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Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 1:11:57 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

This Op is not directed at A/anyone in particular. If Y/you should happen to see Y/yourself in my words, perhaps Y/you will reflect.

When i first began posting here, the dialogue was primarially intellectually stimulating, positive, and mutually supportive. Slowly, some of the bright lights from that era left.

Now whenever i come here, i find such distress. So much focus on negativity. So many P/pl acting (apparently) as provocteurs.

This was once a place where i felt educated, able to ask questions and get information from experienced P/pl, and sensed a civility -- even a comradery -- amoung the majority of the regulars. i no longer feel that way.

i'm not posting this to provoke A/anyone. i'm just feeling sad.

candystripper

Post #: 1

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 1:14:51 PM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

Block those negative people and provocateurs.

< Message edited by Rule -- 10/29/2006 1:15:31 PM >

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 2

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 1:34:43 PM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I look forward to posting with the "nice" people, and I ignore the rest.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 3

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 1:43:08 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

Try to remember candystripper, I'm not sure if you were around for the wave before that. It will change yet again, the tides that flow here change from time to time, it was like this before all those you speak of conversed here, and some still do remain, they are largely silent but they are here, and others not so negative will come again. Negativity is highly energy consuming, those sparks tend to burn out, as these shall.

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 4

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 2:08:47 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Yeah, the ones that really annoy me are people like this:

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=657193

Then again, who am I to cast a stone, me in my pee-filled glass house.....

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to kc692)

Post #: 5

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 2:22:42 PM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

This Op is not directed at A/anyone in particular. If Y/you should happen to see Y/yourself in my words, perhaps Y/you will reflect.

When i first began posting here, the dialogue was primarially intellectually stimulating, positive, and mutually supportive. Slowly, some of the bright lights from that era left.

Now whenever i come here, i find such distress. So much focus on negativity. So many P/pl acting (apparently) as provocteurs.

This was once a place where i felt educated, able to ask questions and get information from experienced P/pl, and sensed a civility -- even a comradery -- amoung the majority of the regulars. i no longer feel that way.

i'm not posting this to provoke A/anyone. i'm just feeling sad.

candystripper

I don't pay too much attention to the main part of the boards, but this section of the boards is ten times better than when I first came here. A lota new people and lota smart, well informed people.

- R

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 6

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 2:30:26 PM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

While this is the first time actually contributing to this board I have read this boad on and off for many years. (Former Master put a limit to how many boards I could post to.)

I have found this board to go through waves in it's personality just like almost all boards that emotional topics are talked about. There will always be a few hotheads looking for attention and wanting to cause reactions and there will always be a few know it alls who have problems agreeing to dissagree on boards and escalate it to an emotional level. There just is no way around this on a open/active board.

Personally for me, everytime I have abandon reading this board was when too many cliques were formed and it seem like most posts were not about a thread but supporting a friend or dissing a person they did not like. Currently I see no such cliques. Most of the negativity is on certain topics and those topics are almost always guarenteed to get heated and I just do not see how that will ever change.

I think this is a really nice board and even when I abandon it I know I will come back. Sometimes I reccomend taking a break and stop posting to a board or only post on a few things that really are interesting to me. One thing I always reccomend though is never get affected by some person(s) typing in cyber world.

< Message edited by toservez -- 10/29/2006 2:32:27 PM >

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 7

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 2:33:33 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

That's a very good observation. I used to hate all the "You go, girl!" threads.

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

Personally for me, everytime I have abandon reading this board was when too many cliques were formed and it seem like most posts were not about a thread but supporting a friend or dissing a person they did not like. Currently I see no such cliques.

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 8

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 2:33:34 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Yeah, the ones that really annoy me are people like this:

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=657193

Then again, who am I to cast a stone, me in my pee-filled glass house.....

Yours,

benji

Benji, i never claimed i myself was in every post civil and filled with love of all humankind. No one who knows me at all believes that about me. i'm not ashamed of what i wrote; i think she had it coming.

The problem i have is there are (to me) so many people who have it coming lately. They seem to overwhelm the board. And whether you believe this or not, feeling angry does not enhance my life in any way.

