RE: Love. Actually? (Full Version)

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Noah -> RE: Love. Actually? (10/23/2006 3:32:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Love sucks and thats all i have to say [:'(]


Did I just hear the pot call the kettle a bad name?



topcat -> RE: Love. Actually? (10/23/2006 4:24:17 PM)

In the words of the Indomitable MizSuz:

"Love is a Verb."



Blancehe -> RE: Love. Actually? (10/23/2006 5:20:12 PM)

what happened?



Blancehe -> RE: Love. Actually? (10/23/2006 5:23:42 PM)

ORIGINAL: topcat



quote:

ORIGINAL: JerseyKrissi72

TreSwank has a wonderful warm smile and looks so innocent..makes you wanna just cuddle him so!![:)]



I second the motion- except I want to make him cry....

__________
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank

All you would have to do is ask me to look at my flaccid pecker.
___________________



HEY! I wouldn't do that! I am a Sadist, but yanno, not a Meanie...



LadyEllen -> RE: Love. Actually? (10/26/2006 4:26:56 PM)

Firstly, many thanks to all those who expressed concern, both here and on the other side. Your thoughts are much appreciated.

I have taken some time out to consider my situation, and having thought it over I conclude that I am guilty of allowing unrealistic aspirations to come to the fore, having forgotten the important fact, that no matter what I do, what I look like, how I am, whatever treatments and procedures I undertake, or indeed regardless of any other factor under my control, I am TS and therefore not acceptable as a partner to anyone.

That sounds harsh I know, but as I look around I find it to be true. We can all say that we regard the person, and not the label, but the fact is that 99.999% of people would shudder at the thought of introducing a TS girlfriend to family or friends, and whilst lust can be spelt with a T and an S, love cannot. The fact is, that 99.9999% of people would not even bother to find out about the person, because the label TS, like the label disabled, defines that person and informs one all one needs to know. After all, being TS is all I do and think about at all waking moments, the same as disabled people do in relation to their disability - how then could I have the time for a relationship? And the label means inconvenience, in a world where there are sufficient possibilities for a relationship which do not bring with them such inconveniences.

So, the solution for me is to resume my former state of acknowledging that I shall always be alone, and there is therefore not only no reason to aspire for anything more, but that to desire anything to the contrary is simply more painful than to be lonely and an outsider from normal society. It is after all, only the natural unfulfilment of such aspirations which leads to disappointment and depression.

Thanks again
E



polyandry -> RE: Love. Actually? (10/28/2006 5:07:05 AM)

Great topic. But people have tried to define love forever. I say there are many types of love. Some people won't call it love until it's very deep, others call it love when it's just this nice warm fuzzy feeling. You know, some people will say it can't be love unless it's mutual, and if you find out that the other person says they didn't actually love, then it wasn't -- that kind of boggles my mind. Most people will not ever receive or give the unconditional true love from a partner, the type that they receive(d) from their family. (Hopefully. I think at least 1/3rd of people did.) And I believe some people are more capable of loving and being loved than others are. I think most people are capable of acting in a loving manner. And you know, it's easy to think that the girl/guy is shallow and unloving because they are withdrawing sexual favors or something like that. Immature yes, but we are so imperfect. Most people probably do that stuff because they feel like the husband/wife was being unloving first, because of his/her action. I think a huge % of people feel like they have not been loved. Most people desperately want it. I think the less open you are to the possibility, the slimmer your chance becomes of finding it.



polyandry -> RE: Love. Actually? (10/28/2006 5:40:15 AM)

That's not true about TS. There are undoubtedly entire (sections of) forums with lots of people interested in dating a TS. I've personally known people who have dated M2F TS's. There are people who don't look at gender in the way that most of society does, people who prefer someone who is somewhat "both" masculine and feminine, etc.



Kalira -> RE: Love. Actually? (10/28/2006 5:43:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: polyandry

That's not true about TS. There are undoubtedly entire (sections of) forums with lots of people interested in dating a TS. I've personally known people who have dated M2F TS's. There are people who don't look at gender in the way that most of society does, people who prefer someone who is somewhat "both" masculine and feminine, etc.

I agree with Polyandry here. You seem to be concentrating only on a select few who have destroyed your confidence in yourself. Don't let them win.



SirKenin -> RE: Love. Actually? (10/28/2006 6:36:47 AM)

Love exists, but it is entirely too obvious that many people in the world today have no idea what true love actually is.  They can not think beyond themselves and what serves their own best interests.  They thing love is this little fire, this little glow, which of course is simply infatuation.  Once the infatuation goes away, which it pretty much always does, they feel they are no longer in love, that there is no longer any benefit to them, to hell with anyone else, and they walk away.

The reality, of course, is that is not what love is all about.  The definition of true love then?  "Greater love hath no man than than this, than a man lay down his life for his friends".  What does that mean in modern day living?  How does it apply?  You are willing to give up your own life for that of your partner.  This does not simply mean a literal exchange of a life for a life, although I would most certainly do that for My wife in a second, without a second thought.  It encompasses all aspects of life.  It includes giving up your desires for the desires of your partner.  Putting their interests first and foremost in your life, including something as mundane as giving up what you want to watch on TV if they want to watch a different program at the same time.

Many people can not do this?  Why?  Because they are too selfish.  They put themselves first.  Then they insist that there is no such thing as love.  Well of course there is.  They just have no idea what it actually is or how to apply it.



windchymes -> RE: Love. Actually? (10/28/2006 3:04:40 PM)

To the OP, saying you WILL NOT be loved now because you are a TS is really rather finalistic.  Have you tried finding a personal ad site with a section for TS's?  Since you are not the only TS in the world, I can't believe there are others out there looking for love too.



thrall2Freyja -> RE: Love. Actually? (10/29/2006 4:31:55 AM)

TS dating sites - yes. Marvellous places. If you think there are too many "do me" creeps and weirdos here, go put a profile there, the bargain basement for every psycho job going.



windchymes -> RE: Love. Actually? (10/29/2006 7:24:37 AM)

LOL, okay, sorry, bad suggestion!  But my point is, there are OTHERS out there looking for love, too!  But rather than say "I'm not lovable because I'm TS", it might be a better idea to dig in and accept that a lot more frogs may have to be kissed, and then keep trying.  Believe me, there are plenty of straight heteros looking for love for years, too.



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