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RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 2:09:47 PM

Samwhiplash

Posts: 191
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyFemDom

Dear lovely whiplash,

.......Are you trying to make me feel insignificant or unworthy of having a man submit to me for the sake of submitting to me? If that's the case, you're more ignorant than I could have possibly imagined. Quit your 'one upmanship' game.

As that was addressed to me - I will respond. I am not trying to "make" anyone feel anything... I suggest if you think I am trying to make you feel insignificant or unworthy then that might be coming from within.

And I play games with no-one - just to be clear.

(in reply to SexyFemDom)

Post #: 81

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 3:04:18 PM

SexyFemDom

Posts: 25
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Samwhiplash

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyFemDom

Dear lovely whiplash,

.......Are you trying to make me feel insignificant or unworthy of having a man submit to me for the sake of submitting to me? If that's the case, you're more ignorant than I could have possibly imagined. Quit your 'one upmanship' game.

As that was addressed to me - I will respond. I am not trying to "make" anyone feel anything... I suggest if you think I am trying to make you feel insignificant or unworthy then that might be coming from within.
.......................................................................................
...blah blah blah...

Clever assumption but be open enough to see I asked becuz you seem to boldly declare "However subs who engage your services are going through this process for themselves, not for you."

So, Im just calling it as I see it.

Who the heck are you to know anything about the subs engaging me??? You preach but you dont know a thing about my subs and you got a lot of nerve to speak for them, lady.

"And I play games with no-one - just to be clear."
...............................................................................................
.....puhlez, blah blah blah, I dont have to be anything for you.

< Message edited by SexyFemDom -- 10/10/2006 3:11:30 PM >

(in reply to Samwhiplash)

Post #: 82

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 3:09:42 PM

SexyFemDom

Posts: 25
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyFemDom

quote:

ORIGINAL: Samwhiplash

quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyFemDom

My profile speaks volumes to a certain select type of sub. The subs that see me LOVE to be degraded and humiliated and they love a bitchy Domme.

I've never doubted that. However subs who engage your services are going through this process for themselves, not for you. That's the difference between submission to a Mistress for HER sake.

Exactly my point.... well said.

Dear lovely whiplash,

I know men need to submit. I know something deep inside them yearns to surrender to a powerful woman. I know it's a man's desire and need to be in submission to a woman, lifesyle or pro - IT DOESNT MATTER. Most men long to submit and spend a good portion of their lives searching for this void to be filled inside them. You seem to make a distinction between men who submit to a pro and men who submit to a nonpro. IT IS STILL SUBMISSION. Get over it. It seems to make you feel good to think that the men who come to me and submit their will over to me are not doing it for me, but rather for themselves. Are you trying to make me feel insignificant or unworthy of having a man submit to me for the sake of submitting to me? If that's the case, you're more ignorant than I could have possibly imagined. Quit your 'one upmanship' game. For your information, every man who submits does it because HE wants to. FIRST and foremost he submits for himself. It begins with him. It is a desire WITHIN him that he seeks to live out. "Who" he chooses to submit to is secondary. Once he finds a dominate woman who strikes his fancy, then he will submit to her, whether it be in romantic love or a periodic submission release. The female domination lifestyle is a large umbrella that incorporates a huge variety of lifesytles and D&S activities and the common denominator is that the woman is the dominant - pro or nonpro! Like it or not, fear it or not, be jealous of it or not, the professional dominatrix is a dominant woman just like you and is still going to thrive in our society so long as there are submissive men yearning to submit.

The ones I see dont want to be submissive husbands or boyfriends, they don't want that type of lifestyle. My lover is submissive to me. Different strokes different folks.

No matter what, this lifestyle is about a bunch of adults having some fun. It shouldnt be about know-it-alls who claim to know what real submission is or isnt. Speak for yourselves. My subs would beg to differ with you.

The entire post was directed towards you whiplash

becuz you fail to see a submissive man is a submissive man - no matter who he submits to. And men who submit decide first and foremost to do it for themselves. WHO they submit to - pro or not - is secondary. Before you speak for all subs, go do your research first.

