RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom?

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RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 8:18:58 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf
If the alarm never goes off, I still hold my girl responsible, and I am angry with her, regardless of the intent. Results mean alot more than intent and if intent is the only thing you look for, then it sets the bar much lower than what it needs to be. The reason people do anything is because of preferences. Often time the best intentions can have the worst results.

Discipline a Master, sure but not this Master as I discipline myself and maintain open communication with my girl. It is not her place to discipline me. That is they way I like it and that is the way I want it.

Yes, we agree, when it comes to obeying, intentions only go so far and ultimately results need to be seen. I was using the terms in a different sense.

Some people say "Getting a drink for someone is a submissive action."

My point is that no "action" is a "submissive" or "dominant action."

What matters is the intent and motivation BEHIND that action. Getting a drink may be dominant, submissive, or neither depending on the situation.

Thus, giving a person discipline, or helping to instill discipline into a person is not a "dominants only" thing- it's perfectly acceptable and a great use for a slave to have them be part of instilling discipline in the master.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)

Post #: 61

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 10:51:29 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Hey, lilsister! Haven't seen you around in awhile!

I must say that I admire that. Giving Him food for thought as it relates to your happiness and relationship. Of course His reaction is always up to Him, but since your happiness in the relationship is key to His Dominance (in that He must keep you to have a submissive) I have a feeling this is fairly common in LTRs, regardless of the semantics used to describe it. I cannot imagine being miserable, submitting to someone who loves making me miserable, and staying around to be miserable to eternity. Good for you. ~smiling~ (And good for Him too.)

Hiya! Sometimes i'm under Riotgirl which is my old name. <smilez> and here i thought i was spending too much time here. True what he decides to do with what i show him, is up to him. Sometimes "telling" people does not actually broaden their minds, sometimes you have to show. People generally see things from their perspective and i think its helpful to show people another perspective. I'm sure you heard the phrase "until you've walked a mile in my shoes" Well no one can actually benefit until they've stepped in another pair of shoes. I dont hold myself to just "our" relationship, but anything pertaining to "us". Him and i are a unit, so that also includes anything i see that if he "changes" would benefit him in the long run. So yeah i bring things up, i show him things, ect. The change only comes from what he wishes and i personally dont think people can change if they dont see something needs to be changed.

P.S. We arent really ldr anymore. Technically yes as we've an hour between us, but he just spent 5 days here - has gone home for a day and a half and will be back again for the weekend. (grinz - which starts tomorrow) It feels like he is practically next door these days.

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to MmakeMme)

Post #: 62

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 10:55:07 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Yes, we agree, when it comes to obeying, intentions only go so far and ultimately results need to be seen. I was using the terms in a different sense.

Some people say "Getting a drink for someone is a submissive action."

My point is that no "action" is a "submissive" or "dominant action."

What matters is the intent and motivation BEHIND that action. Getting a drink may be dominant, submissive, or neither depending on the situation.

Thus, giving a person discipline, or helping to instill discipline into a person is not a "dominants only" thing- it's perfectly acceptable and a great use for a slave to have them be part of instilling discipline in the master.

i totally agree. slaves can help their Masters in many many ways. Some take care of the finances, some help with health issues. If a slave has something they can "offer" a Master, then its a service to the Master.

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 63

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 11:43:04 AM

OrionTheWolf

Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

Now that I can undertstand.

There is a difference between pointing things out, and actually disciplining. If my slave were to do any of the things mentioned to discipline me, it would likely backfire on her. Life disciplines us if we pay attention, it is not my slaves place to discipline me and she knew this before begging my collar. She has even tried the very subtle manipulations many use and I stop it right away, as she says "I don't miss a thing.".

I see many things as just plain neutral. If I am in the kitchen I may even call out to those in the family room if they need anything. I don't see things like this as submissive or dominant, they are courteous and helpful. I will say that I see many dominants that seem to keep a gruff and angry attitude about them all the time, and I have wondered if it is because that is their view of being dominant.

