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RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 9:03:21 PM   
queensweetangel


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/7/2006
Status: offline 		But he did, in fact, let her top from the bottom because of her wealth. He isn't an investor.

No, money doesn't always mean power BUT the fact remains that he's not the same man I used to know and love. She has forced him to give up everything he's ever dreamed of having in life to be with her for the sole purpose of future financial security. She is the sole reason he released me. She told him that if he didn't let me go that she would leave and take all of her money with her.


(in reply to jdtallfem)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 9:26:08 PM   
queensweetangel


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/7/2006
Status: offline 		Be suspicious all you want. I've been on the site several months and this has been on my mind the entire time. I was simply looking for advice and was my thinking incorrect.

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 9:44:31 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		An FR, because again, directed to several, and not any one post:

First, OP, I wish you well in your decision.  Clearly whatever reasons he had for "demoting" you were unacceptable to you, and you made the difficult but realistic choice to leave.  Good luck.

Mary T -- I don't think I said anything like "how much you have determines how much you take"? but that is so vague I don't really know what you are asking.  Clarify, please?

And Mary, you've got yourself into some sort of flamewar here, and while I enjoy sitting back and watching and roasting chestnuts as much as the next evil Dom, let me see if I can parse this.  You are saying that it is a bad idea for a submissive to give up her financial well-being to her chosen Top/Dom/Master/Mistress.  Others are saying (1) it happens all the time and (2) who are you to say it is a bad idea?  Lets accept that you believe it is a bad idea, for whatever reasons you hold.  At the same time the "opposition" is saying that bad or good, it is their choice to do it as part of their TPE?  And having chosen to do it, leave them alone?  There's nothing wrong with being judgemental.  And you should not be attacked for it, so long as you can say (and I think you did say) "I think its crazy and not in a good way" and leave it at that.

Lady E -- Good luck.  Acheiving something in the business world is meaningful.  I worked for a company where the CEO, who was worth millions, and made millions more (only a bit of which trickled down to little ole me!) used to say "money isn't everything, but its the way we keep score, and so having more is better than having less".  I can think of situations where that isn't true, but in the general world of making and having, I think it is.  But although you say you are on the lookout, beware, because as the old line goes "money changes everything".  And it does.  And the thing it changes most are personal relationships.  I've seen it take ordinary people and destroy any good impulse they had, and conversely, in a few wonderful cases, I've seen money change people for the good.  There will be sycophants of every stripe around you, Lady E.  Keep yourself grounded, and keep watch.

And finally, for all of those who boldly claim they aren't for sale (Lady E, you too) -- be careful.  You might be tempting fate to find your price, and the world, through literature, song, art and history tells you that every person has a price, and hubris is daring someone or something to find it for you.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to queensweetangel)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 10:02:07 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
My dominant, while he does not desire to have another girl, who never pick alpha by money. I doubt he would have an alpha in that situation but it certainly wouldn't be by money if he did. Now, while I'm not exactly inclined to be in a multi-submissive relationship, if I were in one and I was demoted from alpha simply because the other girl had more money? He wouldn't need to release me. I would simply leave because clearly he values money more then my submission and service.


Are we in complete agreement then?

MaryT



I wouldn't mind putting my money in a household account that he was in charge of (in the future, when we are older and in more of a lifetime commitment). I am not good with money and he is. As long as I had enough tucked away somewhere for emergencies, I really don't care. However, that would be for practical purposes. If I ever get the idea that he is only with me for my money, I'm gone. So if you agree with that when we are.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 10:04:49 PM   
queensweetangel


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/7/2006
Status: offline 		My loyalty, obedience, trust and love to him was never in question by either one of us. I wasn't ever disrepectful to him. I was a little playful at times but when he had enough playfulness all he had to do was get that tone of voice with me or just look at me. I was back in line in a heart beat.

I did give him everything I had and everything I was to him. He wanted for nothing from me, well, except for all the money he could ever want obviously. I work hard for what I have and I'm not a millionairess.

