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RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/16/2006 1:16:20 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzTlaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

So, then what you're saying is that if a woman just manipulates the man in her life in the right way - bringing in another man to befriend him, act in a dominant manner toward him, and in essence, politely force him past his limit of being straight, that that will always work and he will happily become bi-sexual?

Just thought I'd turn this around to see if it made any more sense that way.

Yes....and if Sir Anthony is right about this....well, maybe we can also change a Dom into a sub...maybe he would volunteer to prove his point? ;)

Now THAT would be interesting. And since we're planning this, perhaps I'll just change up my submissive/slave status to dominant and be the one to help him realize just how wonderful he'll feel engaging in these acts - with a collar and everything!! He'll treasure the experience. Afterall, as we all know, obeying a Master's wish does trump deeply held personal beliefs. And if it's a real problem, there is always the comfort offered to him that we DO know him better than he knows himself. Since that's the case, his one thought, I'm sure, would be/should be focused on how he could strive to please - afterall, you know how much he loves committment and hates velcro collars.

If it doesn't work out, well, it's just like taking a paddle to the bare ass of a new submissive.We'll just work on whatever mental damage there is, try again, go slower and prolong this little adventure in getting to know himself. He'll grow. He'll become more than he ever thought he could...it'll work. I'm sure of it. Afterall, I'm the dominant.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 11/16/2006 1:31:25 PM >

(in reply to MzTlaz)

Post #: 61

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/16/2006 3:57:04 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzTlaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

So, then what you're saying is that if a woman just manipulates the man in her life in the right way - bringing in another man to befriend him, act in a dominant manner toward him, and in essence, politely force him past his limit of being straight, that that will always work and he will happily become bi-sexual?

Just thought I'd turn this around to see if it made any more sense that way.

Yes....and if Sir Anthony is right about this....well, maybe we can also change a Dom into a sub...maybe he would volunteer to prove his point? ;)

Now THAT would be interesting. And since we're planning this, perhaps I'll just change up my submissive/slave status to dominant and be the one to help him realize just how wonderful he'll feel engaging in these acts - with a collar and everything!! He'll treasure the experience. Afterall, as we all know, obeying a Master's wish does trump deeply held personal beliefs. And if it's a real problem, there is always the comfort offered to him that we DO know him better than he knows himself. Since that's the case, his one thought, I'm sure, would be/should be focused on how he could strive to please - afterall, you know how much he loves committment and hates velcro collars.

If it doesn't work out, well, it's just like taking a paddle to the bare ass of a new submissive.We'll just work on whatever mental damage there is, try again, go slower and prolong this little adventure in getting to know himself. He'll grow. He'll become more than he ever thought he could...it'll work. I'm sure of it. Afterall, I'm the dominant.

juliet

Exactly. If he won't behave for you then, then it's just because he's being stubborn, not realizing that his mistress knows what is best for him. You can send him to me for breaking. I know a few sadists who would delight in having a fresh victim and between us we have a lovely collection of toys for the soul. After all, every man enjoys prancing around in large fox tail butt plugs. Just like every every woman is bi.

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 62

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/16/2006 4:51:13 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Can't we throw a fourth of some species in here to bring new life into this?

I mean I thought the thing was done at the garbage bag vaginal condoms thing.

Am I outta the loop, here?

Father Time

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 63

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/16/2006 6:04:54 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Bi play is my only hard and fast absolute limit!
Fortunately any partner I have stuck with is generally as horrified by same sex play that there is no question I won't be pushed into that sort of activity.

<g> I might suggest asking anyone who feels like a keeper, if THEY would go down or bend over for another guy. And if they say no way, ask them why they believe it should be any different from a totally hertero woman.
It has always worked for me. If it didn't I would be out of there.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: safesaneplay2]

Master and I talked for months about this before it actually happened. I always felt I was straight. He always wished for me to be at least bi curious.

I do believe; however, that I have found a hard limit for myself. I only hope that Master can understand and honor this limit for me.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 64

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/16/2006 6:33:15 PM

PrimitiveLogic

Posts: 145
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Md.
Status: offline

As I say...just because you can; doesn't mean you should. The poly/ bi party train really should be a willing choice...especially if it means expectations of never getting off it. Trying shouldn't mean buying, without an opportunity to evaluate the outcome or consequences....oh that's right...He knows whats best for you even though you have no clue. But in all capacities and in all circumstances? So he has begun a sequence he has significantly less control over than he thought. He sounds ill equipped to untangle "his" fantasy. To me this sounds more like the; "I'm ready to test my limits as a dom and want to be like all the other big boys out there who have two girls'"; instead of someone who works hard at promoting the energy within the relationship.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 65

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/16/2006 8:08:43 PM

Morrigel

Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: safesaneplay2
If anyone has suggestions, please. I do love him. I just feel sick inside.