Orion

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf
If the alarm never goes off, I still hold my girl responsible, and I am angry with her, regardless of the intent. Results mean alot more than intent and if intent is the only thing you look for, then it sets the bar much lower than what it needs to be. The reason people do anything is because of preferences. Often time the best intentions can have the worst results.

Discipline a Master, sure but not this Master as I discipline myself and maintain open communication with my girl. It is not her place to discipline me. That is they way I like it and that is the way I want it.

Yes, we agree, when it comes to obeying, intentions only go so far and ultimately results need to be seen. I was using the terms in a different sense.

Some people say "Getting a drink for someone is a submissive action."

My point is that no "action" is a "submissive" or "dominant action."

What matters is the intent and motivation BEHIND that action. Getting a drink may be dominant, submissive, or neither depending on the situation.

Thus, giving a person discipline, or helping to instill discipline into a person is not a "dominants only" thing- it's perfectly acceptable and a great use for a slave to have them be part of instilling discipline in the master.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 64

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 3:06:32 PM

MmakeMme

Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

I see many things as just plain neutral. If I am in the kitchen I may even call out to those in the family room if they need anything. I don't see things like this as submissive or dominant, they are courteous and helpful. I will say that I see many dominants that seem to keep a gruff and angry attitude about them all the time, and I have wondered if it is because that is their view of being dominant.

Orion

Ah, Master Orion. ~smiling~ Hello. My Sir and I have had such discussions about Dominant behavior. Polite consideration is ~extremely~ sexy and none the less Dominant than wielding a whip, as long as it pleases One to do so.

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)

Post #: 65

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 3:34:52 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmakeMme

The dynamic in the D/s relationship is such that it gives the D the power to discipline His sub or slave in any way He sees fit. How have you, as a sub or slave, found yourself "disciplining" Him, either overtly or covertly? (And if you are the D or M type, have you found yourself on the receiving end of such "punishment"?) ~chuckle~

It depends on the meaning of "discipline". If you mean discipline as in to teach...in certain situations and done a certain way...O.K.. If you mean discipline as in to punish or to correct, then I agree that it would not be my submissive's place to do so.

I've been told that I'm pretty flexible. For me, being told "Sir, if you would just bring that S. B. down a little more to the right, it would get a hell of a lot better reaction from me" with the purpose of making things more enjoyable for us in the long run is a good thing but not something I would want or expect all the time. Respect and tact when stating something like this goes a long way. Pointing out to me where I've made a mistake in doing something in which she has more experience and/or knowledge or in order to stop me from embarassing myself is a good thing. Attempting to modify or correct my behavior to something more suitable to them in either an overt or covert way...no. You agreed to follow my dictates, including modification of behavior, not the other way around. If you don't like my way of doing things or feel that you know better in too many areas of the D/s structure, then I am not the one you should be looking at.

(in reply to MmakeMme)

Post #: 66

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 3:41:44 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

accidently *ahem* nip with your teeth when giving him a blow job
Sorry cudnt resist

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 67

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 3:52:13 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

accidently *ahem* nip with your teeth when giving him a blow job
Sorry cudnt resist

Wicked girl....~grins~.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 68

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 4:27:29 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear misstubation, CreativeDominant, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Accidently nip with teeth during/giving a blow errr umm---Oh my!!

No accident in my mind's eyes. Slave's next visit is to an oral surgeon, extract all those teeth and slap in a pair of dentures; then have them out before that 'nippy' slave did anything on my tender viddles! At least you guys would be gummed to death instead of chomped, chipped and or chived.

Respectfully submitted with a lot of shock (sorta) and a lot of wit,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 69

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 5:07:24 PM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

i think i'd be bopped on the head if i chomped down on my Master's male parts. There are alot of things i can imagine doing, some things i cant imagine doing that i've done anyways.. and some things i know hell would freeze over before i ever did.

Chomping down on your Dom's penis while giving a bj - goes straight into the "hell freezing over" catagory.. but i'm still gigigling at the thought of it.. i bet a man's eyes would bulge out of his head!

eye bulge
girlie scream
swift thomp on the head.

hehehehhee

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 70

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 6:04:51 PM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister

i think i'd be bopped on the head if i chomped down on my Master's male parts.

