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RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 2:37:28 PM   
SmokingGun82


Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		I have to agree that it's a little harsh to judge the dom without hearing anything more. That said, I also think it's very adorable how people act like money means nothing. There's a price for everybody and everything, it's only a matter of how high it is.

With that out of the way, I can't imagine letting money be the only factor in my choice of partners/positioning. However, if there are two people who I'm equally compatible with, they're equally attractive, equally intelligent, etcetera but one is a millionaire and one is seriously in debt...

Just a scenario where I would consider money. For the most part, it doesn't enter the equation.


_____________________________

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 2:38:25 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'm not getting a distinction in this thrad over whether people feel it's wrong/disgusting to include material possessions as a factor in the decision to make them their property, or whether they feel it's wrong/disgusting to make it the primary motivation to owning someone?

I mean, do we think it's wrong when a man chooses a slave and expects her to be his sole source of sexual interaction?

Do we think it's wrong when a woman chooses a slave solely to clean their house on a regular basis with no sexual interaction? 

All slaves provide- the question is WHAT do they provide and how much use/value/worth is it to their owner?  As long as everyone is in agreement with the situation, why is it suddenly a problem when the slave becomes the sole source of financial security, but not when the slave is the only source of sexual security?


The problem that I see in the thread is that it took a stupid to turn with the "turn over your all your assets to a new dom."  Isn't it just common sense that it's stupid?  In virtually every state, whatever a man and a woman bring into a marriage is that person's separate property.  When property is divided at the time of divorce, all that, in addition to what was gain during the marriage, is taken into account. 

I don't mean to derail, but this if "give me all your belongings" stuff looks appealing to someone who is doing the giving, that person is plagued by a fantasy that is veering off a cliff.  It's cult mentality (really, never smart).

"Sexual security."  I don't know what that that would be.

MaryT

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 2:42:23 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i am sure i am just reiterating what others have said.....it does not sound like you lost anything, but gain a lot by being released (although i also know that it does not feel that way to you, yet).  ~Hug~ it really does get better.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 2:57:56 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: queensweetangel

I'm not sure that I'm posting this in the right place but I wanted to know the opinion of both Dom/Master and sub/slave.
 
Question to the Doms/Masters: If you added an additional sub/slave who was much wealthier, would you allow her to become the alpha for that simple fact?
 
Queston to the sub/slave: If your Dom/Master added an additional sub/slave and she was wealthy how would you feel if he let her become the alpha over you because of that simple fact?
 
I have had this experience and I felt it to be weak on his part as a Dom/Master. As a result of his decision I was released to make sure she was happy and he was able to keep her for her money.
 
Your opinion and advice is greatly appreciated.


Once he's spent all her money, she'll be expendable.  I had a friend who married her Dom.. who was 20 years her junior. She took great pride in  letting people know how money she had.  Within weeks, he was on her checking account.  After a few failed BDSM ventures.. the money ran out.. And he started getting more "busy" with whatever he was involved in.. she spent more and more time alone in the house.
 
In either case,  the Dom that has his hand in the sub's pocket.. is just as bad as the sub who pays to get the status she wants.  It's a loose-loose.

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(in reply to queensweetangel)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 3:01:55 PM   
unsung


Posts: 183
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline 		LuckyAlbatross, I think it disgusting because I have been there and done that and for the life of me would not do it again.  To be released into the world with nothing because it has been given all away to another is profoundly stupid in my experienced opinion.  One expresses a concern of care for another, but their actions become nothing more than lip service and the hording of material wealth then scotty I believe we have a problem.

Therefore in my experience in which I have more than one to chalk this wonderful life up to, it is disgusting that the virtues of peoples wealth is determined on the monetary value of their said bank account.  In addition, I know several handful of wealthy people whose personalities don't win any roses from me.  And people that stir their status from the wealth of others in order to lift their own status are what how we we say it, 'freeloaders'.

Smokingun, I wonder just how much longetivity and servitude a person can really receive when  a submissive entering a relationshiop under better status than said Dom can have,  perhaps only as long til she recognizes her wealth is dwindling to mere pittens.  Wealthy people don't get wealthy by giving their money away, not until they have a fair amount beyond even their own needs exceed (edit - and that more than most times is givin away to charitable organizations for tax relief).

