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Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 9:24:20 PM

Strutinan

Posts: 17
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline

Just today I finally got the formal brush-off from my last slave. We really hit it off, then she moved to SF to go to school, and we were suppossed to stay in touch via e-mail/telephone/occassional visits. Well, after the first month there she started ignoring my messages and stopped taking my phone calls. Then I find out she came back to the area for a visit...after telling me she was coming...and didn't bother to tell me she had arrived safely. So I spent the entire weekend of my birthday worried sick that something had happened to her in transit, and being unable to get ahold of any of our mutual contacts to find out if they knew more.

Of course they knew more, she had made it safely and had told them not to let me know.

Now here it is, a month after that weekend, and I FINALLY got through to her. Or exactly, I got through to a message she left for me: "I don't want to talk to you anymore". After weeks of being ignored by a woman I let into my heart, something that is very hard for me to do, I finally find out that she is no longer interrested in me. Despite protestations of her love and devotion, her desire to be with me, and her crying when she left for SF. Despite the wensday before the weekend she stopped talking to me, we had spent half an hour on the phone talking about how much we missed each other and wanted to spend the weekend together.

The only conclusion I can reach is that while I loved her, she didn't really love me. I was just a convenient teacher and partner, to be lied to and stringed along until something more convenient was available. And sometime between wendsay afternoon and friday evening a month ago, she found that something.

Then, rather than have the basic respect and courtesy to TELL me it was over, she started ignoring me. I can't feel jellous of her new Master, after all they are going to go through the same ordeal when she finds somebody "better" or tires of the relationship. But I can feel spiteful of the disrespectful lying little bitch.

And here is the thing: I have it in my power to royaly fuck up her life. Legally. A few words in the right ears, some time on the computer, and she will be without any friends or prospects for a good life. The only problem is: I'm not a vindictive person by nature (despite being a Dom)...I usually let karma do all the work.

So that is the point of this post. Who out there wants to share thier faithless sub/slave experiences, and what they did about it?

< Message edited by Strutinan -- 10/2/2006 9:26:35 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 9:29:24 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Well, sharing my experience would require me to type something long, but I can tell you what I did about it--that's easier. I got rid of her.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Strutinan

Who out there wants to share thier faithless sub/slave experiences, and what they did about it?

(in reply to Strutinan)

Post #: 2

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 9:34:13 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

And here is the thing: I have it in my power to royaly fuck up her life. Legally. A few words in the right ears, some time on the computer, and she will be without any friends or prospects for a good life. The only problem is: I'm not a vindictive person by nature (despite being a Dom)...I usually let karma do all the work.

I was squicked by this... it looks like a veiled threat to me, perhaps I am completely wrong here... but your post sounded like someone stalking another person after they decided they did not want to see you anymore. Her friends will not clue you in, why? Because perhaps they see you as a stalker type too?

That passage I quoted, if she posts here and can recognize herself in the the description if I were her I would take this as a threat and report you to the authorities for stalking and threats...

I had a real life boyfriend stalk me and my former dominant over the internet.. it was not fun, and this reminds me a great deal of it... veiled threats under aliases.....

If you are not a stalker, well my bad, but it reads that way to me... and if this girl posts here I hope she doesn't take your shit

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Strutinan)

Post #: 3

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 9:34:37 PM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Strutinan

And here is the thing: I have it in my power to royaly fuck up her life. Legally. A few words in the right ears, some time on the computer, and she will be without any friends or prospects for a good life. The only problem is: I'm not a vindictive person by nature (despite being a Dom)...I usually let karma do all the work.

Even if she did you wrong, you have to put it in context and not equate it to royally fucking up her life to get even. Just blow it off, find another. Life moves on.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to Strutinan)

Post #: 4

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 9:36:26 PM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

Ahhh, Julia, what is that thing when you do when you say the same thing at the same time? :) You beat me to it. The same portion of the post bothered me.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 5

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 9:40:59 PM

Strutinan

Posts: 17
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

Even if she did you wrong, you have to put it in context and not equate it to royally fucking up her life to get even. Just blow it off, find another. Life moves on.

That is what I am trying to do, like I said: karma usually takes care of this kind of behavior. That is why, despite what juliaoceania assumes, I am NOT going to "stalk" her or any shit like that. But the temptation to do somethign to "get back" at her IS great, which is the reason I posted this topic: to see what others in similar situations have gone through and thus have the solace of not being alone.

If she wants to live her life like a lying bitch, let her. In the end she will find herself in some bad situation somewhere, with no friends or anybody who cares about her wellbeing. Knowing that is revenge enough for me, but the pain of the loss remains.

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 6

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 9:41:25 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Jinx?...lol...I could be wrong.