Well, if he didn't think to get his part out of your mouth before bopping you on the head, a real vicious circle could ensue.

MaryT, envisioning an ex-rated slapstick

(in reply to Devilslilsister)

Post #: 71

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 8:55:17 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmakeMme

The dynamic in the D/s relationship is such that it gives the D the power to discipline His sub or slave in any way He sees fit. How have you, as a sub or slave, found yourself "disciplining" Him, either overtly or covertly? (And if you are the D or M type, have you found yourself on the receiving end of such "punishment"?) ~chuckle~

Well when I have been naughty... alandra or kyra will torture me by sucking my cock and balls an exceptional long time ... oh the pain of it all

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MmakeMme)

Post #: 72

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/28/2006 9:04:57 PM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

Well, if he didn't think to get his part out of your mouth before bopping you on the head, a real vicious circle could ensue.

MaryT, envisioning an ex-rated slapstick

rofl!!!

**chomp** "aaaaaah" **bop** **chomp** "aaaaaah" **bop** LOL round and round it goes

Actually Master assured me that if it ever happend and he bopped me on the head, the jaw DOES release. Not that i've put it all to the test.

KoM you have some vicious girls there.. we all...... feeel...... your.... pain

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 73

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/29/2006 8:03:05 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

Disciplining a Dominant ......hummmm...interesting concept.....is there an addendum regarding this in the submissive handbook?...who forgot to send me a FAX on this?......ok! ALL Dominants who have messed up!.Line up to the right!...Now..bendover....

.................ahhh...was it as good for you as it was for me?...

....Tempting

(in reply to Devilslilsister)

Post #: 74

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/29/2006 8:26:54 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

He disciplines himself by the consequences of his actions. Meaning that if he were to jump to conclusions and accuse me of things I didn't do, I would lose trust and faith in him which would damage the relationship. But I wouldn't be punishing him with this, it would be something he would bring on himself.

If you're talking about people getting upset and angry with each other, sure I have. I sulk for a bit until I'm calmer and then talk about it. Emotionally if I'm upset, I'm not horny. Yes he could demand sex anyway but knowing me I'd probably insist on reading my book during it, I sure wouldn't be turned on. Since he's never insisted on pushing when I'm already close to tears we haven't actually had this happen. He's a smart man who realizes that his behavior will cause changes in my mood and he tries to rectify problems as soon as possible.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 75

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/29/2006 8:46:17 PM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

Umm...take away all his toys?

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to MmakeMme)

Post #: 76

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/29/2006 10:10:23 PM

shatteringlilium

Posts: 35
Joined: 10/19/2005
From: BFE, Washington
Status: offline

I think a Dom's ultimate punishment is finding himself subless. If he's acting in such a way that breaches his own contract wiht the submissive or is being childish or - well - stupid, the sub gets to show him that yes, s/he DOES have power.

How can the so-called Dom hold Dominance over nothing? The best punishment, once the limits have been pushed too far, is simply leaving. Now, whether or not the so-called Dom learns his or her lesson is the real question.

Because I think we all know at least one person who twists it around and blames all of their failings in any type of relationship on the other person, especially if THEY leave.

_____________________________

I am standing in the shadow
of my ever-waking mind
And I feel this darkness, hallow
close around me over time
Embraced within my solitude,
alone with my designs
Left on my own to meditate
the shadows of my mind.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 77

RE: How Does One Disclipline a Dom? - 12/29/2006 10:14:46 PM

shatteringlilium

Posts: 35
Joined: 10/19/2005
From: BFE, Washington
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

accidently *ahem* nip with your teeth when giving him a blow job
Sorry cudnt resist

I'd do it.

_____________________________

I am standing in the shadow
of my ever-waking mind
And I feel this darkness, hallow
close around me over time
Embraced within my solitude,
alone with my designs
Left on my own to meditate
the shadows of my mind.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 78

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