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RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/1/2007 9:29:25 PM

dcnovice

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I sometimes find it helpful to remember the concept of load shedding. That's when an electric company, about to be overwhelmed with demand, cuts off power to less critical customers. I try to see if there's anything I can move off my plate in order to focus better on what really needs attention.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 21

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/1/2007 9:37:22 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
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I feel like that, but it comes and goes in cycles. I have friends and family who understand this. Letting the people who I love love me back has alleviated a lot of my problems. I also have a box full of things (books, quotes, movies, pictures, random objects) that inspire me and motivate me and make my chest tighten in a good way. When I'm finally done wallowing or grieving, I open my box and remind myself and refocus. Also, I find talking about something until I can't breathe very cathartic. If I can't find someone to listen, I talk to myself. This is an excerpt from a book that helped me. The author is talking about feeling like he needed to be a superhuman who did everything and helped everyone. "I meet so many people who have a superwhatever rattling around in their head. They have this person they are convinced they are suppose to be and their superwhatever is killing them. They have this image they have picked up over the years of how they are suppose to look and act and work and play and talk and it's like a voice that never stops shouting in their ear. And the only way to not be killed by it is to shoot first. Yes, that's what I meant to write. You have to kill your superwhatever. And you have to do it right now. Because your superwhatever will rob you of today and tomorrow and the next day until you take it out back and end its life."

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Post #: 22

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/1/2007 9:50:19 PM

AAkasha

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Joined: 11/27/2004
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Do some volunteer work for a few hours. You've refused in the past and said you don't like to be around homeless people or at shelters. Here's something even easier -- find a local animal shelter and go over and offer to walk or help socialize some of the dogs. The walking will be good for you and you'll feel better about yourself . You'll also meet and share smiles with very kind people who give their time to support these animals.
Akasha

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(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 23

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/1/2007 9:53:13 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

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i've also stated i do not have transportation as well.

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Post #: 24

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/1/2007 9:57:48 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
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I know the feeling and i have spent the better part of the last few days hysterical crying.. in fact I have been crying more then I havent been... Iv made myself quite sick a few times from the crying.. so yeah i know the feeling.. you need to talk you can message me on the other side.

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 25

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/1/2007 10:08:01 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

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thanks, hon...i'll keep that in mind when i know i won't blabber incoherantly. it's all i can do right now to put together rational thought enough to reply here.

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Post #: 26

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/1/2007 10:45:35 PM

NeedToUseYou

Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
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Have sex, or if a partner is not available, rub one out.

I'm joking sorta, but it's impossible to be stressed after sex. At least I can't be stressed, hell it's hard enough to stay awake, let alone worry. So worth a try.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 27

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/1/2007 11:11:03 PM

KeirasSecret

Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline

Michael,

Your profile says you like writing. Have you tried writing out how your feeling and why. I find that sometimes helps me to get rid of it.

Be well,

< Message edited by KeirasSecret -- 1/1/2007 11:13:23 PM >

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It apears to me, the practice of "an eye for an eye" has finally taken it's toll; the majority are now walking around blind.

Bitching; whining in a louder voice.

If the truth hurts, change it!

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 28

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/1/2007 11:12:01 PM

DarkQuin

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Hey Michael,

We all go through this at times and I know how it is when meds just don't do it. I have moderate reactions to most anti-depressants which makes getting undepressed even harder when you are physically miserable. Remember, you are not superhuman and you can only do so much with what you have. Over a year ago, I had something like this happen to me, too much happened in too short of a time and it felt like everybody needed something from me and I was already operating in the negatives and the drain became overwhelming. I let it get to me way too much and mentally shut down and lost a great relationship because of the lack of communication and other variables on my part.

You need to remember you can't do it all, we are not dieties, gods, goddesses, demigods nor superheroes, we are humans that are making the attempt to be great people. We are in this lifestyle, because we reject the notion that life is boring and it's rules are defined by strangers.

Q

(in reply to NeedToUseYou)

Post #: 29

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/1/2007 11:19:00 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KeirasSecret

Michael,

Your profile says you like writing. Have you tried writing out how your feeling and why. I find that sometimes helps me to get rid of it.

Be well,

it all comes out gibberish these days. that's one of the frustrating things.

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Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to KeirasSecret)

Post #: 30

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/1/2007 11:32:58 PM

KeirasSecret

Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline

ahhhhhhh....been there, done that too. There have been times when I've tried to write and the sentences begin with one thought and end with another. Is it something like that?

edited to add: write it anyway...it will sort itself out in time.

Be well,

< Message edited by KeirasSecret -- 1/1/2007 11:39:09 PM >

_____________________________

It apears to me, the practice of "an eye for an eye" has finally taken it's toll; the majority are now walking around blind.

Bitching; whining in a louder voice.

If the truth hurts, change it!

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 31

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/2/2007 3:24:06 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
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If you feel like you need to scream- then do it
put a pillow over your head and scream.scream scream
may sound silly but it does work.
It doesnt fix everything but it lessens the stress/anxiety

opps- I replied right away before I read what any one else said. Zensse said it first

< Message edited by swtnsparkling -- 1/2/2007 3:27:29 AM >

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Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 32

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/2/2007 3:28:46 AM

Level

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Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

i know some here will probably flame me for this, but i'm gonna post it anyway

i have been so under stress lately that i can't even think straight. so many things going on lately that my anxiety is very high. nothing seems to help. i just want to scream at the top of my lungs.

anyone else here ever get this way?

