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RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 1:31:22 PM   
twicehappy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


I don't understand that behavior when in relationships with people you FULLY choose to control having in your life or not.


Me either though i feel i should elaborate.
 
If Jewel puts something on and asks" does make me look fat (she is not by the way) i would have no difficulty answering her by saying "yes, that color with those stripes makes you look fat", she would do the same for me. No hurt feelings anywhere.
 
If it is a touchy subject much like LA said i usually will say something to one of my friends like "You already know my opinion but if you want to hear it any way remember you asked".
 
In the dirt club i road with there was a guy i always called "Asshole", he was your typical superior male, he never failed to stick his foot in his mouth whenever he opened it, he caused one of my best bike wrecks by going the wrong way on a track, he heard "fuck you R*****" from me on a daily basis. He affectionately referred to me as "that bitch" or "the rattlesnake".
 
Was he my friend? Hell yes! I would do anything for him i could and he would do the same for me. When he ripped himself open on some thorn vines i sewed him up on my back porch, when i got lost on the trail one day he was the first to start looking for me. He ate lunch at my house every Sunday for near twenty years; we never missed giving each other Christmas gifts.
 
Why? Because each of us knew, accepted and respected the other exactly the way we were. No holds barred, none needed. 
 
I could have called him you wonderful guy but he'd have known i was lying. He could have called me sweet thing but i'd have probably fed him his teeth.
 
If my mother bought a hideous couch and ask me what i thought i would say something like "Mom, i think it is awful which means i know you love it and it does suit the rest of your decor perfectly. Did you get a good buy on it?"
 
I'd still be being totally honest and her feelings would not be hurt because she knows me.
 
These are all people i choose to keep in my life, i do not, nor do i ever feel the need to, lie to them.

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 10/17/2006 1:53:56 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 2:22:53 PM   
agirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
I KNEW that if she kept going at the rate she was, it wouldn't be long before she'd spot the changes. My aim was to keep her going long enough to do that. I was happy to fib and will happily fib again to obtain that result.

agirl 

Relationships with relatives/coworkers/civil servants/anyone you do not consciously and willfully choose to spend social time with are a completely different context from what I am discussing.  Trust me, the rules of tact, manipulation, lying, withholding information at will, social grease and avoidance are in FULL play when it comes to those relationships for me.

I don't understand that behavior when in relationships with people you FULLY choose to control having in your life or not.


I can see that.

I , however, do have a fairly full range of emotions when involved with people in my life......and being *blood-related* doesn't mean they have any less of them than a friend may do. I choose the level of closeness, compassion, empathy that I have with/for my Mum, daughter etc. It's not a necessity borne out of blood. I do consciously spend social time with them.

I don't really want to restrict myself to interaction that HAS to involve brutal honesty at all times. As I said, friendships for me don't all exist on the same plane. Some will welcome it, some would be crushed by it......intimacy and knowledge temper it.

agirl













(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 2:33:33 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
I don't really want to restrict myself to interaction that HAS to involve brutal honesty at all times. As I said, friendships for me don't all exist on the same plane. Some will welcome it, some would be crushed by it......intimacy and knowledge temper it.

agirl

For me it's not a restriction- it's a necessity.  For me it's the only way I know how to love someone and be their friend.

Again, might be why I really don't have many friends.

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RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 2:44:55 PM   
agirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

[
For me it's not a restriction- it's a necessity.  For me it's the only way I know how to love someone and be their friend.

Again, might be why I really don't have many friends.


Yes. I don't understand this myself, as I don't *love* everyone I am friends with, nor do I need to...... but can still be friends.

agirl

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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 2:56:43 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


I don't understand that behavior when in relationships with people you FULLY choose to control having in your life or not.


Me either though i feel i should elaborate.
 

If my mother bought a hideous couch and ask me what i thought i would say something like "Mom, i think it is awful which means i know you love it and it does suit the rest of your decor perfectly. Did you get a good buy on it?"
 
