Annoying things BDSM'ers say

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MisPandora -> Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/9/2006 10:45:58 PM)
I just read three consecutive posts where individuals, male and female, dominant and submissive, used "Dominate" as a noun, i.e. "I've been a dominate all my life" or "I seek a responsible dominate." The proper usage is: verb: "I dominated her all night long." "He couldn't dominate me if he held a gun to my head." noun: "If only he would find a dominant to love him forever..." "I am a sadistic dominant." ****************************************************** What other annoying things do folks say that make you shake your head and mutter? And what should they be saying? I ask this not as a snarky post, but one steeped in education. It is my hope that someone out there will read one of these things and say, "Wow, I've been using that word wrong all my adult life!"

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/9/2006 11:01:29 PM)
"Oh you just haven't had (insert painful action) done to you right, I can get you to like it." "Yeah, I do (insert type of extreme play)" looks at me with expectant smug look on their face "Here, let me give you some pointers" as I'm in the middle of playing with someone. Looking at me like I'm a confused alien after I tell them "We're both switches." These are more attitude issues than actual word issues. I love/hate when someone says "We're SSC" like that's supposed to mean something to me.

cabernet -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/9/2006 11:03:23 PM)
Ummm... I hate to tell you this, but the word "dominant" is actually not a noun. It is an adjective, a describing word. Although in the BDSM world it has become accepted to use it as a noun because it is always meant to be followed by noun such as "man" or "woman". However, I do know what you mean about "dominate". That drives me CRAZY!!! People use it as both an adjective or a noun. "I am a dominate man." "Don't mess around with those fakes, you need a real dominate!"

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/9/2006 11:07:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cabernet Ummm... I hate to tell you this, but the word "dominant" is actually not a noun. It is an adjective, a describing word. Although in the BDSM world it has become accepted to use it as a noun because it is always meant to be followed by noun such as "man" or "woman". Actually, you're probably thinking of "submissive" which does not technically have a noun form. Jargonistically though, it's much easier to just accept "submissive" in the Ds sense as a noun. Dominant, on the other hand, does have a recognized noun form. Though its primary form is indeed as an adjective or adverb.

Aileen68 -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/9/2006 11:15:55 PM)
I have (blah blah blah) years experience in the "lifestyle"

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/9/2006 11:24:49 PM)
"You're not a true (Dominant/submissive/etc..) if you don't (whatever.)

TxBlkMistress -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/9/2006 11:32:30 PM)
*usually said after they send me their number or IM address on the very first email* "You're obviously not serious about "all this" since you won't... [call/IM] me right now." [sm=banghead.gif]

MisPandora -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/9/2006 11:48:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cabernet Ummm... I hate to tell you this, but the word "dominant" is actually not a noun. It is an adjective, a describing word. Although in the BDSM world it has become accepted to use it as a noun because it is always meant to be followed by noun such as "man" or "woman". You are correct in that dominant can be used as an adjective. However, in the manner that these folks are trying to use a word, it is usually in the position of a noun. "I am a dominant." Main Entry: dominant Function: noun 1 : the fifth tone of a diatonic scale 2 a : a dominant genetic character or factor b : any of one or more kinds of organism (as a species) in an ecological community that exerts a controlling influence on the environment and thereby largely determines what other kinds of organisms are present c : a dominant individual in a social hierarchy Main Entry: dom·i·nant Function: adjective Pronunciation: -n&nt Etymology: Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin dominant-, dominans, present participle of dominari 1 : commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others 2 : overlooking and commanding from a superior position 3 : of, relating to, or exerting ecological or genetic dominance 4 : being the one of a pair of bodily structures that is the more effective or predominant in action <dominant eye> DOMINANT applies to something that is uppermost because ruling or controlling <a dominant social class>.

MisPandora -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/9/2006 11:50:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 I have (blah blah blah) years experience in the "lifestyle" OK, play along now -- what should they be saying instead?

Aileen68 -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/10/2006 12:02:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 I have (blah blah blah) years experience in the "lifestyle" OK, play along now -- what should they be saying instead? To me that's almost like saying that I have 38 years experience breathing. How does someone put aspects of who they are into such specific timeframes? I didn't turn twenty five and then all of a sudden become submissive. It's been incorporated throughout my personality my whole life. Do I say that I have 38 years experience? I don't know...it's three in the morning. Maybe it would seem better to me if they said something more in the line of "I've been aware of these aspects of me and have chosen to act on them for x amount of years" When they phrase it like I originally stated it is like they are submitting a resume and I should be impressed that they are CEO.

