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What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 12:51:48 PM

Jasmyn

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And for women... what is it about being a dominant woman that you love?

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 1:04:38 PM

Samwhiplash

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Ohhh easy. I love it that I can just be me and not have to keep any of it in.

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 1:11:11 PM

Jasmyn

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lol ...gotta love those kind of perks

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 1:17:38 PM

Lashra

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I can be me, in charge and not have to deal with the drama that comes with alot of men. I say this is the way things are deal with it or you can leave.

~Lashra

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 1:38:37 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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As Sam said, for me, it is easier to be myself without always editing my thoughts/words. I'm definitely clearer when I speak to someone now, and more comfortable in my skin since learning that I was never made to fit in the "woman submissive" social round hole.
Than there's the perk of using my male lover as my toy.

M

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 1:43:39 PM

Jasmyn

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quote:

not have to deal with the drama that comes with alot of men.

lol not that subs don't come with their own dramas ;)

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 1:47:12 PM

underlimited

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What i love about Dominant Women?

Very simple. They seem to know what they want, and no drama! :)
A Woman who knows what she wants..... that's the Woman i want to be with.

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 1:56:19 PM

Jasmyn

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quote:

As Sam said, for me, it is easier to be myself without always editing my thoughts/words. I'm definitely clearer when I speak to someone now, and more comfortable in my skin since learning that I was never made to fit in the "woman submissive" social round hole.

I read a headline the other day that said dominant, independent women were more likely to end up alone and unpartnered than their more forgiving counterparts and it made me wonder how this panned out in the bdsm world.

If you don't mind me asking M, are you finding dominance a hinderance or a help? ;)

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"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 1:57:25 PM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

And for women... what is it about being a dominant woman that you love?

The ability to get what I want and how I want it AND do what I want as I want when I want with one relationship in this world. It is certainly not how the rest of the world works. Or I can get my way with logical discussion, ignoring others, or just plain being bitch but I find all of that quite tiring at times.

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 2:36:50 PM

LaTigresse

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I enjoy that I can be strong, in charge, run things my way and still not be rude or crass. I find it is much less frustrating. I can enjoy being a woman in everything it means to me, yet not sacrifice the very core of who I am.

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 2:52:49 PM

MistressDolly

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I like to control, discilpline and nurture - all in equal measure.

I like to push and expand boundaries.

I like to be trusted.

I also like to be the ring leader - the person to create and execute a scene which sends him to subspace.

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 4:33:11 PM

Lashra

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I don't have any with mine, though I am sure there are some out there who do.

~Lashra

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 5:23:54 PM

MsKatHouston

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I love getting into the head of my submissive. The kink is great but you can get kinky sex even with nillas...well up to a certain point ;) but it's the mental aspect I love so much.

As others have stated, I can be myself...and all that that entails.

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 5:56:42 PM

dicipline2

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I enjoy the confidence of dominant women. Women who are not afraid to express themselves sexually with you or bother you with insecurities like "am I pretty?" (*chuckles* for the millionth time yes!).

I enjoy women who arent afraid to grab a handful of your ass and smother you with a kiss when she wants. I enjoy women who know what they want and will try to get it from you.

I love the openness and the feeling that nothing is forbidden, nothing is secret.

that relationship is sacred...

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 8:00:48 PM

WetHotGoddess

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I love being able to say what I think without sugar coating it. I love having people I can depend on.

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/8/2006 10:12:44 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn
I read a headline the other day that said dominant, independent women were more likely to end up alone and unpartnered than their more forgiving counterparts and it made me wonder how this panned out in the bdsm world

It is true that dominant women scare a great deal of men. I have always been told I am intimidating by simply standing there, but that is neither here nor there. I no longer feel the need to act more flaky to make anyone comfortable. I treat everyone with courtesy and respect, and expect the same. I believe the very first rule of being a dominant babe, is to be comfortable in your skin, and know that a penis on hand (or anywhere else) doesn't make you less or more of a woman... That statement is made with due respect to bi/lesbian ladies; I only speak in hetero terms because that is my experience, and from where I make the majority of my observations.

quote:

If you don't mind me asking M, are you finding dominance a hinderance or a help? ;)

It is only in hinderance in that I'm less likely to accept random dates with men I recognize to be dominant, or worse, domineering. It isn't impossible for me to date a dominant if he is a kind gentleman who treats his lady like my dad treated women (with chivalry/respect/care).   Domineering manly man however, I stay far away from, because we get along like a house on fire.

Do I get any less action/proposals?   No.  In fact, I think men find me more interesting now that I'm less shy and apologetic. My ex husband would cut off his right arm to be with me again, knowing I am as bad as I am now, LOL.   I could still rival Liz Taylor with the marriage/divorce thing if I didn't put the acceptance of it on hold.   My difficulty has only been in finding a ("SINGLE" lol) submissive gentleman with whom the chemistry is just right (kink wise/physical), and the commitment to long term is similar to mine.

The bottom line is that finding a potential life partner is hard work, requiring self awareness and openness to commitment on both sides. What I have found among would be submissive men is a divorce between their desire to love/submit, and their acceptance/love of that desire to make it everyday life without worrying that it makes them look a weakling/sinner/whatever other issues they come with.
Does being dominant make me less marriage material? Yes, only because it makes me more specific in knowing with whom I would have long term potential vs the same old mistakes.   Besides marriage really is an institution, and I don't want to be committed if he isn't obedient, loving, kind, democrat, and a good match for me physically and spiritually. I hope that answers your question.

M

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/9/2006 3:21:08 AM

mons

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greetings

the power exchange, my cofident to know i can have any man i want that power, but i also find that along with this power i have a gentle way i do not have to throw it around so show who i am it great one look a glance that is all i need

mons

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/9/2006 5:59:06 AM

lunamor

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I love the trust, and the adoration. Yes, it can also come in a vanilla rapport but it's deeper and more satisfying to me when it's a mistress/slave relationship. There are fewer power struggles, and when they come up they are talked about and handled very openly. A unique but very positive aspect is my right (and duty) to punish -and when possible, forgive- for wrongdoing. I can close a problem in a "clean" way and we can get on with our relationship without bitterness or unspoken resentment afterwards (often a cause of things going sour in a vanilla relationship).

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/9/2006 7:26:16 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dicipline2

I enjoy the confidence of dominant women. Women who are not afraid to express themselves sexually with you or bother you with insecurities like "am I pretty?" (*chuckles* for the millionth time yes!).

I'm sorry but I've never know a dominant woman or a dominant man for that matter who didn't have some insecurities especially when they start off.

I'd say that if you've never had a dominant express any insecurities with you that maybe you haven't been as close to one as you think. Getting closer whether you are dom or sub, top or bottom, means also being vulnverable and that will open up insecurities over time. Everyone has days when they don't feel perfect I don't think it has anything to do with being kinky or vanilla, or seuxal orientation, or scene role. Some folks may feel more or less comfortable letting the others in their lives know they feel that way.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: What is it about being a dominant woman that you love? - 10/9/2006 8:11:21 AM

dicipline2

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now, nothing and I mean nothing, is absolute in this world. I understand that dominants have insecurities, they are human. I am saying that dominant women tend to have less insecurities and that proves another point. Dominant women tend not to be afraid to share their insecurities or at least less likely to harbor them for long periods of time.

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