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Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 3:01:25 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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OOPs.. LOL.. I posted this to the wrong forum. This looks like the right place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, I have got to admit I just don't get it. I LOVE orgasms! They are relaxing, they make me content, give me a sense of well being, and when provided by someone close, I feel I could walk to the ends of the earth for them if they asked.
Having that body to body contact, exchange of fluids, hot breath and sweat is like a drug that keeps me in willing to do almost anything to please him for a long time.
Lack of that pulsing, throbbing relief, for me, makes me irritable and unhappy.

Last night the topic of orgasm control came up in one of my chat rooms. I said.. I just don't understand that. And lol.. about half the doms immediately said; "It is about control! How is it submission if we are giving you orgasms for YOUR pleasure? If you enjoy it, it isn't submission."

Well.. I have done plenty I didn't particularly enjoy because I was with someone who made me mindnumbingly happy in other areas. And.. actually, doing those things, even though they were not enjoyable.. became enjoyable because I really needed to please that guy who brought me such physical relief.

I have to wonder if there is a need to control orgasms because they have so much fear of unabandoned sexuality.

What are your thoughts? Do you enjoy orgasm control and if so, why? Have you been denied orgasms? What does it bring you?
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

Post #: 1

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 3:44:41 PM

Rover

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Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

I am certainly not of the belief that if you enjoy an orgasm as a submissive, it isn't submission. That is an illogical point of view (as if one cannot derive pleasure from their submission).

However, I do enjoy orgasm control, and yes it's about control (and specifically, about control of something so very personal). That is not to be confused with orgasm denial, which is an entirely different issue (the absence of orgasms). Orgasm control does not imply the absence of orgasms, but control over the when, where, how, etc. that they are to be experienced.

The pleasure of that control also includes the gratification experienced with the "giving" of orgasms. Depending upon the level of control and individual capabilities, that may include orgasm on command (great for some semi-public play, and for sadists).

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 2

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 3:48:50 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

I am certainly not of the belief that if you enjoy an orgasm as a submissive, it isn't submission. That is an illogical point of view (as if one cannot derive pleasure from their submission).

However, I do enjoy orgasm control, and yes it's about control (and specifically, about control of something so very personal). That is not to be confused with orgasm denial, which is an entirely different issue (the absence of orgasms). Orgasm control does not imply the absence of orgasms, but control over the when, where, how, etc. that they are to be experienced.

The pleasure of that control also includes the gratification experienced with the "giving" of orgasms. Depending upon the level of control and individual capabilities, that may include orgasm on command (great for some semi-public play, and for sadists).

John

Nice post John....But come on....orgasm on command?

Whoever she was--she was faking it.

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 3

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 3:53:54 PM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

Actually it depends on what one means when the term "cum on command' is used. If it means, holding off the orgasm while being aroused until a command is issued allowing it to be released, that is something that i was trained to do to the point that unless i'm masturbating solely on my own (ie no instruction to masturbate) i can't cum without that command. If it means, no arousal one moment and orgasming the next, that would be far more rare, though i have met some who say they have done so through hypnotic suggestion. Have not experienced that, so i can't say one way or another.

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 4

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 3:53:59 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Nice post John....But come on....orgasm on command?

Whoever she was--she was faking it.

During sex I can be commanded to orgasm.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 12/19/2006 3:55:33 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 5

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 3:57:22 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

i can orgasm on command marie.....there is a secret word that will do it for me....but i dont tell no one...

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 6

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 3:57:44 PM

BDSM05478

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

on command is possible, like pavlovs dogs any response can be conditioned, not saying it is easy or even common, just possible. And she wasn't faking , you can't fake when your a squirter..... not to be too graphic.

edited to add ~ That is something I would love to be able to do btw! I could just imagine the reaction when I started laughing and crying at the same time for no apparent reason lol

< Message edited by BDSM05478 -- 12/19/2006 4:02:02 PM >

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 7

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 3:58:46 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Nice post John....But come on....orgasm on command?

Whoever she was--she was faking it.

Oh yea of little faith. :) I thought you might have caught a glimpse of that in Niagara Falls and at PEP Buffalo.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 8

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 3:59:47 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

i can orgasm on command marie.....there is a secret word that will do it for me....but i dont tell no one...

Just email it to me, Amy. I promise to use it very judiciously. :)

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 9

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 4:00:35 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

i can orgasm on command marie.....there is a secret word that will do it for me....but i dont tell no one...

Aw come on and share! Maybe it'll work on me too!

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 10

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 4:01:07 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Oh, forgot to mention that I know of someone who can orgasm to polysyballic words. I was able to lend a hand (as it were) at the Long Island Fetish Event (LIFE) a few years back. Some others here on this board may recall that as well.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 11

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 4:02:22 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Nice post John....But come on....orgasm on command?

Whoever she was--she was faking it.

Oh yea of little faith. :) I thought you might have caught a glimpse of that in Niagara Falls and at PEP Buffalo.