That's the reason i haven't been a regular here myself for some time. i came back yesterday and found two of my F/friends being attacked, and today a 3rd. While my F/friends are well-able to look after themselves, it's not in me not to stand up for T/them.

So, i do not feel like a hypocrite, if that was your point.

candystripper

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 9

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 2:34:54 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Yeah, the ones that really annoy me are people like this:

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=657193

Then again, who am I to cast a stone, me in my pee-filled glass house.....

Yours,

benji

Thank ya...some forget their own words at times!! I don't think there are very many here that have not had posts that were not totally nice to others, and sometimes we forget that when we chastise. Everyone here is human, although some would like you to forget that about them..

**MY REPLY WAS NOT DIRECTED TO ANYONE IN PARTICULAR, NOONE IS INTENDED TO TAKE OFFENSE BECAUSE OF IT** PLEASE CONTINUE ENJOYING THIS GORGEOUS SUNDAY!!!

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 10

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 2:39:26 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I think this is a really nice board and even when I abandon it I know I will come back. Sometimes I reccomend taking a break and stop posting to a board or only post on a few things that really are interesting to me. One thing I always reccomend though is never get affected by some person(s) typing in cyber world.

toservez

miss, i think you are quite wise. i have only been online a couple of years or so; in Nov of '03 i was in a 'nilla chat room for the first time, and a stray comment made there led me to castle realm, which led me here in Jan of '04. It's been interesting, frustrating, scarey, amazing and a whole bunch of stuff.

i don't know if ever i'll reach a point where a bigoted comment or a slur at a F/friend of mine can pass me by, unattended. Mostly what i have done to date is depart the scene and return from time to time, to if anything has changed.

candystripper

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 11

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 2:43:23 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Yeah, the ones that really annoy me are people like this:

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=657193

Then again, who am I to cast a stone, me in my pee-filled glass house.....

Yours,

benji

Benji, i never claimed i myself was in every post civil and filled with love of all humankind. No one who knows me at all believes that about me. i'm not ashamed of what i wrote; i think she had it coming.

The problem i have is there are (to me) so many people who have it coming lately. They seem to overwhelm the board. And whether you believe this or not, feeling angry does not enhance my life in any way.

That's the reason i haven't been a regular here myself for some time. i came back yesterday and found two of my F/friends being attacked, and today a 3rd. While my F/friends are well-able to look after themselves, it's not in me not to stand up for T/them.

So, i do not feel like a hypocrite, if that was your point.

candystripper

I will say this as nicely as possible...who are you to decide who has it coming? Maybe that is the problem here in general; all the self appointed judges of all the others, and those that think some "have it coming and should get their's". As far as knowing she had it coming, under that nick she only had a few dozen posts, and I personally have a hard time believing you knew who she was til she came out..I have talked to her quite a bit in the past off the boards, and hadn't seen Her here in a while, and even I had no idea who she was. And even if you did know who she was, this is part of the problem(problem being everyone in general, not specifically you.) Others jumping in and adding to the fallout and fray when some snipe at each other, instead of trying to help maintain the ambivalence, instead of disrupt it. I think we tend to get all involved in perceived slights to others, when in fact if the others are slighted they are well capable of handling it. If not, and it goes againt TOS, a mod will be there shortly to mediate, (not that that should be necessary either, but you get my drift).

In the words of Rodney King---Can't we all just get along????

Wow, I saw this post after I posted so going to add this to the list of examples and trying to figure out who exactly in particular was bashed in the OP's remarks that needed standing up for..... seems they were just stating an incendiary position.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_654926/mpage_7/tm.htm#

This is the last time for me on this thread, I'm feeling negativity at the moment and don't want to add any more to this thread.

< Message edited by kc692 -- 10/29/2006 2:48:48 PM >

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 12

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 2:50:32 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

This Op is not directed at A/anyone in particular. If Y/you should happen to see Y/yourself in my words, perhaps Y/you will reflect.