I went through someone messaging psycho things about my dominant to me and about me to others.. it was a lot like this. He called my dominant a wife beater...swore he had records on him... it was weird and it was untrue of course.

My guess is this girl posts here and will read this and get the threat, and if I am wrong I am wrong...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 7

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 9:45:20 PM

Strutinan

Posts: 17
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

My guess is this girl posts here and will read this and get the threat, and if I am wrong I am wrong...

You are wrong, on both counts. She doesn't post here (or much of anywhere, being almost a luddite), and no threat was intended.

After all, if I WANTED to threaten her I would not have deleted her e-mail, snail-mail, phone number, and pictures from my computer. And I most certainly wouldn't be posting a "threat" someplace I know she isn't aware of, and would avoid since her BS would be far too obvious should she become a regular.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 8

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 10:31:02 PM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

quote:

I'm not a vindictive person by nature (despite being a Dom)

Being dominant doesn't equate to being vindicitive ...being vindictive is a weakness.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to Strutinan)

Post #: 9

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 10:40:28 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

Find somebody else. Honestly.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to Strutinan)

Post #: 10

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 10:44:55 PM

SadistCpl4fslv

Posts: 77
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline

well well julia.....we finally found something we can agree upon without insulting each other and I had to break my silence to say it :)
I did vow not to post to the forums any longer because it is too easy for me to become frustrated and then vent in undesirable ways. However, this is an issue that is very near and dear to my heart because we went through exactly the same thing you and Sinergy did. 7 years ago we met a "Dom" online that lived in our area and after a couple of real life meetings, it was very evident that not only was he of very undesirable character, he also tried to take advantage of my wife without my knowledge or her consent. When we broke our association with him, he did the same thing you refered to as having been done to you. He spread rumors all over the chat rooms and message boards that I was beating my wife, holding her against her will, ect... We ended up loosing a few friends over the matter, or shall I say people that we thought were friends, but those who knew us well blew the jerk off. The short of it was that this guy turned out to be real criminal scum. After stalking and threatening several submissives in the area, scamming several others out of thousands of dollars, he was later arrested on fraud and get this........CHILD PORN. He is now serving time in prision thank gawd!!!

Strutinan.....I don't know you from Adam so perhaps all that you have said could be exactly as it happened. However, your rants and vents over this girl looks so suspiciously like the kinds of things this schmuck pulled on us. Some of what you have posted is almost word for word what he posted as well. So it all gives me pause and sends up a palithura of red flags. If you are not a vendictive person, why would you go out of your way to post the dirty laundry of this past relationship unless you ARE trying to get even with this girl for not loving you anymore? Get a grip friend. This happens all the time in all relationships and I dare to say that the vast majority of those on CM have had similar relationships in the past. If you are so concearned about knowing if you are the only one, let me tell you that you certainly are not. But I suspect that you already knew that before you even made this post. No offense, but after our experience if I knew you in real and you told me what you could do to this girl to"fuck" her life up, I would be advising people to run as far as they could away from you!!

(in reply to Strutinan)

Post #: 11

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 10:45:18 PM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

It's so hard to do what you know is the right thing - to walk away, without having the last word, or getting closure. I've seen this from the other side - a Dom who just cut off contact when he apparently lost interest in me, or found someone better - I'll never know. And it hurt like hell, and it still does, and I'd have dealt with it so much better if I'd had that last contact, a chance to ask why, and to say goodbye properly.

But that's life, right? At least we had the good times too. And my current Dom is wonderful, and I'm having a great time, and that's what counts.

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 12

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 10:47:02 PM

Strutinan

Posts: 17
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

quote:

I'm not a vindictive person by nature (despite being a Dom)

Being dominant doesn't equate to being vindicitive ...being vindictive is a weakness.

I've found that people expect it, which is an understandible confusion. Most of the other Doms I know IRL are vindictive, I think it is something that attracted them to the lifestyle to begin with - the opportunity to be an asshole. Of course, I don't hang out with these people (or much of anybody in the scnee since I moved).

But take a look at the running gag that my assumed "threat" has resulted in. Despite in the original post saying that even though I could be a jerk, I wouldn't despite the temptation, and it has lead to multiple posts ignoring everything else in favor of complaining about a non-issue. It is similar to people complaining about somebody being a kleptomaniac for saying "I could steal, the temptation and ability is there, but I wouldn't. Has anybody else had similar experiences, and how did you deal with it?"

So I guess being vindictive is an expected trait for Dom/Masters here as well. Am I missing something, or did I just not get the memo? The Doms, Dommes, and Masters/Mistresses I learned from and knew in Arizona were some of the most kind-hearted and caring people you could ever hope to meet. It wasn't until I left Arizona a year later that I started comming accross "asshole" types.

