RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle?

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cuddleheart50 -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 2:05:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong If you are thinking about leaving the lifestyle..what was the last straw? What irritates you? What defeats your spirit? I TRY to leave it all, for various reasons, but find myself drawn back again and again... The only reason I think about leaving is becasue its so hard to find the right person. But I wont give up, I'm too stubborn..

LotusSong -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 2:10:35 PM)
I think it all is treated like when someone first discovers Santa Claus! After a time they are told that that well.. Santa DID exist..but he's really been misinterpreted over the years. When someone wants to tell them about how Christmas became more commercial than it was intended to be.. and Santa really was only an Icon for the Holiday invented by Coca cola- they go into a great hissy fit because reality doesn't meld well with their concept. I think what bothers me most is the great open door policy where EVERYTHING is acceptable. The weirder the better. Unfortunately, that is what is seen by the public. I just feel so uncomfortable being considered in the same pot as the rest. Not every Domme has her price.. not every Master knows what the hell he is doing.

ToGiveDivine -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 2:16:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong If you are thinking about leaving the lifestyle..what was the last straw? What irritates you? What defeats your spirit? I TRY to leave it all, for various reasons, but find myself drawn back again and again... Well, I dont really think about leaving the lifestyle, because I don't view it as a lifestyle or something to leave or go to in that sense. I have however, thought about pursuing a vanilla relationship as opposed to one based on a power exchange because sometimes I just wish I could be like everyone else you see around. Life seems simpler to me that way. But I know better, and I know an ordinary existance keeps me feeling empty, so the thought always passes. I wouldn't describe myself as disheartened about anything. I'm cursed and I'm blessed, but I wouldn't really change a thing, 'cause I like a little pain mixed with my pleasure. Nothing ever defeats me. Though the constant pissing contests among bdsmers do irritate me. For people into watersports - a pissing contest is a fine worthwhile endeavor - ROFL

diamonddreamlove -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 2:19:25 PM)
Born this way and fighting who i am only makes me unhappy so i will not leave. I might take a break now and then if necessary. I am seeing a Dom i adore but like in anyother relationship poof and it could be gone. Don't think he is like that but then didn't think my husband would die or that health would become a problem or ...... life happens and must be accepted for what it is and controlled if possible. Not just walked away from and expected to resume like nothing happened. But i think the thing that would most likely make me leave this for a time would be the need to take time to be myself after a relationship ended.

Kalira -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 2:21:06 PM)
quote: I think what bothers me most is the great open door policy where EVERYTHING is acceptable. The weirder the better. Unfortunately, that is what is seen by the public. I just feel so uncomfortable being considered in the same pot as the rest. Not every Domme has her price.. not every Master knows what the hell he is doing. I can partly understand where the frustration is coming from. But at the same time I feel like I really have to ask....does it really matter that much what others are doing? Or does it really matter that much how others view you? A good example is the fact that I really enjoy the feeling of being abused...( there is a difference between being abused and feeling abused , I like the feeling ) and yet, society and a good many in the lifestlyle see's this as wrong. It does not stop me from doing what I like, nor do I worry about how others perceive it. Heck, my family does not even understand it, yet their horror over it does not stop me from doing what makes me happy. /shrug maybe I just one of those kind who truly could care less what others thought, I don't know

LotusSong -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 2:30:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kalira I can partly understand where the frustration is coming from. But at the same time I feel like I really have to ask....does it really matter that much what others are doing? Or does it really matter that much how others view you? A good example is the fact that I really enjoy the feeling of being abused...( there is a difference between being abused and feeling abused , I like the feeling ) and yet, society and a good many in the lifestlyle see's this as wrong. It does not stop me from doing what I like, nor do I worry about how others perceive it. Heck, my family does not even understand it, yet their horror over it does not stop me from doing what makes me happy. /shrug maybe I just one of those kind who truly could care less what others thought, I don't know I'll never forget the old man who cam to the public dungeon as I was manning the door one night. He had no teeth which made him difficult to understand. His question was "Can I expose myself here"? I told him that it would be acceptable at a play party and he would have to be a member to attend them. Yep.. that's what we draw.. wankers and a place for the homeless to jerk off. God forbid we make anyone wrong.

Kalira -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 2:32:26 PM)
/shakes head sadly I actually find it quite disheartening that you are feeling so low about this. Wish I could cheer you up, but seeing as how it's not going to happen /shrug Live with your misery

LotusSong -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 2:37:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kalira /shakes head sadly I actually find it quite disheartening that you are feeling so low about this. Wish I could cheer you up, but seeing as how it's not going to happen /shrug Live with your misery Not misery- facing reality. Your time will come.

SlaveAkasha -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 2:42:23 PM)
I think I have moments where I have had to take a bit of a break, but since this is a part of who I am, I couldn't walk away for good. Anything that bothers me about the "lifestyle", are pretty much things that bother me about the vanilla world. I don't like being lied to, or being judged, it's hard to find someone you are compatible with..etc. There really isn't anything that exists here, that doesn't exist there, it just might have another name. Personally, if you give up on this because of frustrations, you might as well throw in the towel on everything, cause something, somewhere, sometime, is going to dishearten you just as much..and there are only so many places to run to. Akasha edited for too many "l's" dang-it

Lorelei115 -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 2:44:40 PM)
What disheartens me about the lifestyle? People who are not accepting of others. People who get angry when their point of view is not considered "right" by EVERYONE. People who have a hard time finding a dom, sub, slave, top, switch, sex partner, etc.. so choose to declare that that particular class of person "does not exist". People who attack others in order to feel better about themselves. Oh, and when I take 30 minutes to write a really long and well thought out response to a thread and it just gets ignored completely in favor of someones humorous quote. That makes me go.. "why bother?"

