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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 1:29:59 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		I don't currently have a dom, but I think the idea could work nicely both ways.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 1:30:26 PM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MmakeMme

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalira

LOL it's not my place to decide on whether or not Master should be disciplined.


~laughing too~ Indeed.

LOL, ok, I asked Master this question and he actually thought it quite amusing. Brought to mind a picture of me telling Master ' Master, you have done wrong and must be disciplined. Your thinking must be readjusted"

Umm...nope....can not see it ever happening lol. Master just laughed when I told him that and said try it and see what happens. Somehow, I do not think it would turn out in my best interest

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to MmakeMme)
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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 1:31:22 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Your choice of words may have gotten you some unpleasant replies.

If we take the definition of discipline as an exercise to improve a skill or behavior, than we are all susceptible to training, and there is no reason it could not come from a submissive who had a skill useful for the lives of the D/ or M/s couple.
I probably wouldn't choose to say my boy will discipline me about different things; but I'm hardly perfect, and happen to like smart boys from whom I can learn something, so there will be learning/training from both sides if we are to be in a long term relationship.     M

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MmakeMme)
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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 4:53:36 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~
Interesting question. I have never disciplined my dominant, exactly. However, I do inform him of things that he has done that have hurt, disappointed, or just ticked me off beyond what is normal. I have done this on only a handful of occasions and each time he has realized that either what he did or his approach in doing something caused me pain that simply was not needed, served no purpose, and could weaken our bond if the behavior was repeated. Once realizing this, he apologized, gave me a kiss, made it right and promised to not do it again. I feel this benefited both of us. Because of one particular discussion with him, he realized that while I always wanted him to finish his schoolwork before spending time with me, I did not appreciate him having to cancel a date we had planned weeks earlier because he spent all day playing video games and never bothered to check his schedule until right before we were supposed to leave. As a result, he started doing his work ahead of time so that he wouldn't ever have to worry about it again.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 4:55:41 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Doms are human, just like subs. That means both make mistakes from time to time and may need punishment. If there is any worry about damaging the dynamic of the relationship, I have an easy solution. A dom I used to know rewarded stars to his submissives for good behavior. Once the sub had so many stars, she could punish him for his mistakes. *Runs for cover from all the angry doms for sharing this idea*


That's really cute.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 5:22:53 PM   
akbarbarian


Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Doms are human, just like subs. That means both make mistakes from time to time and may need punishment. If there is any worry about damaging the dynamic of the relationship, I have an easy solution. A dom I used to know rewarded stars to his submissives for good behavior. Once the sub had so many stars, she could punish him for his mistakes. *Runs for cover from all the angry doms for sharing this idea*


That's really cute.

Switchety switch switch switchy.  That sounds rather switchy doesn't it?  What's funny though, is as I got older I'd sometimes see adults behaving in a reprehensable way and comment to those around me that they needed parental discipline because clearly they still needed supervision.  This was before my realization that I identify with BDSM. 

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(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 5:28:51 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akbarbarian

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Doms are human, just like subs. That means both make mistakes from time to time and may need punishment. If there is any worry about damaging the dynamic of the relationship, I have an easy solution. A dom I used to know rewarded stars to his submissives for good behavior. Once the sub had so many stars, she could punish him for his mistakes. *Runs for cover from all the angry doms for sharing this idea*


That's really cute.

Switchety switch switch switchy.  That sounds rather switchy doesn't it?  What's funny though, is as I got older I'd sometimes see adults behaving in a reprehensable way and comment to those around me that they needed parental discipline because clearly they still needed supervision.  This was before my realization that I identify with BDSM. 


It doesn't sound switchy to me. Some have relationships where it is uncomfortable and even not allowed for the submissive/slave to present problems they have with their dominant/master to them. It creates a way for a sub/slave to present the problem without have to "step out" of their role because it's approved by the dom/master. And it's just fun to have stickers! 

