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RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/25/2006 7:15:22 PM   
MzMia


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Status: offline 		When I am good, I am bad.
When I am bad, I am better.
My quote for 2007

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To Each His/Her Own
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"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

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RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/25/2006 9:41:05 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP ..IMO..it sometimes can come down to, they have a history, albeit a bad one, but a history nonetheless, and as with any relationship, they more than likely had good times as well. I also have to agree with the many on it also could be the "turbulence" was exhilerating,the bad girl syndrome,wanting what you cannot have,and unrequited love.....whatever the reason....this is not the kind of person you want to develop a relationship with....Tempting

(in reply to MzMia)
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RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/25/2006 11:48:17 PM   
SirKenin


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Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

It's more like: women who treat men like crap tend to do it AFTER they've found a man who's fallen for them.  Beforehand, they're little angels...


Man alive, never have truer words been spoken.  You fall for that sweet side, only to get exposed to the demon within after you're already sucked in.

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RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/26/2006 8:08:46 AM   
MzMia


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

It's more like: women who treat men like crap tend to do it AFTER they've found a man who's fallen for them.  Beforehand, they're little angels...


Man alive, never have truer words been spoken.  You fall for that sweet side, only to get exposed to the demon within after you're already sucked in.


She fooled you!
I have seen and heard this story a million times.
People can cover up their "real" identities a long time.
LOL

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/26/2006 8:38:57 AM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
You get what you are willing to accept. 


Like something i once read:  You get what you feel you deserve....and then you deserve what you get (and this was not just about partners but about many other things in life).
 
DG

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RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/26/2006 12:56:52 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
You get what you are willing to accept. 


Like something i once read:  You get what you feel you deserve....and then you deserve what you get (and this was not just about partners but about many other things in life).
 
DG


Nice quote, makes sense to me.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/26/2006 1:02:25 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
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From: Barrie, ON Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
You get what you are willing to accept. 


Like something i once read:  You get what you feel you deserve....and then you deserve what you get (and this was not just about partners but about many other things in life).
 
DG


Bullshit.  You get what you are conned into, then it is up to you to bail out.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/26/2006 1:32:42 PM   
NorthernGent


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
You get what you are willing to accept. 


Like something i once read:  You get what you feel you deserve....and then you deserve what you get (and this was not just about partners but about many other things in life).
 
DG


Bullshit.  You get what you are conned into, then it is up to you to bail out.


Grow a pair of bollocks then and know your own mind. Maybe then you won't get "conned".

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/26/2006 3:03:32 PM   
subfever


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
You get what you are willing to accept. 


Like something i once read:  You get what you feel you deserve....and then you deserve what you get (and this was not just about partners but about many other things in life).
 
DG


Nice quote, makes sense to me.


Yeah... it sort of explains Cosmic Karma, doesn't it?

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/26/2006 4:45:45 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
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From: Barrie, ON Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
You get what you are willing to accept. 


Like something i once read:  You get what you feel you deserve....and then you deserve what you get (and this was not just about partners but about many other things in life).
 
DG


Bullshit.  You get what you are conned into, then it is up to you to bail out.


Grow a pair of bollocks then and know your own mind. Maybe then you won't get "conned".


And you have never been conned tough guy?  If you say no, I will say you are full of shit.  We all get conned.  Granted, it is hard to con a con, is it not?

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/26/2006 6:08:11 PM   
fergus


Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I seem to keep running into men that only fall for women who treat them like crap. Here are 2 examples.
 
1. My first BDSM partner had no feelings for me after 8 months and never took me on a date. This same guy complained because a woman he was trying to date stood him up 3 times. The only serious relationship he ever had (which lasted several years), he admitted he was the one who put out effort in the relationship. She dumped him because she refused to wait till he got out of college to get married. A year later, she married another guy. To this day, he still loves her. 

2. A guy I know was divorced approximately 5 years ago. His wife left him for another man. They had a son together. When she left him, she refused to let him see or have any contact with his son. He didn't even know where his son was and didn't have the money to fight her. All of a sudden (years later) she decided to call him and  tell him she wanted him back. She also told him she had no place to live. I suggested he provide a home for his son and tell her to get lost. When I asked him how he could ever forgive her for forcing him to miss the last 5 years of his 8 year old son's life, he said he has a soft heart.

Both of these guys told me I was so good to them, but ended up having stronger feelings for women who treated them like shit. Why are men like this or is it just me? Has anyone else noticed this pattern with men?


Please, I mean this with love and caring ...

This has less to do with "men" and more to do with the type of men that attract and/or are attracted to.  Often we are attracted to exactly the wrong feelings and this can be for a WHOLE HOST of psychological reasons both past and present.

For instance ... I tend to have a 'savior complex' so I am naturally attracted to women with problems that I can fix or save them from ;) ..... this, of course, is a load of crap and merely sets up a relationship dynamic that is doomed to fail.