sharainks -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 2:59:10 PM)
What disheartens me. The rigidity within the lifestyle. It seems like maybe even more so than vanillas many in D/s are in a rut. Doms are this subs are that, so and so must be, must do, must think ---if they really are what they claim to be. Then it also seems that there is a tendency to form relationships based on this aspect and hope that the rest will manage to fall into place. To me you have to mesh as people first then worry about whether you can integrate the lifestyle aspects. If there isn't some basis other than D/s its not much different than basing a relationship on sex alone. People are too complex for that imo. I think thats why there are so many paper collars, 4 month relationships etc.

sissifytoserve -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 3:03:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sharainks What disheartens me. The rigidity within the lifestyle. It seems like maybe even more so than vanillas many in D/s are in a rut. Doms are this subs are that, so and so must be, must do, must think ---if they really are what they claim to be. Ditto. There is alot of closed mindedness and infexibility. "This is the way..and that's it" type of mantra. How boring. Inflexibility and negativity seem to be at a premium with some here.

popeye1250 -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 3:20:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong I think it all is treated like when someone first discovers Santa Claus! After a time they are told that that well.. Santa DID exist..but he's really been misinterpreted over the years. When someone wants to tell them about how Christmas became more commercial than it was intended to be.. and Santa really was only an Icon for the Holiday invented by Coca cola- they go into a great hissy fit because reality doesn't meld well with their concept. I think what bothers me most is the great open door policy where EVERYTHING is acceptable. The weirder the better. Unfortunately, that is what is seen by the public. I just feel so uncomfortable being considered in the same pot as the rest. Not every Domme has her price.. not every Master knows what the hell he is doing. Lotus, that's a very good analogy. I think it is partially people's own fault for expecting a lot more out of WIIWD than in a vanilla lifestyle. Just because you're involved in this it doesn't mean that subs and slaves will be falling at your feet or that you'll be in demand by every Dom/Domme.

LaTigresse -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 3:33:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong I think it all is treated like when someone first discovers Santa Claus! After a time they are told that that well.. Santa DID exist..but he's really been misinterpreted over the years. When someone wants to tell them about how Christmas became more commercial than it was intended to be.. and Santa really was only an Icon for the Holiday invented by Coca cola- they go into a great hissy fit because reality doesn't meld well with their concept. I think what bothers me most is the great open door policy where EVERYTHING is acceptable. The weirder the better. Unfortunately, that is what is seen by the public. I just feel so uncomfortable being considered in the same pot as the rest. Not every Domme has her price.. not every Master knows what the hell he is doing. I will admit that when I first began exploring all of this I had a much grander idea of what it should be like. More mannerly and though I hate to use this way of describing it, old fashioned or old world. More ritualistic and protocols. Some sort of standard. Instead I find just as big a mess as any other group of people if not more so. This is probably why I won't ever join a group. I can create my own standards and way of living what I want. What anyone else wishes to do with their take on how it should be done isn't going to affect me. Life throws enough shit in my fan, I don't need to invite more.

stockingluvr54 -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 3:52:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong If you are thinking about leaving the lifestyle..what was the last straw? What irritates you? What defeats your spirit? I TRY to leave it all, for various reasons, but find myself drawn back again and again... Can't leave it because I can't even get into it....lol (rolling eyes....) One thing is for sure tho.... it would be a waste of hers and my time if I were to try and be happy in another vanilla relationship so that option is out.....

Kalira -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 4:12:44 PM)
quote: Not misery- facing reality. Your time will come. Facing reality? Hmm, no, I think you are giving up. And if that's the road you wish to take, more power to you. However, I live with reality every day; I have had it shoved in my face since I was 22 years old. My time came along way back. I, however, choose to see the good; because it more than outweighs the bad.

windchymes -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 4:17:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lorelei115 Oh, and when I take 30 minutes to write a really long and well thought out response to a thread and it just gets ignored completely in favor of someones humorous quote. That makes me go.. "why bother?" Lorelei......many times I try to inject a little bit of humor for a little comic relief, but it just gets ignored completely in favor of those long and well thought out responses [;)] And I think "why bother?" too! Just be you....just because you don't get a response doesn't mean that hundreds of people didn't read it and aren't affected by it![:)]

bandit25 -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 4:19:38 PM)
LOL...that's perfect. I get the same exact reaction when I read posts that state something like "This (insert kink du jour) is a hard limit for me but I am a slave and must do what Master says. He says I have no limits." I think...Hellloooooooooo. What the hell? Oh, and then the person follows whatever with "I am not a doormat." And I think, no, you are the epitome of a doormat!

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 5:45:21 PM)
I just find so much dishonesty anymore. People have always lied but its seems alot more do it to hurt others and don't care that they do.

marieToo -> RE: What disheartens you about the Lifestyle? (10/24/2006 6:02:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong If you are thinking about leaving the lifestyle..what was the last straw? What irritates you? What defeats your spirit? I TRY to leave it all, for various reasons, but find myself drawn back again and again... Well, I dont really think about leaving the lifestyle, because I don't view it as a lifestyle or something to leave or go to in that sense. I have however, thought about pursuing a vanilla relationship as opposed to one based on a power exchange because sometimes I just wish I could be like everyone else you see around. Life seems simpler to me that way. But I know better, and I know an ordinary existance keeps me feeling empty, so the thought always passes. I wouldn't describe myself as disheartened about anything. I'm cursed and I'm blessed, but I wouldn't really change a thing, 'cause I like a little pain mixed with my pleasure. Nothing ever defeats me. Though the constant pissing contests among bdsmers do irritate me. For people into watersports - a pissing contest is a fine worthwhile endeavor - ROFL lmao. I should've known better than to use that term around here.

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