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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 10:57:20 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Same as crying out from pain during a scene and the dom stops what he enjoys... disciplines him really nicely

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(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 11:13:06 AM   
aliljaded1


Posts: 121
Joined: 6/20/2004
Status: offline 		i do believe thats called topping from the bottom

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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 11:22:11 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Personally, if Angel ever attempted to "discipline" me, he would be looking for a new owner. He has corrected me, in our vanilla endevors becasue there are plenty of things where his experience or knowhow trumps mine. If I make a mistake, he knows he will not be in trouble for pointing it out and helping me fix it, as long as he can do so respectfully (or at least with a good sense of humor).
However, the ability to discipline and modify behavoir is mine and mine alone. I am training him to please me, I am not being trained to please him. He has his assignments that have to be done, he has his chores that need to be completed and he has his schoolwork that has to be attended to.  It is my place to make sure everything is carried out smoothly.  I monitor all of that and make sure I refocus him as necessary.  If he were to try and keep me o track, I would resent the idea greatly and as fond as I am of him, I would send him on his way. There can only be one Dominant in a one on one D/s relationship.

My 2 cents
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 11:30:05 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		DV has pretty much said it all. 

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 11:32:20 AM   
givemyall


Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline 		Mmmm had to think about this one, but I would pick up my very heavy book 'How to be a perfect submissive' and whack him over the head with it

(in reply to MmakeMme)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 11:34:00 AM   
kishasub


Posts: 49
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline 		It is so not my place to discipline my Domme and not something i'd ever consider doing.

(in reply to MmakeMme)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 11:42:06 AM   
Bignipplessub


Posts: 11
Joined: 12/15/2006
Status: offline 		Why would I discipline my dom, because sometime they are not correct about what they are sayin to me, which makes them look like fool, then makes me wounder why I am with him!!!!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 12:03:47 PM   
akbarbarian


Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline 		If this was done, it would be dysfunctional D/s.

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(in reply to Bignipplessub)
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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 12:12:01 PM   
NaiveTempest


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/20/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I don't really have anything to contribute here, but I'm enjoying reading the post. Some make me laugh and some get me to thinking and understanding/learning. Thank you.

(in reply to akbarbarian)
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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 12:33:00 PM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

How Does One Discipline a Dom?

Wouldn't shouting out your safe word be considered "discipline"? In theory he/she is doing something they enjoy and you are stopping it. That would fall under the definition of discipline even if it is in the context of 'training' him/her to satisfy the submissive. It's similar to saying "NO!" to a puppy.


What a wonderful answer! It is something I had not considered - thank you for this perspective.

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Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 12:33:56 PM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark


Nicely worded.
I was thinking the same thing. As a submissive I have no right or desire to punish a Dom. The only thing I really have is the choice to leave or stay.


I would hate to leave a strong relationship because my Dom was screwing up royally in regard to anything.  I don't expect him to be perfect....or have perfect discipline.  While the NY Giants can test anyone's nerves, screaming at the T.V., for example, doesn't accomplish much. (very small example of a Dominant losing control...lol)

In all reality, just like in any other relationship, either party will screw up.  My Dominant knows I will bring it to his attention.  And, if he has severely hurt my feelings, I will ask for an apology.  Why?  Because our relationship is too precious to just stay and feel like a doormat, or leave.

Sunshine


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(in reply to drawntothedark)
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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 12:38:22 PM   
GrizzlyBear


Posts: 278
Joined: 3/26/2004
From: Missoula Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Same as crying out from pain during a scene and the dom stops what he enjoys... disciplines him really nicely


Wow- that works for you?  Sure wouldn't work with me!  Ouch is not a safeword, neither is "YEEEOOOOW, goddamnit, that hurts, you evil sadistic bastard!"


