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Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 12:20:25 AM

AngelfaceDallas

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Joined: 6/14/2006
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I was told by a dom that during a rape scene...he can do whatever he wants, and said anal is expected. Is this true?

What are everyone's thoughts about this?

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 12:28:22 AM

gypsylee

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelfaceDallas

I was told by a dom that during a rape scene...he can do whatever he wants, and said anal is expected. Is this true?

What are everyone's thoughts about this?

uh. *frowns* i dunno what to think. i don't really know the rape scene protocol *cough*

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 12:31:20 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelfaceDallas
I was told by a dom that during a rape scene...he can do whatever he wants, and said anal is expected. Is this true?

What are everyone's thoughts about this?

I think it's a typical case of someone trying to scare and shame you into getting what they want.

No matter what the scene is, everyone agrees to everything. You may make an agreement such as "Some day in the next year you may take me by surprise and I may fight against you and you may fuck me anally" but you've still MADE the agreement.

Anyone who suggests they can disregard your consent or not do things without consent is just someone you don't want to be around.

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 12:57:46 AM

windstorm

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Joined: 10/12/2006
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as long as the scene is consensual, then yes you can do anything. however if a sub has a problem, then a safeword must be uttered as to discuss, if not stop, the scene immediately. if the Dom refuses to honor the safeword, then the sub ought not to play with the jerk ever again.

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 1:00:30 AM

gypsylee

Posts: 293
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From: Melbournia, Australia
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isn't a "rape scene" a bit of an oxymoron?

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 1:02:40 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsylee
isn't a "rape scene" a bit of an oxymoron?

It's one of the "non consensual consent" type scenes.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 1:05:28 AM

gypsylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It's one of the "non consensual consent" type scenes.

*giggles* okay. cheers LA.

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 1:06:16 AM

yessir07

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Joined: 10/27/2005
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Definately not Ok.
LA is right, he is trying to guilt you into something you don't want because he's an asshole.
A "dom" does not have total control over your life or your body (unless of course you have given that to him, which you clearly haven't). I am guessing you are somewhat new to the lifestyle by your question, so if you have questions hang out on the forum and you'll learn a lot. Don't let some 'experienced' person try and tell you what the rules are. The rules are up to you and your partner to define. So if you don't want anal its an absolute no. Besides, anal sex is something you need to work your way up to GENTLY - if you're first experience with that is like...a rape scene i doubt that 'gentle' will be a part of it.
Drop him or tell him how its going to be, and if he doesn't agree don't do the scene.

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 1:11:31 AM

Iskander

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I think the only non-consentual thing in such a scene would be the type of music the 'rapist' can play, so be sure not to pick someone who's into chipmunk songs for example... Well unless that happens to float your boat...

Iskander...

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 1:13:50 AM

gypsylee

Posts: 293
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From: Melbournia, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Iskander

I think the only non-consentual thing in such a scene would be the type of music the 'rapist' can play, so be sure not to pick someone who's into chipmunk songs for example... Well unless that happens to float your boat...

Iskander...

and here i am controlling myself so as not to say silly things!

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 2:20:57 AM

koimizu

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Ahh...have to love that, absolutely love that mentality of a non-con scene meaning 'well a real rapist wouldn't care what you think would they?!'

*note the use of they not specifically 'he' since i believe women can rape as well as men. Go Women's Lib!*

However the fact that it is a rape Scene and not an actual sexual accosting means...things previously agreed upon should be respected and if a Dom wants to get rough and ready with your tenderness, he should also be prepared to have an explanation on hand when the cops show up for battery and sexual assault.

You're not his and frankly with that outlook of a sub/slave, i am frightened for the little one that becomes his.

Just to keep things balanced....gods there are days being kind sucks monkey nuts....

If his intention was to introduce you to anal by way of lube and a small toy during the peak of the scene...perhaps he's not a complete gibblethead. Such introduction could be fun and also less traumatic than assumed since the fact you two even discussed a rape scene means the thought of one potentially makes you too slippery to ride on a bike safely.

