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The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 6:54:24 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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Personally, I have not met a Dom I would feel comfortable in submitting to.

However, a strong submissive male brings out that urge. There is a trust factor there that comes with you being their focus.

So, the question is;

While the attitude of sumission is still there as well as the knowledge that he knows you are still in charge, are there times you give your submissive free reign within your boundaries to do to you what he knows/what you taught him?

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 11/29/2006 7:00:57 AM >

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RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 7:19:55 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Personally, I have not met a Dom I would feel comfortable in submitting to.

However, a strong submissive male brings out that urge. There is a trust factor there that comes with you being their focus.

So, the question is;

While the attitude of sumission is still there as well as the knowledge that he knows you are still in charge, are there times you give your submissive free reign within your boundaries to do to you what he knows/what you taught him?

I'm not quite sure what you are asking.

I spent 9 months training Fox -- this was focused training. Plus he's spent the next f.5 years living with me and getting to know me very well so I should certainly hope he could serve without needing my continued and constant oversight.

If not, who is really the slave at that point?

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And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 2

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 7:48:05 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
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From: Domme Emeritus
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Hi TJ :)

This is more of a laying back and enjoying the fruits of your labors :)

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Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 3

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 7:51:38 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

You mean, let him take the lead and do stuff to you, that you would normally do to him?

Depends what it is I think - but then you did mention within your limits, so the whole thing is personal to the domme and the couple I guess (as is everything!)

I also wonder whether this might upset the whole dynamic, even if he is doming subject to you (if that makes any sense) - bottoming from the top?

E

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Post #: 4

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 7:54:03 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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Are you asking if we'd let the submissive top? And top who?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 5

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 9:15:08 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
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From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

bottoming from the top?

E

A good way to put it :) when the submissive takes the top side.

Some days I'm just lazy :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 6

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 9:18:11 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

Are you asking if we'd let the submissive top? And top who?

Just letting them show you what he knows about YOU. There is so much talk about training. Well, after 10 years..he knows me pretty well. He knows what I like. I no linger have oi TELL him. He's on autopilot, so to speak.

I can still direct the show if need be.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 7

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 10:02:44 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

What we do doesn't necessarily define who we are. I find that, usually, I enjoy being the more passive partner in the bedroom. So, in essence, I'm bottoming to my partner, no matter who that happens to be. Of course, I'm a total "do me" bottom. LMAO

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 8

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 10:16:25 AM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

There are different ways to interpret the scenario described. One way is for the interaction to be as it is in traditional male-female interaction or where a man might initiate intimacy and take the lead. If so, I think that is perfectly fine.

I expect most people into BDSM also appreciate more traditional ways of expressing and receiving affection. And I think it is reasonable to expect the man to initiate or express his desire or affection on his own rather than because he is ordered to do so.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 9

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 10:16:52 AM

mam

Posts: 54
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline

A good subbie will do as he is trained, so yes, I might lay back and enjoy the ride. Let him show me what he is capable of, within bounds. (Not really interested in Doms or switches, its the submissiveness of the male that turns my crank.)

This is suppose to be secret? lol

mam

< Message edited by mam -- 11/29/2006 10:19:08 AM >

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 10

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 10:54:54 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mam

A good subbie will do as he is trained, so yes, I might lay back and enjoy the ride. Let him show me what he is capable of, within bounds. (Not really interested in Doms or switches, its the submissiveness of the male that turns my crank.)

This is suppose to be secret? lol

mam

We should also address just how lucky the male subs are. I don't think the Dominant males understand that a successful Domme/submissive realtionship gives the submissive male pretty much what the Dom is knocking his brains out trying to get his sub fems to do. (feel free to chime in here male Doms. You know you are just itching to)

I think they see the "denial, humilaiton aspect and the other fetishes of the male submissives and think "how derrogatory".

I would like to say, that the submissive males know there is a payoff down the road :) Payoff being- something that the male sub enjoys immensly and is initiated by the grateful Domme. At least, this is how it is in my experence.

Hmmm.. we have Daddy Doms and Gorean Doms and Domly Doms.. maybe we can think of a name for this type of Domme. How about.. Fluffy Domme?.. Genteel Domme? (<-- oooh I like that one)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to mam)

Post #: 11

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 11:38:46 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

::is laughing:: Well, reading this thread has convinced me that I shall never, ever be a dominant because I am completely clueless and totally lost about what's happening here!