< Message edited by SexyFemDom -- 10/10/2006 3:10:26 PM >

(in reply to SexyFemDom)

Post #: 83

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 3:23:27 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
The fact remains.. that NO dominant female.. pro or otherwise.. can say she has such a glorious aura of dominance that she can take any man as hers

No once can claim anything is true if it is to be applied accross the board. It's true that no one woman is beautiful enough, dominant enough, controlling enough, or anything else to be able to attract/attain any/all men.   But it is a fact that some women are more alluring than others, and some women are more skilled/dominant than others.
Indeed some people are glorious because of their "je ne sais quois"/combination of wonderful qualities.

quote:

How many Pros here just decided they were good enough to charge for what they do one day and don the Pro moniker?
I cannot answer that, because on kinky play alone, I wouldn't pass as a pro, since that isn't my major interest.   I would say that a great many dominas however do possess the knowledge and skill to professionally dominate if they so desire.   Is there a house that deems them worthy? I think there are, but that isn't what is important. What is important in order for one to successfully sell a profession (IMO) is to posess the knowledge and skill the buyer is seeking... Many women on these boards qualify in that regard.

quote:

It just seems to me that one day the Domme wakes up and says.."enough of this shit..I'm CHARGING!"
Enough of what shit?   I would imagine female domination is hard work, and I'd rather do my current work any day.

quote:

Bless your hearts.. but the only difference between an "amateur" and a "pro" is the exchange of money.

I don't see your point, because I'm not rating Pros, or saying he should only see her if... I never said one should see a pro only if she knows A, B, or C. In fact I have said that for myself, a man would need to experience in order to submit. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 84

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 4:06:09 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyFemDom

becuz you fail to see a submissive man is a submissive man - no matter who he submits to. And men who submit decide first and foremost to do it for themselves. WHO they submit to - pro or not - is secondary. Before you speak for all subs, go do your research first.

Not to let you continue your tangent or anything, but do you really feel that being a disrespectful ass to women here and to men in your profile increases your business potential?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to SexyFemDom)

Post #: 85

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 4:28:46 PM

SexyFemDom

Posts: 25
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyFemDom

becuz you fail to see a submissive man is a submissive man - no matter who he submits to. And men who submit decide first and foremost to do it for themselves. WHO they submit to - pro or not - is secondary. Before you speak for all subs, go do your research first.

Not to let you continue your tangent or anything, but do you really feel that being a disrespectful ass to women here and to men in your profile increases your business potential?

...............................................................................
Excuse me miss thing, but I dont know you and never even spoke to you so WHO ARE YOU TO CALL ME A DISRESPECTFUL ASS?

Mirroring my behavior, are u? You may as well call yourself a disrespectful ass too.

Come off your high HORSE.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 86

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 4:33:53 PM

ModeratorEleven

Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline

Enough kids, settle down.

XI

_____________________________

This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to SexyFemDom)

Post #: 87

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 5:16:41 PM

Keyholderwanted

Posts: 13
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

The fact remains.. that NO dominant female.. pro or otherwise.. can say she has such a glorious aura of dominance that she can take any man as hers. The MEN seek her FIRST..as always.

How many Pros here just decided they were good enough to charge for what they do one day and don the Pro moniker? Or were you hired by a commercial type "House of Dominance" and trained in all the esoteric and mysterious "Domme" ways to deserve your pay?

It just seems to me that one day the Domme wakes up and says.."enough of this shit..I'm CHARGING!"

Bless your hearts.. but the only difference between an "amateur" and a "pro" is the exchange of money.

Excuse me but have you visited enough pros to judge them as amateurs? I have visited a number of pros and believe me they are no amateurs. In fact, I found them to be very knowledgable...

May I ask, why the bitterness towards pros?

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 88

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 5:21:56 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyFemDom
That applies to any subs who have been trained by another domme, lifestyle or not.

I disagree that my statement applies to any sub who has been trained by another domme. I think we describe different things. I wonder if you are referring to protocol and preferences of a domme about how she likes certain things done.

I am referring to relationship dynamics and related insights. Without drawing specific parallels to relationships discussed in the prior post, a man who has only casually dated women will have different insights than a man who has spent married life with a woman. While the other person in the relationship is certainly relevant, these insights are more specific to the the experience related with a type of a relationship than the woman. It is these insights and relationship dynamic related behaviors to which I refer in my prior email. If you think the experience that comes from different types of relationship dynamics is irrelevant, I welcome elaboration for why you feel so.

While some non-pro relationships may have dynamics that are similar to professional relationships and vice versa, in general I think there is a difference in dynamics. When financial compensation for time is no longer in the picture, the sub must otherwise contribute enough to the relationship for it to be interesting and worthwhile to the domme.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 10/10/2006 5:29:43 PM >

(in reply to SexyFemDom)

Post #: 89

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 5:22:31 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: biblicalfury

I know there is already a topic about Pro Dommes here, but that looks to a pretty general discussion that's gotten off point. Basically, I'm basically brand new to the lifestyle and I've been thinking about seeing a Professional. I'd like to go and try a few things out and see how I like them as something of an introduction to the lifestyle.

What's everyone's opinion on this?

