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RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/11/2006 3:33:03 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		Erm, sorry, guess I was a little carried away.

Seriously, the problem - as you already figured out - had nothing to do with the type of sex you enjoy, nor her desire to serve you.  She had a fantasy in her head that 'Doms are XXXXX and anyone who doesn't meet XXXXX isn't worth my XXXX.'  I'm sure one day she'll come across Dom XXXX who doesn't want anything to do with her, because to him, subs/slaves must be YYYYY and their cosmic karma just won't harmonize.

I doubt you lost too many weeks of sleep over it, but for what it's worth I've been there (though not likely for the same reasons.)  It's not my cup o tea, but I don't think there's anything unmanly about anal play.  I doubt anyone would think there's anything unmanly about oral sex with a woman - how is that any different?  For that matter, I had a gay friend who told me once (ick) he hated anal sex.  So much for stereotypes.

< Message edited by Voltare -- 12/11/2006 3:36:08 PM >

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RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/11/2006 5:09:57 PM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		I tend to see men who are open & upfront about enjoying anal as being more masculine - they aren't afraid to be truthful and it takes some guts to admit it (especially if the guy is vanilla or in a vanilla relationship).
 
Personally, I couldn't see being with a guy who wasn't at least open to the idea of exploring anal sex... I just like riding them too much!

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RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/11/2006 5:43:56 PM   
SmokingGun82


Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		I can say that I'm a straight, dominant male who isn't above having a finger or tongue up my ass. It's not something I'd want everytime, but it can be a Hell of a good time.

I agree with the posters who've said what matters is the gender on the other end of the tongue/finger/whatever. If you're into girls, and not into guys, then you're straight. And don't let anyone make you feel inferior because of what you enjoy.

(Not implying gay=inferior.)


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RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/11/2006 5:54:50 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		Question his sexuality?  No. 

I would be more than happy to use my tongue or fingers in him if it gave him pleasure.  But NOT a strap on.  I couldn't go there. That would just be too weird for me, and yes, I admit, it would cause me to think differently about his dominance.  Can't help it.....  

(in reply to SmokingGun82)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/11/2006 6:22:44 PM   
Denny17


Posts: 86
Joined: 11/5/2006
Status: offline 		an ass is an ass is an ass is an ass.  their all the same (physiologically)........who says gays or us bi(s) own ass play for ourselves?

(in reply to TreSwank)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/11/2006 6:39:43 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

No, I don't see him as being less masculine nor does it make me think he's secretly gay. he simply likes that sex act.

Master Fire


I'm with Fire ..

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RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/11/2006 6:40:42 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

No, I don't see him as being less masculine nor does it make me think he's secretly gay. he simply likes that sex act.

Master Fire


I'm with Fire ..



Me too!

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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/11/2006 6:49:36 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank

       If a man requests to be on the receiving end of anal play (fingers and/or objects up the ass), do you view him as being less masculine, or perhaps suspect that he's been lying to you about his sexual orientation?  This is actually more of a sensitive, personal issue that I had with an ex..............so I decided to throw it out in front of the general public on a free BDSM forum.

     Actual quote from ex-  "I thought only gay guys liked that."


Absolutely not. It feels wonderful. Many of us know firsthand, no pun intended. :) Just a question...when she said "I thought only gay guys liked that" what did you say back? Was that so embarressing that you gave up? Cause if anyone ever said that I'd just say "Actually, no, all men have the same parts and it feels just as good to straight ones." And that would be the end of it.

(in reply to TreSwank)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/12/2006 12:54:55 AM   
MistressTexas


Posts: 425
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

i'm one of those women who find it a bit questionable when a supposedly straight man has a liking for fingers or toys up the bum. tho i'm not completely close-minded about it....i mean, i find nothing closet-homosexual about a man liking a woman's tongue up his bum, and that's actually a service that i enjoy giving very much. i suppose i just get uncomfy with the idea of taking it a step further to actual firm penetration...that's homoerotic to me, but if the man were otherwise 100% masculine, strong, dominant and aggressive, and he retained his control and dominance during the act, then i suppose my views on it could change.


I find this very interesting coming from you. Especially since you're always so quick to toss out "what my daddy says is law" etc etc. So I have to wonder what you would do and how you would think if your daddy told you to finger his ass.

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/12/2006 3:29:52 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I have never ever thought ass play was an indicator of "gay-ness."

Nope. My hesitation rested solely with me. I wasn't sure what to do, how to do it or where in the world that prostrate thing was in the first place (I still have no clue). And my TONGUE at an exit for... other things?!!   Well...let's just say I was ... um... reluctant.

And then, one day, I was giving him a massage...and well, he just looked so wonderful there, and I kissed his butt. One thing led to another and now, while he's still never directed me to penetrate him, I am so completely sold on the tongue thing!!! He'd always told me he liked that, but I'd never been able (or willing for that matter) to do this. To his credit, he never pushed me but let me get there on my own.

In fact, I think I'm addicted to pretty much everything about him. Heck, I can sit next to him and just his natural scent is enough to make my heart beat faster - and we're working on our 4th year together!! Even thinking about him does that to me - and regardless of what I'm doing, he generally pops into my head all day long...

whew!..  Jackie Gleason said it best. "HOW SWEET IT IS!!!"


But I digress...

Regarding penetration, my only concern is that I have long-ish nails (not those claws I see so many women wearing, but still, they are aren't cut close.) I am SO afraid of hurting him - even if accidentally. So, unless there are ways I don't know about...I guess me doing that with my fingers is out.

