RE: Master's Temper

RE: Master's Temper (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Master's Temper (12/4/2006 8:08:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists quote: ORIGINAL: Celeste43 Every time he acts out in such an inappropriate way you should get up and leave. Every time. If he wants to be out of control, that's his business. It isn't your responsibility to handle him, it is his. If he gets hurt, that will be his fault. He has to learn to handle the fallout from this. As long as you're there, picking up the pieces and vacuuming the carpet and bandaging his wounds, he won't learn anything. Don't repair anything, don't clean up, don't replace the broken objects. Leave them there. He now has to bandage his own wounds or go explain himself at an ER. He has to clean up the house or walk around seeing the piles of broken things. He has to pay his money to fix the windshield instead of going to the movies. Don't cover for him and don't stand by while he has his temper tantrums because being there is tantamount to approval. Walk out on him and don't depend on him to bring you home. Tell him that since you can't trust him to be in control, you will always have your own car. If you drive, you will leave him stranded. It's his problem, he's trying to make it yours. Don't let him. I thought this deserved repeating... I think this is a very good post. I have to go with Kyra on this point..but to add a few things of my own..first off...uncontrolled rage could also stem from depression and thus this should be looked into..second off..as some have said and I wish to reiterate that exercise is an excellent tool to use to help control rage..it increases the endorphins and gives you a sense of fulfillment and control..but otherwise when he behaves in a temper tantrum way he is no longer Dominant, he is a slave to his out of control emotions........Tempting

ownedgirlie -> RE: Master's Temper (12/4/2006 8:12:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub ...but otherwise when he behaves in a temper tantrum way he is no longer Dominant, he is a slave to his out of control emotions........Tempting What a great way of putting that.

daddysprop247 -> RE: Master's Temper (12/4/2006 8:19:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave quote: ORIGINAL: daddysprop247 now...as i stated, my Master does indeed beat me in a very controlled fashion when he is using me as a physical release for his anger/frustration with the outside world. now if i am the source of that anger?? then no he is not so controlled, but that is another topic entirely. the bottom line is that i'm not a vanilla girlfriend or wife (or an independent i am woman hear me roar submissive) who can tell him no or walk out the door if things get tough or scary...i'm a slave. and as he is quick to remind me, i'm not going anywhere, unless it's by HIS hand. and ya know? i kinda like that. :) Hey, as I have said in another thread, if you are getting off by his "beating" you then all good and well, to each his own. I jst got the impression from how you spoke initially on the subject that this was not the case. But as you say, you like it, enjoy. you misunderstood. i do not get "off" from being beaten (or anything else for that matter), and i am not ever beaten for my pleasure. as i even stated, we do not engage in "scening" and other bdsm activities where such things occur.

daddysprop247 -> RE: Master's Temper (12/4/2006 9:13:52 PM)
here is the frustrating thing with this (and many other) topics on this board: people become overly emotional about a particular issue, based on their own past demons/experiences, and become incapable of comprehending another viewpoint. worse, they start responding with outright disrespect and negativity. i have not been "brainwashed". my Master is not a murderer in the making. just because certain aspects of our relationship may be unpalatable to some here, and just because certain behaviors or activities might be the same that occured in the relationship of some unfortunate woman who was beaten to near death by her mate, does NOT make it the same. the difference is in the informed initial consent, the mutual fulfillment, and the control. but, this is something that some will just never understand or wish to understand.

SamKeithsslave -> RE: Master's Temper (12/4/2006 11:03:18 PM)
Initially I had hoped the gentleman training him would be more traditional. He was a Korean recently moved to quote: ORIGINAL: slavejali quote: Hmmm.......... only IF the man is willing to learn to teach himself the self-discipline to begin with and doesnt feel that everyone "deserves" what they get. My ex learnt martial arts, and far from it helping the situation all it did was enable him to kick me in the chest etc (He learnt Tae Kwondo). He has undergone a lot of counselling and treatment etc, but still maintans that I should have known better and shouldnt have irritated him. Yeah, I guess I should have said "learn martial arts with a traditional teacher". So much martial arts these days is just sports orientated, learn to kill someone etc, (so I hear you on that)....but traditionally its a whole system of character education, getting to know yourself, weeding out negative traits etc. Sports martial arts = cultivating ego Tradtional martial arts = understanding ego and refining it. Australia with his wife and two children. He was extremely strick with both his wife and children and I hoped he might have taken this approach when teaching. Sadly, as you have noted many teach merely the acts and motions and not the control behind it that should also be taught.