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GrizzlyBear

"Come to the edge," he said.
They said, "We are afraid."
"Come to the edge," he said.
They came. He pushed them. And they flew.
~Guillaume Apollinaire

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 12:43:06 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Doms are human, just like subs. That means both make mistakes from time to time and may need punishment. If there is any worry about damaging the dynamic of the relationship, I have an easy solution. A dom I used to know rewarded stars to his submissives for good behavior. Once the sub had so many stars, she could punish him for his mistakes. *Runs for cover from all the angry doms for sharing this idea*

(in reply to MmakeMme)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 12:51:21 PM   
WhiteRadiance


Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Don't run for cover- that idea rocks!  Such thinking helps level the playing field, so to speak, and gives the sub an opportunity to vent frustrations and let their dominant know some areas may need some work.  I think that's a great idea!  (I hope my sub doesn't read this) LOL


quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Doms are human, just like subs. That means both make mistakes from time to time and may need punishment. If there is any worry about damaging the dynamic of the relationship, I have an easy solution. A dom I used to know rewarded stars to his submissives for good behavior. Once the sub had so many stars, she could punish him for his mistakes. *Runs for cover from all the angry doms for sharing this idea*


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Staci

The drop of rain makes a hole in a stone not by violence, but by often falling.



(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 12:53:07 PM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: givemyall

Mmmm had to think about this one, but I would pick up my very heavy book 'How to be a perfect submissive' and whack him over the head with it


~chuckle~ That is very cute.

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to givemyall)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 1:01:12 PM   
cinnfulhussy


Posts: 135
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I'll be honest.  I am not a perfect slave who always defers gracefully and demurely to her master at all times, not a slave who accepts her place and never questions his actions.  I DO have a tendency towards passive aggressive behavior, especially when my Irish is up.  Life is a learning process, and learning to deal gracefully with situations I do not like is something that my master and I are working on.  But I'm not Miss Perfection yet.  I still have my days, my moments of <gasp> bitchiness, my moods, my times of weakness and self-pity.  Master and I just celebrated our <my?> 9 year collaring anniversary this month, so luckily my lack of perfection has not harmed the relationship.  In some ways it has helped.  I realize there is a lot of work to be done on me, so my expectations have become more realistic over the years.  Back in the early days I would never admit to another soul that my submission was anything less than complete and perfect in every way.  No one I ever spoke with did, and so I just thought that once you knew you were submissive/slave/whateverlabelyouwant that you had everything all figured out and submitted with grace from there on out.  So yeah, I try and”discipline" my Master on occasion, out of frustration, or anger etc.  It does not usually end well for me, and I end up learning from the experience better how to properly deal with my emotions.  

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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 1:08:03 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		If you request stars for reinforcing good behavior, collect those stars, and use your reward to punish your dom for his own mistakes, you shouldn't have to worry about any repercussions. After all, you having a chance to punish him would be your reward.

(in reply to cinnfulhussy)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 1:14:42 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		I think the fact that when I mess things up my slave is unhappy and doesn't function the way I was hoping he would is what keeps me in check.  9 times in 10, if something's not going along correctly it's the fault of the person running the show. So the results I get or don't get encourage me to be more disciplined. No passive aggression or paddling needed.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 1:19:59 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Many great doms will make use of their slave to help train them to something- to perhaps remind them to take their medicine, to perhaps motivate them to get out of bed on time for a meeting, to perhaps help them study for a big exam coming up.

Slaves can be excellent disciplinarians and the best doms I've known are always working to enhance themselves and recognize that using their slaves in this way can be great.

I don't recommend a slave taking it upon themselves and deciding what and how to discipline their dom without discussing it seriously first.

Doms aren't perfect, most doms need to learn a lot and certainly could use some more discipline- why not use the submissive for this purpose?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 1:27:58 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

If you request stars for reinforcing good behavior, collect those stars, and use your reward to punish your dom for his own mistakes, you shouldn't have to worry about any repercussions. After all, you having a chance to punish him would be your reward.

Does he collect 'stars' from you when he behaves properly too or after a particulary satisfying, for you of course, session?

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 40
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