MisPandora -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/10/2006 12:05:33 AM)
Cool Aileen....thanks for sharing why that bothers you and what you'd feel more comfortable hearing someone say. I only hope that one person in the world walks away from the thread knowing they have us rolling our eyes when they say some of this stuff and how not to sound like such a doofus.

leatherorlace -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/10/2006 12:28:15 AM)
"Yeah, dat's right, What she said", I would utter if I was in a smartass mood or mode of thought this early morning, but, I agree with her, not completely, but enough to recognize intellect and saavy. I'd almost warrant that, I've had skewed opinions that would give rise to ire in most everyone here, but that'd ruin My healin' image of being all wise just because, I flubbed it, embraced it, humped a few legs, and learned a great deal over the seasons, and hope to indulge Myself with another fifty or so of Delicious Deviance. Having others recognize My differences when meeting them personally just confirms their belief that, I am what, I claim, and beaucoup more. Making extravagant claims in fictional form can be entertaining, but we shouldn't confuse fiction and another NET spawned lie of weekend bondage gone bad.. There are those that prey on the vulnerable and they eachhave the same reasons, but may not have the same "button" to set them to committ deadly deeds. For some that's the thrill, is this real ,or is it Memorex? "Have I misjudged the 'parroted' verbage of another, is what should be asked. If a predator would memorize, just by following the "word de jour" or latest "guru's" interpretations, the varmint could fool and possibly injure an uninformed person for a while, especially if he can segregate them. How might you increase your complete illumination is to send Me forty-eleventeen dollars (US) for My handy four page guide to deliverance from the wicked ways of de Sade and assorted other notables. Makes Me wonder if he spanked those asscheeks of Monica's while he rehydrated his cigar in her ,,,, I've gotta quit fantasizing about that. hehehehheee Gentry PS: I lost control when, I first encountered fishing line, honeysuckle vines and spare clothesline, and it's been a fine path, most of My sojourn. Bright Blessings quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 OK, play along now -- what should they be saying instead? To me that's almost like saying that I have 38 years experience breathing. How does someone put aspects of who they are into such specific timeframes? I didn't turn twenty five and then all of a sudden become submissive. It's been incorporated throughout my personality my whole life. Do I say that I have 38 years experience? I don't know...it's three in the morning. Maybe it would seem better to me if they said something more in the line of "I've been aware of these aspects of me and have chosen to act on them for x amount of years" When they phrase it like I originally stated it is like they are submitting a resume and I should be impressed that they are CEO.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/10/2006 1:15:42 AM)
I dislike these: "work with" (as in "I'm working with Master Taserblazer.") "scene" (as in both "How is the scene in La Jolla?" and "I'm scening with Master Taserblazer.") "living a fantasy" (as in "She wants to do WHAT? She's living a fantasy.") "under my protection (as in "Fiestywench4u69xoxo is now under my protection.") "damsel" (as in, you know...) "milord" (same shit) "milady" (uh huh) "midear" (I thought that's where infections occur) "respected in the community" (as in "Master Taserblazer is highly respected in the community.") "the community" (it doesn't mean anything) "consentual" (please, children, learn how to fucking spell) and my least favorite of all: "safe, sane, consensual" (as in "If you're not playing SSC, then you're just living a fantasy.")

ownedgirlie -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/10/2006 2:08:12 AM)
I understand all of those except "working with." Why don't you like that one? I say that a lot without really thinking about it. "My Master is working with a girl in La Jolla right now", for example (I used La Jolla because it's a cool place you mentioned it). I've never thought twice about it.