Either way, your safety and well being in all ways is the most important thing.

Safe Journeys

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 3:02:35 AM

Quivver

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It's ~ true ~ if ya want it to be.............

sigh

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 3:09:44 AM

TheWord

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What kind of man is that Q?

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 3:12:21 AM

Quivver

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Humm, well Word... I wasnt so much refering to the ~man~ in general as I was to that over rated meaning of ~ True ~.
Anything is ~ true ~ if you want it to be, and it seems that's something the OP has yet to discover.

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 3:12:22 AM

AmazonInk

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Have to agree with what has been said here already.

A rape scene is a thing that can be so fraught with 'issues', it really should be worked out before hand. As with any scene, but particularly here... Limits should be discussed and agreed before hand (find out about hard and soft limits, if you haven't already, and really think about what yours are). And because, this seems to be new to you, and therefore you may not honestly KNOW what your limits are or will be, fantasy and real happenings can be such different things! Make sure that safe words are agreed and stuck to.

The simplest ones are:
"Green" means {Oh yes, keep it coming} (this is rarely needed, but can be useful if a Dom/me is unsure about your responses and needs reassurance, it happens!)
"Amber" means {not quite sure about this, getting close to a limit or just over it, but keep going til I tell you otherwise}
"Red" means {OK, I'm telling you otherwise now, STOP!}

If this Dom won't comply with your hard limits (anal penetration, or the kind of anal penetration he has in mind, if that is one of yours) and agree with safe words so you can find your limits, and push your boundaries while feeling safe too, DON'T PLAY WITH HIM

Perhaps this is fairly elementary stuff to most here, but it's good to hear it refreshed every so often

Ms. Amazon

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Beir Bua!

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 5:11:08 AM

becca333

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Anal is great, but it HAS to be done carefully and gently. If you want to try anal, I really don't advise you to get your introduction during rape-play.

And that Dom sounds like a total and complete creep. But I don't want to be judgemental, maybe he's just an insecure twerp trying to con a newbie into something that none of the subs who know him would fall for.

(in reply to AmazonInk)

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 5:23:52 AM

Kalira

Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelfaceDallas

I was told by a dom that during a rape scene...he can do whatever he wants, and said anal is expected. Is this true?

What are everyone's thoughts about this?

It depends on what the two of you negotiate for the scene. If anal is agreed upon,then yes; if not, then no.

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We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
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Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 6:42:45 AM

toservez

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Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
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Well without any deatails I agree with everyone else. Obviously if anal is a limit of yours then it has to be 100% resepected and there are no loopholes. In addittion, if you have never had anal or very new to it, a rape scenario is a very very bad place to introduce it.

I have to infer that you are talking to this Dom about a casual or theoretical thing and not in some committed relationship and for him to try to guilt you into something or to talk in such absolute if you have expressed not wanting it is quite bad and a big red flag. I for one would have trouble trusting such a man, but again without context this could mean nothing.

There are no such things as loopholes for a person not to be respected in their wishes.

(in reply to Kalira)

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 6:48:28 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelfaceDallas

I was told by a dom that during a rape scene...he can do whatever he wants, and said anal is expected. Is this true?

What are everyone's thoughts about this?

uh. *frowns* i dunno what to think. i don't really know the rape scene protocol *cough*

*spits out the morning coffee, snickering* And dare I suggest NOT calling the local police to ask them?

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Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: Rape Scenerio - 10/16/2006 6:50:08 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsylee
isn't a "rape scene" a bit of an oxymoron?

It's one of the "non consensual consent" type scenes.

Yep, and dare I suggest that consensual non-consent scenes should be done by folks who are seasoned in verbal and non-verbal communication with one another, who have been enlightened with routine BDSM play to where they understand what protocol is, safe play, effective negotiations and safety is??????

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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