< Message edited by unsung -- 12/26/2006 3:10:56 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 3:04:38 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Seems like you learned a good lesson about what this dominant is about. Good thing to get earlier than later.
I would question whether money was the sole motivator for taking this girl on or replacing you, in theory there would be other appealing aspects.
This week I've been able to get a view behind the looking glass and have been staying in a multi-million dollar home in one of the most prestegious neighborhoods. I've learned that rich people leave crumbs on the counters and forget to take the trash to the curb too. That in many cases maids can cause lazyness in picking up after yourself and some of the richest people I know are some of the most unhappy. Money buys a lot of things but happiness isn't always one of them. My grandmother used to say, there's only so much money a person actually needs, the rest is just for showing off. I'm starting to realize she's right.

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RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 3:14:01 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: unsung

LuckyAlbatross, I think it disgusting because I have been there and done that and for the life of me would not do it again.  To be released into the world with nothing because it has been given all away to another is profoundly stupid in my experienced opinion.  One expresses a concern of care for another, but their actions become nothing more than lip service and the hording of material wealth then scotty I believe we have a problem.


I think anyone asking any such a thing should be given a boot in the butt and sent on his (or her) merry way.

I understand (from sociology's standpoint) how monetary value works in ordinary relationships - it's the same as asethetic value or societal standing.  You have so much - I have so much, we add up all the points and if we think we're even - it's a match! 

I really don't see how it works in a D/s though.  Wouldn't it mess it up?  If all one wants is to be served and all the other one wants is to serve ... why is it even an issue?

MaryT

< Message edited by MaryT -- 12/26/2006 3:16:36 PM >

(in reply to unsung)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 3:21:51 PM   
CaveatViewAskew


Posts: 18
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline 		   you mention wealth has the upperhand in the decision He made to make the other girl the alpha of His House. I don't disallow that, but have to wonder what affect your only tolerating spankin's might have had in His decision. Everyone knows that the Warmin' of the Bunns is a ritual that must find its own level, and I'm one of those that prefers to set differin' levels for different folks so, I could probably accept your lack of service in that area as long as you made it up in another, perhaps dos mas as much would be more appropiate since you stated that you "like" housework, sit-coms, and TV sports better than you like spankin'.
  I'm confuzzled enough to give an opinion, but, I'll reserve it since, I know very little about your case, but have seen others of the like.
Gentry
quote:

ORIGINAL: queensweetangel

I'm not sure that I'm posting this in the right place but I wanted to know the opinion of both Dom/Master and sub/slave.
 
Question to the Doms/Masters: If you added an additional sub/slave who was much wealthier, would you allow her to become the alpha for that simple fact?
 
Queston to the sub/slave: If your Dom/Master added an additional sub/slave and she was wealthy how would you feel if he let her become the alpha over you because of that simple fact?
 
I have had this experience and I felt it to be weak on his part as a Dom/Master. As a result of his decision I was released to make sure she was happy and he was able to keep her for her money.
 
Your opinion and advice is greatly appreciated.

(in reply to queensweetangel)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 3:26:34 PM   
unsung


Posts: 183
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline 		MaryT, I personally don't see how it works anywhere, it seems someone always has the upper hand.  In one of my said  situations it was trust granted to him and his use of disception that fooled me into this trust.  One year to the date later, and over 17 thousand in his bank account, I walked away with ditto looking for ways to feed my 2 young children.  So crap like this does happen hence imeo, it is not wise (slave, submissive, vanilla or otherwise). 

Being married where there is some legal recourse however will provide more protection, but until the day the M/s or D/s relationships are recognized as legally binding, I question any form of this type of exchange.  Hence disgusted at such consideration.

Before anyone slams me, yes I know it was not a wise decision on my part what I did, so please refrain from such slam if you would please.  I have recouped from this which took a grand 12 years to do.

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 3:31:07 PM   
DeepWaters


Posts: 118
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline 		Knowing Ill get flamed for this but not really caring :-p

Is control of finances important?, and is it important that the slave bring substantial wealth or a high salary to the table---yes on both accounts...value = utility and a master can do more with substantial assets at his disposal--Ill second lucky albatross.

however, having had a sub who fell into that catagory, I can tell you that catering to a submissive who is fithy rich and looney is a lot of work... more than her money was worth...in an ideal situation she would have handed over the control of her finances, and alpha sub status would have been based on degree of service not buying an indulgence...(to protect her self she could have always made the power of attorney conditional on her staying with him)

but we don't live in an ideal world, we live in one where the 4% of the population who happen to be sociopaths dictate the social mores of our times...me me me and more more more is the anthem...Your Dom made a decision about what he thought was best for him--and Im assuming you knew what kind of man he was to start with...someone who whould use and discard others for his own benefit.