SamKeithsslave -> RE: Master's Temper (12/4/2006 11:20:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysprop247 here is the frustrating thing with this (and many other) topics on this board: people become overly emotional about a particular issue, based on their own past demons/experiences, and become incapable of comprehending another viewpoint. worse, they start responding with outright disrespect and negativity. I am not being emotional, overly or otherwise about this issue, I am being practical. I am not stating from my own experiences alone, but from many stats collected over a long time. And those reports will tell you "controlled" beatings can and will become uncontrolled and that the frequency and severity of the abuse will increase over time also. This is not me or anyone else being emotional, these are facts. I'm sorry you feel that those here who are showing concern at your well-being are somehow being disrespectful of you. i have not been "brainwashed". my Master is not a murderer in the making. just because certain aspects of our relationship may be unpalatable to some here, and just because certain behaviors or activities might be the same that occured in the relationship of some unfortunate woman who was beaten to near death by her mate, does NOT make it the same. the difference is in the informed initial consent, the mutual fulfillment, and the control. but, this is something that some will just never understand or wish to understand. While it is true that not all wife bashers will become murderers, it is a fact that the beatings will get less controlled, more frequent and generally worse. I'm sorry if you view that as a negative thing. What concerns me also is I was starting to think that these beatings were in some way "scening" as you put it in another post, yet they are not. If they are not, as you put it "engaging in "scening" and other BDSM activities where such things occur", then what are they? They are "beatings" and that is abuse.

LeatherBentOne -> RE: Master's Temper (12/5/2006 4:59:11 AM)
OP: The fact that he is setting you up to take the "blame" if he doesn't succeed with his anger management, is yet another red flag regarding abuse as is him physically taking his anger out on inanimate objects. Please tread most carefully here, be safe and best of luck. You may be dealing with a ticking time bomb especially if there is any type of substance abuse here. LBO

timeoutgurlie -> RE: Master's Temper (12/5/2006 5:53:33 AM)
Read through this and have to say of course my initial reaction regarding anyone being beaten was, "Oh, how horrible", but, as with most everything else in relationships, that's their choice. I wouldn't choose or accept the life that daddysprop is sharing with her partner, but that's my choice, and it's hers to live that way if that is what she accepts in her relationship. My only point of concern that didn't go away is that an "unmentionable" was included (I think) and so as parents I believe they'd be irresponsible to have this environment be one they're raising a wee one in. As two adults though, I see no problem with it being between them solely. Though I tend to go by that "consenting adults" rule with absolutely everything, and maybe that's not something that most feel is acceptable.

damia -> RE: Master's Temper (12/5/2006 7:19:39 AM)
my thanks go out to everyone for the ideas and suggestions. i'd like to make it clear that it was my idea, not His, that i help Him; however, He recognizes that it is a problem, and agrees that it needs to be controlled. Though He is somewhat controlled in it; He never takes it out on people. In fact, when He flared this last time, i tried stepping between Him and the object of irritation (Yes, you may think this stupid, but it's what we did as children with my father, who also had a temper that He took out on objects, but never on people). It didn't calm Master for long, but He stopped, picked me up, and gently set me on the bed. Yes, gently. i was scared, yes, but i also knew He wasn't going to hurt me. He and i have talked again about his anger issues, and i have told Him that while i will do whatever i can to help Him relax (because stress is a huge factor right now), He has to learn how to control His anger Himself. He agreed to this, and we set up a warning system (suggested by someone off the thread) to warn Him when He's gone to far and i'm about to leave, and then if He doesn't stop and talk about it or calm down, then i will leave the room, go for a walk, or depending on the intensity of the situation, leave to drive home. He and i both have issues with medical people. For Him, it's mostly dentists, and for me it's mostly psychologists. i told Him of the suggestions for anger management, but my personal feelings are that He should not have to deal with therapists and their stupid shit, and He agreed (before i stated my opinion). It's just not for us. As far as letting Him take His anger out on me, like prop's Master does, my Master will not even consider it. He says He does not want even the possibility of it becoming dangerous for me, and as He cannot control His anger if He thinks about what is causing it, He does not want me to be the target. i'll be moving closer to Him by January (for other reasons; moving closer to Him is not the main reason), and hope to be able to help Him by being closer. i can tell usually that my being around helps Him relax and takes a lot of stress off Him, and He has said as much as well. He and i will be working at this over time, and i'm sure it'll work out in the end. damia