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 13

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 10:53:16 PM

zumala

Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline

I've experienced some scary shit as well in the past. All I can say for certain is this - if you aren't vindictive or making threats, then those things are NEVER even mentioned. Period. They just don't factor into a normal person's thought pattern.

zuma

(in reply to Strutinan)

Post #: 14

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 10:54:00 PM

LASub4Real

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

I’m sure that the most common answer will be “nothing.”

This happens to everybody. OK it’s not polite, it’s not mature but it happens. The thing is that it hurts and of course, the juvenile thing to do is to try and hurt her back. But that would be a waste of time and energy. Why don’t you use that to find someone else.

LAsub

(in reply to Strutinan)

Post #: 15

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:00:03 PM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zumala

I've experienced some scary shit as well in the past. All I can say for certain is this - if you aren't vindictive or making threats, then those things are NEVER even mentioned. Period. They just don't factor into a normal person's thought pattern.

zuma

I suppose I'm not normal, but they have definitely factored into my thought patterns in the past. However, you are absolutely correct. They should never be mentioned, especially if there is potential that they will be perceived to contain ill intent. It is just plain unwise.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to zumala)

Post #: 16

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:01:59 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

HMM I wonder if her new Master knows what she did??? I dont know but Id be tempted to let him know... Because it seems this one cant be trusted!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Strutinan)

Post #: 17

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:02:20 PM

Strutinan

Posts: 17
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SadistCpl4fslv

Strutinan.....I don't know you from Adam so perhaps all that you have said could be exactly as it happened. However, your rants and vents over this girl looks so suspiciously like the kinds of things this schmuck pulled on us. Some of what you have posted is almost word for word what he posted as well. So it all gives me pause and sends up a palithura of red flags. If you are not a vendictive person, why would you go out of your way to post the dirty laundry of this past relationship unless you ARE trying to get even with this girl for not loving you anymore? Get a grip friend. This happens all the time in all relationships and I dare to say that the vast majority of those on CM have had similar relationships in the past. If you are so concearned about knowing if you are the only one, let me tell you that you certainly are not. But I suspect that you already knew that before you even made this post. No offense, but after our experience if I knew you in real and you told me what you could do to this girl to"fuck" her life up, I would be advising people to run as far as they could away from you!!

I sympathize with your bad experience, since somethign similar happened to me with a sub a while back that I had to let go when she started committing felonies and tried to get me to alibi her. When I wouldn't she got very vindictive, and after she was locked up I spent three years avoiding the lifestyle for fear of meeting a similar person. Of course it didn't work, you cannot deny your nature, and I spend those three years miserable until I finally gave in to a girl who had found out I was into bdsm and had been begging me for a year to Dom her...never tried going vanilla since.

But the thing you have to admit is that I have not "aired dirty laundry". Other than the fact she is now going to school in SF...you know jack and shit about her. Not her name, not her age, not even a basic description. I have avoided all that on purpose, to prevent just such an accusation. If I was vindictive I would be here trying to get back at her by telling people exactly who she was and lying my ass off about what she did.

But I am not. I had that done to me shortly after moving to Cali, and I would not wish that on anybody else...not even a lying faithless bitch. All I have tried is to vent a bit, and to share horror stories with people who have had similar experiences. I've tried to "connect" with people, so that I can let the emotional wound heal over by talking about it while not BITCHING about it, what exactly is so horribly wrong with that? Evidently something, since about half the posts so far are people complaining about it.

(in reply to SadistCpl4fslv)

Post #: 18

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:06:52 PM

Strutinan

Posts: 17
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LASub4Real

I’m sure that the most common answer will be “nothing.”

This happens to everybody. OK it’s not polite, it’s not mature but it happens. The thing is that it hurts and of course, the juvenile thing to do is to try and hurt her back. But that would be a waste of time and energy. Why don’t you use that to find someone else.

LAsub

I am. That is why I am here, an acquaintance suggested it as the perfet place to vent a bit and sooth a broken heart. So far though, I'd have to say my assessment on both counts is ambivalent at best.

(in reply to LASub4Real)

Post #: 19

RE: Faithless sub/slaves - 10/2/2006 11:07:22 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

People Honestly please ok... He is hurt and came here to vent which many of us here have done befor, he is already been lied to cheated on and hurt by this girl why rub salt in an open sore!!! How about a LITTLE compation for his pain!!! I know this is a free forum and people can respond as they wish but please keep in mind how you would want to be responded to if this was you with the broken heart!!!

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 10/2/2006 11:09:34 PM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Strutinan)

Post #: 20

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