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to akbarbarian)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 5:31:11 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		AK-

A master orders a slave to set the alarm, make the coffee and not allow him to stay on the computer later than 12 am, no matter what he may get lost in working on or distracted with.

Should the slave then disobey and allow the master to work until 1am because it would be "switching" to do as ordered?

Ds isn't about the actions- it's about the intent.  A slave may discipline their master and be perfectly within the confines of the standard authority dynamic.  I'm not sure why so many have such rigid ideas of what orders slaves may and may not obey and what orders masters may and may not give.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to akbarbarian)
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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 6:01:13 PM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NaiveTempest

I don't really have anything to contribute here, but I'm enjoying reading the post. Some make me laugh and some get me to thinking and understanding/learning. Thank you.


~smiling~ Precisely so, NT. The rich supply of experience, wisdom and humor is what keeps me coming back here. Good folks.

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Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to NaiveTempest)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 6:10:59 PM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cinnfulhussy

Well, I'll be honest.  I am not a perfect slave who always defers gracefully and demurely to her master at all times, not a slave who accepts her place and never questions his actions. 


<snipped for brevity only>

Your honesty is lovely, cinn. ~smiling~ I can relate to what you are saying.

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 6:22:01 PM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

AK-

A master orders a slave to set the alarm, make the coffee and not allow him to stay on the computer later than 12 am, no matter what he may get lost in working on or distracted with.

Should the slave then disobey and allow the master to work until 1am because it would be "switching" to do as ordered?

Ds isn't about the actions- it's about the intent.  A slave may discipline their master and be perfectly within the confines of the standard authority dynamic.  I'm not sure why so many have such rigid ideas of what orders slaves may and may not obey and what orders masters may and may not give.


Wow. Great response.

And to everyone, a round of polite applause, a plate of Death By Dark Chocolate Decadence, and your choice of beverage. Wonderful answers all of them, some of which I did not expect. Thank you.

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 6:29:01 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

How Does One Discipline a Dom?

Wouldn't shouting out your safe word be considered "discipline"? In theory he/she is doing something they enjoy and you are stopping it. That would fall under the definition of discipline even if it is in the context of 'training' him/her to satisfy the submissive. It's similar to saying "NO!" to a puppy.


That's an interesting use of a safeword.  Not the way I would use one (as a communication device) but hey, whatever works for you is fine with me. 
 
John

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Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 7:02:52 PM   
Zensee


Posts: 1564
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		A rolled up newspaper is very effective.


Z.



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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 7:55:28 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

AK-

A master orders a slave to set the alarm, make the coffee and not allow him to stay on the computer later than 12 am, no matter what he may get lost in working on or distracted with.

Should the slave then disobey and allow the master to work until 1am because it would be "switching" to do as ordered?

Ds isn't about the actions- it's about the intent.  A slave may discipline their master and be perfectly within the confines of the standard authority dynamic.  I'm not sure why so many have such rigid ideas of what orders slaves may and may not obey and what orders masters may and may not give.


It's all labels and containers. I call that example "service" as it moves me forward, even in spite of myself. Like reminding me to take my immunosuppressant or bring a towel or whatever.


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/27/2006 8:13:39 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		i can get very passive aggressive.  Topping from the bottom?  I dont know and i dont care.  If i see something that needs to be corrected, or i feel is wrong.  i bring it up.  Its up to him to change it or not.  If its something i find hurtful or needless that upsets me/pisses me off or w/e - yeah i'll take matters into my own hands.  To teach.  My Dom used to put me on "ignore" for whatever reason.  It did no good for us.  I brought it up, mentioned it.. blah blah blah.  Same ol.  <shrugs> i put myself in a head space where i could flip the tables.  Call me whatever, but if HE doesnt like being ignored and thinks its "wrong" then - um - maybe he'll learn something if its being done to him.  Maybe he wont.  Maybe he'll think its fine.  Who knows?  Its up to him to decide what he wants to do or learn from his once over eager sub who wanted him every minute to a girl who was always too busy. 