Uh....yeah.

Not so much with the gay.

Or the bi, even.

There's really no "suggestion" to be made, other than "find yourself a dom who understands that you are not attracted to women". It doesn't matter how much you love someone, there are some aspects of your personality which are not ever going to change.

--M

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 66

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/16/2006 9:12:29 PM

MzTlaz

Posts: 140
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline

LOL! Now you guys are just having way too much fun with this :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzTlaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

So, then what you're saying is that if a woman just manipulates the man in her life in the right way - bringing in another man to befriend him, act in a dominant manner toward him, and in essence, politely force him past his limit of being straight, that that will always work and he will happily become bi-sexual?

Just thought I'd turn this around to see if it made any more sense that way.

Yes....and if Sir Anthony is right about this....well, maybe we can also change a Dom into a sub...maybe he would volunteer to prove his point? ;)

Now THAT would be interesting. And since we're planning this, perhaps I'll just change up my submissive/slave status to dominant and be the one to help him realize just how wonderful he'll feel engaging in these acts - with a collar and everything!! He'll treasure the experience. Afterall, as we all know, obeying a Master's wish does trump deeply held personal beliefs. And if it's a real problem, there is always the comfort offered to him that we DO know him better than he knows himself. Since that's the case, his one thought, I'm sure, would be/should be focused on how he could strive to please - afterall, you know how much he loves committment and hates velcro collars.

If it doesn't work out, well, it's just like taking a paddle to the bare ass of a new submissive.We'll just work on whatever mental damage there is, try again, go slower and prolong this little adventure in getting to know himself. He'll grow. He'll become more than he ever thought he could...it'll work. I'm sure of it. Afterall, I'm the dominant.

juliet

Exactly. If he won't behave for you then, then it's just because he's being stubborn, not realizing that his mistress knows what is best for him. You can send him to me for breaking. I know a few sadists who would delight in having a fresh victim and between us we have a lovely collection of toys for the soul. After all, every man enjoys prancing around in large fox tail butt plugs. Just like every every woman is bi.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 67

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/17/2006 5:36:07 AM

LeatherBentOne

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

Why would you have sex with another woman if it literally makes you sick? Perhaps during your exploration, you have stumbled upon a hard limit and it would be an insensitive Dom who would try to convince you otherwise if this is the case. I'm lesbian and scening or being sexual with a man is a hard limit for me, case closed. You are entitled and have the right to establish any hard limits you want. I encourage you to do that here as it is obvious another female is not for you judging from your physical response to an already emotional/sexual intense level of discomfort bordering on repulsion.

Granted, limits can be expanded and pushed but in this instance you may want to recognise and speak with your Dom on negotiating this one. Compromise is one option but make sure you don't concede and loose your identity in the midst of trying to please anyone. You know who you are and ultimately what's in your best interest. Stand up for yourself and remember your sexual preferences are yours just as much as my sexual preferences are mine. Best of luck in resolving this issue.

(in reply to MzTlaz)

Post #: 68

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/17/2006 9:17:23 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: safesaneplay2

was your answer suppose to make sense or just random thoughts of bullshit running thru your head?

Um I felt really bad and wanted to help you out with some of my insight (the little I have, but I do have a psyc digree) That was untill I read this!!! Ron never makes a whole lot of sence to me with how he talks, I think Im too simple to understand a lot of what he says. But Man do you really need to me so nasty and disrespectfull to him if you read what he wrote and stop with the nasty snide remarks you will se he does make sence here. I dont get why you would push away the very advise you sought here!!!

Magik's slave

I wouldn't be too offended. It doesn't take a psych degree to read LALALALA I'M NOT LISTENING!!!

Some people don't want advice when it's not what they pre-determined it should be.

I'd say if you weren't smart enough to consider the consequences of your actions and provide appropriate after-care then you deserve what you get. See you back here when you're crying about being dumped on your arse because your toy wised up and moved on. Broken toys aren't fun to play that's why most on here consider the after effects BEFORE heading down a dangerous path.