GirlWithInk -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/10/2006 2:21:44 AM)
As someone who is into roleplaying, SCA stuff, etc, 'm'Lord' and 'm'Lady' are actually titles I kinda like hearing... if the circumstances call for it. The same applies to Master/Mistress, Sir/Ma'am, wench, slut, boy/girl, anything: if you want me to use ANY sort of title for you, expect to be disappointed unless there is a reason for it, either I'm using it out of respect or it's the appropriate form of address for the setting we are both in. Similarly, if you call me by a title when it's inappropriate - calling me Mistress when we're having a casual vanilla conversation in public, refusing to call me m'Lady if we are doing a fairly heavy BDSM-laced roleplay scene when I have told you that is what I expect - I'm going to be pretty annoyed. The "One Twoo Way" concept - if you tell me that the way YOU do something is the only way, the best way, the right way, the correct way, anything other than 'well, here's what I do, it's worked for me and I think you might benefit from it, do you want to hear about it?', I'm going to assume you're an ass and then even if you DO have good advice, I likely won't notice 'cos I'm busy ignoring you. ^.^ "You're not a true submissive if you don't do 'x' for me/don't do what I say the moment I deign to talk to you/don't talk in a way I find appropriate for submissives/whatever". Just... grr. GRRRR. "I have no limits." Ooh. Either you're lying, talking out your ass, or just have no grasp on reality, in which case I don't want to play with you... you're telling the truth, in which case you have no regard for your own safety and health or for the mental stability of your partner, in which case you scare the crap out of me and I don't want to play with you... or you're saying what you think I want to hear, in which case you haven't been paying attention, and again, yep, don't want to play with you. The same applies to a Dom/me who says that their submissives should have no limits. "I am fully trained." ...ok. By who? Trained as what? For how long? And what makes you think that their idea of what a submissive's training should be is my idea of what a submissive's training should be? Why do you think that training is something that only needs to be done once, for a set period of time, and never again? Don't you intend to ever learn anything more? Don't you think maybe the person you were with previously might not have known EVERYTHING? Do you think you're perfect, that because Person A handed you a certificate that you can now instantly and perfectly please Person B without even getting to know them, what they want, what they like or dislike? Yeesh. "There is no such thing as a real slave." ...this really, REALLY bothers me, because it boils down to semantics, doesn't consider things such as modern day human slave traffic of the BAD sorts, says nothing about individual definitions of the words, what the person who says they are a slave honestly feels, etc. "Oh, so you're a slave? Ok, lick my boots." Yeah, right, mister. I may be a slave, but I'm not YOUR slave. Ditto "Oh, you're into kink, that means I can spank you." Um, no. It means I can spank YOU, but I won't, 'cos you're an idiot. Ditto "Oh, your Master hasn't shared you with someone/you don't want to be shared? You're not a slave." or "What, you've slept with people other than your Master? You're just a slut." Grrrrrrrr. >.<

KatyLied -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/10/2006 2:56:57 AM)
"I have collared many girls." Okay, thanks for sharing with me how indiscriminate you are and how you will collar anything that moves. "Master is always right." That's funny, is Master god or does he have a god complex? "I am under consideration." Consideration for what? To be his friend? For relationship potential? Or is he calling it that in order to make you feel better while he gets sex from you?

swtnsparkling -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/10/2006 3:09:49 AM)
I've been reading the boards here now about two years and things said really don't bother me any more. Even the dominate-dominant doesnt bother me. One thing that used to drive me up a wall- was years ago in chat rooms when I would see all this sis-sis-sis and being called sis by strangers ( other subs) just because I was sub myself. Silly I know but boy did that irk me LOL

PoeticPrincess -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/10/2006 3:12:47 AM)
I agree with KatyLied... the quote "Ive collared many Subs." is amusing. And where are they now.. slipped their leashes whilst you were inspecting your bald patch? The idea of a Dom writing with the words, I demand complete obedience and submission, and will order every aspect of your life....! Er.. hello. YOU wont. You will be lucky if I dont savage you before discarding your polite request to run the rest of my life. A Dom who just wants playthings had better look elsewhere. Im a woman who knows enough to spot a fake/loser/insecure man bolstering himself up with a succession of wannabee kids who he has no idea how to train into true loving submission. The real test is, will he make you fall in love with him, offer you his hand so you can step forward and await the moment when, deserving your gift, being love-worthy and a great person, you give him your entire heart, soul, world, future? Demand, shemand. Its nonsense demanding what it is not your right to ask for. IMHO of course..

RedSavageSlave -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/10/2006 6:18:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora What other annoying things do folks say that make you shake your head and mutter? And what should they be saying? "Age is just a number" From the oh so domly 20 somethings who want to own a 42 year old woman and cant understand that just because THEY love older women, I DONT love younger men.<shakes head>

angharad -> RE: Annoying things BDSM'ers say (12/10/2006 6:21:24 AM)
I've had one message that simply said, 'hmmm.' I was bemused enough to reply and ask if he had pressed send to soon or was in the middle of thoughtful contemplation, lol! I think the answer was along the lines of, you caught MY attention. Of course I thought wow and went running to see who this great hmmmmer was [:D] One of the most annoying though has to be single liners like, tell me about yourself and what you want. Maybe its just me, but that sort of introduction isnt going to get the details of my personal life and my kinks out of me! I guess I'm prickly. I don't understand the aversion to using the term I'm new to the scene. Especially when for some it is not a lifestyle. Perhaps its this difference that is the reason? Another that raises my eyebrows is, 'My master is seeking another to serve with me....... ' Cynical me. I shall start keeping a list [:D]

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