He and I discussed branding, which I wasn't crazy about at first but the more I read about it the more I wanted to wear the mark of the man that I loved and loved me. Like I stated before, now that he's with her solely, he's not the same man I fell in love with.

I'm not so trusting of Dom/Master anymore because of what has occurred. I know that Doms/Masters expect to have that trust given immediately but just as a Dom/Master doesn't give to me trust immediately I don't return it either.

With the responses I have received it is very apparent to me what the general idea is and that's what I expected.

My toleratin a spankin has nothin to do with my loyalty, trust, obedience and love to him.

My lack of a profile has nothing to do with anything. It is my profile and I will do as I please. Don't expect me to bow to you just because you call yourself a Dom/Master. You have to earn that respect. Prove to me you are the person you profess to be and then I'll think about it. 

I've actually made a lot of friends because of the lack of a profile. They actually email me to find out more about me not just what I look like or how much money I don't have.

Thanks to everybody who responded to the OP.

Special thanks to those that ASSUMED I was the one who did wrong. It was not my decision he let her top from the bottom solely on the basis of her money.

(in reply to queensweetangel)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 10:05:09 PM   
akbarbarian


Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
He wouldn't need to release me. I would simply leave because clearly he values money more then my submission and service.

This illustrates my view exactly.  Whether the sub leaves, or is dismissed, what is clear is that the Dom values money more than he values D/s.  To me this leaves one of several possibilities.
1)  D/s is optional for this Dom, and somthing he likes but can live without or he loses interest in
2)  He hasn't realized what is most important to him, and after losing the D/s will regret what he's done someday.

I believe it's the most dangerous thing to become involved as a D/s manditory person with a D/s optional person.  People need to identify this at the outset before becoming involved.  The hurt can come from either side if this rule is disregarded.  For those who really know themselves, and D/s is manditory, I don't believe a non D/s carrot like this would ever have this effect.  It's like trying to buy someone's air they breath from them.  There is simply no price tag on that, it can't be bought except from a fool who will be gasping later.

< Message edited by akbarbarian -- 12/26/2006 10:09:43 PM >

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/26/2006 10:43:52 PM   
leatherorlace


Posts: 215
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline 		I seemed to have noted a couple-three over the past seasons, but, I believe that they ran screaming into the night to escape these interminiable debates over the genuiness, the proper conduct, the proper preotocls, the proper tenets, the rules of debate need not apply, just some senseless PC bovine feces covered in arguement.
  Myself, I have no intention of supporting the extended leisure hours of a slave; neither do I expect them to maintain the comfort levels that, I've obtained, but, I certainly do demand that they make contributions to the well being of My House and its membership.
  The manners are myraid, the needs are myraid, the monies or services are varied, and for those that aren't independent wealthy or own prosperous portifolios, I offer training in the cabin industries of the House to earn income until they're able to enter the public workforce if they so choose. Yes, there are some that, I would direct to public employment if those earnings were appreciably higherthan the other options, and yes, I would insist that they remain at the drabbery as long as they have responsibilities and are able to work and meet them.
  So many are lost in the fantasy of instant knighthood, the realms of saintly men, women that are true in word and deed, ever lasting slavery at the foot of your master's chair, no vanilla worries, no reality of car notes, insurance payments, dental demons repeatedly raping your pockets, the repeated lateness of the lease payment, the need to feed on something more substantial than slave love and the fantasys that dissipate with the morning breeze chilling your feet as you hurry to dress for,,,  dayum, I do go on so. lol
Gentry
  
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I think the matter at hand is simply what value do you put on your sub?


Sheesh.  I feel like I'm drowning in idiots!  The matter at hand is what value a submissive puts on her/himself.

Are there any grownups here?

MaryT


(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/27/2006 3:20:52 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Even as I'm not particularly materialistic, though I definitely care about money now more than in my twenties, the answer I believe is yes.  I believe everyone has a price.    I don't imagine I would ever take on someone I couldn't stand simply because he had money, but what if the money was enough to solve a small country's problems?   
I can't say I'm impressed by your master's integrity, but as I don't know his story, I can't call him a cheap sleeze either.   If he's unable to provide the basics for himself, and she does for him, than who am I to judge?   
In any event, you need to move on and find someone more solid on values and less into material, in my opinion.   Good luck,   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to queensweetangel)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/27/2006 5:22:17 AM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956
And Mary, you've got yourself into some sort of flamewar here, and while I enjoy sitting back and watching and roasting chestnuts as much as the next evil Dom, let me see if I can parse this.


