RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (Full Version)

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LadyEllen -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 3:02:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Looking through this ornithology book, I cant see anything about putting tits in one's mouth? What does one do this for? Is it a winter practice, to prevent the poor little birdies from freezing or something?

E


It HAS been a long time for you hasn't it!?!?!


Yes. Though these days I have my own to play with if I want....... its funny though, its like when you were a kid and really wanted some toy or another? Once you got it, it lost its appeal.

E



Arpig -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 3:45:57 PM)

quote:

I cant see anything about putting tits in one's mouth? What does one do this for?


I would have thought this was rather obvious LadyE. It allows one to combine sex & food into one, thus when beer and sports are added, any man can enjoy a nice threesome [:)]



gooddogbenji -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 3:47:38 PM)

The sport of lapping up beer dribbling down a breast and into one's mouth?

Yours,


benji



LadyEllen -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 3:54:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

The sport of lapping up beer dribbling down a breast and into one's mouth?

Yours,


benji


Well, I have what are known in the trade as "Marty Feldmans" so this could be an interesting sport indeed, and one which could include two players (known as lappers, in the jargon), and two different beers on tit (sorry, on tap).

How could an offside rule be incorporated though, I'm wondering? As I'm obsessed by it (obviously)

E



mnottertail -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 3:56:48 PM)

Well, how about no more than one player in the triumvirate can claim to be (or perhaps not be) gay?

That allows a few more players.............



LadyEllen -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 4:24:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Well, how about no more than one player in the triumvirate can claim to be (or perhaps not be) gay?

That allows a few more players.............



Sorry to appear dense Ron, but Huh!?

Three players? And why would a gay guy want to play? And how would it allow more players?

E

PS - I'll get the Newcastle Brown in, then?



mnottertail -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 4:29:45 PM)

one on each tit, as opposing teams, and the titties being the goalpost( as it were) and the gay guy would be offsides................


Simple, when you know the rules.......................(this ain't cricket)


Ron
edited to add:

that would allow a greater number of players overall to allow the gays or any other faction to play as well...............

And frankly, THAT right there; well now; That's Why I am smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine..................

(stop, no applause..................)



missturbation -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 4:34:57 PM)

no man is smarter than cosmopolitan
*grimaces*



mnottertail -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 4:40:15 PM)

Young lady,  you are our millionth customer, and you have just won yourself an ENTIRE regional warehouse chock full of whip ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Richard Dawson



LadyEllen -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 4:42:25 PM)

sorry Ron, but its getting as complicated as cricket from what you said! Think I'd rather stick with the purist version and just have a couple of suckers as players, though slapping balls with a stick can be good too, so I hear.

E



missturbation -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 4:45:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Young lady,  you are our millionth customer, and you have just won yourself an ENTIRE regional warehouse chock full of whip ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Richard Dawson



Oh my! Ive never won anything before - yay me [:D]



Aileen68 -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 4:46:16 PM)

You people are wacky.  I just love wacky.

Nice new pic LadyEllen



mnottertail -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 4:50:11 PM)

Well, without the gays, you have no way of constructing an offside rule or any kind of penalty and without these kind of rules which you primarily expressed a desire to see in place, you have a total breakdown of the system, then there ain't no sports; nor beer;  nor sex; and the Master's belly goes empty................OUTRAGEOUS,  it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daniel Dravut (paraphrased)




LadyEllen -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 4:52:03 PM)

Thanks Aileen. As ever though, its the subject matter thats wanting!
E



LadyEllen -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 4:57:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Well, without the gays, you have no way of constructing an offside rule or any kind of penalty and without these kind of rules which you primarily expressed a desire to see in place, you have a total breakdown of the system, then there ain't no sports; nor beer;  nor sex; and the Master's belly goes empty................OUTRAGEOUS,  it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daniel Dravut (paraphrased)




we can easily make an offside rule without all those complications Ron! I know you guys like really complicated rules that are impenetrable to us, (re cricket, American football etc), but since we'd be the referees, we have to have rules we can follow!

a player would be offside if at the instant when the beer is poured, he is any closer than the other player to his side of the pitch.

the winner would be the guy who drinks the most, judged by which one passes out first. Presumably this would favour the one on the right, since men when drunk tend to make right tits out of themselves, so presumably a right tit will make them drunk sooner?

E



MistressTexas -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 7:15:54 PM)

The song y'all are thinking of is  Mr. Mom, by Lonestar.



Level -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (10/31/2006 11:36:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorelei115

I only heard it once, but it made me laugh.. Something about sweet potatoes in a lazy chair.



Mr Mom by Lonestar......... [:'(].... I always sing it as "sweet potatoes in my underwear", makes it more palateable.



RosaB -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (11/1/2006 4:34:25 AM)

Hmmm, I'm beginning to think the male mentality is rubbing off on me, for some reason every other comment up to this point is blank in my mind except a boy (I do mean man ya know) on each Tit.  [;)] 



TreSwank -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (11/1/2006 4:47:53 AM)

http://cosmosbadadvice.blogspot.com/2006_01_01_cosmosbadadvice_archive.html



Lashra -> RE: Why I'm Smarter than Cosmopolitan Magazine (11/1/2006 5:05:05 AM)

I hate those fucking articles because they are so far off base. Men want sex, food, sex. He doesn't want someone trying to freakin analyze his body language, he doesn't want someone using "secret codewords" he wants someone to throw him down onto the floor, tear off his clothes and basically ravage him. Why can't women understand this? It is pretty elementary to me. I do this to my man all the time. Why? Because I want sex, food, sex. He knows he better put out or I won't let him cook me dinner.

As for anal sex oh yeah baby...my strapon throbs for it and he knows damn well he better grab his ankles and brace himself. Because the big purple kahuna is going in for action![;)]

Oh yeah I need to get a job writing sex articles for the Ladies magazines.

~Lashra



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