You're not the only one. Since finding out I'm diabetic the day before Christmas eve, I've been seriously depressed; my eyes are messed up (I have not worn my glasses in two days at least), and I can't get the pictures of what my dad went through out of my head, toe amputations and going in and out of hospitals the last few years of his life.

I did it all to myself, and I'll curse myself for it as long as I live.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 33

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/2/2007 3:32:05 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I just read all the replies and I'm now thinking
ah crap why did I even bother.
same as always- you find some excuse as to why you cant do something
I dont think I have ever seen you write- "thanks so n so I think I will try that"
- you may have a thousand reasons why you cant- but you dont have a single excuse- try again

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 34

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/2/2007 3:41:46 AM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

One thing about depression is, you end up feeling alone and like no one can understand, or have possibly been this sad, upset, angry, etc..ever before in history. What you learn when you start looking and listening to others is, a lot have, and some even worse than you.

If someone flames you, that is their problem, not yours. With each idea for help, or each suggestion though.. you knock it down, giving a reason why you CAN'T do it. That is where your problem is, a big part of it anyway. You see, when you want to do something bad enough, you can find a way. I know the transportation is hard, I don't have any either.. but the other things, you could find ways to do. One thing might not work one time, but it will the next. That is why you try and try again to find a way to get better. It's a lot of HARD WORK to get better, and in ways.. a lot easier to just sit back and complain about not getting there.

A lot of us have been there..crying, despair, suicide, head banging, cutting, throwing, not getting out of bed..etc. The thing is, you have to do it yourself, Michael..no one can give you a magic potion to fix things, or a perfect idea. I have found that the ones that suffer from depression a lot, usually know all the ways to work on it..but rather than doing that, they try to find something else, or would almost feel lost if they didn't have that depression to fall into, or lean on.

I am bulimic, I know everything there is to know about it, studied it, can tell you all the things that go wrong, and many ways to fix it. That doesn't make me better unless I am willing to put in the hard, hard work of doing it. That was what I started yesterday, I have made it three days not binging/purging..it's not a lot, but dammit.. it's a start.

I am also a cutter, but haven't in a couple of weeks now. That is hard also, there are days I want to cut like there is no tomorrow, but I won't allow myself.

For every step forward, there will be steps back sometimes...but that is when you dust yourself off...put neosporin on the wounds, and go on. Life is worth living, and it's worth living the best and happiest you can... till you realize that, the dark will welcome you like a soft blanket with thorns in it.

It's a long road to recover from anything, but it's road you can't travel unless you actually get on it and are determined.

Best Wishes,

Kasha

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Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

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www.goveg.com

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 35

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/2/2007 3:44:24 AM

bandit25

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Joined: 6/18/2005
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Wonderful post, Kasha and so true. We have to take that first step ourselves..no one can do it for us. Thank you.

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)

Post #: 36

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/2/2007 3:57:22 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Michael, I dont mean to be rude, but there are alot of other people in worse shape than you...try and remember that and be thankful. A negative attitude only brings on negative energy.

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Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 37

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/2/2007 4:06:36 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

i kow this sounds simple....and i am NOT being trite....but move your body...take a dance class, work in a gym, walk for a mile or two....and volunteer somewhere...call up a shelter and feed the homless...you better in no time.

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This is him

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(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 38

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/2/2007 4:07:34 AM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

Wonderful post, Kasha and so true. We have to take that first step ourselves..no one can do it for us. Thank you.

Thank you.

That is what I am doing right now.. all of that left over food in the fridge, and how I am fighting with all I have not to go and binge, knowing I can purge after and it will all go away.

Every day is a battle for a lot of us in this world, you either do something about it, or you don't. You make a choice everyday..to live, or to exist.. which you do in the end..comes down to you.

Kasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 39

RE: Heading for a breakdown - 1/2/2007 4:11:25 AM

newsubseeking61

Posts: 33
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline

Do you find that these bouts happen at a certain time of the year?

For YEARS, I thought that I was just depressed (diagnosed and treated with meds...rather ineffectively). Then I started to notice that the really bad times came at the same time of the year: September to January.

Turns out I have seasonal affective disorder. That means that my sense of well being is effected by the amount of sunlight I am exposed to daily.When I pay attention, I can feel the changes in me as early as July. (The longest sunlight day of the year is around June 20, the shortest is around December 20.) I am so senstive to the changes in sunlight that going to northwestern Pennsylvania in the summer makes me sick. (I work there in the summers and love what I do.)

Repeating what Level has said, the most important thing when dealing with any chronic condition is that it is MY RESPONSIBILITY to recognize the beginning symptoms and treat them. The really tough thing about depression is that...IF I WAIT TOO LONG I just don't care if I live or die.... So, I pay close attention to what is going on.

Sunbox therapy saved my life. It is a bit expensive at the outset, but long term it pays for itself in one season. (http://www.sunbox.com/Research/) Also, prozac was a godsend for me, but I don't use it anymore...don't need to. If I pay attention and use the sunbox regularly, I AM FINE! I have also found fish oil and anything that helps brain function to be helpful. The web is a wonderful thing...access to so much information......

best!

jessica

< Message edited by newsubseeking61 -- 1/2/2007 4:15:10 AM >

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 40

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