Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY

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Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 2:10:04 PM

Darthbetta

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline

There is a YES AND NO aspect to the "scene" as to being SSC.

on the right we have NO ALCOHOL AT ALL !
on the left we have PARTY IT UP !

I'm in the middle.

I like having a very lucid and focused demenor, but also have a light and carefree relaxed aptmosphere while I top, or scene.
Being "wasted", or otherwise intoxicated to the point of no motor control, or moral/ mental ablility to reason and judge what is going on is obviously a bad thing at all levels durring any kind of play.

I'm talking about the giggly "high" one gets after a few hours of socializing, a few glasses of wine, dinner, and then perhaps a cocktail and then a nice scene with friends, in a club, or even at home in private. It is a state of relaxed mind and body. Sure there are many different kinds of play, and intensities. If I was doing some very rough play , or dangerous Edgeplay, I would want 100% sober focus and safety at all times.... is this not what being a "omnipresent and omnipotent" Dom is ?

I am always aware of my surroundings at all times, and focused on what is happening.
To do anything else is irresponsible.
"KNOW WHEN TO SAY WHEN"... and " HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH".

Some people have no control even while sober... they get wrapped up in the moment.

I find that being "intoxicated" is not just an alcohol thing... for some they show similar symptoms while in scene as a TOP and they are merely high on the power trip and endorphins depending on the level of play and intensity.

It does not require sobriety to tie someone up, talk dirty to them, and have kinky sex...... or many other aspects.

I have found that the UK has a slightly more relaxed view on this alcohol thing also...

Anyone understand what I am getting at here ?

thanks

ok, DISCUSS !

< Message edited by Darthbetta -- 2/16/2005 2:14:11 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 2:12:56 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I ban alcohol at all parties I host. I just don't want the liability. I've seen people press charges for rape in the past at other parties. Well, I was drunk and this and that happened.
Why deal with it?

Now as far as being a couple is concerned. If in the privacy of your own home. I really don't see anything wrong with it. As long as you are being responsible.

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 2

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 2:15:17 PM

Darthbetta

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline

That makes sense sub4hire, but why not a "consent form" and vaiver of liability in that case ? ?

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 3

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 2:16:29 PM

aliljaded1

Posts: 121
Joined: 6/20/2004
Status: offline

i feel like if youre w/ someone for a long time and youre not trying anything "new" (being suspended , bloodplay , breath play) its ok to have a glass of wine before a scene , in fact i recomend it to a "bottom" (imho). it works for me and helps me relax when i feel like i cant wait another min to get started.(paitience not being one of my better qualities when im sceneing ) i do NOT recomend getting shitfaced. its not safe no matter how well you think you can handle it , ive seen alot of people hurt (badly) because they made poor judgement calls because they were'nt "lucid"

_____________________________

**The mind is its own place,and in itself can make a heaven of hell, and a hell of heaven**

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 4

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 2:17:28 PM

RealityFix

Posts: 156
Joined: 8/12/2004
Status: offline

Out of control is out of control.

Anyone rationalizing playing while impaired is pretty much the same as those trying to do the same with driving in the same condition-it's a wreck,waiting to happen.

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 5

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 2:17:45 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

That makes sense sub4hire, but why not a "consent form" and vaiver of liability in that case ? ?

In reality would it stand up? BDSM and all?

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 6

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 2:23:43 PM

RealityFix

Posts: 156
Joined: 8/12/2004
Status: offline

A consent form to be abused is a waste of paper.

Illegal contract.

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 7

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 2:24:42 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

A consent form to be abused is a waste of paper.

Illegal contract.

That's what I've always thought to. Just wasn't 100% positive.

(in reply to RealityFix)

Post #: 8

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 2:35:19 PM

NATI

Posts: 177
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

Alcohol and BDSM don't mix well. Alcohol slows down and distorts perception. Even with smaller amounts of alcohol, a sub (for example) may not feel sensations that he/she would unimpaired, and risks injury because that *pins and needles* sensation in the wrists went unreported. Not worth it.