Recently, I did answer a newspaper ad for foot fetishes. I went to a massage parlor and had a good time. Since that went well, I'd like to take the next step and see a Pro Domme. Where's the best place to pick who to see if I would go? There are websites for Dommes in my area and there are some newspaper ads I see from time to time.

I'd appriciate any advice.

Thanks!

Many have already commented on this, some Pro's, some not, some subs...

I'm a sub.

I've seen 2 "Pro" Dommes in my entire life. "Pro" should be loosely defined, as anyone who takes money for this endeavor would be considered a "Pro".

Not all are.

Actually, that's not entirely true...I've actually seen 4.

2 I paid...2 I didn't.

2 I loved, 2 I didn't.

If you want to see a Pro and simply get your rocks off...don't go in with preconcieved notions.

Those whom I chose to pay simply to get my rocks off, had no association with me other than our connection at the Holy Mother of the Almighty dollar...

Those were hollow experiences.

Those whom I loved (and still love), cared for me and made me feel not only welcome...but more importantly...loved.

Those were great experiences.

The others...not.

(See above if you have any questions as to whether or not to see a Pro).

(in reply to biblicalfury)

Post #: 90

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 5:26:46 PM

cynthiamarie

Posts: 205
Joined: 3/11/2005
From: Bluefield, WV, USA
Status: offline

Hm, I didn't interpret LotusSong's post in the way several have chosen to.

(in reply to Keyholderwanted)

Post #: 91

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 5:30:23 PM

Keyholderwanted

Posts: 13
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I've had positives experiences with pros and most of them were life style as well. I never wanted anything romantic with them, as they didnt from me. They loved the scene so much they decided to do it as a profession as well. Good for them is what I say. How can anyone condemn them for that and not be happy for them? More power to them.

That's my two cents.

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 92

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 5:55:33 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyFemDom
Are you kidding with this silly question? You must be. I guess you're being sarcastic.

The question is neither silly nor sarcastic but a philosophical one that attempts to invite intelligent discussion.

The thoughts that prompted the question are as follows.

The spirit of your posts seems to question the morality rather than legality of prostitution, which is the point I bring to focus.

Let's suppose a professional dominant who offers dominance without sex for payment finds herself aroused and attracted to the man with whom she is playing. Possible legal risks and the question of good business judgment aside, does engaging in sex with a client after she has indicated that the payment would not include sex make her a prostitute? In the scenario I describe, the sex occurs not for money but for attraction, as might between a client and a hair dresser or a massage therapist. I see this question to be a philosophical one.

There is not enough information to know whether the scenario described by underlimited was similar to that I describe in the preceding paragraph, or whether the woman was a prostitute who did intend to provide sex but said otherwise by telephone for legal reasons.

If a sub does encounter a prostitute who also provides domination, is it wrong for the sub to also seek sex along with the experience of submission? If so, why? Again, I focus on the moral aspects versus legal ones.

If a sub sought my advice between seeking services from a prostitute who also dabbles in domination, versus going to a professional domme, I would favor the latter. I am contemplating my reasons for leaning this way, and am questioning if all reasons are valid. Simultaneously, I invite you to share why you think it might be better--as your comments suggest--to visit a professional domme instead of a prostitute who also provides domination.

I hope that clarifies the my earlier post.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 10/10/2006 6:12:05 PM >

(in reply to SexyFemDom)

Post #: 93

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 8:32:27 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
There is zero benefit to me if a man I've just met tells me he is trained or experienced. The only experience I need is with being open minded, playful, and knowleadgeable that submission means one yields to the authority and control of the dominant. Everything else we might do is icing, and I'm fully capable of training for things I find fun in that regard.

I agree that lack of experience can be changed more easily than criteria more fundamental.

All other things being equal, experience, like in any other aspect of life, usually brings better judgment and maturity as well possible process improvement (my 4 hour pedicure now only takes two hours ;-) ).

One specific example that came to mind when I wrote my prior post was how to process as a submissive. Submission involves learing how to deal with ego issues that may conflict with the want to submit. I think a sub who has made progress towards how to process when ego matters arise--whether this is learned through personal play, professional play, or otherwise--has learned something that will help him in any D/s relationship.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 10/10/2006 8:37:08 PM >

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 94

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 8:48:21 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

I'm sleepy!!!!

< Message edited by joyinslavery -- 10/10/2006 8:54:37 PM >

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 95

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 9:01:55 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

You make a lot of sense in that some experiences are positive and helpful, but by and large, when men approach me saying I have 10years of experience, it has meant I know all about chastity, she never permitted me sex in 10 years except once with the blow up doll, or some other shit that irritates me, lmao.