< Message edited by DeepWaters -- 12/26/2006 3:33:28 PM >

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 3:31:50 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: queensweetangel
Question to the Doms/Masters: If you added an additional sub/slave who was much wealthier, would you allow her to become the alpha for that simple fact?


Personally? No. There would have to be other reasons as to why I'd make them alpha.

But, what if in someone's household the main kink was financial servitude. Should not the wealthiest be alpha? Same thing with a stable/harem...should not the best and most talented be the alpha? It's all going to matter according to the household and the Master.

Master Fire


_____________________________

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(in reply to queensweetangel)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 3:43:16 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: queensweetangel
Queston to the sub/slave: If your Dom/Master added an additional sub/slave and she was wealthy how would you feel if he let her become the alpha over you because of that simple fact?

If that were the only reason, and I knew it because he outwardly said it was the only reason and not because I assumed it was...then I would think my Master had changed his value system.  It is within his right to prioritize his slaves however he wants to and he certainly owes me no explanation of why (although knowing him he would probably tell me).  But what he values in a slave is the degree of her submission and obedience far above anything else.  And he has no need for anyone else's money, as he makes enough on his own.  So if this was the only reason, as your post implies, I would worry that he has changed into someone I no longer know very well.
 
quote:


I have had this experience and I felt it to be weak on his part as a Dom/Master. As a result of his decision I was released to make sure she was happy and he was able to keep her for her money.

Has this been confirmed, or are you assuming that is the sole reason you were released?  Did you go along with his decision agreeably and did all you could to welcome her and to make the adjustments necessary?  Or did you combat him tooth and nail and raise issues about it.  Sometimes it's the way I respond to my Master's decisions which causes the problems; not the decision itself.  I'm not saying this is the case for you, but that may have been a contributing factor.

Your OP makes it sound like he brought someone in and said "Okay, she has more money and I'm done with you now."  I think there may have been more to it than that, no?

(in reply to queensweetangel)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 3:49:37 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		This thread is surely illuminating because so much of what is posted has nothing to do with the OP.  It is another one of those "Rorshack" threads that shows you more of what's going on (and boy is a lot going on!) with people who address the subject of money in a D/s relationship.

Money = power.  Always has, and always will.  In the world of WIIWD, interestingly, money has LESS importance than in other venues (think Donald Trump -- what would the reception be to "Master Trump" in most B/D/S/M circles?  I suggest he'd be laughed out of the dungeon, and should be).  But you can't deny the importance of money in any human relationship, including B/D/S/M.  In my experience, those who say "love, service, honor" but never filthy lucre as a criteria usually have no wealth, regardless of the other attributes.  If you amass some wealth you look at this very differently.

To the OP:  I'm suspicious of first time posters with no history and no profile to speak of who posit a question that surely reads like an agenda.  You tell us the sole reason this "master" has replaced you with another is her wealth.  That is sad, if it is correct.  My life experience tells me people rarely do things for just one reason, however.  But I wonder if your tone indicates that perhaps there are other reasons you might have been "replaced" -- whinyness and an unwillingness to accept his authority come to mind.

And finally, can a Dom/Master be bought?  Of course.  The coin of the realm might not be cash, however.  And like buying anything else, remember that they come in a variety of styles with a variety of price tags, and that you usually (but not always) get what you pay for.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 3:54:21 PM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'm not getting a distinction in this thrad over whether people feel it's wrong/disgusting to include material possessions as a factor in the decision to make them their property, or whether they feel it's wrong/disgusting to make it the primary motivation to owning someone?

I mean, do we think it's wrong when a man chooses a slave and expects her to be his sole source of sexual interaction?

Do we think it's wrong when a woman chooses a slave solely to clean their house on a regular basis with no sexual interaction? 

All slaves provide- the question is WHAT do they provide and how much use/value/worth is it to their owner?  As long as everyone is in agreement with the situation, why is it suddenly a problem when the slave becomes the sole source of financial security, but not when the slave is the only source of sexual security?


