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Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and why?


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Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and why? - 1/12/2007 9:47:10 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Hello ladies, and those that like the ladies
Do you date vanilla? meaning non lifestylers?
Why?  Do you enjoy it?
Do you tell them about this lifestyle?

 
I don't date vanilla myself, but if I meet a "naturally submissive" male,
I might give it a whirl.
I run across a few "naturally submissive" men in day to day life, and I
often try to picture them crawling, obeying me and all manner of things.
I can't wrap my head around vanilla dating, but who knows what the future
will bring?

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/12/2007 9:55:35 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Honestly? sex... I love the submission of a slave/sub boy, but have yet to find one that I have any interest in sexually...I have no problem having fuck buddies, hookups, etc...but the Mistress/submisive relationship is too complex for that sort of flippant sexuality.  It doesn't help that I tend to be 'switch' in a rather non-bdsm way in bed and in prefer total (if just a tad sassy) submissives in my bdsm play.  One day...maybe...just maybe....but in the meantime...bring on the vinillia guys w/ kinky sprinkes for sex!

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."


(in reply to MzMia)
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RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/12/2007 9:57:23 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		I haven't dated vanilla since I began reading/living as an admitted (mostly to self) as a female dominant, but I definitely would if I met a naturally submissive gentleman...   Why?  Because my kink is dominance driven, and if a man were receptive that way (by being submissive), we would do well together...  Not to mention those men tend to treat women well in general.   I'll never forget the naturally sub man I had and squandared. *sigh*
Unfortunately I tend to attract aggressive/dominant men and with those I already know how the story ends, so I don't go there.    M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MzMia)
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RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/13/2007 7:11:34 AM   
KaramelGoddess


Posts: 404
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline 		Hiya MzMia :)
 
I often find myself confused.  Much of society dictates that by now I should be married with 1.5 kids.  Goddess help me, but sometimes that is what I wish for - a so-called "normal" life.  But my heartfelt desires and wishes won't allow me to have that sort of relationship.
So, much like LadyLupine, my vanilla dates are purely for sex.  I love a submissive man who is devoted and loves to worship, and lets me play, and plays in return.  However, and this is blunt... I need a good fuck every now and again.
When I find a man who can give me both - LOL I'll be the happiest woman alive.
~Kara

_____________________________

"Never eat more than you can lift." ~ Miss Piggy

(in reply to MzMia)
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RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/13/2007 8:33:19 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Because I'm open and honest about who I am (in fact, my profiles here, on alt, on myspace and on Live Journal are all pretty much the same), the men I date fully know who and what I am...and at least have an acceptance of the lifestyle. Ds or play components may or may not crop up; it doesn't matter. I just kind go with it. In the end, I date them because I like them and because we connect on some level, not because of the kink (if there's any).

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MzMia)
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RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/13/2007 10:04:03 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I do not date vanilla -- it interests me not in the slightest and I think dating someone who was vanilla and hoping I could get them interested would be cruel to both of us. I have one mostly vanilla relationship all ready in my life (with my husband) and that is more than enough vanilla in my world.

However I identify my primarily sexual orientation as dominant -- not as het or bi or lesbian -- so vanilla isn't really an option for me. I think if someone identifies another way as their primarily sexual and social identity and sees kink as something fun to add, they could very well find a similar perspective in a primarily vanilla person. I think if someone just wants bondage from time to time or weekend thrills in the bedroom a person might be better off looking for a vanilla relationship with an open-minded person.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MzMia)
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RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/13/2007 10:07:12 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I would not again no. I dated someone who had NO CLUE about bdsm or anything, and I thought we could learn together with me guiding and it didn't happen. He only went along for me and all along he hoped I'd outgrow everything and forget about it all.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/13/2007 10:15:00 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		I do date vanilla from time to time, when I meet an interesting man with common interests outside of the lifestyle.  I attend a lot of metaphysical functions and have met some interesting men at them.  Things generally don't progress beyond a certain point, though, because My heart's desire is a long-term relationship with a submissive man and a vanilla man just won't cut it.  I do thoroughly enjoy the time I spend with these men and the great conversations we have, but we generally end up as friends.  I just can't see a vanilla man as My life partner.
 
Sometimes I will tell them about My involvement in the lifestyle, sometimes not.  There are some metaphysical groups I attend regularly where I am well-known, and if I meet the guy at one of them, I generally keep mum.  I really don't want any of them spreading the word about My preferences to my vanilla friends, as I feel it is none of their business.  If I meet the guy somewhere else, and we don't have any mutual vanilla friends, I might tell him about My involvement in the lifestyle if I feel comfortable with him and sense that he is an accepting person.
 