Evil subs enjoy flamewars too. 

quote:

You are saying that it is a bad idea for a submissive to give up her financial well-being to her chosen Top/Dom/Master/Mistress.  Others are saying (1) it happens all the time and (2) who are you to say it is a bad idea? 


One who volunteers for the homeless shelter and various outreach programs - one who knows full well what happens when fantasy goes bad.  What I'm seeing is not people discussing how this is done all the time.  I'm seeing a lot of fantasy perpetuated, and more and more I'm coming to realize that the perpetuation of fantasy makes up the majority activity on this site.  Then I'm also seeing "unsung" who gives us a first-hand account of the real time consequences of trying to live a fantasy.

quote:

Lets accept that you believe it is a bad idea, for whatever reasons you hold. 


Poverty, homelessness, etc., especially given the seemingly short life of TPEs.

quote:

At the same time the "opposition" is saying that bad or good, it is their choice to do it as part of their TPE?  And having chosen to do it, leave them alone?


Well, if those same people posted they use meth as part of their TPE, I would still feel compelled to repeat over and over again what a really bad idea it is to do that.  Not to change their opinions, mind you.  I trust that reality will accomplish that in due time.  I am trying to rush reality towards others who haven't yet given everything they own to pursue a fantasy.

quote:

There's nothing wrong with being judgemental.  And you should not be attacked for it, so long as you can say (and I think you did say) "I think its crazy and not in a good way" and leave it at that.


I don't mind being attacked for it.  I believe deeply in what I am saying and my motivations for saying it.  I do appreciate your concern though.

MaryT

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/27/2006 5:36:45 AM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leatherorlace

  Myself, I have no intention of supporting the extended leisure hours of a slave; neither do I expect them to maintain the comfort levels that, I've obtained, but, I certainly do demand that they make contributions to the well being of My House and its membership.


There is nothing wrong with investing in the support of a common household.  That's healthy and quite different from "Your body, soul and all your belongings are required to enter this relationship."

MaryT 

(in reply to leatherorlace)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/27/2006 5:48:38 AM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: queensweetangel

Question to the Doms/Masters: If you added an additional sub/slave who was much wealthier, would you allow her to become the alpha for that simple fact?


No.
 
That would be rather poor leadership (and, dominance of another is in part a characteristic of leadership).
 
Influence of decisions by issues not involved in the ability of the person is always an incorrect choice.
 
That does not mean it would not work - it just means that the initial choice is flawed (but, potentially recoverable depending on the traits of the people involved)
 
~J

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to queensweetangel)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/27/2006 11:27:50 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956
Others are saying (1) it happens all the time and (2) who are you to say it is a bad idea?  Lets accept that you believe it is a bad idea, for whatever reasons you hold.  At the same time the "opposition" is saying that bad or good, it is their choice to do it as part of their TPE?  And having chosen to do it, leave them alone?  There's nothing wrong with being judgemental.  And you should not be attacked for it, so long as you can say (and I think you did say) "I think its crazy and not in a good way" and leave it at that.


Emperor,

To clarify the point, I don't think anyone here said it happens all the time.  I merely said that sometimes it happens and it isn't always a bad idea. Personally I think she stands for a very good cause because in many cases, it is a bad idea.  My challenge to her was her use of absolutes - that according to her, there is not one exception on this entire planet where this working out well for others.  How logical a view is that?  Many here are fully open to the fact that people get hurt from such an act.  She is not open to the fact that there may be people who do not.  I did not see anyone attack her, particularly for her idea.  If she caught any flak it was for the name calling and rudeness, which whatever ones cause is, is not always the best approach to make ones appeal.

Edited to correct my dyslexic spelling error.

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 12/27/2006 11:43:39 AM >

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/27/2006 5:52:12 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

Also, can they be rented? 