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Master's Temper (12/5/2006 7:23:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: damia i'll be moving closer to Him by January (for other reasons; moving closer to Him is not the main reason), and hope to be able to help Him by being closer. i can tell usually that my being around helps Him relax and takes a lot of stress off Him, and He has said as much as well. He and i will be working at this over time, and i'm sure it'll work out in the end. damia I think over the long term your presence won't be as much of a mediator. He needs to find other outlets for his rage, he needs to understand and share the cause of his rage, not just a steam release button you can pull for him. As far as SK- beatings are not necessarily abuse. Stop projecting your definitions of abuse on someone else. I've been told that my owner telling me to sleep on the floor was abusive and that was crap. Telling me that my owner hitting me to release anger is abuse just because it's not a "scene" is crap also.

mistoferin -> RE: Master's Temper (12/5/2006 7:39:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Telling me that my owner hitting me to release anger is abuse just because it's not a "scene" is crap also. LA, you know that you and I will always be at odds on this one. You have given your view of it and I feel that I need to balance that with the opposing view....even if that makes me "full of crap" in your eyes. I believe that violence rooted in anger and rage and enacted upon another human being is abuse.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Master's Temper (12/5/2006 7:42:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin I believe that violence rooted in anger and rage and enacted upon another human being is abuse. Yeah but you aren't giving a silly causal caveat of "because it's not a scene." You're consistent. That I can respect.

SamKeithsslave -> RE: Master's Temper (12/5/2006 8:07:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: damia i'll be moving closer to Him by January (for other reasons; moving closer to Him is not the main reason), and hope to be able to help Him by being closer. i can tell usually that my being around helps Him relax and takes a lot of stress off Him, and He has said as much as well. He and i will be working at this over time, and i'm sure it'll work out in the end. damia I think over the long term your presence won't be as much of a mediator. He needs to find other outlets for his rage, he needs to understand and share the cause of his rage, not just a steam release button you can pull for him. As far as SK- beatings are not necessarily abuse. Stop projecting your definitions of abuse on someone else. Excuse me? Isnt this what you do all the time? Project YOUR beliefs and opinions onto people? And I have made it quite clear that what I have said is MY beliefs and have clearly stated "to each their own" and if that "floats their boat" then so be it. How dare you presume to tell me to stop doing anything. I've been told that my owner telling me to sleep on the floor was abusive and that was crap. Telling me that my owner hitting me to release anger is abuse just because it's not a "scene" is crap also. I didnt use the word "scene" first daddysprop did. I was trying to establish exactly how these "beatings" she spoke of occured. Amazing how you continue to single me out when others hold the same view, regardless of whether or not they used the word "scene" or not.

SamKeithsslave -> RE: Master's Temper (12/5/2006 8:11:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin I believe that violence rooted in anger and rage and enacted upon another human being is abuse. Yeah but you aren't giving a silly causal caveat of "because it's not a scene." You're consistent. That I can respect. You know, thats it, I have had enough, I'm outta here, you win!! You have pushed me out. You pathetic pettiness is so inground you just cant help yourself. I dont need to read your BS any more. And before you again criticise me for getting upset over "internet" non-real BS, I'm not. I just dont need to waste my time on people like you. There is no need you for rude inuendo.

Jeffshope -> RE: Master's Temper (12/5/2006 10:36:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I would encourage him to do some deep soul searching to find out where all that rage is coming from. I agree - usually smashingthings comes right before smashing you. Don't be blind. He needs some professional help - don't fall into the "I can save him" mentality.

Missokyst -> RE: Master's Temper (12/5/2006 11:34:05 AM)
It wouldn't be ok to me simply because I could never see a tantrum as the act of a mature person. I grew up in a partiallly controlled household. Well, my mother was controlled. My dad would often punch a hole in the wall, kick a crack in the porcelain bowl, or fling a radio cross the room. I never found trantrums acceptable, and had little respect for my father. I don't think it is up to you to change him. He has to want it and seek it out. I hope it is only his items which feel the destruction. I wouldn't cater to him. Kyst

Celeste43 -> RE: Master's Temper (12/5/2006 9:39:28 PM)
One additional thought, tell him to go get a check up including thyroid function tests. Overactive thyroid can cause rage. So can cysts in the brain, benign tumors and a bunch of other treatable things.

blinkingababy -> RE: Master's Temper (1/12/2007 9:04:11 PM)
u should send him to anger managment and councling ... it will help

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125