Lady Topaz

< Message edited by MysticFireTopaz -- 1/13/2007 10:23:23 AM >

(in reply to MzMia)
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RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/13/2007 10:50:06 AM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		I sometimes talk to vanilla men and mention the lifestyle. While many seem intrigued and say they've had fantasies about trying it, they automatically assume I'm an easy slut. They can't seem to understand that one can be kinky without being slutty. The few who weren't looking for an easy lay try hoped to steer me away from the lifestyle. I wouldn't be happy settling for a relationship where something was always missing. I actually posted a thread last night under bdsm general discussion about lifestyle men dating vanilla women instead of the their lifestyle play partners and the problems it can cause.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/13/2007 10:59:35 AM   
MsCameron


Posts: 238
Joined: 10/14/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Do I date vanilla? Uh, no.

LOL.. As I've had a total of two dates in the last year and a half, I'd say I don't date at all.

I have no interest in dating someone vanilla.

MC

_____________________________

I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.
Spiral out. Keep going, going...
Lateralis.Tool

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/13/2007 11:51:03 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Nah, sex is a big factor in my relationships and Id have to meet one really hawt submissive vanilla male and pervert him So I'll save myself the trouble and continue to date my sub, he floats my boat and thats all that matters.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to MsCameron)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/13/2007 3:57:18 PM   
DigitBox


Posts: 154
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Hello ladies, and those that like the ladies
Do you date vanilla? meaning non lifestylers?
Why? Do you enjoy it?
Do you tell them about this lifestyle?




I date only those who have similar kinks. The whole idea of a vanilla relationship/sex life has pretty much been out of my grasp since I was a teenager and I was feeling/desiring things that I was sure that most would see as odd.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/13/2007 7:52:40 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Thanks for answering!
LadyLupine, I know how you feel, I don't feel the need YET for vanilla fuck buddies.
I would probably take one of these "fake" subbies first, but I ain't mad at ya.
 
M, I am somewhat in your corner.  I feel no desire to date vanilla.
 
Karamel, you are a little bit younger so I understand.
At least you are able to play a bit with the vanilla boys.
 
MasterFireMaam, I like your approach.
 
Tammy, you are lucky to have your hubby and your subby.
 
Feline, you are LUCKY to have found each other.
 
Lady Topaz, I like your approach also.
It is great to have a variety of interests and be up front about WHO you are.
 
badgirl, it's best to just hang in here and be picky, if you don't want to settle
for less.
You deserve it.
 
MsCameron, I have no desire to date vanilla men either.
 
Lashra, hang on to your subbie!
 
Digit? I feel ya!


 
 
 
 

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to DigitBox)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/13/2007 7:57:08 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		One additional caveat,
I actually WILL date a potential submissive in a vanilla manner.
I don't jump into or engage in "casual sex", "casual relationships"
or "casual" BDSM.
Actually, going on vanilla dates with a potential submissive is a BIG
turn on.
It gives us a chance to get to know each other WELL, in casual settings.
Talk and get to know each other.
Decide if we are really compatible BEFORE going any further.
So NO, I don't want to vanilla date men that are not submissive at this point.
But YES, I do want to vanilla date my potential submissive for a considerable
length of time to get to know him as a person.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/13/2007 8:19:25 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		I don't date lifestylers at all. There is no way I want to limit myself to living one certain way 24/7. I want more options and I really want someone who can be there for more than just bed/ BDSM sport. I'd get tired of a guy who expected to live as a sub all the time. 

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to MzMia)
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RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/13/2007 9:37:33 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Because of what we are looking for, and what our arrangement is - they have to know what they are getting into.  Most either decide that it's not for them, or they go into "right on! threesome!!" mode and are dismissed.

So, no, we don't date vanilla guys, but - like you Mia - we do like to go on vanilla dates with submissives.

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 1/13/2007 9:38:55 PM >

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Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

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RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/14/2007 1:13:41 AM   
Coupleseeking321


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		I did and now he's my Dom so go figure. I think it pays to be open to whatever fate throws at you.

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/14/2007 1:35:21 AM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline 		I vanilla date lifestylers.  Be they DOM or sub.  Generally the DOM for friendship  and/or a bed buddies as I don't switch and generally neither do they...but the sub I tend to delve more deeply.  It is very difficult to find subs that will date without getting lifestylely right away so I don't date subs all that much.  Its a shame...I would much rather date subs.....

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

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RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/14/2007 9:33:51 AM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, I date vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, lime.  Kidding aside, I enjoy the company of men in general; their orientation doesn't matter all that much.  Sometimes I like to verbally spar, (in a fun way, for the most part,) so, it makes for a fun evening when dating a guy that knows nothing of my bdsm interest.  It also cracks me up when later they say to me if they knew all it would have taken was for them to drop to their knees and bark like a dog to get some bedroom time, they would have happily howled at the moon, let me dress them up, waited on me, bathed me, served me, whatever it took.  Not so different than the average submissive you run into on the net these days anyway.  Believe me in my experience, they aren't all that much different.   Some are just more stubborn and defiant than others.

Rosa

< Message edited by RosaB -- 1/14/2007 9:36:32 AM >

(in reply to MzMia)
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RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 1/14/2007 10:00:36 AM   
mam


Posts: 54
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		no.
Bubba's make me laugh.


(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 20
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