I'd still be being totally honest and her feelings would not be hurt because she knows me.
 
These are all people i choose to keep in my life, i do not, nor do i ever feel the need to, lie to them.


Yes.........your Mum knows you and you know her. That is your situation and reality, so you behave the way you choose to, with that intimacy and knowledge. I don't NEED to lie.....I CHOOSE to.. because with my intimacy and knowledge, I know it serves some of my relationships and situations better.......in my reality.

You know......... most of the time it really isn't necessary.

agirl

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 3:14:17 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		Reading this thread reminds me of a book i had to read in college called "The City of Truth" by Morrow, i believe is the author.  In this book, no one could lie about anything, or it was punishable by law.  So, if you weren't really sincere for example, at the end of the letter you just wrote, you would have to sign it as "almost sincerly", or "half heartedly sincere" or things of that nature to indicate the honest level, else it would be subject to the laws for that category of lying....just imagine...
 
i know i am pretty much transparent to those whom i have opened up to in my friendships as well as my intimate relationships.  We each believe in the same principles, honesty cements our bond and lies will eventually end our bond.  There are times i know that i may be brutally honest, but for those that know my heart and my intentions, they have taken the time to understand me and the way my heart/mind works and thinks.  i don't believe that i would be happy knowing folks are lying to me about things that i may need to do some work on. i wouldn't want my friends to sugar coat my issues, for there would be no mutual benefit in that type of interaction.  On the other hand, i will only surround myself with those who can take my honesty, as it is a big part of me. 
 
There were also times when i wish i was a bit better at phibing though! LOL!  It would have saved my ass on more than one occasion. *grin

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 4:20:58 PM   
twicehappy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Yes.........your Mum knows you and you know her. That is your situation and reality, so you behave the way you choose to, with that intimacy and knowledge. I don't NEED to lie.....I CHOOSE to.. because with my intimacy and knowledge, I know it serves some of my relationships and situations better.......in my reality.

You know......... most of the time it really isn't necessary.

 
I do understand those little niceties that make the world go round hon.
 
I was just trying to clear up that the truth does not need be presented hurtfully. And that depending on the relationship even blunt truth can be acceptable.

Good luck to your daughter, losing those baby pounds is a tough thing to do.

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 10/17/2006 4:21:27 PM >

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 5:41:56 PM   
MagiksSlave


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Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		LOL this is something Master wouldnt need to do!!! He always reads my mind I tease him and ask if he likes it in there!!! Also I dont keep stuff from him!! And even if I tried he would know something was up

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 10/17/2006 5:58:31 PM >

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don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


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(in reply to eruditegirl1)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 5:46:05 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

Reading this thread reminds me of a book i had to read in college called "The City of Truth" by Morrow, i believe is the author.  In this book, no one could lie about anything, or it was punishable by law.  So, if you weren't really sincere for example, at the end of the letter you just wrote, you would have to sign it as "almost sincerly", or "half heartedly sincere" or things of that nature to indicate the honest level, else it would be subject to the laws for that category of lying....just imagine...

 
I think this quote brings up a fairly good question, if someone could read your thoughts would it be in pictures, words, a combination of the two? Also, would the emotional value of these thoughts be present? Could the emotional content of the thoughts be even translated? Does this affect whether someone would desire such a device. I thought of this when I read the part of your post about judging how sincere someone is, how can one judge such a thing?

Just my own rambling thoughts interjected here..

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Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 5:49:54 PM   
Rover


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I think this quote brings up a fairly good question, if someone could read your thoughts would it be in pictures, words, a combination of the two?



Mine would be read in braille.
 
John

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Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 5:59:54 PM   
MasterFireMaam


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From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I think this quote brings up a fairly good question, if someone could read your thoughts would it be in pictures, words, a combination of the two?



Mine would be read in braille.
 
John


Thread HIJACK! I just couldn't resist...I'm feeling nerdy tonight. Ok, so I feel nerdy ALL the time. It's a gift. LOL

"Rover" in braille
"John", in braille
The dot at the beginning denotes a capital letter follows it.