MaryT



(I know I'm available for the right price)

_____________________________

Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/27/2006 7:53:32 PM   
MasDom


Posts: 375
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		Sadly we must remember a few things.
Although we'd all love to keep
playing out this life choice of ours.

Their will still be bills to pay.
Stomachs to feed ,and needs to fulfill.

These responsibilities still of course come first.
if not just a Dominants, then his households.

I,m not saying its ever a reason to leave some one.
Just an annoyance we must face together.

I often feel lost in it all.
My choice that of my heart.

Knowing i,m something more inside
  then just a simple lustful need.

Seeing the troubles of bringing
more people into my life.
Some times ,yes with not a penny to their name.
  At other times it was me the same.

This is real life.

Love is either strong enough, or its not.

Everything else comes as just the means to an end.






< Message edited by MasDom -- 12/27/2006 7:57:55 PM >

(in reply to LTRsubNW)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/27/2006 10:08:35 PM   
akbarbarian


Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline 		My ex wife and I did everything you could reccomend against for the sake of having financial vulnerability, you name it.  She wasn't on my bank accounts, she didn't have a driver's license nor did I let her get one.  She wasn't allowed any money, any rights, and so on.  I did have absolute power in a sense.  And what did I do with that power, kick her out on the street with no means to support herself when we split up?  Hardly.  While we were together I did have her work part time jobs though I collected the checks.  I was also putting her through college seeking a degree, which she started after we were together for a couple of years.  When we did seperate, I paid her bills until she got on her feet with a job where she moved to.  I am the exception however, and this is really about power and those who abuse it.  I had real power.  Money, and she didn't.  Even in this world of consentual slavery, power is generally only a fantasy of emotional attachment and trained habits and respect for the owner.  At MaryT points out, the dangers are great if you turn power over to someone who abuses it.  However, if you take care in who you wind up with and turn that power over to, power doesn't corrupt us all.  Some of us it just really makes us happy and turned on  

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to MasDom)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/28/2006 7:39:54 AM   
xonemasterx


Posts: 59
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Boston, Massachusetts, USA
Status: offline 		I'll answer your question if you let me do ...... to you.

The element of power exchange enters here.  For some, money equals power and a measure of self worth.

I prefer self satisfaction and achieving shared goals over financial gains.  Money is nice but not everything.

(in reply to akbarbarian)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/28/2006 9:24:12 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Well.........I'd probably have been terribly hurt years ago. Most people want to be valued for themselves, not for what they can provide materially.

If that occured nowadays,  the hurt would be attached to having made made a seriously shoddy turn in life.

There's always a positive.....You're probably better placed to see that occuring in the future and can choose to avoid it.

agirl







(in reply to queensweetangel)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/28/2006 10:17:09 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Apparently we all have our *price*. The sensible thing to do is to be aware of who shares your *price system*, and how.

*Signing your life away* is something you choose, if you have any sense.........not something that is chosen FOR you.

To be perfectly honest..........I'd be FAR less hurt if I was *passed over* for a financial issue than something significant.

I have the opportunity to change my *wealth status* but not my character. I'm not stuck with the former but I am with the latter.

agirl











(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/28/2006 11:12:52 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I have the opportunity to change my *wealth status* but not my character. I'm not stuck with the former but I am with the latter.

agirl


I completely agree with this. The following is an excerpt from something I posted in a different thread, along the same topic:

"The best thing you can do for yourself is work on starting over.  When I left my husband I left with nothing but my clothes and my grandmother's bed.  I had my job, my health, and incredibly supportive friends and family.  I set myself up in a small apartment, and I was amazed at how many people came over to furnish it.  The best thing I left with, however, was myself.  Material things are just that, and can be replaced.  My spirit, however, can not.

My best to all others who are in a similar position."

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Can a Dom/Master be bought? - 12/28/2006 12:19:46 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		angel,

A "D" that would do such a thing would need to be sent back to D 101 and study the ethics chapter until it/she understood it.

CP

(in reply to queensweetangel)
Profile   Post #: 80
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