Unless someone has a good idea?  How short should nails be anyway for that?

Damn! Y'know, there are just some things you can't go ask your mother!!

juliet

(in reply to MistressTexas)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/12/2006 3:52:26 AM   
Daddysfavoritpet


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/5/2006
Status: offline 		keeping one nail clipped close is a small sacrafice to lending that pleasurable step beyond your tongue in His ass. 

remember your servitude is what sets your soul free, its not always about you and your likes, but rather how can you please Him.

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/12/2006 8:14:10 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		i'm with juliet.  Where as i would not think less of a man that likes anal play, I just have no clue as what to do or even how to start. I'd definately need someone that was willing to tell me pretty much step by step in the begining on what to do.

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RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/12/2006 1:19:40 PM   
xonemasterx


Posts: 59
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Boston, Massachusetts, USA
Status: offline 		I enjoy it and if you think that makes me less of a Dom, then we should not date.  For me, the ass is not out of bounds on either side.  Just do as I ask, and all will be fine for both!    

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/12/2006 1:25:39 PM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline 		  I think men are more likely to view  the enjoyment of anal play as homo-erotic than females.   A  man who enjoys it is  just open and secure in his sexuality...and thats a great thing.

< Message edited by spankmepink11 -- 12/12/2006 1:26:34 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/12/2006 1:52:05 PM   
MrSirDiscreteOne


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/7/2005
From: Van Nuys Ca SoCal SFV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Only if the end of the fingers belong to a man and the object is a dick.
Other than that...it's all good.


ok That made mountain dew come out my nose... No offense to the OP or the subject... But Aileen, that was funny as hell!! ROFLMAO

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Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/12/2006 4:01:14 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysfavoritpet

keeping one nail clipped close is a small sacrafice to lending that pleasurable step beyond your tongue in His ass. 

remember your servitude is what sets your soul free, its not always about you and your likes, but rather how can you please Him.


Now see, I went back to read what I'd written, and for the life of me, I can't see one single place where I said I am a) unwilling to trim nails, b) whether he wants me to keep them long, short or otherwise, c) whether I'm in doubt about my "servitude" and need reminding that "it's not all about me and my likes."  In fact, I don't recall writing, nor can I find anywhere, that I stated anything beyond wondering how short they need to be.

I'm figuring that since I'm pretty sure we don't know each other, you don't know these things about me either.  So beyond all the stuff about what will "set my soul free," are there any other credible suggestions? 

I really don't get into all the mumbo jumbo about souls being free and all that, and I don't really have a problem with the concept of selfishness. Generally, I think that's a word bandied about and/or insinuated when people are trying to make themselves sound so much better than everyone else. I doubt anyone is here doing the things we do SOLELY because someone else loves it. Face it...we do this because we like it...and that means that while I love making him happy, the bottom line is that making him happy, makes me happy - and that does indeed make this "about me."

Hell! We've been together for 3+ years now and up until recently, even knowing he loves rimming, I've never been moved to do this before. And this time, rest assured, I surely DID do it because *I* wanted to do so. If I didn't, he'd never have required it and never asked for it - in the same way there are things that I've seen women say "if a man doesn't do that to me, we're not going to be together!" and yet, I don't ask him because I know he doesn't want to. With the wealth of experiences available to us, the decision not to engage in a specific activity really is not the be-all, end-all of our relationship. We live a D/s life. We approach play from the point of mutual enthusiasm, and then find ways to tweek things from there.

So, if I choose to keep my nails long for whatever reason I might have, it's not going to end our relationship and believe it or not, both he and I will find plenty of things to do, and those too just might "set our souls free" - whatever that means.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 12/12/2006 4:11:06 PM >

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RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/12/2006 4:44:12 PM   
TreSwank


Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		With the support of my fellow BDSM enthusiasts, I'm no longer reluctant to stand up and shout,  "I like to have various objects inserted into my ass, and I'm not ashamed."  I'll just try to refrain from shouting that in Stop and Stop or any local redneck bars.

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Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/12/2006 11:49:18 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		I think your being too careful Tre... stand up and shout it to all those redneck in their bars... SHOW THEM WHAT REAL MASCULINITY IS!!!!
 
Then come back and tell us all about it.

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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/13/2006 12:20:24 AM   
jdtallfem


Posts: 180
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		I bought a huge box of latex gloves which work great for covering up nails during ass play. You can really  milk the prostrate for quite awhile and feel confident your nails aren't doing any damage if you're gentle.  And I love my strapon, comes in two sizes.  Truly, there's no reason why women shouldn't play with one of man's biggest erogenous zones, the prostrate.  It has nothing to do with being gay.  For me it can be a very domineering act, and great fun.

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Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Anal Play and Masculinity (A Question to Women) - 12/13/2006 1:17:50 AM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank

      If a man requests to be on the receiving end of anal play (fingers and/or objects up the ass), do you view him as being less masculine, or perhaps suspect that he's been lying to you about his sexual orientation?  This is actually more of a sensitive, personal issue that I had with an ex..............so I decided to throw it out in front of the general public on a free BDSM forum.

    Actual quote from ex-  "I thought only gay guys liked that."


I think having any man squirm from the pleasure that i can provide is a masculing thing...since Im a girl...and i dont play with girls...anything i find a man does in response to my touch to be masculine

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Profile   Post #: 80
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