Well, I suggest you have a look at the common trait of the men you attract, are attracted to, have dated, have had feelings for, and look for the commonalities - both good and bad.

If you see the pattern, keep sharp for it.  For me, I know that when my heart goes 'pitter pat' the girl is probably crazy.  So, I must run like hell or repeat the same relationship dynamic over and over again.

As for the 'bad boy' thing .... the menfolk who suffere from the same dynamic I do tell me that 'crazy is hot!' ... the women I am friends with who love that bad boy thing tell me that nothing gets them going more than a guy wearing 'dept. of corrections orange'.  Well, I am now at the point where I can see a 'crazy girl' coming a mile off and how to avoid that.

lol, if anyone has advice on how to be attracted to HEALTHY people, I am all ears!

fergus

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/26/2006 7:23:27 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
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Status: offline 		That must be my problem then. I'm too healthy lol.

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RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/26/2006 8:54:47 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		Fergus, that was a really good post.  It certainly makes Me think.

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Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/27/2006 4:36:37 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		i don't but a lot of importance on the complaints about past relationships.  If the relationship was perfect the parties would still be together.  While there are exceptions, every ex-wife/girlfriend/sub is a bitch and every ex-husband/boyfriend/Dom is a bastard and along comes a litany of sins committed.  It's a way to avoid looking inward that the failure may lie within.  Anger is always an easier emotion to deal with than sadness.  i would have to wonder why a man (or woman) continuously finds themselves with these horrible people when the one common denominator is them?  Granted there are people who thrive on adversity but to say men only fall for women who treat them badly is a conclusion based on only half the data.  It would be interesting to hear how the women felt about the relationship... my guess is she is crying to her friends about how badly he treated her. 

i absolutely love the quote about getting what you feel you deserve. 


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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/27/2006 4:49:11 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
You get what you are willing to accept. 


Like something i once read:  You get what you feel you deserve....and then you deserve what you get (and this was not just about partners but about many other things in life).
 
DG


Bullshit.  You get what you are conned into, then it is up to you to bail out.


Grow a pair of bollocks then and know your own mind. Maybe then you won't get "conned".


And you have never been conned tough guy?  If you say no, I will say you are full of shit.  We all get conned.  Granted, it is hard to con a con, is it not?


Self-pity is not attractive.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/27/2006 4:50:43 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

Yeah... it sort of explains Cosmic Karma, doesn't it?



subfever, excuse my ignorance but I haven't the first clue what Cosmic Karma is.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/27/2006 5:13:44 AM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

Self-pity is not attractive.


And if I ever get to the point where I feel like dating someone like you I will bear in mind what you said.

I do not pity Myself.  Every relationship I have ever had I played My part just like they did.  It is just that your statement is a load of "bullocks" and anyone that is in agreement with it has no clue what they are talking about or are in denial.  That is all. 

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/27/2006 8:58:51 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

The really funny thing is, I bought a dating book called "The Rules" that gave step by step instructions on how to play hard to get. When I mentioned the concept on an old thread I posted, I was criticized for even considering trying it.


I have read the The Rules, and they are not about "playing hard to get". They are about being hard to get. They are about respecting yourself, living your life, and not compromising what you want. There were parts I thought were somewhat dishonest, I do not do those behaviors. There is something to be said for not always being "on call" for a date in the beginning, or being overly eager.... although when you really like someone, it is harder.



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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

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RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/27/2006 10:57:00 AM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

Nice quote, makes sense to me.


Thanks NG.  When i wrote my last profile, i kept this in mind.  In addition to what i want and need in my life, i really did have to think about what i felt i deserved.  Sometimes, feeling what you deserve is a very subconscious decision (ie, people with low self esteem getting involved with an abusive partner....they may not sit there and say 'well this is what i deserve because i am a nothing anyway' but it is somewhere buried in the psyche).
 
i just think that if people were more aware of what they felt they deserved, they might make more positive choices.  Now can i still be conned? (as someone else here suggested).  Well sure...because others can still be dishonest and deceitful.  i have no control over that.  But i can still do the best i can on my end.....and that is to seek out the best that i can because that is what i feel i deserve. 
 
DG

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Why do men only fall for women that treat them like... - 12/27/2006 11:15:03 AM   
MistressStchWich


Posts: 74
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		 
"It's more like: women who treat men like crap tend to do it AFTER they've found a man who's fallen for them.  Beforehand, they're little angels..." Lordandmaster


I find that your comment has been absolutley true of every male I have ever known as a friend, sibling, or partner. Always Mr. Wonderful, the perfect guy- very attentive and solicitous of her time and attention at first, for say about 6 months to a year; then they began to treat her like crap- the male romance version of bait and switch; but Women usually do it from the get go and are not ordinarilly very subtle or sneaky about it.

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