Oh wait I forgot, you're not listening until we agree with you...HA who am I kidding. You broke your toy deal with the consequences.

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 11/17/2006 9:19:06 AM >

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 69

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/17/2006 6:05:24 PM

MisticalMisty

Posts: 12
Joined: 11/4/2006
Status: offline

my Master and i had a very similar conversation. He was convinced that deep down somewhere i'm bi and i kept telling Him he was wrong.

i was accused of being selfish and not wanting to take care of His needs. Finally i asked Him if he wanted to suck a cock or have a guy fuck Him..and of course He said no. i told Him that I like pussy just as much as He likes cock and i didn't understand why men think that women should WANT or be told to be with another woman. Just because it's a fantasy for a lot of men and there are more and more women who are willing to try it..doesn't mean it's for everyone. i finally got my point across and made Him realize i wasn't fighting it because i was being selfish..it's because i have no desire and will not be with a woman

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 70

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/17/2006 8:21:13 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisticalMisty

my Master and i had a very similar conversation. He was convinced that deep down somewhere i'm bi and i kept telling Him he was wrong.

i was accused of being selfish and not wanting to take care of His needs. Finally i asked Him if he wanted to suck a cock or have a guy fuck Him..and of course He said no. i told Him that I like pussy just as much as He likes cock and i didn't understand why men think that women should WANT or be told to be with another woman. Just because it's a fantasy for a lot of men and there are more and more women who are willing to try it..doesn't mean it's for everyone. i finally got my point across and made Him realize i wasn't fighting it because i was being selfish..it's because i have no desire and will not be with a woman

I think you hit the nail on the head and found the example for NO MEANS NO

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to MisticalMisty)

Post #: 71

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/19/2006 9:42:34 PM

gretchenS

Posts: 237
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

E i sometimes wonder how many males get all their sex education from watching porn. In porn, all women are thrilled to have sex with other females but even porn is just a movie.

Don't forget about the big paycheck after the act. That is a major incentive. After all, they are faking the bi factor and the multiple orgasms.

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 72

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/19/2006 11:12:14 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Ok... this part has always bugged me. Even my therapist didn't know more about me than I did. I knew all the stuff, good and bad. His job was simply to help me find my footing on my uneven landscape. He never professed to know more about me than I did.
It drives me nuts when people assume to know me and my feelings. I know them. You should know yours as well.
just my 25 cents.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: safesaneplay2
He has agreed not to go forward with this at this time. He also says that there are many things that he knows about me that I don't and that I will discover them for myself with his direction.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 73

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/20/2006 1:05:38 PM

safesaneplay2

Posts: 22
Joined: 10/2/2006
Status: offline

hmmm...we talked and talked and talked and he agreed that it wasn't right for me and then a few nights later brought it back into the conversation again except this time with a different twist...i don't have to have any sexual contact with the other woman...all i have to do is watch him have sexual contact with her..maybe even my best friend because he has been having fantasies about her since he met her a few weeks ago...and she is vanilla...and maybe i could find him a pregnant girl cuz he would enjoy milk and maybe a 25 yr. old just to say he had been with one once and i shouldn't be jealous or feel inadequate because he will always love me best. i smiled and today i took off my collar realizing that i cannot be a member of safesaneplay2 now that it is no longer safe or sane and just 2. thank you to everyone for talking to me and i'll be here soon as a single sub just seeking friends...

_____________________________

coloring outside the lines!!

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 74

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/20/2006 1:15:43 PM

zumala

Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline

I'm sorry that things turned out this way for you. You're right, though. Best to cut the cords and remove yourself from a bad relationship. I wish you the very best.

zuma

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 75

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/20/2006 1:34:20 PM

RedSavageSlave

Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline

May I ask what his response to your reaction was?

Mine is.."BRAVO"~

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to zumala)

Post #: 76

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/20/2006 9:26:58 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

Sighs..I am so sorry that this had some about...I only wish you the best...be well....