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 9

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 2:38:47 PM

liltxsubby

Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
Status: offline

i think drunk and scening is a bad idea. i lose enough control when i get into subspace, and i look to my Dom to be in control and know when we've gotten to the enough's enough spot. If he was drunk, i wouldn't be able to relax and trust him to see to my safety, therefore we would both be denied.

A lil something before a scene to relax i don't see as a problem.

_____________________________

I'm Japan and Godzilla has taken over.

Laugh with them, or let them laugh at you.

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 10

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 4:02:46 PM

knkywch

Posts: 53
Joined: 7/23/2004
From: Cal-iFORN-eye-yay
Status: offline

I wonder if answers are different based on geography...

I'm a Northern California sorta crunchy granola liberal state kinda gal -- also a "no way" kinda gal. Don't like the smell of alcoholic beverages anyway.

And, because alcohol is a mood altering substance, I feel more than a little nervous when it is combined with BDSM activities. My sense is that when using some mood-altering substances like recreational drugs and alcohol, there is a higher risk that the user is not as present and available to connect with me as s/he would be if sober.

For me, usually erotic power exchange is about an ultra-enhanced connection wherein the giving and receiving of energy becomes intense and potent -- sort of like playing high speed catch with a baseball on fire... Science has proven that a small amount of alcohol in the bloodstream can impair a person's ability to respond to stimuli. We already tread on risky ground with some of WIIWD. Why would I want to introduce any more unnecessary risk into the equation?

kw

_____________________________

I don't think I'm gay. I don't think I'm straight. I think I'm just slutty. Where's MY parade? -Margaret Cho-

(in reply to liltxsubby)

Post #: 11

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 4:26:16 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darthbetta
There is a YES AND NO aspect to the "scene" as to being SSC.

I'm in the middle.

I am always aware of my surroundings at all times, and focused on what is happening.
To do anything else is irresponsible.
"KNOW WHEN TO SAY WHEN"... and " HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH".

I'm with you in the middle; I've never enjoyed alcohol enough to seriously worry about drinking too much (I'm a 2-3 drink maximum type), and while I don't require alcohol to have fun, If it is available, I will take a drink to loosen up just a smidgen (so I'm not hyperaware)...

I do imagine though that this can be more problematic when it's a Dom , it's not worth the potential trouble it can bring... It's extremely rare (if not unheard of) to hear about a guy complaining of getting drunk/taken advange of/raped, though plenty of guys have done the deed while not in condition to consent... M

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 12

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 7:25:08 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

In reality would it stand up?

Very astute observation Gloria, the answer is no-you can not sign away liability. And even if you could and the person drinking hits and kills, or worse from a litigation standpoint injures someone. The person may come back at you under host liability.

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 13

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 8:39:11 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

There is a YES AND NO aspect to the "scene" as to being SSC.

on the right we have NO ALCOHOL AT ALL !
on the left we have PARTY IT UP !

I'm in the middle.

I'm in the no booze/drugs catagory.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 14

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/16/2005 11:17:52 PM

pandoravampire

Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline

Im in the middle here too. But it would depend on how well i knew or trusted the person i was with.

In my past, ive played on drugs, and ive played on alcohol, ive even played on both. Irresponsible? probably. Would i do it again? probably. Having a erotically trippy sexual experience is quite some experience!

Anything this powerful off of drugs, (and alcohol is a drug folks), is gonna be outta this world on em in my opinion. However, that is not necessarily what i now seek. So i dont.

The power exchange during my current D/s is subjectively better without the use of drugs. This way, i know that the delightful heady sexual encounter i have just had, i had - NATURALLY. He is doing this to me, not some drug. He is the drug. Just about as addictive too id say. Submitting, subspace, flying - all of these i can relate to a drugged state of euphoria, the similarities are startingly obvious to me.

