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ORIGINAL: LotusSong

When I wrote that it was in the context of poly relationships. 

Ooops!  My apologies LotusSong, I missed your intended context!  Perhaps you can blame it on my impending senility!

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I don't know about you, but I don't think I've seen a bunch of blue hairs living in lust in their advancing years. (unless it's a forced nursing home situation. However, Sun City gets pretty frisky, I hear.)

I'm reminded of the silver haired country singer, nicknamed "the Silver Fox" Charlie Rose? (sorry, can't recall the exact last name) who had the hit song titled "No one knows what goes on behind closed doors!"

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ORIGINAL: slavebrandyj

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo


So you have choices.

1) move on and try to find someone who is closer to your expectations; I think this is unlikely to work unless you also take the next choice

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2) work on your expectations and making them more realistic

Now this sounds like I should lower my values and settle for less then what I need and want.

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Many folks have high expectations and that is fine unless you constantly find yourself unhappy. Then I think you have to ask yourself how realistic those expectations are. Too many people think there are only two choices -- their high expectations or no expectations. Think of your expectations, see them as a line of different concepts or points, now more those points up and down the line from the two extremes until you are looking for something that fulfills what you want but offers you a realistic chance to successful find a partnership.

And what's so high about having expectations of a one on one loving D/s relationship? I won't lower it by sharing my heart with more then one romantically. And to me anything less is lower then the way it should be. But that's me and I think the majority of both men and women feel. Maybe not in D/s relationships;The voter is still out on that. But not in a one on one love relationship.

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ORIGINAL: devoT

Ahhh, the pain of unrequited love... the ancient samurai used to claim this was the sweetest, most refined love of all... we've all been through it, and some of us learn from it, and some of us don't, and remain destined to repeat history again and again.

In my experience, which may not be vast, female dominants are not all that different from vanilla women. In a partner, they seek above all else, someone they can respect. The analogy of a Knight and his Lady is a good one, or even King Kong and Ann Darrow. I have seen too many men, in both D/s and vanilla relationships, lose their self-respect and become a pathetic grovelling worm. While many women might enjoy reducing a man to this level, it is usually just a temporary thing if the relationship is to survive beyond short term. A man still needs to be a MAN, by which I mean emotionally strong in character, and not a puppy dog laptoy, if his Lady is to retain any respect for him. And in my view, respect is absolutely fundamental to love. If there's no respect, or respect fades, there can be no love. Just as in any other relationship, if one wants to be loved, one must do the things that earn respect, rather than the things that earn contempt. Love will naturally follow. Where's the fun in dominating a grovelling worm? Far more fun, and a much greater accomplishment/challenge, to tame a wild beast!

As men, we are wild beasts, seeking that one special Lady to tame us. We run wild and free and play rough, until she enters our lives and decides that we are the one for her. Then she sets about taming us. But it's our wildness, and roughness, and MANLINESS that attracts her in the first place. If she wanted another girl friend, it's much less effort for her to get a real one, than to try and turn some sissy worm into one. We submit to her training because we love her. And we love her because she's the one who made us submit. It's a two-way challenge, a game, a tug-of-war, not a roll-over-and-tickle-my-tummy. Where's the challenge in that? She may dominate, but you have to be worth dominating in the first place.


*I realise that the terms MAN and MANLINESS may be confusing to some. Just to clarify, you don't have to be 6'6", have muscles on muscles, drink 15 pints of beer, love football, sweat profusely, and have a hairy chest, to be a man. Being a MAN is about something else: it's attitude, personality, character, an inner strength.

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It's harsh, but true.. the older we get the less desireable we become. 

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ORIGINAL: slavebrandyj

I have been told that love and D/s cannot co-exist, or at best is rare.

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ORIGINAL: dekley

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It's harsh, but true.. the older we get the less desireable we become. 

Hmmm... I take it you're not familiar with that old Hank Thompson song, "The Older the Violin, the Sweeter the Music."

dekley

Probably :)  My husband is 60 and my Slave is 62 :) 

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ORIGINAL: slavebrandyj
 I have been told that love and D/s cannot co-exist, or at best is rare.

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ORIGINAL: slavebrandyj
I have been told that love and D/s cannot co-exist, or at best is rare.