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AAkasha -> RE: To Cyber or Not (1/7/2007 12:13:03 PM)
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The people that complain about cybersex and say it's boring or a waste clearly aren't doing it right! (grin).
Most of my BDSM activities are in real life and always have been. But I still find the phone and the internet to be great tools for hot long distance encounters. The same goes for phone sex. If someone looks down on me because I think phone domination/phone sex can be hot, I think they suffer from a very poor imagination! Keep in mind, these are not REPLACEMENTS for real life, but enhancements. I like to explore sexuality in ALL forms.
Before the Internet, I often wrote hot, sexually steamy love letters to partners, knowing they would shoot their load on the final page. I liked lovers that could do the same -- write me notes that would literally make me ache with desire. Does that mean we were losers in real life sex? Of course not, this was ENHANCEMENT! If a man cannot use the written word to arouse me, or craft sentences to make me wet, then he's probably going to be a disappointment in bed. Why? Because he can't use the most important sexual organ of all - the brain.
Those that slam cyber or phone sex or domination I think are closeminded and/or intimdated by the thought of having to arouse someone without touching their sexparts. Hey, in person, it's easy. But that's why so many men fall short in bed -- they limit themselves sexually to tacticle sensations. They can't talk dirty, they have no sense of timing and they are unable to understand the wiring of the female brain because they haven't romanced it using the written word.
Most men suck at cybersex, cybersubmission. Many are pretty bad at phonesex, but some can do it. Those that are exceptional at both were always fine lovers in person. They get it. They have patience. They think things through. They also take care in understanding my hot buttons.
I don't engage in the kind of cybersex that goes like this: "Akasha binds your wrists tightly to the bedposts." "/me struggles and whimpers, looking at you helplessly" -- nah, that's not it. What I like are steamy email exchanges where I list demands and expectations, and expect them to be carried out, photographed and/or videotaped, then responded to in detail. I don't do email/cyber stuff any more unless there's a telephone component -- I want to be on the phone when a lot of this is going on so I can hear the reactions. The Internet allows us to combine audio, video and text now for a mindblowing experience.
People wrongly judge those who engage in cyber and phone sex as being incapable of having "real life" bdsm. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm someone with a daily dose of physical BDSM in real life. I see cyber and phone as enhancement to an already mindblowing sex life.
For those that claim real life is the only way to go, I suppose if your lover had to leave town for two weeks you'd sit there twiddling your thumbs and playing with your privates all alone because you are incapable of taking your sexuality outside of the 3d world? Sad!!
Akasha
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