectable professional domina, understand one thing: she's NOT a prostitute and you will not get serviced like you did at the massage parlor. And don't even ask.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to biblicalfury)

Post #: 15

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/3/2006 9:11:17 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: biblicalfury

Where's the best place to pick who to see if I would go?

You've given us no idea as to your location or interests, so you're going to be on your own to go shopping, pal.

www.maxfisch.com
www.dickievirgin.com

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to biblicalfury)

Post #: 16

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/3/2006 9:12:38 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rail

What kind of Massages parlor offers foot fetishes and what other Service they have?

*rolls eyes* Most of them here in the US do.....anything for a buck, right? That's where you'll find at least one "hooker with a whip" who will do light dom with (the illegal) sex services.

(edited to clarify that I'm referring to US-based prostitution operations.)

< Message edited by MisPandora -- 10/3/2006 9:29:14 AM >

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to rail)

Post #: 17

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/3/2006 9:23:47 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

Pandora the parlours local to me find the opposite ... one working girl telling me she spent a month in the play room and it did her head in, give her hooking any day of the week ...

Though parlours are traditionally sex ...there are a number of parlours in NZ that take advantage of the sub male and his lovely fetishes ... and some pay handsomely for the pleasure of a day in a parlour ... they say the women treat them well... one delightful story was told of a sissy sub who had a bell attached as he went about cleaning rooms and running general errands for the staff ...the bell was so those with clients could know when he was about ..the place prides itself on discrection (sp?) and no client ever being seen by another.

A local one to me has a foot boy who comes in regularly to massage their feet in between clients ... have found most of the parlour staff are intrigued by the idea of domination but don't quite get it

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 18

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/3/2006 9:28:35 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

Pandora the parlours local to me find the opposite ... one working girl telling me she spent a month in the play room and it did her head in, give her hooking any day of the week ...

Though parlours are traditionally sex ...there are a number of parlours in NZ that take advantage of the sub male and his lovely fetishes ... and some pay handsomely for the pleasure of a day in a parlour ... they say the women treat them well... one delightful story was told of a sissy sub who had a bell attached as he went about cleaning rooms and running general errands for the staff ...the bell was so those with clients could know when he was about ..the place prides itself on discrection (sp?) and no client ever being seen by another.

A local one to me has a foot boy who comes in regularly to massage their feet in between clients ... have found most of the parlour staff are intrigued by the idea of domination but don't quite get it

I'll edit mine to read "in the US". I was a pro in a dungeon whose owner also ran a straight sex operation. I was so clueless at the time that got in trouble because I tossed a guy out on his face for soliciting sex rather than sending him to "the other place." A majority of our "houses" have girls who will do anything to turn a buck, and that's where much of the confusion comes from in clients who go there, get turned onto domination and then come seeking out a prodom. They honestly think sex is a part of the package because that's what they've had in the past.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 19

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/3/2006 9:44:15 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

Which is the entire reason I think education is much needed ... I have no issue with sex and domination, there are those who are looking for that and am thankful to the working girls who provide it ... have often passed on clients to local parlours for that very reason ... a little bit of slap and tickle, getting dominated and bonked at the same time, is horny as hell... pay wank and spank ... so yeah it can be quite an eye opener for a guy who is looking for just that to be confronted with a dominatrix ... am want to correct the boys and set them straight than telling the working girl she is giving me a bad name ... only I can give myself a bad name ...

I wrote something about this sometime ago but lost the file grr. .. I guess the only issue I have with a 'hooker with a whip' is their topping skills and adhereing to safe practices ... some have more than a clue, some don't ... other than that she can fill her boots ...

Some of the things I've heard the local girls talk about have made my hair curl ... like the 'Coffin Man' ... wanting the girl to be laid out in white, veil over her head, blankets rolled up and down either side of her body to form a coffin, holding a rose , to not move while he does his thing ... though least he wasn't disturbing the dead ...one hopes!

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Should I See a Pro Domme?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094