Sure I'd like a man who doesn't whine and cry when I ask what are we having for dinner, or take out the medium buttplug before the dildo, but I would much prefer the man who doesn't say "I'm trained" which usually means

quote:

I will drive you nuts doing exactly what my last master wanted until you eventually reprogram me(Happypervert)

Other than that, I agree with you, experience can be a good thing if it has taught him more about general service and made him more comfortable in that regard. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Post #: 96

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 9:03:45 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

RE: Post 66. Yes, I saw that and agree. Money is the main thing determining Pro from Non though. There really isn't any difference (IMO) in the skill level that a novice would realize.

Those I have played with, I have encouraged to build their OWN play bag for their use. If they are going to buy toys- buy them for themselves and let any future Dommes use them on them. Saves storage for the Domme and makes them (the submissive) responsible. The Domme then also doesn't have to worry about theft.

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 97

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/10/2006 9:30:05 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Keyholderwanted

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

The fact remains.. that NO dominant female.. pro or otherwise.. can say she has such a glorious aura of dominance that she can take any man as hers. The MEN seek her FIRST..as always.

How many Pros here just decided they were good enough to charge for what they do one day and don the Pro moniker? Or were you hired by a commercial type "House of Dominance" and trained in all the esoteric and mysterious "Domme" ways to deserve your pay?

It just seems to me that one day the Domme wakes up and says.."enough of this shit..I'm CHARGING!"

Bless your hearts.. but the only difference between an "amateur" and a "pro" is the exchange of money.

Excuse me but have you visited enough pros to judge them as amateurs? I have visited a number of pros and believe me they are no amateurs. In fact, I found them to be very knowledgable...

May I ask, why the bitterness towards pros?

Over the years I have instructed several newcomers to the Domme world.  Some ladies would take a few tricks and then proclaim they are PRO-DOMME just because they charged. If it's THAT easy to be a Pro domme.. oh well.

I've sessioned enough of those who have BEEN to Pro dommes. I have friends who are Pro dommes.

I helped one out of state sub I knew to go find a ProDomme in his state. Right out of the DDI. He goes to her and she calls ME to ask what she should do for him! Yeah... real professional. She even opened the bottle of wine he bought and they split it. Drinking while sessioning.. real smart. Then they watched TV afterward and pointed out what city officials on the news she had seen in her dungeon as slaves. So much for confidentiality.

Another one took me to task saying pros NEVER offer sexual favors.. only to be arrested two weeks later for providing anal sex for an extra $300 to an undercover cop.

Then we have a Domme who was relocating out of state and took a young man's credit card number and charged $1000 quite unexpectedly. They were on a friend basis (he thought so) - well not after that. She felt that being a Domme justified her actions. Screw the friendship.

My own Slave sufferd nerve damage as the result of a session with a Pro.

Need I go on?   I'm not bitter.. I'm EMBARASSED. If a guy can't tell the difference between a hooker with a whip and a proDomme.. There's a problem. There is no standard one has to go by to be a Pro. No consistancy a client can go by. In short, it's a crap shoot.

Even Las Vegas prostitutes have C.O.Y.O.T.E. to support thier cause.

You asked.. you got it.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 10/10/2006 9:33:59 PM >

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Keyholderwanted)

Post #: 98

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/11/2006 6:02:31 AM

SexyFemDom

Posts: 25
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

We get your point - you dont like pros. So what. Cry me a river! NO one cares. Pros are here to stay and are gonna keep on having those lil subbies visit them.

It's obvious many like the pros. But you go on keep writing pages and pages of how much you dont. We all really care.

Let me go buy you a box of tissues for your next pages and pages of BOO HOOS I dont like pros, blah blah.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 99

RE: Should I See a Pro Domme? - 10/11/2006 8:16:35 AM

biblicalfury

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/16/2006
Status: offline

This has turned into an interesting discussion.

Back to the original point, I do think I'm going to go ahead and see a Pro. I've been researching while this discussion is going on. I found a reputible place that has a Domme visiting soon that I'd like to see. I've contacted the place and things have gone well. If I put down a deposit, everything will be set for an appointment sometime next month. Unless something comes up, I should have everything in place by the weekend.

I really do appriciate all the advice so far, both positive and negative. If nothing else, it has led to me making a much more careful decision.

Since there was talk of hookers with whips, while I've been looking around I found just such a thing. Someone who placed an ad for Domination services in a local paper also appears to be an escort. I might not have caught it had it not been brought up in this discussion, but a quick look at the hooker ads in the same paper turned up the same phone number advertising for sex. So this type of thing is definately out there. Personally, I want to stay away from it. No need to get into any unnecessary trouble.

(in reply to SexyFemDom)

Post #: 100

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