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RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/9/2006 2:38:59 PM   
SexyFemDom


Posts: 25
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		My profile speaks volumes to a certain select type of sub.  The subs that see me LOVE to be degraded and humiliated and they love a bitchy Domme.  What?  That's not your type?  Fine, who the fuck cares.  Are you that narrow minded that you fail to see the infinte number of kinks out there? 

No one goes to see a prostitute for love.  To equate the two is foolish, FOOL. 

(in reply to dublinsub)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/9/2006 2:44:32 PM   
SexyFemDom


Posts: 25
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		That's right!  Anyone can stand there with a whip and say bend over.  A real Domme, pro or not knows how to get in the subs head,  light his flame without even having a single touch to his body.    Only the fools think it's all about an  orgasm only.  They fail to see it's the journey.  

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/9/2006 3:05:05 PM   
WhiteRadiance


Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		It is quite a romantic notion to want a sub to seek out a "dedicated" relationship.. however, how are they to learn and grow in their submission?  How do any of us hone our skills and garner experience?  How is a sub to determine whether his soul is indeed the soul of a sub, or whether he is merely dreaming?  Perhaps he dedicates himself to a pro.  It can and has been done.
 
It seems to me that if a "sub" plays in a casual way at a party he is no more submitting than one who goes to a pro.  For you to judge him for wanting to experience anything- before even knowing you- is absurd. Of course he wants to experience things. Of course he is curious.
 
I would prefer a sub who has been trained by a pro or non-pro to a player who has "submitted" by attended play parties and was passed around as the community whipping boy... but, that is just me..  





quote:

ORIGINAL: Samwhiplash

I fully appreciate that pro-dommes offer a bdsm service (just bdsm).... however..... I am ALWAYS disappointed to hear that a sub I might be interested in having as my own has been to see a pro-domme. I dont want them to have taken the easy road to self fantasy fulfilment.. I want to see them dedicate themselves to finding a lifestyle Domme to serve.

While here it may be an unpopular view... it may be worth noting how an future Mistress you may wish to serve may view your history.

If it is fantasy fulfilment solely they are after... then I would not consider them sub anyway.



_____________________________

Staci

The drop of rain makes a hole in a stone not by violence, but by often falling.



(in reply to Samwhiplash)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/9/2006 3:15:57 PM   
Samwhiplash


Posts: 191
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		Im actually not against pro-dommes... I think they serve a certain purpose (as mentioned by someone else - someone who wants to submit occasionally rather than a submissive who is driven to serve)....

On a separate note: I dont think name calling is appropriate on any thread just because you disagree with what someone has said. We are all adults here.

(in reply to biblicalfury)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/9/2006 4:19:37 PM   
dublinsub


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyFemDom

My profile speaks volumes to a certain select type of sub.  The subs that see me LOVE to be degraded and humiliated and they love a bitchy Domme. 


I've never doubted that. However subs who engage your services are going through this process for themselves, not for you. That's the difference between submission to a Mistress for HER sake.

(in reply to SexyFemDom)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/9/2006 4:27:58 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinsub

I've never doubted that. However subs who engage your services are going through this process for themselves, not for you. That's the difference between submission to a Mistress for HER sake.




Well said.  That is about as simple and true as it can be.



< Message edited by joyinslavery -- 10/9/2006 4:29:32 PM >

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to dublinsub)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/9/2006 7:32:32 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Amongst the things that impress me most about a domme is elegant behavior.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to joyinslavery)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/9/2006 7:34:45 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinsub


I've never doubted that. However subs who engage your services are going through this process for themselves, not for you. That's the difference between submission to a Mistress for HER sake.



Touché

(in reply to dublinsub)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/9/2006 7:49:51 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

Amongst the things that impress me most about a domme is elegant behavior.

Cheers,

Sea



I vote for the opposite of elegant behavior.

But, that's just me. 

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/9/2006 8:36:23 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

I vote for the opposite of elegant behavior.

But, that's just me. 


Care to elaborate?