.....Tempting

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)

Post #: 77

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/21/2006 5:36:27 AM

ExtremeOwnerIL

Posts: 197
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: safesaneplay2

hmmm...we talked and talked and talked and he agreed that it wasn't right for me and then a few nights later brought it back into the conversation again except this time with a different twist...i don't have to have any sexual contact with the other woman...all i have to do is watch him have sexual contact with her..maybe even my best friend because he has been having fantasies about her since he met her a few weeks ago...and she is vanilla...and maybe i could find him a pregnant girl cuz he would enjoy milk and maybe a 25 yr. old just to say he had been with one once and i shouldn't be jealous or feel inadequate because he will always love me best. i smiled and today i took off my collar realizing that i cannot be a member of safesaneplay2 now that it is no longer safe or sane and just 2. thank you to everyone for talking to me and i'll be here soon as a single sub just seeking friends...

As a man, there is nothing more annoying than to see other men who claim to be Dominant but fail at the simple task of controlling their genitals. IMO, although painful, you are best off to be out of this situation. This man wants a fucktoy, not a submissive - there is nothing wrong with that, but be brutally frank about it up front.

I wish you the best.

Regards,
EO

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 78

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/21/2006 9:44:52 AM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: safesaneplay2

Master had a fantasy about having a third (someday having a poly) even though I consider myself straight, I submitted to his request and played with him and another female. It was my first time doing anything like this. It's been 10 days. I still feel her. I still see her. I still feel my stomach turn when I think of what I did. Master wants to continue to explore this avenue. Somedays, I feel like I'm going to vomit, curl up and die. This weekend, when we were together and he began to touch me, I froze up and felt the same as I had at the end of my 13 yr vanilla relationship before we filed for divorce. He says I will get over this feeling because I love him and want to make him happy. If anyone has suggestions, please. I do love him. I just feel sick inside.

Though I agree with the vast majority that communication is a necessity in this case... I would put to you a query:

What was it about the encounter that bothered you? What is it that repulses you? Why do you feel the urge to vomit and die when thinking about it??

I was considered a full-blown, balls out, straight girl for the majority of my life - having done the threesome/foursome thing early one. My Dom (my love, my sweet) encouraged me to try a threesome, again and I found that my appreciation for the female form was, indeed, a true one. I have always found myself attracted to certain women (not all, mind you, but some) and wondered how I could go about fulfilling my desire. Well, in comes Sir and out goes my wonderment.

Now, the reason I bring this up is because after the first time, I was conflicted. Having been "straight" my entire life I was taken aback by my ability to please a women (though she didn't please me) and the fact that I enjoyed it (for the sake of my enjoyment, not just his). I spent a lot of time thinking about it, then thought I would try it again to see if it was a fluke or if I really enjoyed it. Though I don't usually get the time that I would like with the other girl, I do enjoy the closeness though now I can see why lesbians and gay men are so frustrated with the world - there is such a restriction!!

However, on the other side of the coin... maybe the problem is jealousy, envy or any of the sort - or you may just not like it. But my query is designed for you to think about the situation and figure out what it is that you don't like about it... is it you? is it jealousy? is it that you just don't like it? I, myself, would not work well in a Poly situation - but playing is another story. Maybe the fact that your Dom is considering a Poly keeps you from enjoying the play part because of the potential jealousy involved.

You won't be able to fully communicate your feelings to your Dom unless you understand your feelings for yourself. And, when you do communicate them, do so gently - though everything is not about him - you were willing and able to try and you shouldn't bash him for that. We all have our fantasies - perhaps someday you may be communicating something intimate and desirable to him - you wouldn't want to be bashed for that, would you?

Respectfully,

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 79

RE: I can't get the third out of my head - 11/21/2006 9:47:08 AM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: safesaneplay2

hmmm...we talked and talked and talked and he agreed that it wasn't right for me and then a few nights later brought it back into the conversation again except this time with a different twist...i don't have to have any sexual contact with the other woman...all i have to do is watch him have sexual contact with her..maybe even my best friend because he has been having fantasies about her since he met her a few weeks ago...and she is vanilla...and maybe i could find him a pregnant girl cuz he would enjoy milk and maybe a 25 yr. old just to say he had been with one once and i shouldn't be jealous or feel inadequate because he will always love me best. i smiled and today i took off my collar realizing that i cannot be a member of safesaneplay2 now that it is no longer safe or sane and just 2. thank you to everyone for talking to me and i'll be here soon as a single sub just seeking friends...

Damn, I hate coming in so late. I'm sorry to hear that you were not able to work things out, but again everyone has their kinks and not everyone is going to enjoy them or understand them...

Best of luck to you.

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to safesaneplay2)

Post #: 80

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