I'm told that a D/s relationship is not a double bladed sword.  Yet i refuse to believe that answer.  If its "ok" for him to do it, then it surely must be okay for me to do it.  (which i have, of course said to him)  And of course i tend to get introuble for these actions, but i dont really mind.  If it benefits my relationship in the long run then thats whats important to me.  We've come along away, so it seems i'm not too far off.  We're doing better then ever and i cant say i care too much about the method of how we got here, so long as we're here.

I'm not in this relationship for "me" or even for "him", i'm in it for "us"  For the future of us, as its what "we" want.  A future together.  Neither of us are perfect and we both have alot of learning to do.  He teaches me what he thinks will better our relationship as i try and teach him.  Ultimetly, it comes down to applying what we've learned.  We either do and our relationship is better off or we dont and it isnt. 


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My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to Grlwithboy)
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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 5:08:52 AM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline 		Hey, lilsister! Haven't seen you around in awhile!

You wrote: I'm told that a D/s relationship is not a double bladed sword.  Yet i refuse to believe that answer.  If its "ok" for him to do it, then it surely must be okay for me to do it.  (which i have, of course said to him)  And of course i tend to get introuble for these actions, but i dont really mind.  If it benefits my relationship in the long run then thats whats important to me.  We've come along away, so it seems i'm not too far off.  We're doing better then ever and i cant say i care too much about the method of how we got here, so long as we're here.
 
I must say that I admire that. Giving Him food for thought as it relates to your happiness and relationship. Of course His reaction is always up to Him, but since your happiness in the relationship is key to His Dominance (in that He must keep you to have a submissive) I have a feeling this is fairly common in LTRs, regardless of the semantics used to describe it. I cannot imagine being miserable, submitting to someone who loves making me miserable, and staying around to be miserable to eternity. Good for you. ~smiling~ (And good for Him too.)

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to Devilslilsister)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 5:15:50 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		My thoughts are that it is a thinking person's relationship based on communication.

That communication should entail the ability to speak freely and without reprisal in doing so.

Verbal chastiesment is not the same as a Socratic debate or exchange of feelings.

Without expression the relationship may stagnate and die.


Ross

(in reply to MmakeMme)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 5:37:12 AM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		If the alarm never goes off, I still hold my girl responsible, and I am angry with her, regardless of the intent. Results mean alot more than intent and if intent is the only thing you look for, then it sets the bar much lower than what it needs to be. The reason people do anything is because of preferences. Often time the best intentions can have the worst results.

Discipline a Master, sure but not this Master as I discipline myself and maintain open communication with my girl. It is not her place to discipline me. That is they way I like it and that is the way I want it.


Orion


quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

AK-

A master orders a slave to set the alarm, make the coffee and not allow him to stay on the computer later than 12 am, no matter what he may get lost in working on or distracted with.

Should the slave then disobey and allow the master to work until 1am because it would be "switching" to do as ordered?

Ds isn't about the actions- it's about the intent.  A slave may discipline their master and be perfectly within the confines of the standard authority dynamic.  I'm not sure why so many have such rigid ideas of what orders slaves may and may not obey and what orders masters may and may not give.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 6:17:55 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Nope. I have children to *discipline*........it's hard work.

I have a sneaky feeling that if I could even be bothered to try it..........my safety would be in jeopardy. It wouldn't end prettily......lol

agirl

(in reply to MmakeMme)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 7:41:21 AM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmakeMme

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

You're kidding, right?


~big grin~ To a degree, yes, although not exactly. Your comment made me laugh to myself. Your sig is delicious.


I grin when I see her sig line because Master has said that to me a lot.  In fact, if my Master had a brother, I would think hers and mine were related, lol.


Thank you, ownedgirlie. I, too, often think we have many similarities in our relationships with our Masters. I enjoy your posts and appreciate the insights you share.

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(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 60
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