(in reply to joyinslavery)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/9/2006 8:58:44 PM   
jdtallfem


Posts: 180
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		As someone else posted I was also a ProDomme decades ago, in my teens and early twenties, then got out of the life altogether only to be compelled to come back again recently, but from my past experience seeing hundreds of subs and potential subs....  Many "subs" didn't want the life at all or any of the fantasies they thought or imagined they wanted.  Many wanted some of the fantasies, but not all.  Many went over the top and ached for certain activities, but other activities left them cold. 
I listened to what they wanted, took notes on what their yearnings were, and worked to fulfill their desires as a sub, because that is what made me happy as a Pro, puttiing them in the sub state of sub bliss, if you will.  Oh and by the way, to those of you who sneer at ProDommes who are only in it for taking the money, I later worked as a Rehabiliation Therapist in the State Hospital Systems.
I firmly believe that a sub that knows what he wants is that much better for any Mistress, versus a sub that "thinks" he knows what he wants, but has never tried it, only to discover he's mismatched with a Mistress with a passion for that activity that the sub secretly detests. 
So, yes, I think good ProDoms have a place and can save a lot of lifestyle subs and mistresses from wasting valuable time.
Not every activity is every body's cup of tea and it bodes well for people to discover what they really want in this lifestyle, because there is a difference between a fantasy in one's mind and the reality of playing out that fantasy.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/9/2006 9:06:08 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		I think whether one should see a pro domme or not depends on what the person seeks.

I do not see it as a must or encouraged experience for submissives for exploring BDSM. Still, I do see it to carry possible benefits.

I think the one benefit to do so is to enjoy something that can be very fun. We submit because it makes us feel good in different ways. Finding a relationship with a domme can take years and if one chooses to engage in having the want to submit met through seeking professional domination, more power to him.

It may help along the path to maturity towards learning how to process various aspects of submission.

I think another possible benefit is to experience a fantasy, and to see to what extent can that fantasy be realized. I think this benefit is limited towards a D/s relationship because generally professional domination creates a scenario to realize a fantasy that may not approximate reality well. Specifically, it may be one thing to assume a completely submissive, subservient role every so often with someone where the interaction occurs only in that context and for defined periods of time, and it may be another thing to assume that role with someone with whom you have a broader relationship and more regular contact. In the context of the professional relationship, the slice of time is enough that one can put aside the other aspects of self, whereas in a broader relationship these other aspects begin to matter more. A professional relationship may or may not help towards finding this balance depending on the dynamics of the relationship.

I can understand the concerns of lifestyle dommes who seek a relationship and meet a sub whose only experience has been with professional domination. The relationship dynamics and behavior patterns learned might not align well with the relationship they seek.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 10/9/2006 9:13:26 PM >

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/9/2006 9:11:49 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyFemDomYou saw 3 dommes and the fourth was a PROSTITUTE WITH A WHIP. Get it straight.


I do see a difference between a professional dominant and a prostitute with a whip. I would love to hear in your words what you find objectionable about a prostitute with a whip.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to SexyFemDom)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 12:18:29 AM   
Samwhiplash


Posts: 191
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

I can understand the concerns of lifestyle dommes who seek a relationship and meet a sub whose only experience has been with professional domination. The relationship dynamics and behavior patterns learned might not align well with the relationship they seek.

Cheers,

Sea


Absolutely.

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 12:20:14 AM   
Samwhiplash


Posts: 191
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyFemDom

My profile speaks volumes to a certain select type of sub.  The subs that see me LOVE to be degraded and humiliated and they love a bitchy Domme. 


I've never doubted that. However subs who engage your services are going through this process for themselves, not for you. That's the difference between submission to a Mistress for HER sake.



Exactly my point.... well said.

(in reply to dublinsub)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 12:43:56 PM   
SexyFemDom


Posts: 25
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Samwhiplash


quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyFemDom

My profile speaks volumes to a certain select type of sub.  The subs that see me LOVE to be degraded and humiliated and they love a bitchy Domme. 


I've never doubted that. However subs who engage your services are going through this process for themselves, not for you. That's the difference between submission to a Mistress for HER sake.



Exactly my point.... well said.


