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How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 1:12:37 AM   
masochistboy


Posts: 24
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Melbourne
Status: offline 		ok...basically i wasted a good 30-40mins talking to a 'Domme' who couldn't speak very good english and lives in Australia. She lost it with me because i didn't refer to Her as 'Mistress <screen name>' - i only addressed Her by Her screen name because i've had Dommes go nuts at me for adding 'Mistress' to Their name when i'm not owned by Them. And i've also been yelled at for not adding Ma'am/Mistress etc...
However, i did ask twice how to address Her but again, the communication barrier was proving a big problem.
my question is, how do You like to be addressed as by Your sub/slave or a sub/slave You've never met?
Do You prefer:
-Ma'am,
-Mistress,
-Miss,
-Miss <Name>,
-Mistress <Name>, or
-<Name>

What would be the best to use to make a good impression? i mean, honestly, i really have no idea now  =\
Thank-You =)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 1:18:26 AM   
devianttastes


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/6/2006
Status: offline 		For myself, I tend to use "Ma'am" if the Dominant hasn't specified a prefered term-of-address. "Mistress" can signify ownership so have learned to avoid that. And if you're polite, respectful but they still have a go at you (note: more than just correct your mistake), look elsewhere. You'll still come a cropper occasionally because someone will be unreasonable but that won't be your fault.

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 1:27:40 AM   
Lordskitten


Posts: 66
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline 		I gotta say NONE of the above.  You shouldnt assume that you need to call that person anything in order to gain their respect.  If they are unable to communicate clearly what they wish to be called, then just talk with respect but drop the formality.  If they freak because you arent giving them the proper title, maybe they arent really someone worth being interested in, since they expect to much from someone they've only recently met. 

So many people have so many different views about what they wish to be called "Miss, Ma'am, Mistress, Goddess, TMAWITW(the most amazing woman in the world ;) heh just made that one up)" i feel it really is best to just leave out all titles until you actually develope a relationship with someone.

(in reply to devianttastes)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 1:29:25 AM   
masochistboy


Posts: 24
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Melbourne
Status: offline 		i've used 'Ma'am' before, but i've been told it makes Domme's feel old.
yes Mistress does signify ownership, but there doesn't seem to be a fair and generic word everyone can use...

(in reply to devianttastes)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 1:30:59 AM   
submaleslaveuk


Posts: 95
Joined: 7/21/2006
From: Manchester UK
Status: offline 		This is a fairly interesting topic and will keep my eye out for the replies. i personally always address them by either name or onscreen name until told otherwise. If the Domme you are chatting to prefers a title i am sure She will be happy to tell you.

i think you just got a little unlucky with that one Woman but hope you find what you are looking for eventually!!

submaleslaveuk
darren
xxox

(in reply to devianttastes)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 1:48:59 AM   
PrincessH


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/16/2005
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline 		Indeed.  I dislike Mistress or Ma'am.  I have chosen Princess.  I also don't mind Goddess ;).  Simply ask my dear...

_____________________________

Princess H
www.DominationNow.com

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 1:55:19 AM   
SaintAllie


Posts: 158
Joined: 3/23/2006
Status: offline 		I prefer Allie myself..



< Message edited by SaintAllie -- 10/18/2006 2:43:15 AM >

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 2:13:18 AM   
cybergoddess


Posts: 24
Status: offline 		I PREEFER TO BE  CALLED GODDESS.. I LIKE  TO BE CALLED  MISTRESS ALSO BUT MISTRESS HAS THE WORD STRESS IN  IT

_____________________________

Cool Whips
&
Chains

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Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 2:47:31 AM   
MistressMaamNH


Posts: 211
Joined: 8/11/2004
Status: offline 		Oh, I like to keep it simple.
"Queen Princess Goddess, Empress of the Universe" works for Me hehe

All kidding aside...I prefer "Ma'am." Not even those that I Own seldom call Me "Mistress." "Ma'am" short for "Madame" seems to work. Pretty much any variation of My screen name works online...I just don't care much for simply "NH" and politely share that information with those who use it when seeking to serve Me.  Basic common courtesy shouldn't be ignored simply because the person is a submissive/slave...note the word "Person" there....because before we are any other label...we are all People who deserve basic respect.

MMNH


_____________________________

Let Me lay you softly, down onto the thorns...

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 3:24:09 AM   
nikaa


Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline 		I prefer Ma'am or simply Nika. I tend to tell those that call me Mistress during a conversation that that title is reserved for those that I own. I have had some call me Miss Nika, which kind of creeps me out because that is what my preschoolers call me so I typically put  a stop that very quickly. *laughs*



_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika


The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.


Wakan Tankan Nici Un




(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 3:53:46 AM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		I don't really have a 'title' ... I use my nickname - Duchess.  They call me that now.  If they make it past my initial interview/interrogation process and move to actual consideration, they call me Diva.  After they are owned ... when they are allowed to speak, they call me Ma'am; always preceeded by the word 'Yes' as they should be responding to my voice, not using theirs without permission.  There are a couple that I trained, that had no clue what my actual name is until their auction *lol*.