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 12

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 11:42:08 AM

LadyTY2Uall

Posts: 23
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

If she wants to be treated like a Lady as well as a Domme Wouldn't that make her LadyDomme? ;)

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(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 13

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 11:49:40 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyTY2Uall

If she wants to be treated like a Lady as well as a Domme Wouldn't that make her LadyDomme? ;)

That very well could be :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to LadyTY2Uall)

Post #: 14

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 12:50:04 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Personally, I have not met a Dom I would feel comfortable in submitting to.

However, a strong submissive male brings out that urge. There is a trust factor there that comes with you being their focus.

So, the question is;

While the attitude of sumission is still there as well as the knowledge that he knows you are still in charge, are there times you give your submissive free reign within your boundaries to do to you what he knows/what you taught him?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

bottoming from the top?

E

A good way to put it :) when the submissive takes the top side.

Some days I'm just lazy :)

In a word...

no

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 11/29/2006 12:56:37 PM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 15

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 1:18:05 PM

pinkkeith

Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

We should also address just how lucky the male subs are. I don't think the Dominant males understand that a successful Domme/submissive realtionship gives the submissive male pretty much what the Dom is knocking his brains out trying to get his sub fems to do. (feel free to chime in here male Doms. You know you are just itching to)

I think they see the "denial, humilaiton aspect and the other fetishes of the male submissives and think "how derrogatory".

I would like to say, that the submissive males know there is a payoff down the road :) Payoff being- something that the male sub enjoys immensly and is initiated by the grateful Domme. At least, this is how it is in my experence.

Hmmm.. we have Daddy Doms and Gorean Doms and Domly Doms.. maybe we can think of a name for this type of Domme. How about.. Fluffy Domme?.. Genteel Domme? (<-- oooh I like that one)

I don't know. I have had both a Dom and a Domme before and They both tend to give out rewards for good behavior. The main difference that I tend to see is that Doms tend to be more physical while Dommes tend to be more psychological.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 16

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 1:20:12 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

Are you asking if we'd let the submissive top? And top who?

Just letting them show you what he knows about YOU. There is so much talk about training. Well, after 10 years..he knows me pretty well. He knows what I like. I no linger have oi TELL him. He's on autopilot, so to speak.

I can still direct the show if need be.

Color me clueless, but I'm still not fully getting your code here.

What show? Life in general? Sex? Whaaaat? Toss me a bone here!

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 17

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 1:48:46 PM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

I don't see the issue reconciling these various desires a person might have. I'm not certain everyone who's a Kinsey 1.2 needs to identify as bisexual, if that makes sense as a parallel. There are times I can sexualize not being in control and I think that's true for the vast majority of people male and female, who are willing to be honest. It's not my much more common MO and if you told me I could never do it again I wouldn't miss out and pine for it either. I generally get along better with subs and switches than I do other Dominants, so yes, it's more likely I'd go that route with a switch or a submissive who can service top with a lot of flair. (rare)

I think there's SO much pressure on women to cop to "an innately submissive nature" or some such BS that we're forced sometimes into ridiculous positions to be taken seriously. More men "closet switch" than anyone really chooses to think about, and few feel a need to defend it or discuss it to death

Once I realized that, basically, it's my sexual destiny and my sexual determination in my hands, whatever I might do with it, I kind of saw this as the ultimate Domme prerogative.
.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 18

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 2:34:55 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

Color me clueless, but I'm still not fully getting your code here.

What show? Life in general? Sex? Whaaaat? Toss me a bone here!

While I don't NORMALLY do puppy play..here ya go:

"Have you ever been so impressed with your boy that you just give it up for him"? Turn the kid loose in the candy store per say? :)

I'm starting to think I'm the only one that does this)

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 11/29/2006 2:35:56 PM >

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 19

RE: The Secret Lives of Dommes - 11/29/2006 2:41:17 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

Color me clueless, but I'm still not fully getting your code here.

What show? Life in general? Sex? Whaaaat? Toss me a bone here!

While I don't NORMALLY do puppy play..here ya go:

"Have you ever been so impressed with your boy that you just give it up for him"? Turn the kid loose in the candy store per say? :)

I'm starting to think I'm the only one that does this)

I give up. I was not meant to understand your code in this post.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 20

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