Dear lovely whiplash,

I know men need to submit.  I know something deep inside them yearns to surrender to a powerful woman.   I know it's a man's desire and need to be in submission to a woman, lifesyle or pro - IT DOESNT MATTER.  Most men long to submit and spend a good portion of their lives searching for this void to be filled inside them.  You seem to make a distinction between men who submit to a pro and men who submit to a nonpro.  IT IS STILL SUBMISSION.  Get over it.  It seems to make you feel good to think that the men who come to me and submit their will over to me are not doing it for me, but rather for themselves.  Are you trying to make me feel insignificant or unworthy of having a man submit to me for the sake of submitting to me?  If that's the case, you're more  ignorant than I  could have possibly imagined. Quit your 'one upmanship' game.  For your information, every man who submits does it because HE wants to.  FIRST and foremost he submits for himself. It begins with him.  It is a desire WITHIN him that he seeks to live out.  "Who" he chooses to submit to is secondary.   Once he finds a dominate woman who strikes his fancy, then he will submit to her, whether it be in romantic love or a periodic submission release.   The female domination lifestyle is a large umbrella that incorporates a huge variety of lifesytles and D&S activities and the common denominator is that the woman is the dominant - pro or nonpro!    Like it or not, fear it or not, be jealous of it or not, the professional dominatrix  is a dominant woman just like you and is still going to thrive in our society so long as there are submissive men yearning to submit. 

The ones I see dont want to be submissive husbands or boyfriends, they don't want that type of lifestyle.   My lover is submissive to me.  Different strokes different folks. 

No matter what, this lifestyle is about a bunch of adults having some fun. It shouldnt be about know-it-alls who claim to know what real submission is or isnt.  Speak for yourselves.  My subs would beg to differ with you.

(in reply to Samwhiplash)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 12:51:30 PM   
SexyFemDom


Posts: 25
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea


I can understand the concerns of lifestyle dommes who seek a relationship and meet a sub whose only experience has been with professional domination. The relationship dynamics and behavior patterns learned might not align well with the relationship they seek.

Cheers,

Sea


That applies to  any subs who have been  trained by another domme,  lifestyle or not.

< Message edited by SexyFemDom -- 10/10/2006 1:01:27 PM >

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 12:58:16 PM   
SexyFemDom


Posts: 25
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyFemDomYou saw 3 dommes and the fourth was a PROSTITUTE WITH A WHIP. Get it straight.


I do see a difference between a professional dominant and a prostitute with a whip. I would love to hear in your words what you find objectionable about a prostitute with a whip.

Cheers,

Sea


Are you kidding with this silly question?  You must be.  I guess you're being sarcastic.  I wouldnt like it if a woman, a girl, your momma, your sister, MY momma, MY sister, my niece OR ANY FEMALE sold herself out like that.  Would YOU  not object if your mom or sister sold her vagina or mouth to the public?

I think it crushes a woman's (or man) soul to have to sell their body out to the public and I wouldnt want that for any woman.  (or man).

What?  Are YOU  a supporter  for lost souls who have rent their bodies and mouths out for money?

I can't believe I actually even answered your question.

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 1:01:00 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea
I think whether one should see a pro domme or not depends on what the person seeks
I agree.  The reason I responded that yes is because blibicalfury said he'd like to try new things and see how he enjoys it, and that didn't sound to me like he wanted to learn how he'd feel about cooking/cleaning for his woman, though I could be wrong in that assumption.

quote:

I do not see it as a must or encouraged experience for submissives for exploring BDSM. Still, I do see it to carry possible benefits
I don't think it's a must either, especially since my kink is power exchange.  There is zero benefit to me if a man I've just met tells me he is trained or experienced.   The only experience I need is with being open minded, playful, and knowleadgeable that submission means one yields to the authority and control of the dominant.   Everything else we might do is icing, and I'm fully capable of training for things I find fun in that regard.

So what I am saying I think, is that I agree with you.  Yes see a pro dom if you want to experience sensation without committing to any type of relationship beyond that.  If however a relationship is the goal, there is no compelling reason to see a pro in my opinion.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 1:09:43 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		The fact remains.. that NO dominant female.. pro or otherwise.. can say she has such a glorious aura of dominance that she can take any man as hers.  The MEN seek her FIRST..as always.
 
How many Pros here just decided they were good enough to charge for what they do one day and don the Pro moniker?  Or were you hired by a commercial type "House of Dominance" and trained in all the esoteric and mysterious "Domme" ways to deserve your pay?
 
It just seems to me that one day the Domme wakes up and says.."enough of this shit..I'm CHARGING!"
 
Bless your hearts.. but the only difference between an "amateur" and a "pro" is the exchange of money.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 10/10/2006 1:36:28 PM >

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 80
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