When i first began posting here, the dialogue was primarially intellectually stimulating, positive, and mutually supportive. Slowly, some of the bright lights from that era left.

Now whenever i come here, i find such distress. So much focus on negativity. So many P/pl acting (apparently) as provocteurs.

This was once a place where i felt educated, able to ask questions and get information from experienced P/pl, and sensed a civility -- even a comradery -- amoung the majority of the regulars. i no longer feel that way.

i'm not posting this to provoke A/anyone. i'm just feeling sad.

candystripper

Aw, sweetie.. this is easy. Just feed what you want to have grow and starve what you want to have die. If you don't give energy to the negative, such won't be a part of your world.

On any given day, I can find almost anything if I just seek it out ... whether it's good company, intellectual conversation, a new idea or way of looking at something.. they are there for the taking and the sharing. Be selective in the threads you read and those to which you respond and just don't allow the net to get you down.

::hugs::

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 13

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 2:56:27 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Take a deep breath and remember, it's only a message board. Why waste time getting upset over message board stuff?
Some months ago there were some hard-to-take cliques in this place. Many of those posters are no longer here. I like the atmosphere here now.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to kc692)

Post #: 14

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 3:06:58 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

I've found a very good approach to this type of thing, and it's suited me well over all these years:

I hate everyone.

It's easier and I never have to worry who lied to me last or why I really think they suck.

(Said of course, in love)

_____________________________

Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 15

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 3:07:52 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

This Op is not directed at A/anyone in particular. If Y/you should happen to see Y/yourself in my words, perhaps Y/you will reflect.

When i first began posting here, the dialogue was primarially intellectually stimulating, positive, and mutually supportive. Slowly, some of the bright lights from that era left.

Now whenever i come here, i find such distress. So much focus on negativity. So many P/pl acting (apparently) as provocteurs.

This was once a place where i felt educated, able to ask questions and get information from experienced P/pl, and sensed a civility -- even a comradery -- amoung the majority of the regulars. i no longer feel that way.

i'm not posting this to provoke A/anyone. i'm just feeling sad.

candystripper

Hi Candystripper,

Was there a topic you would like to discuss? The usual way to turn things around is to begin :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 16

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 3:11:17 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Tsk tsk tsk tsk. ...and here I was hoping you'd welcome Me back to these boards....TM

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 10/29/2006 3:12:26 PM >

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 17

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 3:18:50 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

candystripper,

Sometimes a brief haitus away from the boards helps. Goodness knows I bailed off the boards for months because I finally came to the conclusion that I had better things to do with My time than be crucified out here in cyberspace.

I come back today and WHAM! I get pissed on by benji here, straight from jump street.

I must be feeling a twinge masochistic today, eh?

kc692 said it best:

Try to remember candystripper, I'm not sure if you were around for the wave before that. It will change yet again, the tides that flow here change from time to time, it was like this before all those you speak of conversed here, and some still do remain, they are largely silent but they are here, and others not so negative will come again. Negativity is highly energy consuming, those sparks tend to burn out, as these shall.

Cheer up, and enjoy the show. It's only a blog.

Oh, and by the way, wasn't it you who quipped something about a 'sneakybitch'? lololol THAT was really positive and soothing. Yeah buddy! Fortunately I took that in stride and not as the insult you perhaps intended it to be.

Honey don't take every word you read here literally. I quite often post tongue in cheek to those with whom I've posted before. Don't take it so personally, and I promise not to rise to the 'sneaky bitch' bait.

Have a lovely day,

TM

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 10/29/2006 3:24:59 PM >

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 18

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 3:30:01 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

I come back today and WHAM! I get pissed on by benji here, straight from jump street.

I may be wrong since I didn't read the thread that Benji linked to, but I think his reference to it here was not meant to piss on you. I think he was pointing out the irony of the OP. I'm hungover, so what do I know.

(in reply to TexasMaam)

Post #: 19

RE: Thoughts from a Sad Member - 10/29/2006 3:35:19 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Celeste,

Your post, once again, is kind, supportive and positive. You set the bar pretty high for others to follow. Even Me.

; )

TexasMaam

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 20

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