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RE: Misreading? - 12/19/2006 10:47:22 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
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Can you say way tooooo much baggage.
I dont think its cold feet,course this is MY OWN VIEW.
Sounds like shes playing you and for some reason I get the feeling the EX always shows up at 9:30.
The last no show with 15 minutes notice is rude,and whats ruder is when they turn it around and say well I could have not shown up...That shows some character thats not too becoming.

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Post #: 81

RE: Misreading? - 12/20/2006 7:29:28 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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She'll do a lot better to look at men who have their own children to whom they are devoted to.

Yes, the ex was deliberately sabotaging her and you made it clear that you would expect to come before her children.

No I don't blame her for not mentioning them right away as there are people out there who seek subs with children in order to commit crimes. Same reason she wouldn't bring them with you, their protection is the priority.

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Post #: 82

RE: Misreading? - 12/20/2006 8:35:30 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

If he is the lama, who is the clown?

ohhh no clowns *shudders* clowns are freaky

" Can't sleep, clowns will eat me"

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Post #: 83

RE: Misreading? - 12/21/2006 5:01:23 PM

Noah

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Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SmokingGun82

Noah- if I know in advance you're going to be a little late, I can wait... since I do understand that no one's perfect. Phone calls and warnings go a long way.

Well let me know when you're gonna be in town, Gun. The first couple of rounds are on me, no pun intended.

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Post #: 84

RE: Misreading? - 12/21/2006 5:05:02 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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Set up one last meeting at 9:30, perhaps?

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Post #: 85

RE: Misreading? - 12/21/2006 9:35:54 PM

CandleInTheWind

Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
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Smoking Gun,
May I back you up a bit on this??

Well lets reread this situation shall we? Should this man even bother getting invovled with someone that couldnt manage to have predictable child care for the first time they are going to meet? It is a vision of things to come in my opinion...sure the first time..okay everyone can have an unexpected problem but well then the second time plan for the x to fudge things up...I am a mother to 6 unmentionables and the ex wife of a man that tried to wreck my world on a daily basis...but where the difference lies is that I do not depend upon him to have a social life...I have a few friends that i trust to keep the kids...i have a few neighborhood kids that can babysit...and i have the older ones...

As far as bringing the kid to a meeting? NEVER EVER EVER would i bring my child to meet someone that i do not know....My children do not meet anyone that i do not know and trust well...my children have never even met about 1/3 of the people that i interact with! and that is becasue i do not want to have my children have any issues at all. I am open mindly but well it is very difficult to explain to a 12 year old why the nice person in the 3 inch heels and the stockings has a 5 oclock shadow...Im sorry, they have enough issue being from a large family with a father that tries to warp their minds...i have to protect them when ever and how ever i can! It is my opinion that only people that will be ongoing pieces in their lives need to be a part of their lives. Particularly for divorced children they ted to attach themseves to people of the sex of the parent that isnt in their lives all of the time...in my case a man.

and so that is my opinion, Smoking gun...if she cant arrange to meet you for the second time it is my opinion that it is a clue of things to come.
little red

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Post #: 86

RE: Misreading? - 12/22/2006 1:12:30 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
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I think making a decision as to what someone will and won't accept is valid - regardless what side of the fence it falls on. She was late. I understand that. I have kids too and an ex who likes to mess around with my head. So.. I figured that out and got a babysitter that had nothing to do with him. It's not that big a stretch to figure things out like that.

I also understand that kid issues are amongst the best excuses in the world when you are unsure of something, so I understand the OP's stand as well.

It's not up to anyone other than the mother to make allowances for the people she's responsible for. It's not up to me or the op or anyone else to understand and empathize with her predicament. Presuming that as an adult, she's reasonably mature, she should be able to handle her own responsibilities. If she's not, then that also speaks to her ability to handle the responsibilities of a new relationship that might be in the offing. And just in case the point is made, falling back on the excuse "not everyone can afford it" with regards to child care: if you can't afford to do it, then you shouldn't be doing it is a real nice rule to follow. It leaves responsibility right square on the person who SHOULD be having the responsibility for what ever quirks a divided family can create.

Personally, if she couldn't call, then that should have been that. The fact that a second opportunity was provided was simply being nice. Unless and until someone commits to someone else, no one is required to "do" anything or even to be understanding. It's nice, but just how many of the people stating he "should have given her more opportunities" have hard and fast rules regarding the behavior of a dominant at a first meeting? The road runs in both ways and in my opinion, he had the absolute right to make some standards for himself on what he would and would not accept in the way of the behavior of someone else.

juliet

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Post #: 87

RE: Misreading? - 12/22/2006 1:44:00 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
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greetings smoking

i had this happen to me and i meant this person here and we talk for a long to ttime and i am a very good judge and i had a keen 6th sense of knowing someone is safe or dangerous annd it jhas always worked for me i could tell the nuts but what they write and sooner or later they would make a mistake and say something wierd but this time i was way off and he was the kept like strong but willing to give himself so i learn if they blown you off two times it is it over good for you we must watch out for many things i hope you find that person you looking for take care

have a merry christmas
mons

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Post #: 88

RE: Misreading? - 12/23/2006 11:34:34 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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Yes, the mods ment you too, You're the only one flaming the Op.

quote:

ORIGINAL: padparacha

the mod wasnt really talking to me..

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Post #: 89

RE: Misreading? - 12/23/2006 11:41:36 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

I think making a decision as to what someone will and won't accept is valid - regardless what side of the fence it falls on. She was late. I understand that. I have kids too and an ex who likes to mess around with my head. So.. I figured that out and got a babysitter that had nothing to do with him. It's not that big a stretch to figure things out like that.

I also understand that kid issues are amongst the best excuses in the world when you are unsure of something, so I understand the OP's stand as well.

It's not up to anyone other than the mother to make allowances for the people she's responsible for. It's not up to me or the op or anyone else to understand and empathize with her predicament. Presuming that as an adult, she's reasonably mature, she should be able to handle her own responsibilities. If she's not, then that also speaks to her ability to handle the responsibilities of a new relationship that might be in the offing. And just in case the point is made, falling back on the excuse "not everyone can afford it" with regards to child care: if you can't afford to do it, then you shouldn't be doing it is a real nice rule to follow. It leaves responsibility right square on the person who SHOULD be having the responsibility for what ever quirks a divided family can create.

Personally, if she couldn't call, then that should have been that. The fact that a second opportunity was provided was simply being nice. Unless and until someone commits to someone else, no one is required to "do" anything or even to be understanding. It's nice, but just how many of the people stating he "should have given her more opportunities" have hard and fast rules regarding the behavior of a dominant at a first meeting? The road runs in both ways and in my opinion, he had the absolute right to make some standards for himself on what he would and would not accept in the way of the behavior of someone else.

juliet