I don't like the word ... Mistress



_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to nikaa)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 5:00:10 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		I'm not real big on titles unless I am actually in a scene. Then I prefer Mistress, Lady, or my given name. I've had subs tell me that it makes them uncomfortable to address me by my given name, but I say tough cookies. Its fun to punish them when they stumble over the pronounciation!

And I have to agree 100 percent with Lordskitten. If you don't know how to address them, ASK.
Also, I would be glad you only "wasted" 40 minutes before you found out you weren't interested in this person.



_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to DivaDuchess)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 5:08:47 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		"Lady" and "your Ladyship" are always classy I think.....as long as one has the title for real.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to DivaDuchess)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 5:14:56 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		Ask, "How may I address you?"

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 5:20:03 AM   
demistress


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline 		I prefer being addressed by the title I have presented to them.  If I signed my correspondence with them with "Mistress Heather" or Mizz Heather, or Mistress Spice then I wish to be addressed that way.

In person, out in public, I expect Ma'am.

But I appreciate being asked if the person is unclear.

_____________________________

Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 5:21:14 AM   
demistress


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline 		Oh, yea, sidenote, if they use the phrase "MY _____" before being collared, that is sure to get them in trouble.

_____________________________

Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to demistress)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 5:27:23 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		First of all... never assume anything when it comes to a woman. Any suggestions you get here about what you should say may not apply to the one you say it to. The best policy is to ask them directly... How do you wish to be addressed?

As for this woman going off on you... forget about it. You say you asked her how she wished to be addressed & she didn't reply or didn't understand. It is completely ok to refer to someone byu their screen name online & for her to go off on you because you did so speaks volumes about her character. If she is going to lose it in the virtual realm by gosh I wouldn't want to be around her in the real world... she could be a danger to herself & others.

I'm curious as to what language she spoke. I've had situations come up in the past with people who struggle with english & I have used various translation programs found online. Be warned that these things don't give an exact translation but they might do well enough to get you over the hump when you are struggling to express something correctly. Be sure to link the individual to the same program you use so that they are aware that you are attempting to aide the conversation.  One I can think of right away is www.freetranslation.com




< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 10/18/2006 5:29:43 AM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 5:39:27 AM   
FLsubmalecd


Posts: 143
Status: offline 		My Domme does not like the title of Mistress. Has other meanings that are not complimentary. She likes me to call Her M'Lady. And at appropriate times, like a lecture for something I did or did not do, "Ma'am"is appropriate. But she also likes me to call Her Honey or other sentiments when that is appropriate. And of course by Her name. over use of Mistress or Ma'am does begin to sound redundant and over used to Her and to myself.  The whole point with Her is to always be respectful. and I agree. I would never call any Domme Mistress if she does not own me. For me, I reserve M'Lady for just my Domme. But even in the vanilla world saying Ma'am  always appropriate and respectful. she knows She is a Domme and does not need constant validation from me, the sub that loves Her. I know my place, she knows Her position. Titles are not needed all the time.  To me, She is a Goddess. But i don't call Her that. Another words, I address Her to fit the occasion. If She is exercising Her dominance over me, I address Her as M'Lady or Ma'am. If we are spending time together as a couple, She likes me to drop the formality. The whole point is respect for Her  

_____________________________

"Don't make someone a priority in your life, When you're only an option in theirs"

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 5:54:53 AM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masochistboy

ok...basically i wasted a good 30-40mins talking to a 'Domme' who couldn't speak very good english and lives in Australia. She lost it with me because i didn't refer to Her as 'Mistress <screen name>' - i only addressed Her by Her screen name because i've had Dommes go nuts at me for adding 'Mistress' to Their name when i'm not owned by Them. And i've also been yelled at for not adding Ma'am/Mistress etc...
However, i did ask twice how to address Her but again, the communication barrier was proving a big problem.
my question is, how do You like to be addressed as by Your sub/slave or a sub/slave You've never met?
Do You prefer:
-Ma'am,
-Mistress,
-Miss,
-Miss <Name>,
-Mistress <Name>, or
-<Name>

What would be the best to use to make a good impression? i mean, honestly, i really have no idea now  =\
Thank-You =)



This is indeed an interesting question...one I'm sure that's been asked before but fun nonetheless. 

To the OP, I've gotten the same kind of guff using 'Ma'am' but I still use it as a generic address.  If the person I'm talking with gets bent out of shape about it (or any other form of address) I just click the 'Hide' button and scream out, "Be gone!". 

Oddly enough, it seems to work. 

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to masochistboy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How do Dommes prefer to be addressed? - 10/18/2006 5:55:30 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		I prefer Ma'am or my name.  I hate the term "Miss".  I would call her by her nickname and ask how she would like to be addressed.  I too, dislike use of Mistress unless someone is owned by me.  Every one has different tastes as indicated in this thread.  You just have to ask :)

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)
Profile   Post #: 20
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