BTW, this is the generator I used for my braille brands.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 6:02:36 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		I tried closing my eyes and running my fingertips over them, and couldn't feel a thing.
 
John
 
P.S. - Are you sure they're not dominos?

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"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

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Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 6:10:03 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Geee...I hope not, seeing how I've got them branded on my arms. LMAO
I get asked if it's ASCII a lot. Not only am I a nerd, I work with nerds. ;-)

I can't feel them on my arm either...It's going to take a while to get them to scar enough to be able to do that. I don't scar readily, which can be good or bad, depending.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 6:13:44 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Geee...I hope not, seeing how I've got them branded on my arms. LMAO
I get asked if it's ASCII a lot. Not only am I a nerd, I work with nerds. ;-)

I can't feel them on my arm either...It's going to take a while to get them to scar enough to be able to do that. I don't scar readily, which can be good or bad, depending.

Master Fire




You had "Rover" and "John" branded on your arms?  I'm.... touched. *sniff*
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 6:19:56 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Geee...I hope not, seeing how I've got them branded on my arms. LMAO
I get asked if it's ASCII a lot. Not only am I a nerd, I work with nerds. ;-)

I can't feel them on my arm either...It's going to take a while to get them to scar enough to be able to do that. I don't scar readily, which can be good or bad, depending.

Master Fire




You had "Rover" and "John" branded on your arms?  I'm.... touched. *sniff*
 
John

Did I forget to tell you? Damn.

I have "servant master" on the left and "warrior priestess" on the right. Note that they are lowercase...four less dots I had to endure! LOL

Master Fire


< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 10/17/2006 6:56:19 PM >

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

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Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Transparency button? - 10/17/2006 6:37:29 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		No, I think as human beings we should have access to our own thoughts, people do need privacy even owned ones IMO. However communication is a lesson alot of people could learn and perhaps that is a reason why we don't have transparency buttons, so that we can better learn to communicate with each other.

~Lashra


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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Transparency button? - 10/18/2006 1:04:32 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Yes.........your Mum knows you and you know her. That is your situation and reality, so you behave the way you choose to, with that intimacy and knowledge. I don't NEED to lie.....I CHOOSE to.. because with my intimacy and knowledge, I know it serves some of my relationships and situations better.......in my reality.

You know......... most of the time it really isn't necessary.

 
I do understand those little niceties that make the world go round hon.
 
I was just trying to clear up that the truth does not need be presented hurtfully. And that depending on the relationship even blunt truth can be acceptable.

Good luck to your daughter, losing those baby pounds is a tough thing to do.


Yep....lol. I wonder if my posts sound like I wander around lying willy nilly with no thought whatsoever.....I actually put a lot of thought into whether a fib is likely best, it's less work to be truthful...lol.

As for little sproggette at the gym...... I glance over at her red face as she works away and am really proud of her, especially as I know she has never been a gym-bod like me. It's been hard for her to really stick at it. This weekend she was really excited that she can see the results now.

Thanks for your kind words.

agirl


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Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Transparency button? - 10/18/2006 1:55:58 AM   
Iskander


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Joined: 9/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I think this quote brings up a fairly good question, if someone could read your thoughts would it be in pictures, words, a combination of the two?


I wouldn't have a prob with one of these buttons, it wouldn'y do gl any good, coz being multi lingual I can switch to one she doesn't know...

Iskander...


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Transparency button? - 10/18/2006 2:14:29 AM   
gypsylee


Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iskander

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I think this quote brings up a fairly good question, if someone could read your thoughts would it be in pictures, words, a combination of the two?


I wouldn't have a prob with one of these buttons, it wouldn'y do gl any good, coz being multi lingual I can switch to one she doesn't know...

Iskander...




my thoughts would definitely be in pictures. like some kind of freaky Dali painting. as far as Iskander goes... i don't even wanna know.

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Profile   Post #: 79
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