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stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 1:15:06 PM   
sweetsubie


Posts: 82
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		while in a state of depression and feeling rather insecure on my birthday lastweek i asked my Master for release right now i have no idea what possesed me to do such a stupid thing iv explained myself to Him, begged and pleased with Him but he is still unsure of what action he wants to take, please tell me how i can get my Master back before i completely lose the most important thing in my life.

_____________________________

Sticks and stone may break my bones but whips and chains excite me!
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RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 1:19:49 PM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		It would seem to me that the final say so would be up to him.   No matter what advice is given it's still in his hands, my suggestion is to simply wait it out and no matter the outcome, learn from it, and move forward.

(in reply to sweetsubie)
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RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 1:24:07 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Actions have consequenses.........

Calm yourself.............I can see panic dripping off the screen here.
Heartfelt Repentance, is a start, have you made acts of contrition to Master?
What prevents you from doing this again and again?

Petulance is unbecoming a slave.There ain't nobody out here that can give you the magic bullet for the fix. 

He takes you at your word, and now that ain't your word?  He keeps his agreement and releases you, but what is your agreement? 

Consider if you can afford these things, because; if he takes you back you will have a rough road to hoe to regain anything resembling trust............

The time has come for an entire soul searching, young soul.

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to sweetsubie)
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RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 1:30:28 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		You made your bed and you may have to lie in it. Highly suggest getting the medical help you need for what sounds like bi-polar. If it was something as simple as too much booze then it's up to your master as to what he thinks will make it all better. What you asked for is as serious as it gets. Asking permission to talk to him, begging forgiveness and preparing yourself for whatever happens, including the door being shut in your face or being hung up on.
The crazy idea making the rounds these days is that us dominants actually have hearts, feelings and our own emotions that can be harmed by the inconsiderate...something to consider. Dom in a box hasn't passed inspection yet.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 1:32:45 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Hello sweetsubie,

Right now, you DO know what possessed you to do that........you felt miserable and insecure.  I'm not unfamiliar with the odd self-destructive act myself.

No-one can tell you how to *get your Master back*. Only you and he know how much weight to put on *how and why* you felt the way you did at the time.

Added......... IE...Throwing your collar back every five minutes might be viewed with less understanding than a rare moment.

Take care, agirl


< Message edited by agirl -- 10/22/2006 1:36:15 PM >

(in reply to sweetsubie)
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RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 1:49:48 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		There is no one here that can tell you how to get him back or make him right. That is a matter that has to be addressed between the two of you. It would depend very much upon the particulars of the situation and whether or not there is a repetitive pattern. I can understand his need for time to think....the words you said are not words to be taken lightly or said on a whim....they should require long and deep thought.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to sweetsubie)
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RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 1:51:59 PM   
SlaveAkasha


Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I do feel for you, I really do.  I know when my birthday roles around, sometimes the thoughts that go through my head are not the best ones.
 
Do you know what made you do it?  Was there something going on that day, or was it something you had wanted before, but lacked the courage to do?
 
We all say things we regret, the bad part is that life doesn't come with rewind and we have to just live with what was put out there and hope for the best.  If this isn't a pattern and things were great otherwise, perhaps you talking to him about what you were feeling to make you ask might help him decide.  There was something that triggered this, but only you can know what it was.
 
I hope that things work out for you, there aren't any magic words to fix it.  Just give him time, and be prepared that anything could happen, including not being able to go back.  The thing is, if he does allow you your collar back, this will always be there between you for a long time.  I would look at how that will reflect on the relationship as a whole.  Though past wrongs are forgiven, they are not so easily forgotten.
 
