SlaveAkasha
Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006 From: Indiana Status: offline
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quote:
i'm alergic to prozac...and other anti-depressants are ineffective...been on them all at one time or other. quote:
i live in a moble home with neighbors too close by. can't do any screaming without involving the cops quote:
where i life, i'm not close to wooded areas. i guess i could go out and start a fight with a gang. quote:
i've also stated i do not have transportation as well. quote:
while i appreciate everyone's input and emails, i must re-state that i do not have transportation of my own and getting around town is almost impossible for me. I am noticing a pattern and I am sure others are and that's why you were afraid of a flaming when you even started the thread to begin with. You have been offered well thought out responses, from myself and others..and this is what we get in return for our time and effort. You always have an excuse, a reason why you can't do something, or won't try it. Just because one thing doesn't work one time, doesn't mean it won't the next. For instance... I have tried meditation in the past, it works sometimes and other times it doesn't. I set up an alter in my living room the other day, where I have put candles, a cross, and other things that give me comfort or put me in a more spiritual place. The time I spend there isn't hours a day, only a few minutes..but for those minutes, I am trying to clear my mind, pray, release pain, stress...whatever I feel like doing at that moment. The thing is, I was open that it could help, I allowed myself to find help and peace in the action I am doing. Sometimes when I am ready to scream, I go out and take a walk ( I don't have a car either, that's what legs are for)..it might only be around the block, but it gives me a few moments to just "be". Most of us at some point in our lives have been hurt, abandoned, despressed, had loss, been unemployed, etc.... but it's the ones that don't let it totally rule them for the rest of their lives that have won. Their struggle does not end by some magic pill, or solution..it ends because they have had enough crying, hurting, not living, despair, and even their own whining about it and are ready to get on with their lives no matter the circumstance. We all don't have perfecf lives, and haven't. I have lived in a mobile home, I have lived in public housing, I have been close to homeless... I have had great jobs and no job.. I have loved very much, I have lost those I loved, I have loved and not been loved back... I have not been able to have the one thing my heart desires (a baby)...but each day I have to make the choice to get out of that bed and make the best and most of what I DO have. I am very blessed to live in a nice house, have someone that loves me, wonderful animals, and family I love. Those were not things I always had, even a few months ago..but now I do. I don't take one moment for granted, and I still find myself heading for depression, pills, cutting, eating, bulimia, drinking..etc..but I stop and take care of it before it gets to the point where I find myself sitting with a razor blade to my wrist again. It's hard, but I do it and so do millions of others everyday. I do wish you luck, but that won't get you anywhere unless you are ready for the work it takes to get there. Kasha
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Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please. ~ Tank Girl www.peta.org www.goveg.com
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