The problem that I see in the thread is that it took a stupid to turn with the "turn over your all your assets to a new dom."  Isn't it just common sense that it's stupid?  In virtually every state, whatever a man and a woman bring into a marriage is that person's separate property.  When property is divided at the time of divorce, all that, in addition to what was gain during the marriage, is taken into account. 

I don't mean to derail, but this if "give me all your belongings" stuff looks appealing to someone who is doing the giving, that person is plagued by a fantasy that is veering off a cliff.  It's cult mentality (really, never smart).

"Sexual security."  I don't know what that that would be.

MaryT



I for one wouldn't be handing over my material wealth to a Dom\Master, as i have an unmentionable to take care of and whos future i have to ensure.

The sad reality is though, that there are many out there both Dom and sub who think that being a sub\slave means giving over\up everything. And that includes material wealth.


To the OP, it must have been very hard for you going thru that scenario,  regardless of weather money was the deciding factor or not.  So good luck in your search for a new Dom


twistedwillow
edited cause i forgot to sign myself, i'd forget my own head somedays if it wasnt semi screwed on.

< Message edited by twistedwillow -- 12/26/2006 3:57:05 PM >

_____________________________

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Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.



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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 4:10:03 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956
Money = power.  Always has, and always will.  In the world of WIIWD, interestingly, money has LESS importance than in other venues (think Donald Trump -- what would the reception be to "Master Trump" in most B/D/S/M circles?  I suggest he'd be laughed out of the dungeon, and should be).  But you can't deny the importance of money in any human relationship, including B/D/S/M.  In my experience, those who say "love, service, honor" but never filthy lucre as a criteria usually have no wealth, regardless of the other attributes.  If you amass some wealth you look at this very differently.


Well, I don't about the idea that how much you have equates with how much you are willing to take from another.
- Is it directly proportional in your mind?

I will say that "love, service, honor" means one thing.  "'Till death do us part" means another.  I'm not interested in the latter and neither are my assets.  I do feel compelled to warn  people (who should probably know better) that anyone who wants you to sign your life away is not dealing in your best interests - and you are in need of intense counseling if you are seriously considering such an arrangement (since you aren't dealing in your best interests either).

MaryT, a smart submissive

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 4:25:07 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT
I do feel compelled to warn  people (who should probably know better) that anyone who wants you to sign your life away is not dealing in your best interests - and you are in need of intense counseling if you are seriously considering such an arrangement (since you aren't dealing in your best interests either).


Anyone?  I would suggest there are some rather intelligent M/s couples on these very boards who prove otherwise.  Your use of absolutes here devalues your statement.  While in many cases what you said about best interests may be true, I would not presume to know the intention of every dominant there is who puts forth such a requirement.  Nor would I presume to know what level of counseling, if any, someone else needs.

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 4:58:26 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT
I do feel compelled to warn  people (who should probably know better) that anyone who wants you to sign your life away is not dealing in your best interests - and you are in need of intense counseling if you are seriously considering such an arrangement (since you aren't dealing in your best interests either).


Anyone?  I would suggest there are some rather intelligent M/s couples on these very boards who prove otherwise. 


I really don't care what you do.  I really do care that real people could lose big time buying into your bull.  I don't give a donkey's butt what anyone's intention may be.  The road to hell is paved with good ones, or so I hear.  It doesn't matter since anyone who wants you to sign your life away is not dealing in your best interests.  That is the really important part, and I thank you for putting it in bold and italics.

MaryT

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 5:05:10 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I think the matter at hand is simply what value do you put on your sub? Property or person...meaningful relationship or purely ownership?

We attract what we put out....Intelligence begets intelligence...etc. Can someone who is "whole" be complimented by someone who's only attributes  are  their orifices or monetary worth?  The question is are you a user? I can see the power of controlling a person even in their financial aspects...but when all is said and done and you look yourself in the mirror...What are you? Has life dealt you such a fucked up hand that you can't stand on your own two legs?  Doesn't personally sound like much of a dom/domme trait to me! Smacks of being rather pathetic!

Just a thought...now go about your business.

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 5:16:56 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I think the matter at hand is simply what value do you put on your sub?


Sheesh.  I feel like I'm drowning in idiots!  The matter at hand is what value a submissive puts on her/himself.

Are there any grownups here?

MaryT

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 5:19:41 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		Please do not call me an idiot.  Thank you.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 40
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