I wish you well,
Akasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to agirl)
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RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 2:10:51 PM   
fantasy69maker


Posts: 86
Joined: 3/27/2004
Status: offline 		I read your post about getting your Dom .The best you can do is the truth tell him what  happened  then tell him you are his to do with as he wishes and hold yourself available to him.At  that  point you simply hold  on an hope. You have broken the  biggest point of trust and he needs to know your heart  has stabilized.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 2:12:10 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I'm not sure I'd pop that in the category of a *wrong*.  It depends entirely on who's hurting who, and why. It's not *wrong* to give your collar back, or express that wish ........it's certainly unfortunate if it's not what you really want.

agirl

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 2:27:12 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		My Daddy has recently taught me one thing, that it really does not matter "why" I do something, or how I "felt" about it... what matters is how I process these things into outcomes. I would suggest that you think about how you processed the events that led to you asking for release and no matter what the outcome you will be less likely to repeat this. We all have negative emotions, we all have reasons for them, but it is how we process and react to them that determines much in this life

I wish you the best, and one thing I have become to believe.. things happen for a reason, try to find that open door if this one closes.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sweetsubie)
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RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 3:01:50 PM   
sintralgasub


Posts: 31
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		My question to you is how long have you been in your relationship with your Master?  Has your relationship been volatile or steadfast? 

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 4:09:08 PM   
nakedbeaver


Posts: 22
Joined: 10/22/2006
Status: offline

wrong place

< Message edited by nakedbeaver -- 10/22/2006 4:10:14 PM >

_____________________________

Respectfully, Brooklyn

~Mold me to Your liking, Bend me to Your will, Guide me with Your hand.~

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 4:26:40 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline
I dreamed you had the patience of a prayer:
you let me memorize your open hand
Before you closed a fist around my hair.

I read a warning written down somewhere:
"Beware the fury of a patient man."
I dreamed you had the patience of a prayer.

I'll swear to the truth if you'll take a dare,
Plead guilty if you'll force me to the stand,
And close a knowing fist around my hair.

Yours is the rhythm of a rocking chair:
Steady as an hourglass spilling sand.
I dreamed your patience would make saints despair.

I've yearned to cringe beneath your level stare.
My wish has been to be at your command-
To kiss the iron fist around my hair.

I've waited for years, searching everywhere,
But only you have made me understand:
Patience in a slave is itself a prayer,
And answered by your fist around my hair.

'Meeting the Master', frontspiece to the book of the same name, by Elissa Wald
[ISBN 0-8021-1596-9]

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to sweetsubie)
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RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 4:33:02 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		And it is appropo that TC should post that.............

It is well said in his sig, there is no remission without blood.........

and you will be awash in it, if he takes you back, or perhaps I miss my guess.

Ron 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 4:36:37 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		It's odd that you asked for release on your birthday. Did he forget your birthday and/or fail to celebrate it with you? If he neglected you on your special day, maybe he should be apologizing to you.

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 4:57:20 PM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		Wow....don't know what to tell ya girl? If I was a Master and you asked me that...you'd be on the first Greyhound out! No if's and's or but's.......

Keep us posted and what the outcome is.......?

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 6:36:14 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		I may or may not agree, depending on the situation. If she devotes her life to making him happy and he can't even show her that he appreciates her on her birthday, then she is not in the wrong. I'd have to hear both sides to be sure, but the fact that she felt that depressed on her birthday doesn't make her dom look very caring.

(in reply to stockingluvr54)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 6:39:05 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		You are making wild assumptions about people you do not know

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 6:40:28 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I may or may not agree, depending on the situation. If she devotes her life to making him happy and he can't even show her that he appreciates her on her birthday, then she is not in the wrong. I'd have to hear both sides to be sure, but the fact that she felt that depressed on her birthday doesn't make her dom look very caring.


Where in the hell do you pull shit out of? I didn't see anywhere on here where she said anything about being unappreciated. You sure do assume an awful lot....and you do it consistently. Did you ever think that just maybe her depression had nothing to do with her Dom.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: stupid girl! - 10/22/2006 6:43:24 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		The lesson here is:  be careful what you ask for.



_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 20
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