John

I musta been sleeping through it.

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 12

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 4:05:57 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSM05478

on command is possible, like pavlovs dogs any response can be conditioned, not saying it is easy or even common, just possible. And she wasn't faking , you can't fake when your a squirter..... not to be too graphic.

You too? *Grins* We have to lay out playmats and towels before doing anything. Such a pain...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BDSM05478)

Post #: 13

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 4:12:10 PM

moftop61

Posts: 11
Joined: 12/5/2006
Status: offline

i have been trained to cum on command sort of. i can hold back an orgasm until my Master says to cum. Sometimes i can't cum and He is usually okay with that. I find that by being denied pleasure it makes the pleasure so much more enjoyable when it cums.

m

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 14

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 4:18:24 PM

BDSM05478

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSM05478

on command is possible, like pavlovs dogs any response can be conditioned, not saying it is easy or even common, just possible. And she wasn't faking , you can't fake when your a squirter..... not to be too graphic.

You too? *Grins* We have to lay out playmats and towels before doing anything. Such a pain...

Hell I'm not worried about any of that stuff, I don't mind sleeping in the wet spots, actually like it nasty lil girl i am lol and this one time i did it from anal sex. now that was weird lol getting it in one hole and cumming out the other.... ok now maybe that was too graphic

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 15

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 4:39:02 PM

LaMspeach

Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline

What are your thoughts?

As Rover said it isn't about orgasm denial ... It is about something so personal, intimate and the ability to be able to give that to Master to the extent that i no long have any control over where when or how I orgasm.

Do you enjoy orgasm control and if so, why?

Yes i enjoy orgasm control. It gives me comfort knowing that no matter how far apart we are Master still controls an intimate of my life.

Have you been denied orgasms?

Since I no longer orgasm with out Master's command and trigger words and we are long distance i guess you can say i am denied orgasms. I physically cant orgasm with out his command.

What does it bring you?
It brings me comfort knowing Master is pleased and i can give him something so personal... not to mention awesome orgasms.

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 16

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 5:16:10 PM

MmakeMme

Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline

I ~lovvvvvvvvve~ orgasm denial. It's sooooooooo ... Dom. ~delicious shiver~ (And seriously, I love having to fracture my focus - my body says to do one thing, Sir says to do another, and I have to obey.)

Gawd, the thought just makes me wanna cum! (Somebody please stop me!)

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to LaMspeach)

Post #: 17

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 5:29:32 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I personally love orgasm denial. I love him letting it build and build. I also love the begging that I have to do along with it.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 18

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 6:17:15 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Editing and reposting something I posted on this same subject recently:

I used to feel guilty for having orgasms, until I met my Master. Now any "pleasure" I feel really belongs to him, not me. He has command and control of my body and its responses, so I can not feel guilty for what he does with it. He has trained my body to respond as he wishes, and it is out of my control completely.

He finds great pleasure in bringing me to such a state of lust whereby I turn into a needy, writhing, twisting, savage beast, wild with desire for him, begging for just a hint a relief because the pressure building inside me becomes almost unbearable. It is not pleasure I beg for, but to relieve the pressure cooker, else I go insane. I could not beg for pleasure; it would not be right.

It is having such power to affect me that brings him amusement and satisfaction. And when he finally gives the command to explode for him (and it is for him), he derives further satisfaction from watching his slut veer into another plane, convulsing, thrashing, and possessed by what he has implanted in me. This is not necessarily a pleasurable experience for me, as I am truly possessed and overcome by what is occuring, and it can last an exhaustingly long time...to the point of collapse.

But the result is a journey into the depths of my essence, and when he has stopped me (there is no stopping until he says so), I crumble to the floor, panting, gasping, and clinging desperately to him with need. He loves this - and it really is all about him.

I would like to add that cumming on command is possible, as is squirting/gushing on command. The mind can will anything, folks, it just takes a lot of work.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 19

RE: Orgasm denial - 12/19/2006 6:17:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I get nothing from denial either. If I do not feel comfortable orgasming- it's just not going to happen. You can play with me for hours and I won't feel anything but uncomfortable. And, after a few days, I'll have trouble sleeping, feel disoriented and disconnected, low energy and very unhappy.

It's funny how you never see doms who want to deny their slaves their time to pray, but so many want to deny the orgasm. For me, denying my orgasm would be like denying prayer is for religious people- denying my connection to existence and place of center.

I know lots of people feel more intense orgasms with denial, but it doesn't work for me.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_588912/mpage_2/key_orgasm%252Ccontrol/tm.htm#592158
orgasm on command?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_412753/mpage_1/key_cum%252Ccommand/tm.htm#412758
cum control

http://www.collarchat.com/m_313958/mpage_4/key_orgasm%252Ccommand/tm.htm#318568
cum on command

http://www.collarchat.com/m_400934/mpage_1/key_cum%252Ccommand/tm.htm#400996
orgasm on demand

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 20

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