A nice warmish glow from a glass of red wine, would be about the most id like to drink. But my alcohol tolerance is extreemly low. But if i had a partner who said 'NO DRUGS', that would be fine.

However, THC or cannabis is quite another matter! It does not change my boundries, just my enjoyment of playing within them is enhanced. Again, this is not a NATURAL state of sexual euphoria, i prefer natural these days. Especially where i am the one doing most of the work. THC is more 'take' than 'give' i find. Even a blow job is given for my pleasure if im slightly stoned or tipsy. Whereas, when off of all drugs, i can remember more easily, who im there to serve - oops!

Outside of the bedroom if im required to be attentively submissive, then i need to be sober or i get rather bold and unprofitably assertive.

i can see arguments for both sides of the coin. with some serious variables like edge play swaying the consensus of opinion.

So, wine enema anyone?

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 15

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/17/2005 5:37:28 AM

MsCameron

Posts: 238
Joined: 10/14/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

I'm in the middle.

In Ontario a lot of the public play parties have a bar in the venue. In the 7 or 8 years I've been attending, I've only seen one incident and heard about one other where someone had played while being intoxicated. While no lasting damage was done, community disapproval was fast and furious.

MsC

< Message edited by MsCameron -- 2/17/2005 8:02:10 AM >

_____________________________

I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.
Spiral out. Keep going, going...
Lateralis.Tool

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 16

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/17/2005 7:56:27 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darthbetta
I am always aware of my surroundings at all times, and focused on what is happening.
To do anything else is irresponsible.
"KNOW WHEN TO SAY WHEN"... and " HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH". Anyone understand what I am getting at here ?

You're completely correct, it's a cultural thing. Americans are VERY puritanical when it comes to alcohol still.

I don't drink alcohol myself so it's never an issue. However, my partners do drink. What I can say is this- if I trust them enough to be in a relationship with them, I need to trust them that they know their tolerances. People can engage in reasonably physical acts with some alcohol.

Now, not everyone is aware of their tolerances and not everyone feels comfy saying no sometimes and yes other times. In these cases, perhaps a blanket statement of not mixing the two is in order. But that's not the situation I am in.

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 17

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/17/2005 8:30:06 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

Access Denied

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 3/15/2005 10:22:37 PM >

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 18

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/17/2005 12:41:05 PM

Hawkins

Posts: 31
Joined: 10/14/2004
From: I'm English but I live in the Netherlands
Status: offline

I live in Holland. Every public event I have been to (I've only been out like that in the past year) has had alcohol. I've not seen any problems.

I think common-sense prevails. If you play, don't drink too much. It isn't rocket science. Likewise other stimulants.

_____________________________

People living in glass paradigms shouldn't throw stones...

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 19

RE: Drinking, Doming, and scening... OK ? or NO WAY - 2/17/2005 2:25:57 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

You're completely correct, it's a cultural thing. Americans are VERY puritanical when it comes to alcohol still.
<SNIP>

Now, not everyone is aware of their tolerances and not everyone feels comfy saying no sometimes and yes other times. In these cases, perhaps a blanket statement of not mixing the two is in order. But that's not the situation I am in.

Most of the play I do has been in public venues. I've always appreciated the no booze rules. I am fairly confident that I can control my use, but I'm not always comfortable trusting other people I don't know.

I had a scene go south on Saturday night and had to think fast and make a snap judgement call in order to protect the safety of the bottom. Had I had a glass of wine or two at dinner or at the venue, I'm not so sure that I would have had the reaction time that I needed to make the judgement and take the situation into hand and get it under control.

And the above is a prime example of why I'm very comfortable in a sober atmosphere where S&M play is happening.

I don't want to have to think about the 'what could happen if's..." with regard to mood alterers. I want to be able to deal with what actually happens in a manner that I know I'm 100% on my game.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 20

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